Chapter 20: Side Effect (2)

That night.

As usual, I was scribbling in my diary by lamplight in the corner of the room.

—Damn it. I've been using side effect as an excuse with the old man, but I can't believe it's kicking in already.

A moment later, I paused writing after jotting down the day's frustrations.

'The handwriting... I don't like it.'

Trying to write Hangul with a brush resulted in crooked, uneven strokes. I felt an overwhelming urge to rip up the page and start anew.

—This goddamn side effect. Wait, since when did I care about handwriting?

Come to think of it, I always had terrible handwriting regardless of the tools.

—It’s not like anyone else is gonna read this! It’s my own private diary to complain in, so who cares what the writing looks like!

— But it looks fucking weird! I want to tear it all up.

— aslkdjf;laksjdf;lkajsdf

The last lines of my entry devolved into meaningless strokes of frustrated scribbling.

After wrestling with my handwriting and venting my frustrations for a while...

"Oh?"

A sudden thought occurred to me.

'Do I really need to stress myself out trying to ignore the side effect?'

Honestly, the current side effect was just 'irritation-inducing' at most.

It was something I could ignore if I wanted to. That's why I was still writing in my diary despite being annoyed.

However.

—This is just gonna get way worse as I get stronger, isn't it?

If it’s just annoying now, it’s pretty obvious it’ll turn into full-blown OCD once I get better with the Soul-Stealing Heartless Sword.

That said, I couldn't stop learning the Demonic Art now. My life literally depends on it.

But if I set that aside…

—What’s so bad about being a perfectionist?

The only reason I'm stressed is because I'm thinking of it as a 'side effect.'

So… What if I embraced it and strived for perfection in everything?

"It might not be bad at all," I muttered, nodding to myself.

"Right. It's only a problem because I think of it as a side effect. Positive thinking. Yeah. Positivity is key."

With that little pep talk, I ripped the pages out of my diary.

Then, like a master craftsman sewing each stitch with utmost care, I wrote my diary with all my heart.

I meticulously rewrote the parts that didn't satisfy me. I put in the consonants and vowels one by one as if I were handling a treasure.

Beads of sweat formed on my forehead from the intense concentration.

"Whew. That was close."

I quickly wiped the sweat from my forehead while muttering. If the sweat had dripped down and smeared the ink, I would have had to rewrite everything. Again.

Having dodged that crisis, I returned to focusing intently on my diary.

Time passed without my notice as I concentrated...

"Phew."

Finishing writing everything I wanted to with satisfyingly precise characters, I let out a deep sigh.

My back and shoulders were aching from being so tense for so long.

"Time to get some sleep."

But somehow, my mind felt much more at ease.

Sometime later…

"Mmm."

A sudden urge to use the bathroom woke me in the middle of the night.

"Sigh. The traditional-style bathroom is really inconvenient at night."

It's been over a year and that’s still the one thing I can't get used to here.

As I was getting up while grumbling about this, I suddenly froze.

The moon peeked through the clouds, casting a faint glow through the paper-covered window. But one corner of the room remained shrouded in darkness—a human-shaped shadow.

As I stood frozen, the figure's hidden face turned towards me.

The man, whose face was hidden in shadow, looked at me with his only visible eyes.

"You saw?"

"......"

It was the voice of my Third Brother Seo Wan-pyeong.

'So, you've finally come to kill me.'

A cold sweat ran down my spine.

* * *

I was tongue-tied for a second, but I quickly forced myself to speak.

They say even in a tiger's den, you can survive if you keep your wits about you.

Right now, the tiger had literally broken into my house.

Still, doing something was better than doing nothing.

"What brings you here at this late hour, Third Brother?"

"You don't seem pleased that I've come," he accused.

I carefully answered while trying to hide my fear.

"How could that be? I'm overjoyed that my deeply respected Third Brother has come to visit. I was just surprised you’d come so late at night and not during the day.”

While one part of my brain was ringing alarm bells about the threat to my life, lies flowed smoothly from my mouth.

'I suppose this is an occupational hazard too.'

Years of dealing with irate customers honed my ability to maintain a polite facade while internally cursing their entire lineage.

Perhaps my flattery worked as his eyes turned crescents.

It meant he was smiling, though it seemed somewhat twisted.

“I had to avoid the guards.”

"...I have guards?"

Is he talking about Jin Hayeon?

While I pondered this, Third Brother's answer was unexpected.

"I'm not talking about your guards, but my own."

"...Are you saying you came at this late hour to avoid your own guards?"

The fuck?

While I swallowed those words, my crazy assassin of a Third Brother cleared up my confusion.

"That's right. My guards aren't there to protect me, but to protect those who might die by my hand."

"......"

So, if he snuck past guards who are supposed to stop him from killing people… that means he’s here to kill me.

Cold sweat started pouring down my spine like a storm.

'Should I scream?'

No, that would get my throat slit before Jin Hayeon could even arrive.

Can I draw my sword and hold out until Jin Hayeon joins the fight?

My mind naturally went to the technique I learned today. The first form of the Soul-Stealing Heartless Sword is a move specialized in blocking an enemy’s attack while dishing swift counterattacks.

Thanks to Master's teachings, my sword was always within reach, right beside my bed. But…

'Can I block an attack from this crazy fucker?'

The difference between me, who had just entered the Tainted stage, and the senior brother, who had reached the Extremity stage, was insurmountable.

My instinct screamed in protest.

While I was trying to find a way to survive by racking my brains...

For some reason, the crazy fucker spoke again.

"It's always been like this. Master seems to find me untrustworthy. I suppose I'm too inadequate to be the Heavenly Demon's disciple. But you… you're different."

"M-me?"

"Yes. I heard Master recently issued new instructions to all branches. About creating a school, I believe. And Master proudly said that the idea came from you."

"......"

So…

Master bragged about me, and my paranoid senior brother, consumed by jealousy, had come to kill me.

‘This is the most fucked-up butterfly effect in history!!!!!’

I felt like I was going crazy from the injustice.

Right at that moment.

His right arm extended towards me.

'He's going to kill me!'

But I couldn't just accept death like this.

I quickly moved my arm to grab the scabbard beside my bed, but my senior brother's movement of extending his right hand was much faster than my attempt to draw the sword.

But instead of a sword, he held… crumpled pieces of paper.

"???"

While my mind was filled with confusion, he spoke, “That’s why I came. I was curious. I wanted to see what the difference was between me and the little brother our Master is so proud of. I had to sneak here because if I just walked over, my guards might say something weird to the Master. I can’t disappoint him again.”

"I-is that so?"

"And when I came in, I found these papers on the floor. I tried to see what Master's proud youngest disciple had written before falling asleep, but it was writing I couldn't read."

Only then did I realize what those paper scraps were.

‘My torn-up diary pages!’

I was so focused on writing a new page that I forgot about the torn pages.

I guess since I’m only at the first stage of the Demonic Art, my OCD only kicks in for specific things. I hadn't yet reached the point of pathological cleaning, so I left it as it was and fell asleep.

"Can you tell me what is written here?"

I repeated the same excuse I'd given to Jin Hayeon.

"To study the teachings in such a way. It's a method I never would have thought of. Indeed, you are completely different from someone like me. Well, I suppose I'm the one who's useless."

Sensing imminent danger, I quickly interjected, "Useless? What are you saying, Third Brother! How could you, the person I respect the second most, say such a thing!"

"You respect me second most?"

"That's right. Except for our great Master, you are the person I respect most!"

His teeth flashed again in the shadows, but the smile quickly vanished, replaced by a gloomy voice. “Respect a guy like me? You’re making fun of me.”

His words were laced with thorns.

'The side effect of the Shadowless Fourteen Moves has shattered his self-esteem.'

Then, if I could boost his self-esteem, wouldn't he leave without killing me?

It might seem like a far-fetched idea, but it was better than giving up without trying anything.

They say that money can even make a ghost dance, so maybe praises can make a psychopath dance?

"I heard Third Brother entered and graduated from the Hall of the Demonic Way as the top student. I'm just someone who's not even sure if I can enter the Hall of the Demonic Way."

“As Master’s favored disciple, you'll surely enter as the top student. Besides, Eldest Brother and Sixth Brother also achieved top rank."

"M-Master told me! He told me how much faith he has in you, Third Brother!"

"Master said such things?"

The gloomy senior brother finally showed a reaction at the mention of Master.

“It was something he told me in passing, asking me never to tell the other senior brothers. It seems Master doesn't directly praise us or others to prevent us from becoming arrogant. I've never received praise from Master during training either."

This was a blatant lie, but I spoke with unwavering confidence.

“I've always worried that I'm far too inadequate compared to Master and my senior brothers."

"A bright disciple like you worried about such things?"

"Me, clever? I'm always getting scolded by Master. And while scolding me, Master always told me to learn from Third Brother."

"...Master said such things?"

His lips twitched in the shadows. He was wavering.

Seizing the opportunity, I continued my relentless praise.

"That's right, Senior Brother! Shadowless Fourteen Moves is truly the world's greatest assassination art. Master said that just your existence puts his mind at ease, as you could handle even the Leader of the Murim Alliance if you wished!"

“And you’re so tall and handsome, I’m super jealous! When I grow up, I want to be just like you! Hahaha.”

Countless amounts of rainbow farts poured from my mouth for a long time.

"Hahaha! I never imagined Master and my youngest brother held me in such high regard. I always thought they looked down on me as a gloomy fellow."

"Ahahaha. Y-You're mistaken, senior brother. How could I ever think of you like that?"

Finally, Third Brother broke into a bright smile.

He nodded in satisfaction, then tilted his head and asked.

"By the way, youngest brother."

"Yes, senior brother."

"Why are you holding your sword?"

"......"