CHAPTER 179: EIRA’S FEELINGS

Kael’s POV

Once my body calmed, I opened my eyes and looked at her, our faces only an inch apart. I did not wish to separate from her. Her delicate form beneath me still felt like heaven itself.

Her eyes remained closed, her breath coming in soft, uneven gasps as she tried to recover from the storm I had put her through.

"Eira," I whispered her name gently.

Her lashes fluttered open, and she met my gaze. Her eyes were moist, shimmering with emotions that struck deep into me.

"Are you alright?" I asked, my voice tender, almost fragile.

Instead of answering, she turned her face toward the window. Silent tears slipped free, trailing down her cheeks.

It was not unexpected, yet my heart grew unbearably heavy. Her emotions seeped into me, dragging me down into the pain she was feeling.

The bond between us let me know her emotions, her pain at the moment.

I pressed a soft kiss to her temple, my nose brushing along her cheek in a fleeting touch of comfort.

"I am sorry," I murmured, the words rough and unsteady. "I should never have done what I did that night in the prison."

A soft sob escaped her lips as my confession broke the silence. I felt my chest tighten. "It must have hurt you deeply. I am sorry. I should have given you a chance to speak, but I let my anger consume me. I should not have done it."

Her sobs grew, her body trembling beneath mine. The pillow under her head grew damp as her tears fell freely.

"I won’t ask you to forgive me. I won’t try to explain why I did it. Hate me if you wish. Pour all your anger onto me. I will take it." My lashes quivered as I fought the sting of my own tears.

"But do not hate yourself. Do not hate your wolf for what happened between us now. Mating was important for you both. Everything that you were denied, you must get it so you could be stronger. It is my sin, not yours. So please... don’t despise yourself for giving in to me. If you must hate, then hate me. Do you hear me? Hate me, and only me."

She didn’t respond, nor did I expect her to.

"You are my mate now, and I promise to always take care of you," I assured, unsure if she even trusted me. "You can rest for a while more." I pecked her cheek softly. "You can wake up after I prepare breakfast for you."

I pulled out of her finally, and she flinched a little but didn’t look at me.

The moment I moved away, she curled to her side and faced her back to me. I covered her with sheets once more, giving her a chance to deal with her emotions, and went to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

The other four weren’t home. I checked the message from Lucian that said he had left along with Jason and Rafe to bring Eira’s son. Roman wasn’t home either. I knew the reason why he hadn’t returned yet.

In their absence, I had to take care of the start of the day by feeding the pets and preparing breakfast, which wasn’t a usual task for me, but I knew how to cook. After having my first mating with my mate, it was a great pleasure to cook for her.

I put on the clothes that were arranged in the wardrobe of the side house. After repairing and renovating the side house like it was before, I made sure everything was there to make it the home I had once dreamed of, where she would be with me.

"Your pets must be starving. I am going to bring them here from the main house and then prepare breakfast for us. Everything you need is here. You can get ready," I informed her, and left, as she wasn’t going to respond.

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Eira’s POV

He left at last. I could finally breathe. The tears I had been holding back poured out more fiercely the moment he was gone. I wanted to cry aloud, to scream, to let the storm of pain inside me tear its way out, but my voice failed me.

He told me not to hate myself or my wolf. But how could I not?

The very man who destroyed my life, the one who had hurt me most and abandoned me to suffer among monsters, was the same man I had just given in to.

Why did it have to be him?

He had marked me. He was my mate now. And every time, I would have to yield to him like some lustful bitch. I had no control, no strength to resist, because he was my mate, a powerful Alpha. If he called for me now, all I could do was wag my tail and obey. The thought of that future with him sickened me.

For six long years, I had been used, broken, left to rot. I do not even know how many men had taken me, how many hands and bodies I endured. Yet through it all, I felt nothing. I was an empty husk, a corpse that only knew pain. No pleasure. No warmth. Nothing but agony.

But with this bastard... with him... I felt something. I felt pleasure. And I hated it.

I always knew just like the other assholes, they would fuck me. I was ready to face what I had endured the past six years.

All I wanted was for it to happen like always, where I could block my mind, my senses, and lose myself in the darkness without knowing what was happening with my body.

But...he made me feel every bit of it. I was wide awake. And like the whore I was, I was begging him to fuck me.

It was all because of that bitch wolf inside me. Only if she wasn’t weak and had some brain to fight against our abuser.

They could go on and fuck me, and even kill me. But I didn’t want to feel it.

I felt utterly helpless now, and it hurt me more. That bond with him now—I could feel it. My soul was ready to submit to him, even though I didn’t want it.

What was I going to do now? Will it ever change?