bChapter /bb178 /b

    I shrug while watching them drag him away effortlessly, his hands tied behind his back and a blindfold over his eyes. I won’t let him see anything until I have him securely locked behind the bars of a cell. He does everything he can to not seem disturbed; however, I can smell the fear and uncertainty emanating from his pores.

    “And your son, Eleazar? Should I find him and punish him for your sins too?”

    “I know you wouldn’t.” A small smile that makes me want to punch the bastard curves his lips. “You want ra’s affection too much to risk it by harming an innocent child.”

    I feel the dagger stab and twist in my gut, though I try to hide it with an agonizedugh. The worst part is that he’s not wrong; I’m a monster, but what I would do for that woman. I would tear my skin off in strips, pull my fangs out with my own hands, chain myself in the darkest cell if that’s what it took to stop being the monster I am. The problem is that she needs this monster, she needs me lethal and cold, because the

    world wants to devour her alive and spit out her bones. So, I’ll be her monster. Always.

    “Don’t put so much hope in me. I can’t be redeemed.”

    With that, my men take him away. I turn, facing the water’s surface, now a dark shade that keeps me alert to the possible creatures hiding beneath. I take a deep breath, feeling like my head is about to explode.

    “It’s very quiet,” Drystan points out. “My theory is that the banshees have your son. Their camp is one of the few ces supernatural creatures can’t easily ess.”

    “Yes, I remember well.”

    And so it is. Still, if I make a small effort, I can feel the electricity that ran through my body every time I tried to break through the barriers to

    the banshee camp. The intensity kept growing until it was paralyzing. I wouldn’t rmend the experience.

    “Shall we go back?”

    I nod, look for a few seconds at theke, and then head home. It feels strange to think of the castle as my home. Until now, it was just a ce l knew I had to return to in order to protect my legacy; now I want to return, and it has nothing to do with duty.

    It’ste at night, and I know I’ll arrive with the dawn of a new day. I just hope to find ra in my sheets, naked and with that almost imperceptible smile tattooed on her lips while she sleeps. The journey back feels eternal, it’s as if my legs aren’t running fast enough or the path, though I know it’s impossible, has gotten longer. I can’t believe the moment when I finally see the castle’s perimeter in the distance. As we approach the gates, I be more impatient.

    All enthusiasm is cut short when I spot a familiar figure in front of them, arguing with one of the guards.

    I slow my steps to make sure my eyes aren’t ying tricks on me. What is he doing here? Does he have suicidal tendencies?

    “What are you doing here?” I snarl.

    Ciro turns around, and his body visibly rxes as if seeing me is the best thing that’s happened to him. He takes a few steps toward me, running his hands through his hair, messing it up in all directions. His pink eyes are filled with worry. Or is it fear?

    “I know you won’t understand anything,” he starts to say. “To be totally honest, neither do I. I just know I had toe here. Something’s wrong, something rted to ra. I felt something.”

    “You? Why would you feel anything rted to ra?”

    For a brief moment, a thought crosses my mind, making me act like a madman. I close the remaining distance between us and grab him by the neck, making sure he can feel my fingers pressing against his trachea. I grind my teeth, knowing I must look like apletely unhinged

    person right now.

    “Did you drink from her? Did you do something to her?” I growl.

    “What?” he spits, struggling. “No! Of course not! I would never touch her without her wanting…”

    Texamine his eyes, looking for any trace of a lie, but he seems sincere. Reluctantly, I release his throat and pull away from him.

    “Exin yourself,” I demand.

    “I don’t know, Cassian. I just felt a pull in my guts, and ra’s face projected in my mind. Then I came running here, but they won’t let me see her. Not without your consent. I’ve been waiting for hours.”

    I shove him aside with a swipe of my hand. The guards, as soon as they see me, step aside and open the doors protected by new enchantments. I rush inside, debating in my head what Ciro just said. I don’t know if I’m more worried that he might feel something rted to her and I don’t, or if something has really happened in my absence. Without stopping to look at anyone, I storm into the castle and head straight for my room. I throw open the doors wide and see no trace of ra. I tell myself not to worry, maybe she’s sleeping in her room. Deep down, I know it’s not like that–why would she sleep in her bed, when she could sleep in ours?

    When I reach her room, the door is ajar, and as I expected, she’s not there either. I keep moving forward, searching for Evanora. My suspicions are confirmed when I don’t find the banshee either. I grunt, knowing that no matter how much I keep searching, I won’t find her.

    “Drystan!” I growl.

    I move toward the banshee’s bed, perfectly made, and find a note. I hold it between my fingers and read it carefully.

    “If you find this, it means I haven’t returned yet. Don’t worry, I’m fine. There’s just something I need to take care of.”

    PS: You hurt me too, always.

    ra.