12 - Optimization

[PRAGUE, THE HEART OF THE EURA STRONGHOLD / THE CASTLE]

Katya was alone. She had her clothes on, but didn’t take them off in the shower. She sat down on the shower floor hugging her knees. The cold water sprayed upon her, and she didn’t seem to care, matter of fact, she felt disgusted by it, and by herself, and by the mere thought of the pure water being corrupted by touching her.

She didn’t know what to say, what to do, or even what to think. Her pale hands were slightly shaking. The shower sounded awfully loud. So loud it made her want to shut it up, but her own feeling of powerlessness prevented her from doing so.

“Why...”

“Why would that...thing...do that to me...?”

“LV2 was supposed to be mine. Mine and mine alone. And he went in, disregarded my presence altogether, and...”

A tear slowly escaped her eye.

“I felt like I got ripped out of my own body, like my own will was completely disregarded. My words stopped holding value to both LV2 and...that thing. It didn’t care at all, did it? All it wanted was control...and I felt it. I felt its presence, and its soul was unbearably dark and ill-willed, it was a soul that looked like something supposed to imitate a human being...”

“Is that what I’ve been reduced to? A failure of a soulful whose prized possession, whose soul expression itself would be tarnished by some out-of-control soulful acting purely on instinct...I was awoken from the coma, saved by Lady Aizawa, I was granted a life, and this is how I’m grateful to het? By having this...happen to me?!”

“What will Lady Aizawa think of me? She’d call me useless and pathetic, wouldn’t she? What would Nighty think of me?!”

“What would Nighty think of me?!?!”

She closed her eyes, moving her hands to cover her ears.

“Stop thinking about it...”

“Please, just stop thinking about it. It hurts...”

“What would Nighty say to you? He’d call you corrupted. He wouldn't want to be around you anymore.”

“No, I'm sure that’s not the case...”

“What are you so sure of?”

“Just shut up! I don’t want to think about it anymore!”

“Just shut up! Stop it!” Katya yelled in frustration. She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down, but the resulted spark of concentration only served to lower her deeper into the abyss.

Outside that bathroom was Nightseer himself. He felt devastated, he remembered the look on Katya’s eyes when the incident happened, she looked like she experienced death for a few seconds and returned to the world of the living - having seen indescribable horrors. He tried to relate to her, but nothing in his memory came close to being a similar event. He sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall, and pondered. He felt upset and even a little betrayed that a soldier supposedly on his side would behave itself like that.

He could hear Katya quietly sobbing, after all, all of his senses were sharpened - courtesy of his modified vision. He didn’t know whether or not entering would be a good idea, so he just chose to leave Katya alone. Maybe she wouldn’t want to have another soulful close to her. He quietly picked at his own nails, watching them with fascination.

“What kind of inhumane creature would it have to be...and how strong would it have to be to do that to her?”

“Lady Aizawa said that we had a loss today. I’m assuming that the asshole was killed by the Heisei. But she mentioned the name ‘Nachtvessel Alpha’.”

“I pretended that I didn’t, but I knew about the soulfuls trapped in the basement. The name 'Nachtvessel’ implies that...Nacht really is back. And now there’s three of them. Except instead of being a murderous and nihilistic maniac, it's a reserved and ruthless servant...”

He quickly got up and collected himself. He felt a presence approaching him, and almost instinctively, he unsheathed his weapon, thinking that it would be a threat to Katya. The footsteps grew closer and closer, each of them sounding like a gunshot. Aizawa emerged and approached him.

“Is Katya inside?” she calmly asked. The two other Nachtvessels, Beta and Gamma, were behind her. They looked expressionless, careless and ambitionless. Nightseer posed up in front of the door leading to the bathroom, as if protecting what was inside.

“Nightseer, answer me.” Aizawa repeated. “Is Katya inside?”

“It is best if she’s left alone.” Nightseer replied. His breathing got a little bit more intense, he was still a powerless sitting duck in front of Aizawa herself. “She is very shaken by the events.”

“Nachtvessel Alpha had one key instruction, that is, to take any route available to win.” Aizawa said, taking a step forward. It felt like if Nightseer didn’t move out of the way, she would just walk over him. “It is unfortunate that this happened, but it is nothing irreversible.”

“What do you-”

“You two will wait here.” Aizawa ordered. Before entering, she glanced at Nightseer one more time. “And you will be on standby. You are going to be busy soon.”

Aizawa entered the bathroom. She saw Katya, sitting on the shower floor, holding her head, being splashed and almost drowned by the loud water. She approached her and crouched down, extending her hand to her and gently placing it on her forehead.

“Katya, what is the issue?”

“I’m so-sorry...I...” Katya said, trying to appear collected and in charge of the situation and her appearance. “That was a completely...unexpected...thing...”

“Katya, when Alpha took over LV2, it helped your evolution as a soulful, did it not?” Aizawa asked. “Did you get stronger? Perhaps, did you evolve your soul expression further?”

“I...what?” Katya asked, her frustration enough to make her speak up even against her boss.

“Did you evolve as a soulful following the incident?” Aizawa asked.

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“I...you know, I would like it much more if you hugged me or something!” Katya said, tears still sparkling in her eyes.

“Now is not the time for pampering.” Aizawa explained. “There is a war that will unfold soon. Katya, I need you to focus and cooperate with me.”

“Do you know how awful it felt? It’s like...” Katya vented. “It was my soul expression, mine! It...LV2, it was supposed to be me. It was me. And that fucking asshole, it just ripped my own self out of me and got in charge. I feel...I feel worthless now. I feel like my own self is worthless and is just a tool. And you’re talking about evolution?”

“Katya...”

“You seemed more excited to talk to me about evolution than you seemed sad to talk to me about what happened.” Katya complained. “And worst of all, you...you let Reiner die. Why aren’t we avenging Reiner’s death? I don’t care about some stupid bases, that ice manipulator killed Reiner and she’s still walking around, probably laughing with her stupid fucking boyfriend who you’re obsessed with!”

“Was it not Reiner’s decision to step into combat?”

“Was it not your decision to kidnap her in the first place?” Katya said, now she sounded more mad than anything. “You...you don’t even care about us, right? Because even if we die, you’ll just kidnap someone and use your ability to turn them into a soldier...much better than us, much stronger than us...you didn’t care about Reiner either...you...”

“You evil bitch...” She broke down crying. “I’m sorry...”

“Now, this is no way to behave yourself.” Aizawa said, retaining her frozen smile, not an ounce of pity visible in her pitch black iris. “I do not need this Katya right now.”

“H-what?”

“I’ll patch you up a little.” Aizawa said. “I need the Katya that is as strong as I need her to be.”

She slowly and gently embraced her, carefully caressing her head...

Nightseer immediately sensed a sharp release of soul prowess, and without a second thought, he barged into the bathroom.

“What the hell is-”

He found Aizawa holding Katya dearly, patting her on the head and even kissing her on the forehead. She held her as if she was her own child, shushing and gently lulling her side to side. A few seconds later following Nightseer’s entrance. Aizawa slowly turned her head around, still holding that smile.

“Is anything the problem?” She asked as if nothing was ever wrong.

...

“The first thing I ever remembered was a warning.”

“The second was Lady Aizawa’s eyes.”

Nightseered pondered, diving deep into his memories, until he heard the door open. Katya entered the room and she seemed to be rather...eased. Her mood wasn’t as devastated, she looked like her usual self again and behaved like her usual self too.

“Nighty, what are ya thinking about again?” Katya asked with a playful teasing voice. “I want some tea, I assume you want some too, right?”

“Katya...?”

“What? You’re acting like you’re seeing a ghost.” Katya smirked at him. “Don’t tell me, do I look that scary?” She paused for a moment. “Hey, is this your way of calling me scary?!”

“No, Katya, you...” Nightseer was confused for a moment, before asking. “Why are you like this?”

“You know, you could just tell me you didn’t like the joke.” Katya said, her mood dimming a little, like the sky during the assembling of transparent clouds before a rainstorm.

“No, that’s...that’s not the case.” Nightseer said. “You shouldn’t be happy right now. Something...terrible happened to you.”

“What?” Katya asked, frustrated and a little flushed. “Just say it already.”

“You-” Nightseer understood what was the case. He stepped back, almost hitting the table on his way and falling down. On the floor, he crawled back. His breath became uncontrollable.

“Nighty?” Katya asked, now concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“Y-you...” Nightseer barely got those words out. “Don’t you remember? You were fighting the Heisei in LV2, and...and...one of the Nachtvessels took control over LV2...”

“What?” Katya asked, utterly confused. “That’s...ridiculous. That could never happen, no one can physically control LV2 other than me, even though it’s old science now.”

“Old science?”

“Yeah. I have an idea.” Katya said. “Remote piloting is for pussies. I have a design of LV3 in mind, and it’s gonna be the most awesome thing ever! It’ll surely withstand whatever explosive bullshit they had.”

“Ex...wait, so you do remember what happened?!” Nightseer slowly got up. “You remember the battle with the Heisei, right? Tell me, what happened?!”

“You just wanna rub my loss in my face, don’t you?!” Katya complained. “I fought the mass off, and LV2 got destroyed by the explosion...and now we’re here. Happy? Nothing weird happened, and certainly no control-snatching.”

“But don’t you remember? You were in an awful state.” Nightseer rambled. “You felt useless and corrupt.”

“I...” Katya fell silent.

“Well?”

“I...do, but...” Katya slowly said. “I don’t remember what caused it...”

“Fuck...” Nightseer said, grabbing his head. “Fucking damn it, it has come to this, huh?”

“What...?”

“Lady Aizawa...” Nightseer said. “She used memory extraction on you. Fuck, she used it to remove whatever caused you to spiral into mental hell...”

“That makes no sense.” Katya said. “Lady Aizawa would never do that to us. She promised it to us, remember? She swore on her life that she wouldn’t do it to us. She saved us!”

“Yeah, but...” Nightseer fell silent, becoming a victim of a complete loss of words.

“She exterminated the truth.”

“She was supposed to be a beacon of curiosity, a soulful that prioritized knowledge and the truth above all else. She uses her ability to obtain the truth about things, so why did she eradicate knowledge?”

“I can see if she did it for Katya’s sake, but still...hiding the truth won’t change reality. Katya forgetting about the incident doesn’t reverse it or nullify its effects. Fucking hell, if she did this for our sake, does this imply there’s a chance she used memory extraction on us on other occasions?”

“No, there’s no way. We saw her take an oath. We all saw her promise that she would never do that.”

“She'd never use it on me because I'd be able to protect myself against it!"

“Hey, Nighty, this is why I think we should change this place up a bit.” Katya said. “You’re starting to go crazy. I always felt like this place feels empty, say, what do you think of getting a pet?”

“This place feels...empty?”

“Yeah, I can’t really put a finger on why, but it just does.” Katya said. “It’s like something was supposed to be here, but now it isn't. And it’s making me feel empty too. Hey, it’s that emptiness that’s making you go crazy.”

“What do you think is missing though?”

“Ugh, I just said, I don’t know!” Katya complained. “Stop making me repeat myself. If you wanna hear my voice, just say it.”

“Katya, answer the question, okay?” Nightseer almost demanded it.

“Sheesh, what’s gotten into you?” Katya asked, slightly disgusted. “Well, it might be the colors. My room is alright, but, the colors here make it feel like some abandoned torture dungeon. Or it could be the furniture too, more specifically, the lack thereof. We could get some more chairs and sofas here, maybe install a bigger TV...actually, I don’t think a new TV is even necessary. But listen, if we get a cat, everything will be fine. Right?”

“You know what? Maybe you’re right.” Nightseer sighed. “A scenery change would be nice.”

“If you had a cat purr on your lap, you wouldn’t be stressed.” Katya said. “...hey, don’t look at me like that! I’m not gonna do that!”

“It just helped me remember stuff.” Nightseer said. “All those days of you and Reiner arguing whether you should get a cat or a dog. In the end, you decided to get nothing.”

“Huh?” Katya asked. “Who’s Reiner?”

“...what?”

“You just mentioned a name, didn’t you? Who’s Reiner?”