15 - Two Wrongs

“Hey...?”

“What? What’s up?”

“Well, you tell me. Haven’t spoken to you in a minute.”

“I mean, I’m fine. Alive and kicking. How about yourself?”

“Doing fine. At Rin’s place right now, you can say hi to her.”

“Yeah, pass the greetings.”

“So uhh...how’s things? Shit, I don’t know, what are you doing about that acclamation of yours?”

“Dunno what I’m supposed to do with it. I felt exhausted at first, but now I feel fine.”

“And uhh, anything in particular you tryna learn right now? I mean, hey, you unlocked a pretty good chunk of your arsenal. I gotta tell you, it’s the best thing ever.”

“Yeah.”

“So? Is there anything you’re trying to learn? Or practicing maybe? Come on man, there’s no need to hold information. You’re not an active spy like back then.”

“Like I said, I don’t know.”

“Heh, you wanna do some sparring together? Would help you get in shape, master a thing or two. Hell, I might need an adaptation against electricity for the future, cause fire is a pretty useful adaptation to have.”

“No.”

“Okay, well, what are you up to if you’re so busy?”

“I’ll be going out with Dima later today, he’s gonna propose to his girlfriend later today, and wants me to be there with him.”

“Ah, I see. Now it all makes sense.”

“What?”

“I don’t know man, I guess things just make sense now.”

“Sakuto, it’s...”

“It’s what?”

“It’s...not exactly...I don’t even know. I’m just...”

“Oskar, I feel like there’s unnecessary tension between us.” Sakuto sighed. It felt like he had prepared a fiery response, but resorted to taking the calmer route instead. “I don’t think this petty stuff is gonna get us anywhere.”

“Do you...suggest anything?”

“I don’t know, man. I just want you to be careful.”

“I understand, Sakuto. But you can trust me, alright? It’ll be fine.”

“I...”

“Trust me, everything’s alright.” Oskar said.

“I guess so, but still. I’m not trusting him, I’m trusting you and your guarantee that everything will be fine.”

“Yeah. Thanks for understanding. And uhh...I guess I should’ve communicated some things better with ya. My bad if you felt bad after the whole incident at the meeting.”

“No, I understand. It’s...it’s fine.”

“Yeah...”

“Hey, Oskar, you gotta show me your acclamation in person, you know that?”

“Oh for sure. Come on, we can meet up tomorrow, you can pay me a visit since you have real-life fast travel. Bring Ichika along too.”

“Hah, reminds me of the first time we went to hang out. You know, when it was the old group, with Hayk and Kouta...”

“Yeah, we’ve come a long way.”

“You’re right...we’ve come a long way.” Sakuto said. “See ya tomorrow, alright?” He said, before hanging up.

“Huh...” Ichika said, watching Sakuto return. “That was...surprisingly wholesome.”

“What did you expect?” Sakuto asked. “He’s my best friend. If I didn’t talk things out with him, how the hell would we still be brothers?”

“He’s the only friend I have...and he’s the only friend who I’m willing to talk things out with.”

“If all of this happened with someone else...”

“I’d probably just drop them.”

...

“It’s good that he’s chill about everything now, I guess...” Oskar said to himself after hanging up the call. Ausra was also in the room, standing by the doorframe between the hallway connecting the bedroom and the living room. and Dima was outside at that time, and it was probably the best possible division of people for that moment.

“But still, I feel like I’m forcing myself to choose here.”

“...”

“Sakuto is my close friend. He’s been loyal to me like a dog and if I were to go to war with the whole world, I know he’d have my back.”

“He kept me company when no one else would, and even though we were apart, we pretty much grew up together. Ever since we played in the same lobby together, and exchanged a few stupid memes with each other... to right now, when we fight not as our game characters, but us ourselves, in real life, fighting on a stage far bigger than any lobby.”

“The first time we had a genuine conversation, I was surprised that I actually found someone like that. He was honest about things, he gave things thought and he tried to find the reason behind things. He was troubled, just like me. He was different, just like me. He had the same type of humor, the same opinions on things, fucking hell, he felt like a brother to me while I hadn’t even seen his face.”

“When his life really went downhill, I was there for him. And that’s probably why he’s this loyal to me. That’s why he’s maybe so dependent on me...but is wanting company from your friend really dependent or just part of human nature?”

“...”

“And then there’s Dima.”

“I’ve gotten to know him ever since Hayk recruited me, or more specifically, I joined Hayk’s team in Tokyo. We had great chemistry together, especially in combat, since I could read his decisions quite well. We started hanging out, talking to each other more honestly and openly, and eventually we just kinda naturally became friends.”

“The day I became a soulful was the day I rushed into the GSC quarters. I wanted to hit it big, I wanted everything. I didn’t even tell Sakuto about it. I registered, but once I left, Ausra confronted me. She dragged me to the side and introduced me to Hayk.”

“It was difficult for her to convince me. I didn’t want any part of it anyways. I just wanted to make a ton of money by being an elemental, I thought with that much wealth and fame life would get more exciting. But something inside me told me that this was the path I was supposed to take, even though I’m not as obsessed with meaning and sentimentality as someone like Sakuto is.”

“Ausra convinced me to meet Hayk, and Hayk convinced me to join. To be fair, I would rather be on good terms with a guy that can stop time.”

“Dima’s partial amnesia and his history...”

“It’ll be fine. Even if something happens, I’ll handle it myself.”

“Oskar?” Ausra asked, watching him ponder. “Anything in particular you wanna say?”

“What is there to say?” Oskar asked. “Looks like things are under control. At least I hope so. He was...pretty obsessed with the idea of killing Dima.”

“Looks like he’s just worried about you.” Ausra said, crossing the doorframe and sitting next to him on the couch. “He just thinks it's the only course of action. Come on, you know him better than anyone else.”

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“You’re right, I know him.” Oskar sighed. “I know that he might have personal reasons too. He's...on paper, he's pretty fucking obsessive. Guy doesn't like him and he doesn't want me to hang around with him or something.”

“Obsessive...?"

“Yeah.”

“Oskar, I’ll be honest with you.” Ausra said. “I don’t know about Dima either. I know you consider him your friend and everything, but still, Sakuto wouldn’t be suspicious for no reason.”

“Sakuto’s an extremely distrustful person.” Oskar sighed, taking a deep breath and leaning back. “It’s normal for him to react that way.”

“I heard you talk to him on the phone just now.” Ausra said. “I’m glad you two talked things over at least.”

“I guess.” Oskar said. “I could see this going a different way, considering just how possessive that guy can get sometimes...”

“I think he just wants to know that you’re there for him.” Ausra said. “I’ve noticed something similar in Ichika too. She’s almost angry with me when I talk to people she doesn’t like or know. I think it’s because she thinks they’re taking me away from her, and I don’t wanna brag about it, but I do mean a lot to her.”

“You think Sakuto is the same?” Oskar asked with a chuckle. “He thinks that Dima is stealing me away from him...that’s so stupid.”

“Lots of feelings are stupid.” Ausra said. “That’s why they’re the opposite of rationality. And that’s what makes them so interesting.”

“Where’d you steal that quote from? Sounds way too good.”

“Hey! I thought of that on the spot, thank you very much.” Ausra complained.

They both shared a silence, accompanied by glances at the ceiling that was still there.

“Irrational, huh...”

“He wanted to know I was there for him. I think I could’ve done a better job, but my hands felt tied.”

“It’s not like I’m some kind of-”

“Babysitter.”

“Huh?”

“Nevermind.” Oskar said. “Just thinking about all the times I had to look after him. And the more I think about it, the more I realize how I might’ve been doing a pretty shitty job. But that’s not because I’m a bad person, it’s because I’m not a babysitter, you know what I mean?”

“She surely knows how it feels.”

“Yeah, I understand you.” Ausra said. “We’re the babysitters, whether we want it or not. For me, I can’t imagine myself not looking after Ichika. For you, it’s more of a predicament than a choice. Yup, we’re the babysitters...and no one’s there to babysit us.”

“Well, it does feel good to help someone, but it’s not really what I want.” Oskar said. “I want an equal friendship, not someone choosing to stay alive because of me. Sakuto already has a girl for that purpose.”

“Don’t say it like that!” Ausra laughed. “That’s fucked up... I don’t know, there’s this saying that stuck with me, that I’m worth only as much as the people I take care of or something.”

“I kind of disagree with that.”

“Yeah, it’s a stupid saying, said by a stupid person.” Ausra said, her mood darkening a little. “It started off as my dad’s whim to get him more and more beer. Ended with me saving Ichika’s life, or ruining it...”

“Yeah, you told me about your parents a while ago. It was a messed up situation.” Oskar said, trying to sound comforting without even realizing it.

“Was...your situation different?”

“Well, my parents are just...kinda there, I guess.” Oskar said. “They say they separated on good terms, I don’t really believe that. They work overseas and they occasionally send me money. Hell, they’re probably disappointed in how I turned out to be.”

“I think you turned out just fine.” Ausra said. “Being in the Heisei isn’t really something anyone’s cut out for.”

“I was always told I lack ambition.” Oskar said. “It wasn’t because I was a failure, I just couldn’t really get into anything. Soulful life is where it was all along.”

“Heh, you tell me.”

“I do have to tell you, actually.” Oskar said, glancing at her. “You’re the one who convinced me to do all of this in the first place, so yeah, thanks. I’d be some bum in an office or a dead elemental if it weren’t for you.”

“Really?” Ausra’s eyes suddenly sparked up. She placed her hand on top of Oskar’s and smiled. “I...I’m happy I could help you.”

Oskar didn’t expect that gesture, but in his mind, things finally started clicking and falling into place.

“It’s the same smile.”

“When she told me about how dangerous the GSC is, and how she needs help in her faction...when I agreed to follow her, she gave me that smile. She smiled at me and thanked me so honestly that I thought everything I heard up until that point in my life was a lie.”

“A smile so alluring and heartwarming that I decided to throw away a successful shot at becoming an elemental for a faction that was due to go to war.”

Ausra suddenly held Oskar’s hand.

“Ausra...?” Oskar asked, questioning the gesture, but not opposing it in any way.

“Sometimes, I think about this little group we have.” Ausra said, her eyes sparkling more, even tearing up a little. “Two babysitters, and two problem children. Everything clicked so well together it doesn’t even seem real...”

“They’re lucky to have us, I guess.” Oskar said. “‘The group wouldn’t function without each one of us.”

“When I agreed to challenge an extremely powerful corporation with just one person by my side, as per her request...”

“Just like when I agreed to irreversibly change the course of my life, as per her request...”

“Just like I’m here, sitting next to her, as per her request that she doesn’t voice...”

“I thought the only way to form a relationship with someone is to help them.” Ausra said.

“That’s not true.” Oskar said, intertwining his fingers with Ausra’s. “You have to be helped too.”

“Huh...?” Ausra looked at him like a lost and scared child. He finally heard something that could shatter her methods, something she accepted deep down but just needed to hear.

“I fall short on that balance of helping and being helped.” Oskar confessed. “That’s why, as much as I hate to admit it, I probably haven’t helped Sakuto enough, and I probably haven’t asked for help enough either. Hell, every time I had it bad, he practically had to drag me out of it...”

“Hah, I’m the extreme.” Ausra’s face was colored by a sad smile. “I obsess with helping the other person, expecting love and appreciation to just come to me.”

“Ausra...”

“W-what...?”

“In the end, we’re both wrong, aren't we?” Oskar said. He seemed anxious and even stressed out.

“She has an abundance of what I lack, right?”

“I have so much to learn from her.”

“It just makes sense.”

“I’ll go with her, I’ll see what’s up. It’s not like I was too interested in the GSC anyways, I never felt like being in the official leagues. It just makes sense.”

“Of course I’ll go in there. I’ll fucking kill every single one of their employees, executives, all of them. I’ll wipe their faces off the planet. After what she told me, and how she entrusted me with that duty...yeah, I’ll do it. It just makes sense.”

“Of course I’ll help her get them back together. It just makes sense.”

“Of course I’ll fight alongside her, I don’t care about myself, I need her to make it out alive. It just makes sense.”

“You said something about feelings usually being stupid, so why does this one make so much sense?”

“Truth is...”

“I did everything without even seeing why.”

"It wasn't that I lacked excitement or purpose in my life...I just couldn't get myself to accept it. I never realized that I have to step through the door."

“You were there all along. We just never realized how much all of this made sense.”

“You’re right...” Ausra said, gripping Oskar’s hand tighter. Their hands were a little sweaty, neither of them knew how to really act in that setting. Ausra felt like for once, she could ask for help, she could finally see what a relationship is really like. Oskar felt like Ausra was close, very close, but he didn’t want her to back off. He wanted her to stay and get even closer, and he wanted to help her in doing so, with more excitement than he had ever felt.

Suddenly, Ausra straddled him, placing her hands firmly on Oskar's shoulders, refusing to give him space to move.

"Ausra...?" Oskar whispered.

"Oskar, I..." Ausra slowly said, her voice a little shaky. Her eyes teared up. "Please...help me..."

She kissed him.

Oskar returned the gesture. He felt like he belonged there, and that this moment sparked something within him that would grant him all the excitement and emotions he'd assume he was detached from.

The kiss broke apart before repeating, and the two embraced one another, slowly falling onto the couch. Oskar, on top of the girl that made him truly feel things, gently held her as if she was the most precious thing ever.

"I'll help you." He said, leaning in a little closer. "I promise...I'll help you. I'll do everything I can for you."

Ausra smiled through the tears and embraced Oskar tighter, the two continuing their exchange of feelings. Perhaps when their speech couldn't convey their momentary passion, their bodies connected...

...

They didn't even bother getting up from the couch. They napped there, with Ausra gently resting her head on Oskar's chest. They probably told each other how they feel around a hundred times while all of that was going on.

They heard a knock on the door, and the sound of the keycard beeping the moment it came into contact with the lock. The two quickly woke up, thankfully they weren't clothed too improperly.

“You guys, I’m back.” Dima said, leaving the two heavy bags on the floor. He had a suit on. “Ausra, can you take care of these? Me and Oskar gotta bounce. We’re almost late to the reservation.”

“Can’t you go a few minutes later? Or on a completely different day?” Ausra asked, a little frustrated.

“Nah, we gotta go today.” Dima said. “It’s the only occasion. Come on, Oskar, let’s go. We’ll be late.”

“Right.” Oskar said, getting up.

“Hey, stay safe, alright? Come back sooner.” Ausra smiled.

“Don’t worry, I will.” Oskar reassured her. “Ausra...take care, okay?"

"To think that I'd look at her like this one day..."

And after a short goodbye, and a few minutes needed for Oskar to dress up, Dima and Oskar left. The sun was already setting outside, by the time they’d get to where Dima’s mind was mindlessly attracted to, it’d be night. Oskar thought of calling Sakuto and talking things out, but he figured he’d just do it the next day. He thought that that day would be his ‘relationship’ day, when he figures things out with Sakuto and talks about developing things with Ausra.

He felt eased at heart that he finally found a solution to a riddle that clouded his mind for such a long time. He and Dima left the hotel. They caught a cab since they no longer had the luxury of utilizing Dima’s portals - something Dima had completely forgotten about. Who could blame him? His memories were all over the place...