CHAPTER 67: HOPELESS SUICIDAL ROMANTIC

Yelena glanced down at the phone in her hand, her brow furrowed. Then she looked up at Mika and Charlotte, who had taken several steps back, giving her space, both of them watching her expectantly.

She couldn’t for the life of her figure out what Mika was up to.

The only reasonable explanation she could conjure was that the phone held some kind of specialized audio file, maybe something that mimicked a birdcall?

That would make sense. If technology could mimic such calls, then attracting specific birds wouldn’t be that far-fetched...But she still had no idea about how the bird was going to be killed with a audio track.

So, still puzzled, she took a breath and tapped the first audio track.

Screech!

At once, the phone let out a sharp, high-pitched screech, birdlike, but more piercing than she’d expected. It echoed out into the open air, startling even her.

And just as she was starting to wonder what kind of creature would even respond to a call like that, there was a flutter of wings overhead.

Suddenly, a medium-sized bird swooped down from the skies. It detached itself from a group of others flying overhead and glided down gracefully, landing just a few feet in front of her.

Yelena instinctively took a step back, startled.

The bird was...beautiful. Vibrant feathers in shades of deep emerald, warm orange, and iridescent blue covered its body. It had long, elaborate tail feathers that shimmered faintly under the moonlight.

And it was tall, nearly waist-height, and standing upright, quietly watching her like a cautious chicken inspecting a newcomer to its coop. Its bright eyes blinked slowly, unafraid, curious.

From behind her came Charlotte’s voice, slightly awed.

"Mika...that call, is it some kind of...bird mating call or something?"

Mika gave a small nod. "Exactly. That’s the call of the Red-throated Theosis. And what you just heard was the female’s call, more specifically, her mating cry."

"Mating call?" Yelena muttered under her breath, eyes still on the bird.

So she had been right. That screech had felt oddly familiar, and now she knew why. It wasn’t just any bird noise, it was a very specific call meant to attract.

Charlotte stepped forward slightly, studying the bird. "Okay...but now that the bird’s come, how are we going to catch it? I mean, technically we could just run up with a knife and pin it, it’s just standing there watching."

Mika stepped forward beside Charlotte and calmly raised his hand.

"There’s no need for knives, blades, or blessings, Charlotte. Like I said earlier..." He murmured, his voice a little unsteady as he flashed a sheepish smile, almost as if embarrassed at the simplicity of it. "...the second audio track...it’s more than enough. Think of it like a secret weapon."

He then turned to Yelena with that same faint smile, his tone soft but certain as he said.

"Play the second one, Yelena. Just once...That should be enough to finish off the colorful chicken standing in front of you."

Yelena blinked, her gaze darting between him and the bird, clearly doubtful, but also incredibly curious.

’Finish it off with a sound?’ She frowned. ’Was the audio laced with some kind of mana, maybe? Some kind of sonic weapon, perhaps? Some arcane frequency that would pierce the target like a blade?’

But then again, he had said there was no mana involved, no blessings, no enchantments...Nothing.

And if there was one thing she knew for sure...Mika didn’t lie to her. Not about something like this.

So with zero clue in her head and a mountain of skepticism building behind her eyes, Yelena slowly reached out and tapped the screen.

A soft click, and the second track began to play.

Screech! Screech! Screech!

This time, the sound that came out was very different from the first one.

Not loud. Not shrill. It was...almost elegant.

Gentle. Cold. Like someone whispering cruel truths in a beautiful voice. It didn’t sound threatening, it sounded like heartbreak. It made the air feel thinner.

And the bird, until now calmly perched next to Yelena, feathers shimmering in the light, suddenly froze.

Its eyes widened instantly, round and glassy, as though the sound had just pierced through some invisible barrier.

It didn’t move. Not even to breathe.

Yelena raised her brow slowly. "What in the world?"

She was just about to step forward, to reach out and give it a light touch, maybe wake it up or see if it was still conscious,

...And then it happened.

Right before her eyes, the colors in the bird’s feathers began to drain out. As though someone was pulling the pigment from its very soul.

The vibrant hues melted into dullness, the bright patches turned to washed-out grey, until the entire body looked like a desaturated version of itself.

And then, its wide eyes slowly shut.

Its legs gave out a moment later.

And finally, with an eerie grace, the bird collapsed at her feet, dead.

Yelena just stared, mouth parted slightly, completely baffled. ’It had...died. From that?’

"No way..." Charlotte also gasped, walking right over and crouching beside it. She poked the body lightly, then placed her hand near its beak, checking for breath. "It’s dead. It’s actually dead."

She then turned toward Mika, still stunned.

"You actually killed it with a soundtrack? Are you serious?! How?!"

Even Yelena was now looking at him, brows furrowed. Her gaze was sharp, demanding answers.

Seeing their gazes, Mika scratched the back of his head awkwardly, walking over to them.

"Well, technically, I didn’t kill it."

Both women stared harder.

"I just...forced it to kill itself."

Charlotte blinked. "What?"

Yelena’s brows shot up. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Mika grinned slightly, raising both hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, let me explain before you start throwing rocks at me."

He took a breath, looking half amused and half proud.

"So, last year, I ended up visiting this...realm. A bird infested realm, if you wanna call it that. You know how some places are dominated by elemental creatures or a certain magic beasts? This one was all birds. Nothing but birds."

Charlotte’s brow rose. "Why were you in a realm of birds?"

"Don’t worry about it." Mika said quickly, waving his hand dismissively. "It was for research. Or curiosity. Doesn’t matter. Small detail."

Yelena folded her arms. "Uh-huh."

Mika continued. "Anyway, while I was there, I spent a few days observing. Watching different species. Their behaviors. Calls. Mating rituals. Stuff like that. Basically tried learning their language. Or at least how to mimic their sounds."

"And that helped you kill one?" Charlotte asked, confused.

"Let me finish!" He said, holding up a finger. "So, while I was there, I came across this particular species. This one. Right here. This...suicidal little idiot."

He pointed down at the bird.

"I like to call it the ’suicide pact bird.’ Sounds dramatic, but trust me, it fits."

"See, this bird’s kinda romantic. Really emotional. Thinks mating is, like, the single most important thing in the world. Especially the males. They don’t just chase after the females randomly. They get attached. Deeply attached."

Yelena blinked slowly. "Okay...?"

"And so, when a female bird makes a mating call, it’s a big deal. If a male hears it, he thinks it’s destiny or something and rushes over hoping to win her favor."

"Now, usually, if the female isn’t interested, she’ll just stay silent or give a rejection sound. And the male, disappointed, walks away."

Charlotte nodded. "Yeah, that sounds normal."

Mika held up another finger. "But this species has...a third option."

Both of them leaned in slightly.

He grinned. "If the female’s not just uninterested but deeply offended, like, ’how dare you even show your face, you’re ugly and disgusting’ levels of offended, she lets out a particular cry."

"Not aggressive. Not violent. Just...cold. Like she’s looking him straight in the eye and saying, ’Go die.’"

He shrugged. "And the male? He takes it literally."

Charlotte’s mouth opened slightly. "No way..."

"Yup." Mika nodded. "He gets so devastated, like existentially destroyed, that all the color fades from his feathers. His soul shatters. And he just...dies. Right there."

Charlotte blinked. "Wait... are you saying that bird just died from the depression of being rejected?"

Mika nodded solemnly. "Yup. That’s basically it. He couldn’t handle the emotional damage. His tiny bird life shattered. Boom. Gone. Instant death."

Hearing that, Charlotte’s face twisted in absolute disbelief. She stared at the fallen bird for a long second, then scowled deeply.

"What a pathetic bird." She muttered, folding her arms and glaring down at it with utter contempt.

Mika raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I mean seriously." Charlotte said with increasing venom. "What kind of idiot bird dies from something like that? One rejection and it just falls apart? That’s the weakest, most embarrassing thing I’ve ever heard. Are you kidding me?"

"Charlotte..." Mika began carefully, but she cut him off.

"No, I’m serious." She snapped, gesturing angrily at the feathered corpse. "It’s not even remotely impressive. That’s just embarrassing. It shouldn’t even exist if that’s all it takes to break it. I can’t believe it had the audacity to be born with such little emotional tolerance!"

Mika stared at her in disbelief, mouth slightly ajar. "Okay, okay, I think you’re going a little too far—"

But she wasn’t finished.

"And you’re calling it a hopeless romantic?" she barked, jabbing a finger toward him. "I’m a hopeless romantic!"

He blinked. "What?"

"Yeah!" She declared, pointing at herself now. "I’ve been chasing you for years, Mika! Years! You think I haven’t gotten rejected? Huh?! How many times have you turned me down already?"

Mika looked away awkwardly. "...A few..."

"Exactly!" She yelled, eyes narrowing as a slight smirk twisted her lips. "You reject me all the time. But do I die? Do I collapse in a heap and just give up on life?"

"...No." He admitted, glancing back at her, lips twitching.

"Damn right I don’t!" she said triumphantly. "I keep going! I keep asking you out! I keep being annoying and persistent and lovable, because that’s what a real hopeless romantic does."

"I don’t give up just because I’m told no once, or twice, or a thousand times! I press on! Because that’s what love is! Commitment! Endurance! Delusion!"

Yelena quietly snorted behind her hand, trying not to laugh.

Charlotte, on the other hand, wasn’t done venting. She turned her seething gaze back to the bird.

"But this thing? This dumbass bird right here? He gets one ’no’ and immediately kills himself? Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic."

"...I mean, how does a species even evolve to be that emotionally unstable? What a disgrace to romantics everywhere!"

Then, with a loud "tsk" she gave the bird’s feathered side a swift, irritated kick, not hard enough to send it flying, but firm enough to show just how disappointed she was.

Mika immediately darted forward and grabbed her arm.

"Alright, alright! That’s enough! I get you’re angry, but let’s not go around desecrating the dead, okay?"

He said, tugging her away from the bird’s body and wrapping an arm around her to hold her in place before she could land another attack.

"Jeez, this is why people say you’re scary..."

Charlotte huffed and tried to squirm free, but Mika held her firm, still half-laughing as he looked over at Yelena with a smug grin.

"So..." He said cheekily. "Does this count? Was this also against the rules? Or is driving a bird into romantic despair with a sound recording within the acceptable bounds of competition?"

He raised an eyebrow at her, eyes sparkling with sarcasm, waiting. Daring her to say something. Like he was itching for her to come up with another rule so he could break that one too.

But this time...Yelena just sighed.

She dropped her arms to her side and shook her head, letting out a long exhale through her nose.

"...I’ve got nothing to say this time."

Mika’s smile widened.

"You win." She muttered, crossing her arms in defeat and looking away. "Fair and square."

"Oh?" He said, drawing it out, smugness practically radiating off him.

"What else can I say?" Yelena snapped, glaring at him now, but more embarrassed than angry. "You made a bird kill itself with a phone. A literal suicide by mating call. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t impressed."

Mika beamed.

"And it’s not like I didn’t want to argue with that look on your face..." She grumbled, narrowing her eyes as she looked him up and down. "...but even I have to admit, that was...kind of amazing. And also completely ridiculous. And awful. And clever...Ugh."

She rolled her eyes again, annoyed at herself for even smiling, but unable to hide the corner of her lips curling up.

Mika only grinned wider, basking in the moment.

"Gotta say, it’s pretty satisfying to make you admit defeat. You, of all people."

"Don’t push it." Yelena warned, eyes narrowing further.

"I mean..." Mika raised his hands in mock surrender "This is you we’re talking about. One of the women who saved the world. The one who defeated the Eternal Queen. And yet..."

He gestured to himself dramatically.

"You couldn’t beat me."

Yelena let out an exasperated groan. "You little—"

"That’s twice in one day." He added with a victorious gleam. "I mean, you managed to defeat a world ending catastrophe, but you couldn’t defeat me."

"...That’s pretty good on my part don’t you think."

Hearing him boast, she glared at him silently. But she didn’t strike back. She ouldn’t because unfortunately, he was right.

And the worst part? That smug, cocky smile on his face just kept growing, and somehow, she couldn’t even be mad at it.

No, she couldn’t stay mad at him at all.

Instead, she found herself smiling, slow and proud, the corners of her lips curling despite herself.

Because even though he had once again defeated her so easily, it was him, the same beloved boy she had taken care of, raised, and watched stumble his way through life, that had done it.

It felt less like she had lost and more like she had witnessed her child outgrow her for the first time. Not with resentment, but with pride.

Like a parent finally watching their child stand taller, not because they pushed them down, but because they taught them how to climb.

And seeing how much he had grown...how confident he had become, it warmed something deep inside her.

She said nothing, only smiled more as he turned to hug her daughter tightly, pulling her away from picking another fight with a dead bird, and she couldn’t help but laugh.

Yes, she’d been bested again. But somehow, that just made her prouder than ever...