CHAPTER 426: CHAPTER 299: OIL POT

"Beloved husband, the key to the Benevolent and Righteous Technique lies in envisioning one’s own home, making the body feel heavy and solid."

Thinking of home, making the body become heavy and solid. This associative process was a bit complicated.

The Phonograph adjusted the angle of the firelight, projecting a photo of a large mansion onto the wall.

"A top-quality mansion is solid and sturdy. It provides shelter from wind and rain under normal circumstances and is defensible against external enemies during warfare. Regardless of dragon’s lairs or tiger’s dens, or even mountains of knives or seas of fire, all dangers are kept beyond the walls. As long as one is within the abode, the Home Cultivator will fear nothing."

Li Banfeng felt this very deeply. For a Home Cultivator, as long as they were in their own house, they wouldn’t be scared even if they were to roam the universe.

The Phonograph continued, "Beloved husband, you must imagine yourself as your mansion, gathering all of its solidity and heaviness into your body, making yourself indestructible."

The process was understandable, but it was challenging for Li Banfeng. He couldn’t imagine his own mansion; he had never seen the entirety of the Portable Residence.

What should he do?

Ignore the true form of the Portable Residence, only visualize a strong and sturdy mansion!

Li Banfeng tried twice, but his body didn’t undergo any change.

The Phonograph reminded him, "Beloved husband, you must think of our house; envisioning other houses is useless."

It indeed had to be his own house.

Imagine a steam train?

Well, a steam train is also quite sturdy.

Li Banfeng tried a few times and indeed felt some changes in his body, as if a layer of heavy iron armor had been draped over him.

This time it must be successful. With this suit of iron armor, his defense significantly increased.

Li Banfeng tried a few times and felt very proficient in using the technique.

"Beloved wife, I’ve learned enough. I’m off to buy groceries," Li Banfeng said as he was about to leave, but was blocked by steam.

"Beloved husband, don’t rush. Allow your servant to try first."

Trying it out sounded good.

Li Banfeng tried to anticipate the trajectory of the Phonograph’s needle attack. Having spent much time together, Li Banfeng had a good understanding of his wife’s combat habits. Plus, this was a sparring match between husband and wife; she surely wouldn’t hit hard. He needn’t worry about vital areas, as she would likely aim for a less critical spot to poke...

WHOOSH!

His wife blasted him with steam, scalding him red all over.

"Ah, beloved husband, your servant only used a fraction of my strength, and you couldn’t block it. You didn’t use the technique effectively at all," she said.

Li Banfeng pondered for a long while and said, "I thought you were going to prick me with the phonograph needle, not scald me with steam."

The Phonograph chuckled, "Ah, beloved husband, are you still not convinced? Your servant spoke of a life-and-death strike; I never said I had to use a sharp weapon."

Li Banfeng tickled the Phonograph under its arm, "My beloved wife, you’ve learned to be naughty."

The Phonograph giggled for a while, "Beloved husband, stop it and learn the technique properly first."

His wife had a point; in the midst of battle, one couldn’t predict what methods the opponent would employ. Being merely hard wasn’t enough; one must be fireproof, resist high temperatures, be corrosion-resistant...all aspects must be considered.

Li Banfeng calmed his mind, pondering every detail for over half an hour, then said to the Phonograph, "I’m ready this time, beloved wife. Go ahead."

The Phonograph nodded, "Beloved husband, your stance isn’t bad, and the technique has been utilized, but it may not be of any use."

Li Banfeng couldn’t understand, "If it has been utilized, how can it be of no use?"

"Ah, beloved husband, let your servant make an analogy," the Phonograph cleared its throat, and with a sudden clash of gongs and drums, began to sing, "Majestic righteousness soaring to the heavens, startling the twinkling coldness of the stars!"

A scene from the Beijing Opera "Battle of Red Cliffs," titled "Heroic Farewell."

Li Banfeng fell to the ground with a thud.

Indeed, the technique hadn’t been of any use. Li Banfeng had forgotten to soundproof the area.

This rendition of "Heroic Farewell" was so powerful that it made Li Banfeng’s whole body tremble, cold sweat pouring down him. If his wife had exerted just a little more force, Li Banfeng’s ears would have been completely deafened.

After calming down, Li Banfeng, still panting, said, "Let’s try again!"

"Ah, beloved husband, we cannot go again today. Try to use your will; I’m afraid you’re already out of strength," the Phonograph replied.

Once again, Li Banfeng imagined himself as a steam train, but this time his body did not respond.

"The Benevolent and Righteous Technique can only be used once a day. Beloved husband, you couldn’t activate it the first time, and barely managed the second. Don’t even think about using it again before tomorrow," the Phonograph explained.

Li Banfeng was not willing to give up. Looking at the Phonograph, he said, "Beloved wife, you know me; two or three times, that’s nothing to me."

The Phonograph laughed, "Beloved husband, don’t push yourself too hard; rest for now."

She said I was just trying to act tough...

In his anger, Li Banfeng took out the Oil Pot.

The Phonograph trembled, "Ah, beloved husband, my dearest husband, your servant intended no sarcasm! I truly want you to rest. It was my loose tongue; I admit I was wrong, isn’t that enough? Husband, be gentle, ah, husband, please aim carefully..."

His wife’s voice was muffled.

Hong Ying sneered coldly, "That madman has gone to the wrong place again; die in pain, you wicked woman!"

***

At the Hundred Joy Gate, in the center of the grand dance floor, Lu Dongtang, the eldest son of Lu Maoxian, held a cup of tea with both hands, presenting it to Lu Chunying in full view of the entire Lu Family, young and old.

Lu Maoxian’s vengeance had been achieved by the main family’s daughter, Lu Chunying. As per the Lu Family’s rules, Lu Maoxian was to offer tea as a sign of gratitude. Claiming his injuries had not yet healed and he was unable to get out of bed, Lu Maoxian sent his eldest son Lu Dongtang to present the tea on his behalf, and Lu Chunying graciously accepted.

The event today was grand, with many people in attendance, including the Lady of the main family, Duan Shaoxia.

Lu Chunying took the tea bowl from Lu Dongtang’s hand, took a sip, and set it aside. She stared at Lu Dongtang for a moment, then had someone bring another cup of tea.

"You are my elder, Uncle Dongtang. I offer this cup of tea to you," Lu Chunying extended the teacup to Lu Dongtang.

There was no need for Lu Chunying to reciprocate the gesture, but this was arranged by Monkey Qiu to demonstrate the main family daughter’s magnanimity.

Lu Dongtang’s face was livid; he drank the tea and returned to his seat. No matter how uncomfortable he felt, he had to remain seated. He wasn’t the only one feeling discomfort; his entire family shared his distress. Lu Yuanju, Lu Dongtang’s young daughter, was grinding her teeth in irritation.

She was slightly older than Lu Chunying. When she learned that her father was to offer tea to a young girl in thanks, Lu Yuanju was so infuriated she spent the entire night unable to sleep.

She had long prepared herself for revenge. Although she had not yet completed Entering the Path Gateway, she knew many of the Taoist Sect’s rules. She was aware that ordinary people who attempted Dual Cultivation of three Taoist Sects would undoubtedly meet their demise. From this characteristic, she conceived a clever plan to deal with Lu Chunying: she prepared three types of medicinal powder and planned to wait until the banquet dispersed to sprinkle them all on Lu Chunying!

By seniority, I am her older sister; she will definitely not suspect me, she thought. Afterward, I will just say that I was looking to Enter the Path Gateway, hadn’t chosen the right medicinal powder yet, and accidentally spilled it on that girl.

Lu Yuanju looked at Lu Dongtang’s expression and secretly clenched her fists.

Father! Don’t be sad! I will bear the crime of offending the main family for you! Let’s see what the main family can do to me!

Two hours later, the banquet ended. Lu Chunying was still exchanging pleasantries with various relatives of the Lu Family.

"Miss Chunying, I really admire you. We waited all night and didn’t even see a person, and you managed to take care of it as soon as you made a move!"

Lu Chunying humbly smiled, "I’m still young, and my cultivation level is limited; I’m entirely reliant on the efforts of you seniors."

Modest and unassuming, and subtly expressing the foundation she had behind her, the measure of Lu Chunying’s words left Monkey Qiu very satisfied.

The crowd agreed one after another, "Miss Chunying is both courageous and resourceful, and so magnanimous too. In the future, if there’s anything you need, just give the order, and our whole family will follow the main family’s command."

Having left the Hundred Joy Gate, carriages were ready outside. Just as Lu Chunying was about to get on one, she suddenly heard someone call from behind, "Sister Chunying, wait a moment, I have something for you."

Lu Chunying turned around and saw it was Lu Yuanju. "Sister Yuanju, what is it?"

Lu Yuanju reached into her bag, "A friend brought back a necklace from the Outside Provinces, which is said to be of decent craftsmanship. There were two in total, and I’m giving one to you."

"Really!" Lu Chunying’s eyes widened as she looked towards Lu Yuanju’s bag, her right hand quietly pulling out the folding fan from her waist.

Lu Yuanju grabbed the three bags of medicinal powder, tore them open suddenly, and scattered the powder towards Lu Chunying.

Lu Chunying was prepared; she tapped her toes on the ground and retreated several steps, avoiding the medicinal powder. She opened her folding fan and waved it back and forth at Lu Yuanju.

All three types of medicinal powder drifted onto Lu Yuanju’s face, causing her such pain that she rolled on the ground.

Monkey Qiu protected Lu Chunying behind him, and Tan Fucheng watched Lu Yuanju in shock, lowering his voice to ask, "What kind of medicinal powder did she scatter?"

Monkey Qiu was also shocked. "Seems like it’s Entry Medicine."

Tan Fucheng didn’t understand. "Why would she scatter that?"

Monkey Qiu couldn’t figure it out, while Lu Chunying said, "She probably wanted me to get doused with several types of medicinal powder and then tried to kill me."

Tan Fucheng frowned, "Whose terrible idea was this? She’s a White Lamb without any cultivation level, and she thinks she can throw medicinal powder on a Cultivator? If she really had the ability to sprinkle medicinal powder on someone, wouldn’t throwing two pounds of poison be even better?"

Lu Dongtang came rushing out and saw his daughter covered in medicinal powder. He quickly ordered someone to call for a doctor. The doctor took a look at Lu Yuanju and was reluctant to touch her; the medicinal powder was very painful if it stuck to the hands.

Lu Chunying asked Tan Fucheng, "Big Brother Tan, is she now attempting Dual Cultivation from three different Taoist Sects?"

Tan Fucheng laughed, "Dual Cultivation my ass! Does she have the foundation for it? She doesn’t even have the foundation for one Taoist Sect, so what use would the medicinal powder be?"

Seeing that Lu Yuanju was not struggling as much, Lu Chunying asked, "She’s not going to die, is she?"

Tan Fucheng shook his head, "Hard to say. Entry Medicine is harmful to the body. Three types of medicinal powder like this would cause serious injury. If she had the cultivation level of the First Layer, she should be able to survive. However, since she hasn’t been initiated and has applied so much medicinal powder, she’ll end up crippled if she doesn’t die. What was she really thinking?"

Lu Dongtang ordered people to carry Lu Yuanju away, and Duan Shaoxia walked over from the Hundred Joy Gate.

"Chunying, you handled today’s matter with dignity, bringing honor to Dongliang." Duan Shaoxia praised Lu Chunying repeatedly, her eyes full of affection.

Lu Chunying quickly performed a courtesy, "Thank you for your praise, Lady."

Duan Shaoxia smiled, "Such a sensible child. Zhiheng, don’t let Chunying stay outside; let her move back in with the family."

Qiu Zhiheng looked at Lu Chunying but didn’t speak.

Lu Chunying again performed a courtesy toward Duan Shaoxia, "Lady, I am currently accelerating my cultivation. As for moving, please allow me some more time."

Neither confirming nor declining. The measure of her response was just right.

Duan Shaoxia nodded repeatedly, still full of nothing but praise for Lu Chunying. Unseen by others, a blood vessel throbbed in her eye.

Lu Chunying had not raised her head the whole time; she never looked directly into Duan Shaoxia’s eyes.

***

Li Banfeng sat in his Portable Residence, his mood less than cheerful. He had sparred with his beloved wife for two full days and had never won a single match.

The Phonograph sighed, "Beloved husband, maybe we should stop competing. The Benevolent and Righteous Technique needs time to be refined."

Indeed, it needed refinement. His beloved wife’s methods of attack were varied and numerous, always something Li Banfeng didn’t anticipate.

Finally, there was one time Li Banfeng thought he had considered nearly everything, but he still wasn’t ready and ended up scalded red all over by a blast of steam from his beloved wife.

"Beloved husband, in a battle, life and death are determined in an instant. If your preparations take an hour or more, I’m afraid that won’t work," the Phonograph said.

Li Banfeng looked at the Phonograph and smiled.

The Phonograph shuddered, thinking Li Banfeng was about to apply more oil.

Li Banfeng didn’t apply any oil; he wanted to go out for a walk. Having stayed at home for two days, he was falling behind in his cultivation as a Traveling Cultivator. Moreover, Li Banfeng also wanted to go out to capture some material to prepare for the next time he used the Projector.

The Phonograph broke out in a cold sweat while Hong Ying laughed from the side, "Never thought this madman would spare you. Yet last night while sleeping, I could still hear him calling for ’Oil Pot, Oil Pot!’"

Li Banfeng stepped out the door and took one step forward, only to suddenly sink into a greasy, bottomless abyss.

Greasy...

What’s so greasy?

Is this... oil?

An immense amount of grease kept surging towards his mouth, nose, and eyes.

Did I fall into an oil pot?

Li Banfeng kicked his legs vigorously, swimming upwards through the grease until he reached the surface.

He looked around. There was land, a shoreline, and a small island.

This wasn’t an oil pot; this was a lake, a lake made entirely of oil.

How did I end up here?

PS: Did the Portable Residence misunderstand something?

Thank you to Alliance Hierarch ★ Midnight More, and thank you for the strong support for Shala.