CHAPTER 180: HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANYA_VALE

Jax’s chest felt tight as he walked into his bedroom. His whole body buzzed like a live wire that had just brushed water.

God, what was she doing to him?

He rubbed his face, paced once, then reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Without thinking twice he dialed Alex’s line.

The phone rang once. Twice.

Then Alex’s groggy voice came through the line. "Jax? Everything alright? Why are you calling in the middle of the night?" Alex asked, his voice immediately alert.

Jax swore under his breath when he realized he had not considered the time difference. "Shit. Time zones. You’re probably still asleep. Hey. Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. You can call me when you’re up."

Alex let out a low chuckle. "I am up now thanks to you. Since you clearly forgot about the time difference and called anyway, I’m guessing it’s important. So talk to me."

Jax sat on the edge of his bed, pressing the heel of his palm into his forehead. "It’s your daughter," he muttered.

There was a beat of silence. Then a snort. "From your tone I’m guessing she’s not in any form of danger. You’re the one in danger." Alex laughed. "Oh boy."

"It’s not funny," Jax snapped, but there was no real heat in his voice. "She’s driving me insane, Alex."

"I’m sure she is," Alex said with a trace of amusement.

Jax shook his head. "You don’t get it. The only reason I’m holding back right now is because of the situation—— because of you. Because of your trust in me. If this were any other circumstance, if things were normal..." He trailed off and exhaled harshly.

"...You’d go for it," Alex finished quietly.

"Yes. I wouldn’t hold back."

Alex was quiet for a long moment. Then he sighed. "Do you think the feeling’s mutual?"

Jax hesitated. "I don’t know. Sometimes, I want to think maybe. Other times, I can’t tell what she wants from me."

"Then why don’t you find out?" Alex suggested.

"She’s your daughter..."

"Do you think I need you to remind me that of that?" Alex asked, amused.

"I promised you I wouldn’t lay a finger on her," Jax reminded him.

Alex sighed, "You’re both adults. She is my daughter but I’m going to try not to think about it. I know you and I trust you. So, if you feel this strongly about her, maybe you should find out if it’s mutual and then decide on what you want to do," he advised.

"I think she should first know the truth about why she’s here," Jax said, staring at the floor. "I don’t want to take advantage of the situation. I don’t want it to be some messed-up case where she thinks she’s in love with her captor or something she is doing because she just wants to get on my nerve and escape."

Alex let out a low grunt of agreement. "Fair. You’re thinking straight. I respect that. And I appreciate you looking out for her, even now."

Jax leaned back, resting against the wall. "You said you were going to tell her everything soon, right?"

"Yeah," Alex replied. "Her birthday’s in three days. I was planning to call her then to wish her happy birthday and tell her the truth."

"Alright," Jax murmured.

There was a brief pause before he added, "What’s the situation with the cartel?"

"We’re handling it. Tensions are still high, but things are moving in our favor."

"Good." Jax raked a hand through his hair. "Chad’s here. He got in earlier today."

"How’s he doing?"

"He’s fine. He was cool with Mari. Tried to trick her into believing he was me."

Alex chuckled. "I miss that little shit."

"Yeah, well. I missed him too but now that he’s here I’m afraid he is going to be a pain," Jax said and Alex laughed.

Jax paused, then added, "Sorry again for disturbing your sleep."

Before Alex could respond, another sleepy voice cut through the line. "Who’re you talking to?" Andy’s voice was thick with sleep.

"It’s Jax," Alex said.

There was a rustle on the other end of the line, then Andy’s voice came closer. "Put him on speaker."

A moment later, Jax heard Andy more clearly. "Hey, darling. How’s my doll doing?"

Jax rolled his eyes. "Doing a great job frustrating the hell out of me."

Andy laughed. "Maybe you wouldn’t be so frustrated if you just went along with the flow."

"That’s the problem," Jax muttered. "I can’t just go along with the flow. If we cross a line and regret it, there’s no going back. We’re stuck in the same house. Every day until you come get her."

Andy’s voice was dry. "And wouldn’t that give you more of a chance to work things out? You’d rather send anonymous paintings to her year in year out than actually do something about how you feel?"

"You knew about it?" Jax asked, surprised.

Andy laughed. "Of course we knew. Do you think we’d let our baby girl receive gifts from a source we don’t know? We are familiar with your work so we knew it was from you. We only chose not to tell her who the artist was. Why do you think we sent her to you?"

"Because we trust him? Is there another reason?" Jax heard Alex ask Andy.

Andy laughed, "Yeah. We trust him to protect her in every way. Her heart inclusive."

"Did you suggest Jax because you knew he had feelings for Mari?" Alex asked his wife suspiciously.

"I didn’t know he had feelings for her. I only suspected it. And we both love Jax, right? If things were to go wrong and something happened to us, I’d like to know that Mari is with someone we trust. Someone as handsome as Jax," Andy said, and Alex stared at her in amused disbelief.

Jax huffed a laugh. "So you’re telling me you’re giving me permission to court your crazy daughter?"

Andy laughed louder this time. "Court? Darling, you sound like an old-school gentleman. I’m saying you should go with the flow instead of being so frustrated and..."

"Wait, are you giving him permission to have sex with my daughter?"

Andy snorted. "Our daughter, you mean? At least he’s asking for permission. Who did you ask before having sex with me, huh?"

Alex groaned. "You’re seriously asking me that? Do I need to remind you that..."

Jax cut in quickly. "Okay, I’m officially done with this conversation. I don’t want to hear about how either of you had sex. Thanks for the permission. You can both go back to bed." He hung up without waiting for a response.

Shaking his head, he tossed the phone onto his bed and wandered into his studio.

The quiet in there was different from the quiet in his room. This one was calming. He loved the familiar smell of paint, wood and varnish that always hung in the air.

He picked up his most recent sketchbook and opened it. The first painting on the sketchbook was of Mari posed on her bed with fists raised, ready to fight him the first time she arrived.

He smiled, remembering how she had said he was her type. The crazy girl, he thought with a chuckle as he began flipping through the sketchbook.

Page after page. Each painting of Mari stared back at him. Her smile, her frown, the way her hair fell across her cheek, the tilt of her head when she was being bratty.

His heart beat faster as he gazed at her pictures. He could still hear her voice echoing in his head and feel her touch on his skin.

He paused on the most recent one— the one he had painted last night of her sitting by the island in the kitchen waiting for him.

Since she arrived he had been painting portraits of her more often than usual. She was constantly in his head and the only way to let it out and clear his head was by painting.

As he gazed down at the painting, his thoughts drifted to their conversation a moment ago.

If only she knew he was the secret admirer she had been bragging about.

What would she do when she realized he’d been the one behind the paintings? That every brushstroke was him loving her from afar?

He chuckled softly as he imagined her reaction. A gasp. Maybe her sexy throaty laugh. Or maybe she’d look at him with that soft, wide-eyed wonder she had when something moved her.

Would she smile? Cry? Would she be mad?

He snorted when he remembered her calling the mystery painter a coward.

"Coward, huh?" he murmured under his breath, smiling faintly.

Maybe she was right. Maybe he was a coward for not wanting a repeat of what happened with Diva.

He stared at the page for a long moment and he thought about all that Alex and Andy had said.

He smirked as a wicked little plan began to form in his mind.

Maybe he didn’t need to make the first move after all. Maybe it was best he sit back and let her chase him.

He’d let her seduce him. Let her think she was in control and things was going as she wanted until she was sure of her feelings.

When her walls were down and he was sure of her feelings he’d tell her the truth, that he had loved her for a long time.

Until then, he’d let Mari be Mari, and go along with the flow as Andy had advised.