CHAPTER 291: FORGIVE ME

Emily, who was watching Ryan, frowned when she saw the pained expression on his face as he read through Callan’s message.

Her heart raced as she rose, wondering what Callan could have sent to make Ryan suddenly look so ashen.

Worry flickered in her eyes. "What’s wrong?" she asked cautiously as she approached him, but Mack stepped on her path to block her.

Ryan lifted his head, his face pale, and he waved to Mack to get out of her way.

His voice cracked as he raised the phone to her so she would read Cal’s text. "Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you lie? Why didn’t you tell me he already knew I was his father?"

Emily’s heart skipped a beat as she read through it. Even though she was scared, she refused to let it show on her face as she looked up at Ryan again.

"What difference would it have made if I told you? What would you have done differently in the last thirty-six hours? Would it have stopped you from releasing that video? From seizing my phone? From threatening to kill me? You knew I was close to him, yet you did all you did. So, I don’t know why you think I owe you the truth when you’ve been lying to me yourself. And to tell you the truth, I’m disappointed in you. When we spoke at the hospital I wanted desperately to believe that you weren’t as bad as thought and I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt as Callan’s father. But after what you’ve done in the last hours since we got on the plane, I’ve come to realize you’re exactly all I’ve heard about. You can kill me if you want to," Emily said, and Ryan shut his eyes.

He suddenly felt very ashamed. He had never felt so small as he did at the moment being rebuked by Emily this way after reading Callan’s text.

Ryan’s voice shook. "How did he find out? How long has he known?"

Emily crossed her arms in front of her. "I’m not in a position to answer that. Ask Callan when you see him. I’m not interested in talking to you after the way you threatened me. I’ll take care of your health, but that’s as far as I’m willing to go."

Ryan sat there, his head bowed, not sure what to say or do. He seemed to have ruined his chances with Callan himself. It wasn’t a matter of what he had done in the past now. It was about what he had done right there in the plane.

He had a feeling that if Emily so much as gave Callan negative feedback about him, he’d never get the chance to see Callan.

Emily held out her hand. "Do you still want to keep my phone? Or can I have it now?"

Ryan stared at her, then slowly handed it over. His voice was low, defeated. "You can take it."

Emily took her phone but before she could walk away, Ryan stopped her.

"Emily..." His voice broke. "I was wrong. I shouldn’t have threatened you that way. I was afraid that this could be a trap by the Hanks and the trip would be in vain. I was scared I would end up delivering myself to the Hanks without getting to see my son, and I acted foolishly. I’m sorry I threatened you and seized your phone." His eyes filled with tears that rolled down his cheeks. "Forgive me. Please help me. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t want to keep making mistakes that would push him away from me. What I fear more than death, is never getting to see my son."

Emily stood a few steps away, her arms still crossed, her face expressionless. She looked at him for a long moment before she spoke.

"Fine. I’ll only help you on one condition," she said, her voice firm. "And the only reason I’m considering it, is Callan."

"Thank you. What is your condition?" Ryan asked, grateful that she was at least considering it.

"You have to give me your word that you’ll change for real. Callan deserves a biological father he can be proud of. He needs peace. So, if you won’t take responsibility for your actions or fix all the mess you’ve created like a decent human being, then stay out of his life. He barely sleeps without pills or nightmares, and I won’t let you or anyone else add to his troubled life."

Ryan’s face twisted, pain clear in every line. "He... he can’t sleep? Why? What nightmares plague him?"

Emily’s eyes softened for a second, then dropped. "I don’t know. He never told me. But I think it’s from before he was adopted. My point is, he’s already having a hard time. Like I mentioned earlier, as his father you should be selfless enough to walk away if being in his life will cause him pain. So, if you know you can’t be the kind of father he can be proud of, I suggest you prove your love to him by turning this jet around and taking us back to Husla or you can return to Westend and leave him alone."

Ryan was silent for a long moment as though contemplating her words. When he spoke again, his voice was low, almost a whisper. "I have nothing to lose. My heart stopped beating a long time ago, and the only reason I lived this long was because I was trying to find answers. Now that I’ve gotten my answers, the only thing I want before I die... is to meet my son. I’ll do whatever it takes to have a chance at a relationship with him. So, you can feel free to tell me what you think I can do to make him feel less ashamed and disappointed."

Emily’s arms slowly fell to her sides. She studied him. Seeing how he now looked contrite and lost, she felt slightly relieved and hopeful.

At last, she moved closer and sat down across from him. "If you want Callan to give you even half a chance, you have to be totally honest with him and you also have to take responsibility for all you’ve done. No more excuses or games."

Ryan swallowed as he held Emily’s gaze. "I’ll do whatever Callan asks me to do. Can you please not mention to him that I threatened you or took your phone?" Ryan pleaded.

"Does that mean you’re not diverting to somewhere else anymore, and we will go to Ludus as planned?" Emily asked, and Ryan sighed deeply before giving her a nod.

"I’m putting my faith in you, Emily. Please help me out."

Away from there, Stefan shook his head in disbelief as he watched Genevieve who was standing outside his bedroom door.

They’d retired to their separate bedrooms after dinner over an hour ago, because Genevieve had said she needed some alone time to think about the events and revelations of the day.

"Are you sure about this? I thought you wanted us to stay until next week as planned because you couldn’t face anyone?" Stefan asked, unhappy that Genevieve wanted them to leave for Ludus.

"I wanted to, but I don’t think it is right. I thought about it and I don’t think it’s okay for me to be here hiding away this way right now. It doesn’t tell well of me. I should be out there groveling and begging the Hanks for their forgiveness. I should be doing my best to make it up to Dawn. It’s not okay to go on living here with you like nothing happened. Besides, Abigail said my Dad will be in Ludus soon and she plans to go see him with Callan. If we leave within the next hour then maybe we can get there in time for me to meet them and join them. I’d like to see him and ask him some questions," Genevieve said, and Stefan stared at her in silence for a moment.

"I’m not sure we can leave now. I asked the pilot to come back next week..."

"I figured that out, so I checked for planes leaving for Ludus and one is leaving in three hours," Genevieve cut in.

"Checked with what? I have your phone, remember?" Stefan said, and she gave him a pointed look.

"I have my laptop and the resort does have a free WiFi," she easily explained.

"Shit! Why didn’t I think of that?" He asked, and a smile tugged at her lips.

"Please, Stefan. We can always come here another time. But I feel like there’s a huge stone in the pit of my stomach, and my heart keeps fluttering nervously. I want to face all of this squarely so that I can truly be at ease," she said, and he sighed.

"Alright. Pack your bag. I’ll make the necessary arrangements for our flight while I pack my stuff," he promised, and she stepped forward and embraced him.

"Thanks," she said, kissing his cheek before stepping back and huffing away.

Two hours, forty minutes later, they were both seated on the plane, on their way to Ludus.