Chapter Six - Invisible Cougars in Your Area

"DANIEL

(rolling eyes)

Philosophy is important, Ma. It helps us understand the world.

MRS. CALLAWAY

(scoffs, adjusting the settings on the printer)

Philosophy? Sweetheart, philosophy can''t fill your plate. You gonna eat thoughts and prayers?

- CANNED LAUGH TRACK -

MRS. CALLAWAY

(shaking head)

No, no, sweetheart. What you need is a solid education in something grounded. Something you can use. Like this handy 3D food printer, by Ceglia!"

--Excerpt from Callaway''s Bunch, AI-generated prime-time drip feed media, 2035

***

Delilah had gone on about... ignorance or some such the night before. It was a lot and she was pretty excited about it, in her own little Delilah way.

Anyway, it was very smart and very philosophical, and I think I forgot about half of it by the time I woke up, and most of the rest slipped by me when I saw Lucy in a short shirt and thigh highs--with the little gap--but some small bits kinda stuck, like shit in a bowl. It was gonna take more than a flush to completely erase what she''d said.

I had the impression that Delilah wouldn''t have been happy about that analogy.

"Are you smiling that much because you''re excited, or is it something else?" Lucy asked

"Just thinking about something Delilah said," I replied with a dismissive wave. I wasn''t about to explain that joke to Lucy. "Thought it fit this whole situation well?"

Lucy did that cute thing where she tilted her head a smidge, like a curious puppy who didn''t quite get something. I just smiled, then slipped past her and deeper into the Bastion. I decided to exit out from one of the bays in the middle of the ship, just because. It was easier for the smaller cat drones that would keep an eye on Lucy to follow that way.

I think she knew about one of them, but not the other two.

Sure, one was probably enough, but what if someone suicidal made an actual attempt to hurt Lucy? All it would take is a group coming in from multiple angles for a single cat droid to not be enough.

So three it was. One was a bigger model, and two of them were the smaller dumbasses that I''d been using for a while. I wasn''t sure how many I''d bought this far, but there always seemed to be one around the house. It was only strange because I don''t think I''d ever bought one at our place, which begged the question of how they got home.

The girl next to him was a tall brunette with a dancer''s physique who wore the school uniform real well, though her skirt was at least a modest length compared to what Lucy had on.

"This is Ethan Parker, and Olivia Bennett," the Vice Principal said as he gestured to the boy and girl in turn. "They''re freshmen students, as you are, but both of them have been through most of their formative education right here at CIAL."

"A pleasure to meet you," Ethan said.

"Hello. Welcome to CIAL," Olivia added.

"Hi!" Lucy replied with a cute little wave. "It''s nice that you thought about that. I was worried I might get lost. The campus map looks pretty good, but the free trial version I found didn''t have everything. It''ll be great to have someone to guide me around. Um, since we''re going to different classes... who''s going with who?"

"Ah, yes, you want to know with whom you''re going. Miss Leblanc, you''ll be guided to your culinary courses by Mister Parker here. As for you, Miss Stray Cat, I hope you and Olivia get along on your way to your morning Tactics and Combat courses."

I shrugged a shoulder. "Yeah, sure," I said. We were... actually running a little late and should probably have arrived twenty minutes ago if we wanted to be there on time. "Let''s head out, then?" I asked.

"Yeah!" Lucy said.

I grinned, then bent down to give her cheek a rather chaste kiss. "Stay safe. If anyone gives you trouble, shoot them first and don''t let anyone ask questions."

She rolled her eyes, not noticing the VP''s constant smile turning nervous. "I''ll do my best. I can''t imagine culinary classes are that dangerous. Right Ethan?" The boy started at being addressed so suddenly. Then Lucy was flouncing along and he had to catch up. "So, did you grow up on campus or have you just been going here for like, elementary and high school? How''s it been treating you? Oh, and do you do any sports? You look like the sort."

And she was off. Unless the school chose real carefully, she''d have that moron eating out of her hand by the time they reached class and waiting on her hand and foot by the end of the week.

"Olivia, right?" I asked the girl. At her nod, I smiled back, then gave the VP a sloppy salute. "See you around, then."

"Have a good lesson," he replied.

Olivia returned my smile, then gestured to the side. "It''s right this way, Miss Stray Cat. May I call you that?"

"Sure," I said. "But just Cat''s fine too. It''s what everyone calls me," I said.

She nodded. "Thank you! Of course, call me Olivia! The Miss this, and Mister that, it''s all kind of formal. CIAL appreciates the opportunity to keep old traditions going, but it''s also a multicultural space, where students are free to express themselves and grow into their own."

"Uh-huh," I said, not letting my emotions show. "Tell me more."

"I''d love to! CIAL is one of the more prominent ivy-league establishments in the world, but it''s not just known for its educational and academic excellence, it''s a place for culture and art to flourish," Olivia continued.

"Wow," I said, flatly. "You know, I think once you graduate, some corp is gonna be real happy to have you."

If everyone here was like this chick, I was getting back in my ship and fucking right off.

***