Chapter Thirty-Five - The Cat, the Raccoon, and the Cowboy

Chapter Thirty-Five - The Cat, the Raccoon, and the Cowboy

"Staggering Number of Samurai Secretly Furries!"

--ClickBaitEm headline, 2034

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There was an awkward lull right after we said we''d get things done, and it was mostly my fault. The soldiers were looking to me to give them more directions. The other samurai were quickly growing impatient, even Tankette seemed a little antsy.

"Alright," I said. "I''m calling Grasshopper to get things started. The rest of you... do what you want, but stick around? We''ll have to secure the area quick-like." That seemed to please everyone and at least won me a few seconds. "Rac, go say hi to all the nice samurai." I pushed her forwards, earning a quick and dirty glare before I stepped back and made a call.

Grasshopper replied on the second ring. "This is Sue, how can I help you?"

I blinked. "Grasshopper?"

"Hello, Catherine," she said. "Is everything alright?"

"Uh, yeah, look, I''ve secured some help, and I''m in a room with, uh." I did a quick head count. "Five and a half other samurai, not including Gomorrah and Sam-O-Ray who aren''t around yet. We''re ready to kick things off here, but I need more details."

"Oh, wow, you work far faster than I expected. Gold star Cat!"

"Yeah, thank--" I paused as a small greenish box appeared on the table in front of me. It had little grasshoppers printed along the edge. "Did you really just send me that?" I asked. I didn''t even know samurai could send things this far out.

"You deserve it!" she said. "Now, what do you need from me?"

"We need the specifics for the gun emplacement. Got the army engineer here with me, and we''re ready to move, we just don''t know where to move to."

"I see. Do you mind if I contact the engineer directly?" she asked. "Or I could relay what I think we''ll need through you. It''s mostly about soil density and composition. We need a few specific things for the ideal location."

"Right. Myalis, can you grab Major Tinwhistle and fold her into the call?" I asked aloud while waving to the Major for her attention. She sat a little straighter and soon the line clicked and she was greeting Grasshopper.

I listened in as the two talked, and was very soon completely out of my depth. Grasshopper hadn''t been lying when she said she wanted to talk about soil composition. The Major and Grasshopper went on and on for a solid five minutes where all I did was stand there with my arms crossed, trying not to breathe hard enough for it to be caught in the call.

"Alright, thank you, Major. I''ll be down in about two hours. Catherine, I''ll see you soon!"

"Oh, yeah, see you soon," I said before the line went dead. The room had cleared out while we talked, Crackshot was the only samurai left, and he was mostly chatting to Rac about the various bits of his gun he was almost done reassembling. "Do we have a location, then?" I asked.

"You didn''t hear?" Major Tinwhistle asked. "In any case, yes. About five kilometres north and west of Saint-Je?rome. The new kid, Gros Baton, will be happy, it''s relatively close to his hometown."

"I guess so, can''t see why it wouldn''t be," I said.

For some reason, Crackshot seemed pretty happy with that answer. Didn''t know what that was all about, but more power to him.

"So, the world''s ending, eh?" he said as a sort of conversation starter.

"Not if we succeed," I said. "Call me an idiot, but I''m a bit of an optimist."

"Nah, never was one for optimism," he said. "But hey, this might be the kick in the ass I need. Will you be needing me right away?"

"We''ll be setting up a base camp until Grasshopper arrives. Got something that needs doing?"

"Yeah," he said with a serious nod. "If the world''s gonna end, then I''m gonna ask Miss Emoscythe Mordeath Noir out on a date."

I stared at him for a moment. "Alright, shit, you''re a braver person than I am."

"Yeah, but have you seen her? That is one fine woman."

"No arguments there," I said. "Shoot your shot my guy. If she beats the shit out of you after saying no, that''s on you though."

He sighed wistfully. "God, I wish."

O-kay. And here I was thinking that Crackshot was one of the more level-headed of the bunch. Well, it didn''t matter. "Need my bike or something to get into the city?"

"No, she wouldn''t appreciate it if I came around in something that wasn''t me. She puts a lot of weight on one''s self-image."

I nodded. My new-ish bounty-hunter look was her fault. Emoscythe really was keen on having a good image. I could see why he''d think it was important before asking her out.

We reached the exterior of the hospital where most of the others were lingering. "I''ll see you around, then," he said.

"Yeah, good luck."

"Good luck, Mister Cowboy," Rac said.

"That... is one brave idiot," I said before turning to head out towards the others.

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