Chapter Thirty-Six - Catkiller

    Chapter Thirty-Six - Catkiller

    Our weakness? You want me to just tell you what Samurai are weak against?

    Well, I suppose... awkwardness?

    --Guillotine, interview with Star-Spangled Monthly, 2029

    ***

    There were all sorts of things I could have handled. Katallina being angry at me. Her throwing a tantrum. Having her curse me out. All reactions Id seen from my kittens plenty of times. They were outlets to anger and sadness that I got. I could deal with snark, it was how I did emotions.

    Katallina looked at me, then her eyes got wet and she started to cry.

    I didnt do crying. Lucy did crying.Th.e? most uptodate novels are published on n(0)velbj)n(.)co/m

    If a kitten cried, it was Lucy that did the hugging and the shushing and all that junk.

    Ah, fuck, I said. Uh, shit, its okay, kid? I tried.

    Somehow that didnt work.

    I looked around, but other than her dog, there wasnt much to see. Shit, uh, look, youre safe, alright? I asked. Im gonna slip you, and your dog I guess, a mask, and we can both leave this place, okay?

    She bawled harder.

    Interesting.

    What? I asked.

    I started looking for catalogues that could improve maternal instincts or help people in emotional distress, but other than some drug cocktails I cant find anything very relevant. Its an oversight I dont think we were expecting. A complaint has been filed.

    Thats nice, I deadpanned. I reached up to run my hands through my hair, bumped my helmet, then groaned. Okay, okay. Hey, kid, you hear me?

    The girl nodded. She was ugly crying, and she was just old enough that it wasnt even passably cute.

    Okay, look, Ive got some questions, alright? I asked.

    Katallina snorted some and I sighed as I backed up.

    Myalis, can you connect me to Gomorrah?

    Certainly.

    Thanks, I said. Something pinged and I sighed again because I was in that sort of mood. Yo, G-girl, I said.

    I recall telling you not to call me that. Or some variation thereof, Gomorrah said.

    Yup. I recall not recalling that. So, uh, found the girl, and the dog. Neither are Vanguards. I... wait, Myalis, is the dog?

    No. The dog is not a Vanguard.

    Gomorrah hummed. Interesting. So, where is our wayward Samurai?

    Thats a question, isnt it? I muttered. I tapped on the glass of the chamber. Hey, kid, uh... shit, I dont know where to start. Look, were looking for someone, a Samurai. The one that gave you that gun you had. Do you know where they are?

    Hes dead, Katallina said. The monsters ate him.

    Uh, I said. Do you know who he was? His name?

    She nodded. Randall, he was from 2B.

    I can.

    Are you talking to yourself? Katallina asked. She looked concerned.

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    Two boxes plopped onto the ground of the cell, and Katallina jumped. You actually are a samurai, she said.

    What did you think?

    Shitty cosplayer.

    God save me from little shits with attitude, I muttered. Put on the fucking masks.

    Do you have any idea of how ironic it is that you want saving from children with attitudes?

    You calling me a child? I asked.

    That would be insulting children everywhere.

    I scoffed, but couldnt hold back a chuckle. You ready? I asked. Katallina was strapping a mask over her dogs snout. It seemed very okay with the bulbous mask. Its tail was wagging, anyway, which I figured meant it was alright.

    My experience with actual dogs was pretty limited. Id pet one or two when I ran across them, but for the most part I spent more time seeing dogs in my media feed than interacting with them. They were something of a luxury, needing space, and food, and grooming. The sort of person that had time for that wasnt the sort of person living in the same space as the orphanage.

    Whats its name? I asked.

    The dog? Katallina asked. He belonged to Miss Rupert next door. She was nice, let us play with him and take him out for walks. She died. His name is Catkiller.

    I groaned. My life was a joke. Myalis got the door opened, and judging by how neither the girl nor the dog fainted, the masks worked well enough to protect from the knock-out gas. Lets go, I said as I brought my gun up.

    A glance at my map of the building showed me where Gomorrah would be coming from. It also revealed that the red dots of security personnel were moving a lot more than before.

    Whats up with the security? I asked.

    I cant see what alerted them. One moment... ah. It seems that one of them spoke to another and neither recalled your appointment. Im afraid that I dont have the tools to rewrite memories.

    You have a gift for being terrifying, I said.

    Who are you talking to? Katallina asked.

    The alien voices in my head, I said. Lets get the fuck out of here.

    Therere guards.

    I blinked, then raised my grenade launcher while my shoulder-mounted guns deployed over my back.

    Oh, she said.

    Come on, if you behave youll maybe get to see an asshole blow up.

    On leaving the room, Katallina took a moment to punt the scientist sprawled in the floor right in the face.

    Shed fit right in with the kittens.

    ***