CHAPTER 161: CHAPTER 160: THE DEMON LORD’S FIRST WORDS: “YOU’RE CUTE. I ACCEPT.”

The chamber was still shaking from the aftershocks of a five-way duel that had somehow involved hymn missiles, dragon fire, shadow knives, and one exploding teapot. Dust and feathers drifted lazily from the ruined ceiling. Broken council chairs smoldered along the edges of the hall, and the academy’s proud marble floor looked like it had been taste-tested by an angry god with a chisel.

And then—silence. The girls froze mid-attack. The last fragments of hymn-fire sputtered into ash. Drakana’s claws hung poised over stone. Rosette’s knife stopped a millimeter from the Demon Lord’s throat. Even Lilia’s wedding-gavel trembled as she hesitated. Because the Demon Lord had finally spoken.

And what she said was this:

"You’re cute. I accept."

Her voice rolled through the chamber like velvet and thunder.

Her disguise shimmered and collapsed fully, revealing her true form—not the grim armored monarch Rei had glimpsed earlier, but a silver-haired beauty in the very same immaculate academy uniform she’d been wearing as "student council president." The sash still hugged her torso, but now it looked like an accessory chosen specifically to highlight her figure rather than an administrative prop.

Her hair gleamed moonlight-silver, falling in rippling waves down to her waist. Her crimson eyes smoldered with faint amusement as she looked directly at Rei—only Rei—as though the five women surrounding him with world-ending death energy didn’t exist.

She tilted her head slightly, smiled with terrifying serenity, and said again, softer this time:

"You’re cute. I accept you as my fiancé."

Rei’s brain went completely blank. His mouth opened, closed, opened again like a panicking fish. His only thought, his entire inner monologue, was just one word repeated in fifty fonts: NO.

[System Notification: Congratulations! Engagement Flag Triggered.]

[New Arc Triggered: "Demon Marriage Diplomacy Mode."]

[Warning: Global Affection War in Progress.]

[You brought this upon yourself.]

Rei finally found his voice. "WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT—"

But it was already too late. The yanderes’ auras flared simultaneously, colliding in the middle of the chamber in a wave of apocalyptic energy that would have vaporized the entire student council building if it hadn’t already been half destroyed.

Lilia’s wedding veil unfurled like a war banner, threads glowing crimson. Her emerald eyes burned with madness as she slammed her gavel into the ground. "UNACCEPTABLE! My Darling is already mine! No new contracts will be recognized by this court of love!"

Drakana snarled, flames spiraling from her claws. Her tail whipped, cracking stone as she roared, "No demon witch is taking my mate! Over my charred corpse!"

Seraphina raised her hymn book, her voice trembling with fury. "This... this abomination dares to desecrate holy matrimony?! I’ll strike her vow from existence!"

Rosette’s knives hummed with lethal intent. She pressed one flat against her own cheek, smiling faintly. "Cute? He’s not just cute. He’s survival itself and he’s already mine."

Emilia did not raise her voice. She did not brandish weapons. She merely poured another cup of tea, her smile serene as always. "Ara, ara. So bold, declaring engagement on the first meeting. But I suppose Rei does attract such declarations often."

Rei raised both arms, desperately gesturing like a drowning man signaling for rescue. "NO! BAD! EVERYONE STAND DOWN! We don’t need another—"

His knees gave out. Rei decided this was the perfect moment to faint. A tactical faint. The kind of faint that might, with luck, reset the insanity around him.

"Goodnight," he muttered, flopping backwards in glorious surrender. "Wake me when I’m single again."

But fate had other plans. He did not hit the ground. Instead, six pairs of hands reached out—claws, silk gloves, dagger-calloused fingers, feathered light, and one suspiciously delicate demon hand—and caught him.

Simultaneously, Rei blinked blearily as he realized he was hovering mid-air, suspended like some sort of cursed group bridal bouquet. His body was pulled in six different directions at once, each girl clutching an arm, a shoulder, or—he dared not think about where Rosette’s hand was.

He wheezed. "Why... why am I being treated like an economy-class wishbone?"

[System Notification: Multi-Grasp Detected.]

[Status Ailment Applied: "Shared Hostage."]

[Warning: Any direction you lean will trigger world war.]

The six women glared at each other over Rei’s head, their combined pressure crushing the very air.

Lilia: "Release his sacred body this instant!"

Drakana: "Never! He’s my treasure!"

Seraphina: "Unholy claws off him, beast!"

Rosette: "Quiet. You’ll wake him."

Emilia: sips tea, smiles ominously.

Demon Lord: "How adorable. He’s already fainting from love."

Rei croaked, "No—fainting from terror—"

[System Notification: Your protests have been ignored.]

[Tip: Screaming is still an option.]

The Demon Lord tightened her grip on his chin, tilting his face upward so their eyes met. She smiled again, slow and deliberate, as if she already knew the outrage she was about to spark.

"Don’t worry, fiancé," she whispered sweetly. "I’ll protect you... even from them."

Rei’s soul left his body.

Lilia shrieked like a banshee, raising her gavel high. "HOW DARE YOU—!"

Drakana’s tail whipped in fury, flames swirling hotter. "No one touches my mate’s chin except ME!"

Seraphina’s hymn book blazed, pages flipping with divine rage. "By holy decree, I shall erase this false bride!"

Rosette’s knife pressed closer against Rei’s ribs. "Stop fighting. He’s fragile."

Rei shouted, voice cracking: "STOP CALLING ME FRAGILE!"

[System Notification: Conflict Escalating.]

[New Side Mission: Prevent the Apocalypse (Again).]

[Reward: Still Not Marriage Freedom.]

The marble beneath their feet cracked from the sheer pressure of six apocalyptic auras colliding. Blue lightning spiderwebbed across the chamber. Dust fell like snow. Students outside the ruined building were already screaming and fleeing, convinced the academy was about to vanish into another crater.

And at the center of it all was Rei. Suspended like an unwilling peace treaty. Screaming into the void.

"I JUST WANTED TO NAP!"

Rei dangled in midair like some cursed group project no one wanted to share credit for—but everyone refused to let go of. His arms ached, his back cracked, and he swore one of Rosette’s blades was uncomfortably near his kidney.

"This is not—" he wheezed, "—how human joints are supposed to bend—"

[System Notification: Warning – Skeleton Integrity at 40%.]

[At least your bones are as conflicted as your love life.]

"Not—helping—" Rei gasped.

The six women’s murderous standoff escalated with terrifying grace.

Lilia yanked on his right arm as if pulling a winning lottery ticket. "Darling, return to holy matrimony!"

Drakana yanked the opposite side, flames licking her lips. "No, he’s coming with me!"

Seraphina tugged his shoulder down, chanting something in divine Latin that definitely sounded like "exorcise the harlot."

Rosette tilted her head, dagger twirling. "If you all keep pulling, he’ll break. I’ll keep the larger half."

Rei squeaked. "Don’t talk about me like I’m a chicken leg!"

Emilia, ever calm, reached forward and gently adjusted Rei’s hair, smiling faintly. "Ara, ara. He’s already distressed. Perhaps we should resolve this through diplomacy instead of tug-of-war?"

All five other girls turned to glare at her.

"Shut up, traitor," they said in unison.

The Demon Lord’s grip never wavered. She kept Rei’s chin in her hand, crimson eyes burning like molten wine. "So much passion," she murmured. "I truly understand why the system chose him. Such ferocity... all for one trembling groom."

"I’m not trembling, I’m resisting!" Rei shouted, his legs kicking helplessly.

[System Notification: False. You are trembling.]

[New Title Unlocked: "Wobbly Groom."]

The Demon Lord leaned closer, her breath brushing his ear. "Rei. My fiancé. My balance to the world."

"YOUR BAL—what?!" Rei shrieked. "I’m not a balance, I’m a disaster! I’m literally the opposite of balance!"

"Exactly." Her lips curved. "Perfect."

The other five snapped simultaneously.

Lilia raised her gavel like Thor’s hammer. "Then let heaven strike you down, demon bride!"

A column of radiant holy chains erupted around her.

Drakana flared her wings, the chamber glowing red as molten cracks split across the marble. "If anyone gets him, it’s ME!"

Seraphina’s hymn built to a fever pitch, divine flames crawling up the walls. "Blasphemy must be annihilated!"

Rosette didn’t shout. She simply pressed her dagger closer to Rei’s side, whispering, "If you say yes to her, I’ll carve her name into you. Deeply."

Rei’s eyes bulged. "STOP MAKING THREATS WITH MY BODY!"

[System Notification: Danger Level Escalating.]

[Estimated Survival Time: 2 minutes, 30 seconds.]

[System Suggestion: Scream louder.]

"I’M ALREADY SCREAMING!"

The magical tension snapped.

Six auras collided above him, exploding into a swirling tornado of feathers, fire, steel, vows, and shadows. The roof disintegrated completely this time, raining rubble down on terrified students outside. A beam of wedding-light clashed with dragon flame, colliding with void energy and hymn-fire in a symphony of apocalypse.

Rei dangled in the center, screaming bloody murder.

"STOOOOP FIGHTINGGGGG!"

No one listened. It was less a battle now and more a magical arm-wrestle where the prize was his very existence. The energy storm pulsed outward, shaking the entire academy. Far away, alarms were sounding. Faculty members debated evacuating the city. One unlucky janitor stared at the crater forming and sighed, "Not again."

Rei flailed. "LISTEN TO ME! I AM NOT A TROPHY—"

[System Notification: Correction – You are literally the trophy.]

[Congratulations ♥]

He howled. "I HATE YOU!"

The Demon Lord, unfazed, tilted her head. "So adorable when he’s flustered. Yes. You’ll do nicely."

The combined blast of fury from the other five nearly cracked the sky.

Rei’s tactical faint hadn’t worked. His tactical screaming wasn’t working. Which meant only one desperate strategy remained. And it was diplomacy.

"EVERYONE!" Rei shouted, voice raw. "How about we all just—take a seat, drink some tea, NOT DESTROY REALITY, and maybe... MAYBE... talk about this like rational, sane adults—"

Six voices cut him off in unison:

"NO."

Rei shriveled.

[System Notification: Mission Failed – "Attempt Rationality."]

[System Advice: Stick to panicking. You’re good at that.]

And so, suspended between six would-be brides, Rei realized with bleak certainty that his day had somehow gotten worse than being used as a target dummy by magical marriage artillery. Because now? Now he wasn’t just on the battlefield. He was the prize and worse yet—

The Demon Lord had already declared him hers.

Rei let out one last strangled scream into the heavens:

"GODDESS ERIS, IF YOU’RE WATCHING, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Somewhere, faintly, a cosmic giggle echoed.

To be continued...