Surviving marriage in yandere world
Chapter 163 162: System Briefing: Demon Fiancée Survival Guide
Velvet Manor, Morning After the Riots. Rei woke up with the crushing sensation that someone had parked a cathedral on his chest. His bleary eyes fluttered open, vision filled with paper. Not the gentle kind of love letters an academy boy might dream of. Not the sweet, perfumed notes of adoring fangirls.
No. These were the rejection kind. The "rot in a pit, traitor" kind. The "die by shovel, fiancé-thief" kind. The ones written in blood-like ink with doodles of pitchforks and crying angels in the margins.
And worst of all, they were all addressed to her. It's not Seraphina, Drakana, nor Rosette. But Lady Lucivella Nightshade — the Demon Lord who had, for reasons still beyond mortal comprehension, declared him her fiancé in public yesterday.
Rei groaned, peeling one off his forehead.
"Dear Lady Nightshade," he read aloud in monotone, "I hope your wedding dress catches fire. Sincerely, 'Not At All Bitter' from Class 3-B."
He crumpled it, tossing it onto the already mountainous pile.
"Why is this my life…"
Before he could complain further, a familiar translucent blue screen popped up with all the smugness of a landlord reminding you rent was due.
[Main Mission Updated: "Survive Your Engagement Week"]
[Reward: Not Dying Horribly]
[Bonus Reward: You Get to Touch a Demon Horn (Optional)]
[System Suggestion: Get a lawyer or a priest.]
Rei sat up so fast the letters slid off him like an avalanche.
"'Survive my engagement week'?! What the hell kind of quest is that?!"
[Clarification: The 'engagement' refers to your legally binding public demon marriage arrangement with Lady Lucivella Nightshade, Demon Lord Supreme.]
[Translation: You are now officially screwed.]
"Why is touching a demon horn a bonus reward?!" Rei shouted at the air.
[System Explanation: Demon horns are highly sensitive and culturally significant. Touching one implies extreme intimacy. It is equivalent to—]
[Error: Content censored for PG-13.]
[Translation: You'll definitely die if one of your yanderes sees you do it.]
Rei paled. "Then why is it even a bonus?! That's not a reward, that's a death sentence with sparkles!"
[Look, sometimes the line between reward and punishment is thin. Welcome to marriage.]
The door to his room creaked open.
"Reiiii~ are you awake?"
Rei froze. His survival instincts, honed from weeks of dodging obsessive wives and fire-breathing pillow fights, kicked in. He dove back under the pile of rejection letters, hoping camouflage would save him.
It did not because Rosette, his quiet maid, glided in with the unerring precision of a heat-seeking missile. Her crimson eyes swept the room, immediately locking onto his trembling paper mound.
She set down a silver tray with tea and croissants, then leaned down, her lips brushing the paper covering his ear.
"Good morning, Young Master," she whispered sweetly, with undertones of "I know exactly where you are hiding and I'll drag you out anyway."
Rei peeked out, defeated. "…Morning, Rosette."
She smiled softly, then straightened and smoothed her apron. "The household wishes to discuss certain…developments. They are waiting in the drawing room."
Rei groaned. "Developments? You mean the part where the Demon Lord publicly announced me as her fiancé and the academy collapsed into riots?"
"Yes," Rosette said, serene as a winter lake. "That part."
The drawing room was not so much a room anymore as it was a war council disguised with lace curtains.
Seraphina sat primly on the velvet couch, porcelain teacup untouched, her angelic wings twitching with visible restraint. Across from her, Drakana lounged with her massive dragon tail swishing, claws tapping against the floor in ominous rhythm. Lilia occupied the seat closest to Rei's usual spot, smiling far too sweetly to be safe. Behind them, Rosette had already taken her post in the corner like an executioner awaiting orders.
And then there was Lucivella. The Demon Lord herself sat at the head of the table like she had owned this house her entire life. Silver hair flowing, uniform still crisp from yesterday's chaos, she casually flipped through a rejection letter as if it were the morning paper.
"Oh, this one is charming," she said pleasantly. "'May your firstborn be ugly.' Such creativity." She looked up at Rei with a dazzling smile. "Fiancé, your peers are so… passionate."
Rei staggered in, pale as death.
"This isn't a passion, this is a revolution! Do you have any idea how much paperwork you caused?!"
Lucivella tilted her head, amused. "You mean the engagement notice? I simply had the academy publish our photo. A lady must announce her claim properly, yes?"
Rei clutched his face. "That was not an announcement, that was a public execution!"
[Side Mission Generated: "Damage Control 101"]
[Objective: Prevent the academy from burning down.]
[Optional Objective: Prevent yourself from being burned down.]
[System Prediction: 7% success chance.]
"Seven percent?!" Rei screeched at the blue box. "That's not even a chance, that's a typo!"
[Correction: 6.5% after recalculating for your current expression.]
"Stop recalculating!" Rei barked.
Drakana's claws scraped louder. "Enough whining, mate. Let me handle this. One roar from me and the academy will remember who your true partner is."
Seraphina slammed her teacup down, voice sugary but lethal. "Oh no, dragon. It will be my divine light that clears this farce. Rei belongs to me, not some—some demon in uniform!"
Lucivella raised an elegant eyebrow. "Correction. Rei belongs to me. Public record agrees."
Lilia's smile didn't falter, though her fingers twitched on her embroidery hoop. "I don't mind sharing~. But if anyone tries to touch the wedding embroidery I've been working on for years, I'll gut them like a fish."
Rei collapsed into the nearest chair, burying his face in his hands.
"Why can't I just be single? Why can't I just read books in peace like a normal human being?"
[System Reminder: That ship sailed when you sneezed 'yes' to a proposal back in Arc 1.]
[System Philosophy: Destiny is just another word for 'you messed up but we're rolling with it.']
"Shut up!" Rei yelled at the hovering screen.
Lucivella tapped her finger against the table, her smile sharpening. "Fiancé. The academy already recognizes us. The world will soon. There's no undoing this, unless…"
Rei perked up. "Unless?"
She leaned forward, eyes gleaming. "…Unless you'd rather elope immediately. I don't mind."
The room went still. The wives' auras detonated like an apocalypse. Seraphina's halo cracked like glass. Drakana's tail ignited in flame. Rosette reached for a knife from seemingly nowhere. Lilia's smile turned so sharp Rei was sure someone's throat was already bleeding in another dimension.
Rei squeaked, flailing both arms. "N-no eloping! Nobody's eloping! I—I'm too young! Too fragile! Too… mortal for this!"
[System Notification: Congratulations! You have successfully delayed death by thirty seconds.]
"Thirty seconds?!" Rei shrieked.
The chaos eventually downgraded into an "official strategy session." Which, in Rei's dictionary, translated to: him sitting in the middle while six women with lethal obsessions argued over who got to kill whom first.
"Fiancé," Lucivella said coolly, brushing a letter aside. "Do not fear. I shall personally deal with these childish rebels. The academy will kneel or burn."
Rei panicked. "You can't just burn an academy! That's where I keep my diploma dreams!"
Seraphina snapped, "I'll handle this. The student council is already calling an emergency meeting, and as Princess, my word carries authority."
Drakana snarled, "Authority means nothing when a single roar clears the halls."
Lilia giggled, "Or I could simply… lace everyone's tea with my 'special' blend. Problem solved~."
Rosette's voice, calm and terrifying, floated over them. "Or we could simply remove the Demon Lord from the picture."
Everyone froze. Rosette's crimson eyes met Lucivella's silver ones. The air was colder than the Abyss.
Rei leapt up, waving his arms frantically. "No murdering my fiancée! Even if she—technically—accidentally—kidnapped me into engagement!"
Lucivella's smile widened, dangerous and pleased. "See? He already defends me. Proof of affection."
"I was defending my life expectancy!" Rei shouted.
[Tomato, tomahto.]
When Rei finally collapsed back in his bedroom, convinced the day couldn't get worse, the System pinged again.
[System Tutorial Unlocked: Demon Fiancée Survival Guide]
[Chapter 1: Don't Panic (Panicking Only Increases Blood Loss)]
[Chapter 2: How to Navigate Engagement Politics Without Being Shanked]
[Chapter 3: Horn Etiquette – Where NOT to Touch]
[Chapter 4: Wedding Preparations and How to Fake Your Own Death]
[End of Briefing: Good luck, idiot.]
Rei lay in bed, clutching his pillow. "This isn't a survival guide. This is just a murder schedule."
[System Clarification: Exactly.]
He screamed into the pillow until his voice cracked.
And from the hall, muffled but unmistakable, six different voices called out at once:
"Rei, darling~ are you asleep yet?"
His soul left his body.
[Final Reminder of the Day: You still need to marry the Demon Lord to save the world.]
[Bonus Reminder: Survive until tomorrow first.]
Rei sat bolt upright in bed, sweat dripping down his forehead. The walls felt thinner than parchment, every syllable from beyond the door sliding into his ears like blades.
He pressed his face into the pillow again. "If I stay silent, maybe they'll think I died."
[System Response: Statistically impossible. They already placed life-sensing wards on your body.]
[Side Note: Rosette added a heartbeat tracker in your shirt pocket. It's cute right?]
Rei's muffled scream rattled the mattress. Somewhere outside, giggles overlapped with demonic humming. His nightmare wasn't coming. It was already inside the house.
To be continued…