Rei Velvet had endured a lot of mornings.

Mornings where Drakana roasted his blankets mid-slumber. where Seraphina dropped holy water on his forehead like he was some kind of sleepwalking demon. where Rosette stood silently at his bedside, staring at him like a gargoyle until he woke up. where Emilia tripped, spilled tea all over his chest, and apologized while he drowned in scalding politeness.

But this morning… this one… was worse. Because instead of simple chaos, politics had decided to invade his cornflakes.

The dining hall was full, not of breakfast chatter, but of battle hymns. A choir—an actual choir—was rehearsing in the corner, wearing pristine white robes stitched with golden thread. They sang verses like:

"One true love! One true heart!

Faithful harems fall apart!"

Rei sat frozen over his cereal bowl, tears dripping into the milk. "…Why does my life sound like a cursed church musical?"

[System Notification: Good morning, User Rei!]

[New Day, New Disaster.]

[Main Mission Reminder: Survive Engagement Week.]

[Sub-Mission Triggered: Prevent 'Sacred Order of Eternal Marriage' from declaring a continent-wide crusade.]

[Failure Consequence: International Holy War (Again).]

[Reward: Bowl of cold cereal, if it survives.]

Across the table sat the culprit.

Lady Lilia, "childhood friend," "heir to the Holy Church," "embroidery enthusiast," and now apparently, pope of her own personal religion. She stirred her tea with serene menace, eyes glowing with sacred fervor.

"Rei-sama," she said sweetly, "I have founded the Sacred Order of Eternal Marriage. Its mission is simple: to defend the sanctity of our holy union."

Rei gagged on his spoon. "Our holy what now?"

Lucivella, calmly buttering her toast, arched a silver brow. "How quaint. You're starting a cult over him? Adorable. But meaningless."

"It is not a cult," Lilia corrected firmly, her angelic smile sharper than a guillotine. "It is a holy crusade. Of love."

Drakana perked up, biting into a steak bone. "Finally, some war talk I understand. But you're wasting time. If you want him, take him by force, not choir songs."

Seraphina folded her hands. "A crusade without divine sanction is blasphemy."

Rosette silently cleaned her knives, then raised exactly one eyebrow. Translation: I can kill everyone in the choir if needed.

Emilia fidgeted nervously. "Um… maybe… instead of crusades we could… have pancakes?"

Rei whimpered, hugging his cereal bowl like a lifeline. "Please… someone… anyone… let me finish breakfast before you launch a holy war in my name."

It did not happen. Within hours, the academy courtyard became a parade ground. Lilia, dressed in ceremonial white armor polished until it blinded the eyes, rode atop a white horse draped in velvet cloth embroidered with gold-thread hearts.

Behind her marched two hundred choir members, every one of them holding hymnals and singing their lungs out.

"Faithful vows! Eternal chains!

No demon kiss shall ever reign!

Blessed love! Sacred bride!

No fiancées on the side!"

Rei, dragged to the balcony by Lucivella for "observation," nearly fainted. "I can't… I can't believe she turned my love life into a marching hymn."

Lucivella smirked. "She is wasting energy. A holy crusade of love cannot compare to a demonic occupation of passion." She leaned closer, whispering against his ear. "And besides, you are already mine."

The crowd below erupted in cheers, mistaking Lucivella's whisper for another public declaration.

"THE DEMON LORD IS WINNING HIS HEART!"

"LILIA MUST SAVE HIM!"

"DOWN WITH POLYAMORY, UP WITH HOLY MATRIMONY!"

[System Alert: Faction War Escalation Detected.]

[Side Faction Created: "Sacred Order of Eternal Marriage."]

[They now possess: 200 choir members, one horse, three hymn writers, and the blessings of the confused.]

[Global Stability: -40%.]

[You're basically the World Cup trophy, but everyone's homicidal.]

That night, Rei sat slumped over the breakfast table again, because apparently nobody cared that dinner existed anymore. All meals had become political battlegrounds.

His cereal had long gone soggy, but he still poked it with his spoon, muttering. "They're singing about my chastity in four-part harmony. They've declared my face a holy symbol. They're marching around campus with banners that say 'Eternal Marriage Only.'"

Emilia patted his shoulder sympathetically. "The banners are… very well painted…"

Rosette muttered from the shadows, "I cut three down already."

Seraphina glared. "That crusade is illegitimate! I am the true representative of holy vows!"

Drakana growled. "If anyone sings about mate rights again, I'll barbecue the choir."

Lucivella, calm as moonlight, set down her teacup. "Let them sing. Their noise only amplifies your value as my chosen fiancé. You destabilize the world just by existing. That is power."

Rei slammed his head into the table. "I don't want power! I just want a normal breakfast!"

[System Notification: Request Denied.]

[Reason: The narrative demands maximum suffering.]

[Mini-Quest: "Survive the Crusade of Love"]

[Failure: Your name will be canonized as Saint Velvet, Patron of Doomed Engagements.]

[Imagine the statues.]

By dawn, Lilia's Order had doubled. Nobles, commoners, and even professors had joined, marching with white banners. Hymns echoed through the academy like church bells.

Lucivella's demon supporters countered by plastering the walls with posters: "VELVET + NIGHTSHADE = DESTINY."

Drakana's faction just drew flaming graffiti: "REI IS MINE OR ELSE."

Rosette didn't bother with slogans—she simply began kidnapping choir leaders in the night.

Emilia baked cookies with "Let's All Get Along" iced on top, which were immediately weaponized into propaganda snacks by every faction.

The campus had turned into a three-way warzone of hymns, propaganda, and baked goods.

And Rei? Rei was still crying into his cereal.

[System Summary: Day Two of Engagement Week.]

[Faction Influence: Demon Lord – 35%. Sacred Order – 30%. Knife Shadow Syndicate – ???%. Dragon Mate Rights – 25%. Emilia – 5% but with cookies.]

[Probability of Rei Surviving the Week: 11%.]

[At least your cereal is consistent.]

That evening, Rei cornered Lilia in the courtyard, surrounded by her marching choir. His voice cracked. "Lilia! You can't just declare a holy crusade over me!"

She smiled angelically, pressing a hand to his chest. "But I must, Rei-sama. Only by declaring my eternal devotion before heaven and earth can I save you from corruption."

Lucivella materialized behind him, draping an arm around his shoulders. "Correction. Only I can save him and I already have."

The choir gasped. The sky darkened. Drakana swooped overhead, roaring fire into the air.

And Rei? Rei just screamed into the heavens.

"CAN I EAT MY CEREAL IN PEACE?!"

[System Notification: Nope.]

[New Arc Event: Holy Crusade of Love vs. Demon Marriage Diplomacy.]

[Main Mission Updated: Survive the Battle of Hymns.]

[Bonus Mission: Don't drown in cereal tears.]

[Your suffering is truly inspiring.]

Rei didn't sleep that night. It's not just because of nightmares. Neither because of assassins nor even because Rosette was casually sharpening her knives on the balcony like a death clock.

No. He couldn't sleep because the choir was still singing.

They had camped outside the academy, set up tents, and started rotating shifts. Every three hours, fresh voices would rise into the night air, chanting hymns about his "eternal purity."

"Velvet's vows shall never break!

Sacred bonds, for heaven's sake!"

Rei lay in bed with bloodshot eyes, muttering. "If I hear one more rhyme about my purity, I'm personally defecting to the demon faction."

Lucivella, lying far too close beside him, smiled lazily. "Do that, and I will ensure you never hear hymns again. Only my voice whispering in your ear."

"Not helping!" Rei squeaked.

By morning, the "Crusade of Love" had escalated to open recruitment.

In the courtyard, Lilia stood atop her white horse once more, parchment scrolls in hand.

"Citizens of the Academy! Take this vow and join the Sacred Order! Swear eternal loyalty to our cause, and you shall receive free hymnals, embroidered scarves, and discounted wedding rehearsal tickets!"

Rei nearly choked. "DISCOUNTED WHAT?!"

Drakana landed nearby, cracking the cobblestones. "Pfft. Pathetic. Who needs hymnals when you can win with strength?" She hefted a massive spear, the blade still sizzling with fire. "Sign up for my mate army, and you'll get combat drills, dragon tattoos, and the right to barbecue anyone who gets in our way!"

The crowd roared with approval.

Moments later, Seraphina swept in with a literal beam of sunlight. She raised her holy staff, halo glowing above her head. "No! All of you are misguided. Only my vow represents the will of the heavens! Pledge yourselves to my faction, and you will be blessed with divine protection, heavenly tax exemptions, and—" she glanced sharply at Rei, "—a chance to preserve the chastity of our beloved duke's son."

The courtyard descended into chaos. Students and staff began arguing over which faction to join. Choir voices clashed with dragon roars. Sunlight beams burned away graffiti while Rosette's shadow assassins quietly kidnapped anyone who looked too enthusiastic.

And poor Emilia, holding a tray of heart-shaped cookies, stood in the corner whispering, "Please… can't we just eat snacks together?"

But nobody heard her.

[System Notification: Campus Neutrality at 0%.]

[All factions are actively recruiting. Students may now receive faction tattoos against their will.]

[World Stability: -70%.]

[Reminder: You still haven't finished your cereal.]

By lunchtime, Rei staggered into the library hoping for peace. Instead, he found propaganda leaflets scattered across the shelves.

"Join the Sacred Order!" one read.

"Lucivella x Rei = Forever," said another.

"Mate Rights or Death!" scrawled across the history books in dragon fire ink.

Even the librarian, a kindly old mage, wore a button that said "Saint Velvet Approves Eternal Marriage."

Rei dropped to his knees. "Why… why does even the library betray me…?"

Lilia appeared from behind the stacks, her eyes aglow with holy light. She placed a hymnbook in his trembling hands. "Do not despair, Rei-sama. This is destiny."

Lucivella appeared a heartbeat later, brushing the hymnbook aside and sliding a demon-sigil bracelet onto his wrist. "Correction. This is destiny."

Drakana smashed through a window, waving her spear. "DESTINY IS MINE TO BURN INTO HIM!"

And in the shadows, Rosette muttered, "Destiny won't save you. Only I can."

The choir outside started another hymn. Rei buried his face in the nearest pile of books and screamed.

[System Notification: Engagement Week enters Day Three.]

[New Crisis Event: "Faction Conversions."]

[Warning: If you're converted into a faction leader against your will, marriage contracts will auto-generate.]

[You really should have skipped breakfast.]

To be continued…