CHAPTER 179: CHAPTER 178: THE ACADEMY COLLAPSES (AND REI BECOMES PRINCIPAL AGAINST HIS WILL)

The morning after the "Wedding Apocalypse" looked less like an academy campus and more like a post-apocalyptic theme park.

The once-proud Royal Magic Academy stood—or rather slumped—like a drunk noble with a hangover.

The central tower, which had survived demon invasions, dragon sieges, and one thousand years of magical storms, now tilted at a 37-degree angle, humming ominously as if daring gravity to finish the job.

The alchemy department? A black crater, bubbling like soup. A lone homunculus crawled out of the pit, looked around, and muttered, "Nope," before diving back in.

The library? It’s weeping literally. The enchanted shelves sobbed ink and parchment scraps, wailing like widows at a funeral. A librarian tried to hush them, but the shelves only screamed louder.

The cafeteria? Combusting hourly. Every sixty minutes, without fail, a tray of lasagna would spontaneously ignite and detonate, showering the ruins in marinara shrapnel.

One student wandered past Rei and whispered, "Is this... still accredited?" before being eaten by a rogue textbook.

Rei, standing in the middle of the courtyard with soot in his hair and frosting on his tux, covered his face. "I... I broke the school, The entire school. My tuition debt on Earth followed me into this world, and now I’ve bankrupted another institution of education."

[System Damage Report: Royal Academy Integrity = 7%.]

[93% Destroyed. Remainder Held Together by Hope and Spite.]

[At Least the Cafeteria Finally Matches the Taste of Its Food.]

The surviving faculty gathered in what used to be the staff room. Technically, it was now just a scorched foundation with half a tea set, but tradition demanded meetings.

Professor Hargrave, his beard still on fire, slammed a half-melted ledger onto the table. "Damage assessment complete! Everything’s destroyed except the gift shop."

Another teacher added, "Yes, but the gift shop only sells cursed plushies that whisper marry me at night."

Rei sat awkwardly in the middle of the table because someone had burned all the chairs.

Then, as though this meeting couldn’t get worse, the staff handed him a cake. Not a normal cake. A burnt, charred, coffin-shaped cake with "GOODBYE" iced in dripping red frosting.

Rei blinked. "What is this?"

Professor Hargrave coughed. "The... traditional Banishment Cake. Reserved for students who ruin the Academy beyond repair."

Rei’s jaw dropped. "You’re expelling me with dessert?!"

The secretary nodded briskly. "Yes. Policy 304, subsection F: catastrophic grooms, apocalyptic brides, or any student responsible for repeated cafeteria combustion are to be dismissed with a ceremonial cake."

[System Notification: New Item Acquired – "Banishment Cake."]

[Passive Effect: Attracts Assassins, Mother-in-Laws, and Hungry Ghosts.]

[Might Taste Better Than the Cafeteria.]

And then came the drama. Headmaster Aurelius—an ancient man who looked like he’d personally graded Aristotle’s homework—stood up, robes torn, hair still smoking. His cane glowed with resignation.

"Students. Faculty. Staff. Mice in the basement. I... am retiring."

Gasps echoed.

The Headmaster raised a trembling hand. "This Academy has stood for centuries, enduring war, famine, pestilence... and budget cuts. But it cannot survive... him." He pointed dramatically at Rei.

Rei froze mid-bite of banishment cake. "Hey!"

"I resign!" the Headmaster bellowed, then promptly spun, dipped his secretary into a passionate kiss, and teleported away with a snap of fingers.

Silence followed.

Rei coughed frosting. "...Did he just retire into romance?"

[System Notification: Title Acquired – "Lord of Burnt Syllabi."]

[Effect: You Are Now Technically In Charge.]

[Congratulations, You’ve Been Promoted From Groom to Principal. Career Advancement!]

Before Rei could object, the entire faculty turned to him like vultures to carrion.

"The Headmaster has resigned," Professor Hargrave said gravely. "By ancient bylaws... the groom who caused the most destruction automatically becomes Acting Principal."

Rei spat out his cake. "That’s not a bylaw! That’s— that’s insane!"

The secretary calmly held up a legal scroll. "Subsection 12C: ’In the event of catastrophic nuptial warfare, the guilty groom assumes leadership of the Academy to pay reparations in administrative labor.’"

Rei paled. "Administrative labor...? No. NO! I already lived that life on Earth! Spreadsheets! Payroll! Weekly reviews!"

[System Notification: New Title – Acting Principal Velvet.]

[Quest Unlocked: "Rebuild Academy While Surviving Marriage Attempts."]

[At Least The Pay Is Better. (Note: There Is No Pay.)]

Because apparently things weren’t chaotic enough, the Academy immediately decided to hold a "Farewell Ball" in the ruins to celebrate both the school’s collapse and Rei’s unwanted promotion.

The ballroom—formerly the east wing—was now just an open crater with fairy lights strung over it. Students danced around rubble. A bard sang next to a broken latrine. A chandelier dangled by one chain, swinging like a guillotine.

Rei stumbled inside, tugging at his burnt tuxedo. "Why are we having a ball in a disaster zone?!"

"Tradition," the secretary said cheerfully, sipping wine.

And then the real horror began: six brides in gowns, glaring at each other, circling Rei like wolves around a steak.

Lilia curtsied. "Principal or not, you will dance first with me, darling."

Velveria’s shadows stretched across the floor. "Wrong. The first dance belongs to eternity’s bride."

Drakana stomped her dragon foot, cracking the crater wider. "Mate dance on dragon wings!"

Seraphina raised her staff. "The divine mandate grants me the opening waltz."

Rosette twirled a dagger. "The first dance will be his last."

Emilia, of course, already held out her hand with smug calm. "Rei. Dance."

Rei screamed internally.

[System Alert: Maximum Bride Density Reached.]

[Warning: Floor Integrity Compromised.]

[Hope You Practiced Breakdancing For When The Floor Collapses.]

Just as Rei prepared to run for his life, the ballroom doors (well, rubble pile) exploded inward.

An assassin clad in black armor leapt through the smoke, waving a spear.

"I am the Herald of the Monogamy League!" he shouted. "NO POLYAMORY IN OUR LANDS!"

Rei’s eyes widened. "Wait—you people are real?!"

The assassin lunged straight for Rei’s heart—only to be instantly vaporized by simultaneous attacks.

Velveria’s shadows pierced him. Lilia’s hymn burned him. The assassin screamed, "This was supposed to be a stealth missio—" and evaporated into ash.

The ball attendees clapped politely.

Rei clutched his head. "Why does everyone want to kill me over romance laws?!"

[System Notification: Side Quest Complete – "Repel Anti-Polygamy Assassin."]

[Reward: 0 Gold, 0 Peace, Infinite Trauma.]

[Your Love Life Is Literally Illegal In Several Countries.]

Later that night, Rei stumbled into the Academy gardens—or what remained of them. Most of the hedges were ash, fountains shattered, statues in rubble. The moonlight glimmered on charred rose petals.

And there, waiting amid the ruins, was Drakana. Her dragon wings shimmered faintly, her gown torn, eyes burning with intensity.

"Mate."

Rei froze. "...Please tell me this isn’t another duel."

She shook her head. For once, her voice softened. "Mate... one day... when all others gone, when fire and shadows fade... only I will remain. Only dragon. Only me."

The words hit Rei like a fireball to the chest. His nose began to bleed instantly. "Wh-what—"

Drakana stepped closer, tail curling protectively around him. Her breath was warm, her gaze unwavering. "No treaty. No dance. No cake. In the end... only me."

Rei staggered back, clutching his nose. "Why... why do you all keep confessing like this?! I can’t handle—"

[System Alarm: Dangerous Confession Detected.]

[Warning: Heart Rate Critical. Nosebleed Exponential.]

[Retreat Recommended, Before You Drown In Your Own Blood.]

Before Rei could answer—or collapse—the rest of the brides appeared, glaring at Drakana, weapons drawn. The air grew hot again, sparks flying as magical pressure filled the ruined garden.

Rei stood in the middle, bleeding from the nose, hair smoking, soul exhausted.

He whispered, "Why... why does every Chapter end like this..."

The System chimed in cheerfully.

[Main Mission Update: "Survive Confessions & School Collapse."]

[Failure Condition: Death by Love or Falling Masonry.]

[Good Luck, Principal Velvet.]

And thus, under moonlight and rubble, surrounded by six apocalyptic brides, an illegal treaty, and an academy 93% destroyed, Rei realized his nightmare had only begun.

The Academy had fallen. He was now its leader. And love itself had become war.

As if the garden wasn’t tense enough, a battered messenger hawk crash-landed in the middle of the standoff, scroll tied to its leg. It coughed up soot, gave Rei a look of pity, and promptly keeled over.

Rei shakily untied the scroll, unrolled it... and paled.

It read in bold crimson ink:

"Congratulations, Acting Principal Velvet. You are now responsible for:

– School Repairs (Budget: 0)

– Faculty Salaries (Budget: negative 12)

– Student Therapy Sessions (Budget: eternal)"

Rei screamed silently into the night.

[System Update: New Principal Duty Added – "Morning Announcements."]

[First Speech Due Tomorrow At Dawn.]

[System Sarcasm: Better Practice Your Public Speaking Before The Students Stone You With Leftover Lasagna.]

The brides froze mid-duel, turning toward Rei.

Lilia pressed a hand to his chest, eyes glowing. "Darling, I shall write your speech for you. A hymn of eternal devotion."

Velveria smirked, shadows curling around her. "Wrong. His speech will be an oath of eternal binding to me."

Drakana growled. "Speech unnecessary. Just roar. Prove dominance."

Rei clutched his head. "This is school administration, not a cult sermon!"

The ground rumbled as another chunk of the central tower finally gave way, collapsing with a deafening crash. Dust filled the air. Students screamed in the distance.

Rei looked around at the chaos—the sobbing library, the exploding cafeteria, the crater where alchemy once stood. Then he looked at six yanderes ready to murder each other over his speech of the day.

"...I want a transfer," he whispered.

[System Denial: Transfers Not Available.]

[System Reminder: You Are Principal Until Death. Or Worse.]

[Congratulations. You Have Truly Graduated.]

Rei fell to his knees, trembling. "Please... someone... just let me resign."

And as the garden shook with impending doom, all six brides simultaneously stepped closer, voices overlapping in terrifying unison:

"Resign? From us?"

The moon seemed to flicker out. Rei’s vision went black.

To be continued...