CHAPTER 183: CHAPTER 182: TEA PARTY BRAWL OF EXPLODING SUGAR CUBES

The invitation arrived on perfumed parchment. It was gilded, ribbon-tied, sealed with wax, and smelled faintly of roses and doom.

Rei stared at it as though it were a death warrant. "You are cordially invited to a peaceful reconciliation tea party," the elegant script read.

The host was, of course, his older sister.

He paled. "She’s... inviting everyone... to tea."

Drakana cracked her knuckles, flames licking between her teeth. "GOOD. I WILL SPIKE THE TEAPOT WITH HER ASHES."

Lilia brandished the holy parchment as if it were blasphemy. "This is clearly a trap."

Velveria smirked, shadows curling lazily. "Oh, it’s definitely a trap. That’s why we must attend."

Emilia sipped from her porcelain cup—which was empty, because she carried an empty teacup everywhere. "Ara, ara. Tea parties are for ladies. Let’s see if she remembers etiquette when her teeth are scattered across the table."

Rosette just whispered, "Knives fit well in teapots."

Seraphina clutched her staff. "If she dares place demonic sugar cubes, I’ll exorcise the whole garden!"

Rei groaned, massaging his temples. "It’s a tea party! Normal people just... drink tea, talk about the weather, maybe gossip politely about scandals—"

Six yandere eyes turned toward him with equal parts pity and disbelief.

"Darling," Lilia said softly, patting his hand, "you are not normal and neither is your sister."

[System Notification: Event Triggered – "Tea Party of Death."]

[Spoiler Alert – Tea Will Not Be The Only Thing Spilled.]

The Royal Academy ruins had been transformed overnight. Where there had once been rubble and ash now sprawled a picturesque tea garden, complete with lace-draped tables, porcelain china, and floating parasols shading everything in soft pastel hues.

Rei blinked. "...How does she even do this? The academy was destroyed yesterday."

"She willed it," Velveria whispered darkly. "That’s worse than magic. That’s interior decorating power."

At the head of the garden sat his sister. She was elegant and smiling. A flawless dress of white silk embroidered with lilies. Her posture perfect, her every gesture serene, her aura simultaneously angelic and terrifying.

"Welcome, everyone," she said sweetly. "Please, sit. Let us forget our quarrels and enjoy tea like a family."

[System Warning: Final Boss Yandere Is Smiling. Danger Level = Maximum.]

Rei wanted to run. Instead, he was guided—no, dragged—into a velvet chair at his sister’s right-hand side. The other brides spread out along the opposite seats like generals facing an emperor.

The air was thick with false civility. Drakana folded her arms, glaring at the teapot. Lilia clutched her holy relic like a gun. Velveria’s shadows licked at the table legs. Emilia calmly stirred her empty cup with invisible tea. Rosette slid a knife into her sleeve without breaking eye contact. Seraphina muttered runes under her breath, chalk dust sprinkling onto the floor.

And his sister? She just poured tea with grace, humming softly.

It began innocently enough. A porcelain bowl of sugar cubes sat glittering at the center of the table. But too innocently.

Rei’s instincts screamed. "Wait. Don’t—"

Drakana already dropped one into her cup.

BOOM!

The teacup exploded in a spray of confetti and tiny paper dragons.

Rei flinched. "WHAT WAS THAT?!"

His sister blinked. "Oh my. How festive."

Lilia, suspicious, dropped a cube in hers.

POP! Firecrackers shot upward, showering sparks onto the lace.

Seraphina shrieked. "Pyromancy in my tea?! Blasphemy!"

Velveria smirked and tossed three cubes into her cup. They dissolved silently... then her tea hissed, turned pitch black, and began emitting laughter.

Rosette’s cube melted instantly, leaving behind a small dagger in her cup. She calmly drank around it.

Emilia daintily stirred a cube. Her tea blossomed into roses, sparkles, and hearts. She sipped elegantly. "...Ara. Not bad."

Rei slapped his forehead. "WHY ARE ALL THE SUGAR CUBES CURSED?!"

[System Alert: Sabotage Detected – "Exploding Sugar Cube Trap."]

[On The Bright Side, At Least The Tea Isn’t Poisoned.]

[Correction: Actually, The Tea Is Poisoned.]

Indeed, the tea wasn’t poisoned to kill—it was poisoned to reveal.

Velveria narrowed her eyes. "This flavor... truth root."

Seraphina gasped. "A truth potion!?"

Rei nearly choked. "You’re saying whoever drinks it—"

"—must speak honestly," Lilia finished grimly.

Everyone froze. All eyes went to his sister. She only smiled, sipping serenely. "Honesty builds trust. What better way to reconcile?"

[System Notification: Truth Potion Consumed.]

[Effect: Involuntary Confessions Activated.]

[Finally, Some Honesty. This Will Hurt.]

It started with Drakana, slamming her fist onto the table.

"I SLEEP OUTSIDE YOUR ROOM EVERY NIGHT TO GUARD YOU FROM RATS. ALSO BECAUSE YOUR SCENT MAKES ME DREAM OF FIRE. I WILL MURDER ANYONE WHO BREATHES ON YOU. ALSO, I MAY HAVE EATEN YOUR SHOES LAST MONTH."

Rei coughed violently. "YOU WHAT?!"

The others glared.

Lilia’s face burned with divine light. "Fine! I CONFESS. I STITCHED YOUR INITIALS INTO MY WEDDING VEIL WITH YOUR HAIR. I PRAY TO THE GODDESS THAT YOU WILL TRIP INTO MY ARMS DAILY. ALSO, I HIRED A PRIEST TO PREPARE A CEREMONY IN SECRET!"

"YOU WHAT?!" Rei shrieked again.

Velveria leaned forward, shadows curling hungrily. "I track your dreams. Yes, every dream. I enter them, alter them, and feed you nightmares to keep you dependent on my comfort. Also, I keep jars of your pillow drool."

Rei’s sanity cracked. "WHY?!"

Emilia sighed, sipping her rose-tea. "Ara, ara. I suppose I must admit it too. I bake cookies using ingredients stolen from your bathwater. It adds... essence. Also, every cupcake I make is shaped like you."

Rei gagged. "I KNEW THE FLAVOR WAS TOO FAMILIAR—"

Seraphina slammed her staff. "Confession: I attempted to forge thirty royal decrees declaring you my fiancé. All of them failed because I accidentally signed them with ’Mrs. Rei ♥’ instead of my name. ALSO I STOLE YOUR COMB AND BUILT AN ALTAR."

Rosette calmly set her teacup down. "...I switch your clothes with ones I sew tiny knives into. They’re not traps. They’re trackers. I know where you are at all times."

The table went silent. Rei’s eye twitched. He looked at his sister with desperation. "See?! See what I deal with?! This is insane! They’re insane!"

His sister smiled sweetly. "And you think they’re the problem?"

[System Notification: Multiple Sanity Breaks Detected.]

[Rei’s Therapy Bill Would Bankrupt Nations.]

Once the truth potion had loosened tongues, the tea party collapsed into chaos.

Drakana roared at Velveria for dream-stalking. Lilia shrieked at Emilia for "sacrilegious bathwater baking."

Seraphina tried to exorcise the sugar cubes, which exploded into fireworks spelling "HUSBAND."

Rosette began quietly planting knives into the teapot, saucers, and even the lace cloth.

And through it all, Rei sat slumped, face pale, eyes hollow.

"My life... my life is a circus..." he whispered.

[System Sympathy: Error – Cannot Calculate Comfort. I Suggests Screaming.]

His sister, meanwhile, calmly refilled cups, unbothered by the explosions, shouting, and threats of holy fire. "Now, now. Don’t argue. We’re family. Isn’t this nice?"

"NO!" Rei screamed, slamming his hands on the table. "This is NOT NICE! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE WITH FANCY TABLECLOTHS!"

Confessions continued flying:

– Lilia declared she had forged a prophecy predicting their marriage.

– Drakana admitted she kept a shrine of his toenail clippings.

– Velveria revealed she once cursed an entire village to write love poems about him.

– Emilia confessed she swapped his shampoo for aphrodisiac lotion.

– Seraphina admitted she had legally declared his birthday a holy day.

– Rosette revealed she poisoned every fork at the table, "just in case."

The tea garden descended into yelling, fire, curses, divine lightning, confetti bombs, and cupcakes bouncing like grenades.

Rei threw his arms to the heavens. "WHY?! WHY CAN’T I JUST HAVE ONE NORMAL TEA PARTY?! IS PEACE TOO MUCH TO ASK?!"

The sky rumbled, thunder crashed and The system dinged.

[System Notification: Arc 3 Complete!]

[Reward: Title Gained – "Younger Brother of Doom."]

[Effect: Every Sister-Type Character Will Now Treat You As A Husband Candidate.]

[Congratulations. Your Life Just Got Worse.]

Rei fainted face-first into a pile of frosting from a detonated cupcake.

The tea garden burned, the brides screamed at each other, his sister hummed serenely, and the world of nobles and demons watching from afar scribbled notes about "marriage diplomacy."

The curtain closed With more explosions, more confessions, and Rei’s muffled cry:

"GODDESS, PLEASE... UNDO THE TRUTH POTION..."

But of course, the nightmare didn’t stop when Rei fainted.

Even unconscious, his body twitched as though his soul itself tried to escape. The brides noticed instantly.

"Look at him... even asleep, he’s adorable," Emilia whispered, already reaching to cradle his head in her lap.

"Back off," Drakana growled, smoke curling from her nostrils. "That head belongs on my thighs."

Velveria’s shadows wrapped the chair like chains. "Neither of you. His dreams are mine."

"Dreams?" Lilia scoffed, raising her holy relic. "I’ll ensure he dreams of matrimony under divine blessing—"

"Correction," Rosette cut in coldly, "he will dream of knives. Planted everywhere for safety."

Seraphina, ever dramatic, lifted her staff toward the sky. "I claim his entire soul as royal territory!"

The entire tea garden erupted in shouting again—over one fainted man in frosting.

And his sister? She just smiled, brushing crumbs from his cheek with a pristine handkerchief. "My, my. You’re all so noisy. Don’t worry, my little husband... I’ll protect your nap."

The brides froze mid-argument, glaring daggers at her.

Rei twitched again in his sleep. His lips moved, whispering faintly.

"Please... no more tea parties..."

[System Notification: Protagonist Has Entered Survival Nap Mode.]

[Sadly, Dreams Are Not A Safe Zone. Good Luck.]

The frosting hardened, the tea cups rattled, and somewhere in the heavens the Goddess Eris cackled, throwing popcorn into her mouth.

To be continued...