Lucy gave me a call right after.

Lunacy: Where even are you? I heard some crazy shit went down in the city. MaxTac’s all over Arroyo.

D: Huh? Still?

No, that couldn’t be right. Besides, why did they care about some dead scavs in Bumfuck, Arroyo?

Lunacy: Still? David, what the fuck happened?

D: Rattled some cages. Let off some steam.

Lunacy: From yesterday? How are you feeling?

D: …Better, honestly. Kinda needed this.

Lunacy: And what the fuck was ‘this’?

000

Rebecca laughed hard at my story. We’d met up in the wrecked remains of Aldo’s warehouse, our former haunt, now turned into a derelict building next to a bunch of blood splotches. Trauma, or maybe the city meatwagon, had taken taken care of all the bodies, and even the rides. Except for my half-exploded Caliburn.

The Murk Mobile.

Not dead. Just… turned ugly. Half her CrystalDome coat was shot to hell, turning a once sleek-black exterior into bars and bars of dead pixels of every color. It was a damned shame.

The whole crew was here. Maine, Dorio, Rebecca, Pilar, Falco, Kiwi, Lucy, and finally, me. I was the last to arrive. Took me a while, too, even after Lucy had told me to come. Had to get all the blood washed off my threads, after all.

“Fuck, D,” Maine said, eyes wide. “All morning long, you were playing a fucking superhero, taking out scavs? You know the news flagged the perp as some kind of cyberpsycho, right?”

I snorted. “Does it matter if they can’t even catch me? Besides, why do they care what happens in Arroyo? They never have, before. And nobody’ll miss the scavs.”

Kiwi tapped at her cyberdeck. “What about the Tygers?”

“Tygers?” Maine asked. Hadn’t gotten to that part yet.

“Was getting there,” I said.

“D,” Maine growled. “Were you fucking with Tygers, too?”

“A little,” I said.

Dorio let out a whistle, and Pilar just cackled. Falco and Lucy looked at me consideringly. Kiwi, not at all. Guess that hole in her chest wasn’t putting her in the mood to chat. No surprise, there.

“Why’d you fuck with the Tygers?” Maine asked.

I frowned pensively for a moment and thought about it. “Think I just needed an excuse or something after what they did in my house, but… it’s more complicated than that, I think. Took out a gig with Reyes to take out this sleazebag by the name of Jotaro Shobo.”

Rebecca jumped on her feet, her eyes sparkling. “No fucking way, choom! You flatlined the Devil of Kabuki?!”

I grinned, and shrugged my head. “Yeah.”

“Preem!” she shouted.

“Who the fuck is he?” Dorio asked.

“The sleaziest joytoy killer in the city!” Rebecca yelled. “He doesn’t just kill ‘em, either! He fucking strings them up and rapes them and sells XBDs of it all. He even tortures ‘em!”

“What about the eighty-five other Tygers besides Jotaro?” Kiwi asked coolly.

“EIGHTY-FIVE?!”

“No, that’s wrong,” I said. “Faced off with some assholes in Rancho, too, not just Kabuki. The real number’s ninety-three.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Like you could hear a pin drop without a problem. I took off my mask and chuckled flatly. “Got a big heart, I guess.”

“The fuck’s that supposed to mean?” Kiwi asked.

I wanted to bite back, but she did deserve an answer.

“I’m strong,” I said, meeting each and every one of the eyes of my choom. “Really strong. So are you guys. You know why people don’t pick fights with gangs like the Tygers? Because they’re strong, too. There’s tens of thousands of those fuckers. They’re built like a fucking corp. They’re Arasaka’s favorite pets. You fuck with them, they’ll fuck with you back.”

“So, what, you have a death wish?” Kiwi asked.

I stared at the table between us, tapping my foot slowly. “I made a point today,” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a fistful of BD virtus. I spread them over the table. “And everyone will see it. And they’ll understand not to go after me. I’m not a corp. Not a gang. I don’t have millions in assets that they can just steal. I’m the least profitable person they could possibly go to war with. It’s all losses and very few wins when it comes to me. And I won’t hesitate to keep pushing and pushing and pushing until the City finally fucking learns.” Then I looked up at all of them again. “Not to fuck with me, or my fucking people.”

Maine slid a box of cigs from his pocket, fished one out and lit it up. Dorio took the box right after, and Pilar reached his arm to take it right after as well.

“Alright, then,” Kiwi said. “Next question: are you cracking on us? Going psycho?”

I chuckled. “Nah. I’m just… being less shy about how I feel. You won’t understand it, Kiwi. None of you really will,” they all were too callous to perceive it, “but… this city is fucking rotten. And I can’t stand that shit anymore. It’s why I went for the scavs first. Why I’ll keep going after ‘em, too. I knew this day would come, one day. Knew I’d eventually have to do this—or something like this. And I think this is where I’m headed. And I’ll understand it if none of you want to follow. Don’t worry about it. I want this smoke. All of it. All the smoke this city can offer. Until it stops sickening me to my fucking core.”

Kiwi snorted, breathing out a plume of smoke from her cig. “Big heart. I get it, now. That’s… fucking weird, honestly, but you do you.”

“That’s a tall dream, kid,” Maine chuckled.

I looked at Lucy, and she was… grinning.

She stood up and went to sit next to me.

Then she gave me a hug that warmed me to my core, and she whispered in my ear, “Finally found your dream, you big gonk? I’m proud of you.”

I faced her, and we kissed.

Then she gave me a call.

Lunacy: Still, that… sounded like a lot. You hurt?

D: Nah. Didn’t use my Sandy all morning, except one time.

Lunacy: Huh? Why?

D: Tell you later. And you can watch my BDs once they get edited.

I had nine for the scavs, and one for Jotaro and the rest of the Tygers.

Lunacy: Strong. My big, strong, boyfriend.

I grinned slyly.

D: You keep talking like that, and I’m liable to blow your mind tonight.

Lunacy: Or you can pretend to blow my brains out? How about it? I’ll roleplay as one of your hapless victims—

Hah!

D: You’re actually fucking insane, Lucy.

Lunacy: Says you!

D: I don’t wanna make you a victim. Actually, I kinda wanna make you someone I rescue, from like this fucked up scav cage with cockroaches and piss and shit everywhere.

Lunacy: Fuck off, that sounds gross!

D: I’m fucking with you, gonk. Just like how I’ll fuck—

“Alright, alright, split it up, you two!” Pilar yelled.

“What, jealous much?” I grinned.

“Fuck off,” Pilar responded sourly, looking away.

We did not split up. In fact, we got even closer just to spite him.

“Fuckin’ insane, kid,” Maine shook his head.

Dorio looked at me in concern. “Hey, kid. Is this something you have to do

?”

I sighed. “I have to.”

Dorio nodded. “Then good luck.”

“Alright, everyone,” Maine said. “Well, I ain’t gonna sugarcoat it, but I just won a fuck-ton of money last night. I’m talking scratch that’ll last me ten lifetimes even if I snort glitter every fucking hour of the day, every day.”

“Sounds like a party!” Pilar cackled. I clapped my hands, as did everyone else.

“Alright, alright,” Maine grinned, holding his hand up.

“What’s your next move?” Kiwi asked. She always did ask the most relevant questions. I could respect that about her, quite a bit in fact.

“No fuckin’ clue,” he admitted.

“I got some idea,” I said. Maine raised an eyebrow. “Reyes told me that Rogue wanted to speak to me. She told me she had intel on those guys who shot you guys up. Corp-types, apparently.”

“Corp-types?” Maine asked. “Who the fuck did we piss off?”

“‘Saka?” Falco offered.

Maine nodded. “Yeah, we did fuck ‘em up real bad with the Tanaka thing.”

“She’ll tell me,” I said. “In, like, six hours.”

“How the fuck did you get her attention, anyway?” Maine asked.

I told them the story.

The reactions were varied. The siblings cackled. Dorio laughed as well. Maine couldn’t believe his ears, and Falco just shook his head with a fond grin. Kiwi stared at her screen and kept tapping away.

Lucy grinned widely at me.

Lunacy: Overachieving gonk.

D: Ain’t all that it’s cracked up to be. She knows my name.

Lunacy: Sounds to me that she likes you.

Didn’t like that at all. Guess I still needed to get her measure before I made any sweeping judgments about her.

“Point is,” I said, trying to reign the conversation back on its rails. “Once she gives me the data, we’ll drive out and root those fuckers out until there’s none left and call it a day.”

“Yes!” Pilar shouted. “You’re the fucking man, D!”

“Kill ‘em all!” Rebecca punched the air.

Dorio shook her head at their antics, while Maine nodded approvingly. “Solid plan, D. Good hustle. That’s my nine o’ clock, I guess—or however long the meeting takes.”

I nodded.

“And after that?” Kiwi asked, looking at Maine. “Retirement?”

Crickets.

She did ask some relevant questions, even if they hurt to listen to. “Maine,” I asked gently. “How much did you win?”

“Thirty-five mill. Then they dragged my shit down to twenty-seven, but that’s good scratch anyway so I ain’t cryin’ about it!” Maine laughed. “How much did you win?”

“Seventy-five mill,” I said. “Minus three from bullshit fees. But, I guess my lawyer was better than yours.” From thirty-five to twenty-seven? Had he still cashed out, because that sounded atrocious, even to me. Maine was being way too chipper about that swindling.

Maine barked out a laughter that managed to shake the table. “Fuckin’ hell, D! Way to go full fucking send!”

“Woulda been a full fuckin’ end if he’d eaten shit at that gorge jump,” Pilar laughed.

“Jesus, Pil,” Dorio clicked her tongue.

“It’s true—AH!”he spasmed as arcs of electricity jumped out from his visor and arms. Lucy’s eyes glowed blue as she glowered at him.

“It’s alright,” I soothed her.

“Guess what, chooms!” Rebecca yelled. “Guess fucking what! Eight mill! Took it down to five, but shit, I ain’t picky!”

“But you said you bet five hundred!” Pilar complained.

“I lied! I bet the cash that my choom sent me back after I lent her some. Twenty-six hundred and fifty. I just said five hundred cuz I didn’t wanna look like I was throwing away edds on nothing.”

“Right,” I nodded. “So I’m just nothing, then.”

Rebecca laughed. “Yesterday? Fuck yeah, you were!”

“Awww, you gotta lend me some, sis!” Pilar pleaded. “At the very least, let’s move out! Let’s move out of that fucking crib!”

“Relax, bro. I’ll put you on a stipend. Ten thousand a month, cuz you’re still my bro and all.”

“Ten thousand?! Are you fucking nuts?! You’re gonna make me risk my life everyday edgerunnin’ and barely eating from making ten fucking thousand?!”

Ten thousand was a lot of fucking money when it came to survival. I wondered if all the people I had saved from scavs today even had ten thousand to pool together.

Rebecca and Pilar kept bickering in such a fashion when I finally caught sight of Falco, grinning quietly, not saying a word.

My gut twisted at that. He hadn’t… bet on me?

I couldn’t decide whether to feel offended or just bad for him. No, I couldn’t feel offended. Until yesterday, that dream of mine had been impossible.

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The only thing that had made it possible was something truly impossible.

The Sandevistan.

I owed him for my win. I owed him a fuck ton more than he could possibly imagine. He was like an early adopter into the firm that was me, and his share would scale as my value rose. I’d never be able to repay him.

I’d get that sorted later. Not right now, though. But the conversation could use some steering away from this braggy topic.

Maine would share with Dorio, but I bet Kiwi hadn’t bet anything on me, either.

I felt considerably less tempted to give her anything.

Our eyes met for a moment, and I looked away, trying not to start anything.

“D,” she said, before standing up to her impressive height of six and a half feet. The hell was going on now? “Thank you. For the Trauma thing.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Wait—that.”

“You saved my life. I owe you. Truth is, a lot of people owe you.” She said it like it was a sad thing. Like I’d somehow shackle her now and drag her ass through ten wars before I was through getting my pound of flesh.

No, that was… way too uncharitable a take.

And also—I didn’t fucking buy her Trauma.

“It’s all good, Kiwi,” Lucy said. “Any of us would have done the same.”

D: Wasn’t it Maine who called Trauma on her?

Lunacy: Maine fronted the cash cuz he won big on you. Everyone here fucking owes you.

D: But she knows, right?

Lunacy: She knows. Truth is, she’s been wanting to make amends with you for a while. She thinks you hate her.

D: She hates me.

Lunacy: She doesn’t, and you don’t. And this seems… like a convenient way to—

We were being quiet for too long. I stood up and looked up at Kiwi’s face and gave her my hand. “It’s… alright, choom. I know I wasn’t the one who made the call, but… I hope you know that I would have made it in a heartbeat even if it was you. I don’t hate you. Truth is, I think you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” Kiwi said easily. “Thought you hated me.”

I grinned. “Takes more than scamming me a couple of times and being a bitch to make me hate you. I’m head over heels for Lunacy over here,” I said, tilting my head at Lucy’s direction. She kicked my leg hard. Didn’t do anything to me, though. I felt a swell of apology for the pain she was likely going through.

And how fucking weird that was. She kicked me!

The fuck was wrong with me.

“I… can’t with you,” Kiwi shook her head and looked away. “You’re way too fucking bright, kid. It’s like staring at the sun or something.”

The fuck was that about? “And… the lessons weren’t all that bad,” I said, trying to smooth over any hurt feelings. “Remember the super-CHOO heist I set up with Reyes? The one where you made me hack into that terminal so we could all get the bonus? You pressed me to get it done within three minutes.”

Kiwi nodded. “I remember. You decided to think outside the box and look for a password instead. Amateur shit, but… you did render results.” She was still looking away from me, speaking in this flat monotone, but… yeah, I could finally see it, now. She didn’t hate me.

Rebecca spoke up. “I also remember you almost fucking dying to the samurai-fuck that used Maine’s Sandy. And me saving your life. Did I ever get a thanks for that?”

I gaped at her. “Yes! Many times! What, you think I’m some sort of ungrateful prick or something?” That near-death experience had directly led me to rethink my entire approach when it came to combat using the Sandy. And as Nanny continued to upgrade my body, making those concerns less and less dire, I kept staying alive.

I did it by keeping cool, like Falco had advised me.

I kept in mind Kiwi’s lessons—both the ones she had meant to teach, and the ones she had ended up teaching unintentionally.

And I owed my lack of fear of guns to Becca, who had eased me into it all, whom I had opened up to about something I didn’t think anyone in the world would understand.

She laughed. “You fucking—you’re way too easy to wind up, you know that?”

I groaned. Right. That was her whole thing.

Winding me up, and being way too preem for me to ever take issue with it. Damn her.

I shook my head. “I’m way too in-my-feelings, right now. This ain’t it, chooms.”

The others laughed.

“It really ain’t,” Maine said.

“What are you gonna do about the Murk Mobile, young buck?” Falco asked me. I felt my mood evaporate slightly.

“You wanna go take a look at her? Just you and me?” Aldo’s barely even had any standing walls after the shit Maine and them pulled yesterday. No ceiling, that was for sure. But it would be privacy enough for my purposes.

We walked out of the warehouse, skipping over a particularly low section of the demolished walls to get to the skeleton of my Caliburn. “Does she drive?” Falco asked.

“Maybe,” I shrugged. “Caliburns are fucking tanks.” Apparently, from the past, a few of the gorge-jump failures had resulted in survivors. That was fucking crazy, given the drops involved. “The ‘paint job’s gonna need some uhh, fixing,” I said. The ‘paint job’ in question was a bunch of dead pixels.

“Eh, CrystalDome’s ain’t worth their weight in gold or nothin’ like that. Just roll ‘em into Rayfield.”

“Not Rayfield, actually,” I shook my head.

“Oh? You still bitter?”

“Yes, actually. They called me poor. In, five fucking languages.”

Falco threw his head back and laughed. “Fuckin’ dicks,” he clicked his tongue.

“You, uh, see that Sport R-7 girl lately?” I asked him.

Falco grinned at me. “Have I seen ‘er? Let me tell you this, brother,” he said as he slung his arm around my neck. “I put that matter to bed.”

I blinked for a moment, then grinned. “Lucky you, man.”

“Took a while cajolin’ her, but that was a part of it all. Woulda hated it if she’d been all gung-ho on the first meet, too. That ain’t how it’s really done. Not if you want it to be real passionate, you feel me?”

I nodded. “I guess.” We stopped before the Murk Mobile, and I continued. “Always nice sleeping with a girl you’ve actually gotten to know, you know?”

“Exactly!” He patted my back. “We met a couple a’ times. Raced a couple a’ times. Pitched a bonfire in the desert and camped out, too. You ever done that with a woman, D? You gotta. Go out there in the badlands and camp out, under the stars.”

“Yeah, but… Wraiths,” I said.

“Eh, you can set up a perimeter. Like a, a digital tripwire. They cross the line, you’ll know. And they don’t go for lone campers, anyhow. Well,” he shrugged. “Some of ‘em do.”

“You met any?”

“Hah. I wish. Woulda been nice impressin’ her,” he said. “Show off my shootin’ chops. Take out a desperado from five hundred yards without blinkin’ with my Neko. Trust me, D. I shoot, but I only drive cuz that’s where I really fuckin’ rule.”

I grinned and nodded. “Sandy’s the only reason why I won, you know,” I said to him. “And… I’m not gonna have that on me forever.” I looked down at the ground. “Sure as fuck can’t keep it running a whole hour like last time.”

“What happened, it ran outta juice or somethin’?”

I chuckled. Then I sighed and nodded. “Yeah, I’ve got some figuring out to do, chrome-wise. But that’s the gist of it. Can’t waste my Sandy on things like that anymore, though. Hiroto was,” I grinned widely. “Hiroto was a fucking monster.”

“Hah!” Falco clapped my shoulder. “Ain’t that the fuckin’ truth. But I’d smoke his ass on the Badlands. See if he can Mountain Pass his way through a fleet of Raffen Shiv while ridin’ a Quadra Type-66.”

Speaking of, I did still need to get on top of getting one. The bike kept me mobile, but the Quadra’s additional trunk space would be invaluable for the coming days as I continued on this newfound purpose of mine.

But this wasn’t about me. It was about Falco.

I turned back to the Murk Mobile, trying to keep myself as nonchalant as possible. “Haven’t seen you cheer much about being able to afford ten of those type-66 now without batting an eye.”

“Lucha-D…” he said.

I turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “What?”

He opened his mouth to speak, but then just sighed. “I didn’t bet on you, kid.”

I frowned at him. “Yeah, you did.”

“I didn’t.”

I blinked in feigned confusion, trying my best to come up with a lie on the spot until something lit up in the back of my mind.

“Wait, shit, you forgot, didn’t you?” My eyes widened.

Falco chuckled. “Forgot about what? Puttin’ a bet on you?”

“You told me I didn’t stand a chance,” I said. “One time, while we were working together. While you helped train me. You told me I’d, and I quote,” and I raced desperately to come up with some kind of Southernism that he would be more likely to identify with: “Kid, you’re about as likely to win as I’m likely to shave my moustache,” he started laughing.

“No way, I ain’t—“

“’So if you want me to bet on you, front your own cash or somethin’.” I completed. “Then you started—” I paused. “Wait, you don’t remember. None of this rings a bell? Well, anyway, you owe me a thousand eddies. And I owe you… three million and ten thousand,” I said.

Which would bring my total expendable cash down to just shy of six million. South of there, really. But that was completely fine, in my opinion. For Falco, I’d give him all nine million if he even asked.

But he wouldn’t, and I just needed him to take the goddamn cash.

Falco narrowed his eyes at me. Then he shook his head. “Didn’t place that bet, myself. Thus, it ain’t mine.”

“Give me my thousand eddies.”

Falco frowned. “What?”

“You owe me a thousand. I fronted you for it, that shit’s mine. Give it to me. You don’t want your winnings, that’s fine, but I’m getting that thousand.”

Falco’s mouth started to widen into this shocked gape that turned into a grin. “Make me.”

I blinked at him. “What?”

“I said make me.”

“I, uh, don’t want to hurt you,” I said.

“Aight, then. Race me for it. The same badlands track.”

I sighed. “Falco, I can’t. I just told you, my Sandy is acting up. I can’t use it like that anymore.”

“Then you lose.”

I frowned. “You’re not gonna make me burn precious minutes for this.”

[The Badlands Derby only took around six minutes.]

D: Still too fucking long.

“Kid, I appreciate the cock and bull story, I do,” he said. “You’re a better liar than I anticipated. Kinda proud of that, given I ain’t seen you lie all that much, and you did it for a good cause. But… That’s a lot of money. And I know you’re flush with it. I know you ain’t hurting for no three million and ten thousand eddies, but… I didn’t believe in you. And I’m sorry about that. I really am.”

I frowned. “What? You think Maine believed in me? Or Becca? They burned money they thought they could lose—“

“They gambled,” the mustachio’d Texan said with a straight face. “They didn’t believe in you. They took a chance. I… woulda bet on you, the way you bet on yourself, if I believed in you as much as you believed in yourself. You made a sacrifice to win. Your Sandy’s near burned out—you don’t even wanna race no more. I shoulda seen that. I shoulda seen the vision, beyond just the… dreamin’ kid that you are. I shoulda believed, and I didn’t.”

It… barely even hurt to hear, actually. I couldn’t think of myself in this situation at all. My esteem didn’t come to mind. My hard work didn’t either. All the work I had done with the algorithm, all the sleepless hours spent slaving over a terminal, cranking up the Sandevistan to churn out tens of thousands of lines of code.

It was hard.

It was nerve-wracking.

It was anxiety-inducing.

And the task was impossible. His lack of belief wasn’t a betrayal. He’d given it his all, too.

And I had transformed that effort into success.

I put my hands on his shoulders. “You did your part, choom. You trained me. Taught me how to drive, damn near. You definitely taught me how to race, though. You and I, we were attached to the hip all last week. If you don’t think you’re worthy of a share, then… no. I can’t accept that. This isn’t charity. This isn’t pity. It’s what you fucking deserve. So take it, before I start to get really sappy.”

Falco chuckled. “I done heard enough sappy shit today to last me a damn lifetime, truth be told. Three mill, you said? But I’m gon’ be honest with ya, if I take that scratch, I don’t know if Imma keep drivin’ for the crew. This is the sorta job you do when you need that scratch fast and don't care how close ya get to dyin' to get it.”

I chuckled. “That’s… hard to hear. But it’s fine, choom.” It was true, though. This was kind of a fucked up job. You did need to be unusually motivated to take it.

He slid his hands into his pockets and let out a low whistle. “Looks like I just stomped the fire outta this shindig,” he drawled, grin carved lazy and bright under the sun.

Then, without turning his head, he cracked one eye open at me, still smiling.

“But don’t you fret none,” he said, “I’ll still play wheelman for tonight’s little hoedown. Every last sonuvabitch that took a shot at us? I’ll make sure they don’t get a second chance.”

I grinned. “Thanks, Falco. You’re a real one.”

Falco gave me his chrome hand. “You’re a good kid, D. You’ll make an even better man, soon.”

I took his hand and shook it. “You’re a good friend, Falco.” One of the kindest people I had met in this city.

Ah, fuck it.

I dragged him in for a hug. I patted him on the back twice, and pulled away, hoping I hadn’t made things awkward.

“Even if you quit the crew,” I told him, “We gotta find something to do, every now and then.”

He grinned brightly. “Hell yeah, pardner.”

000

The festivities with Maine’s crew died down as we eventually all felt compelled to go our separate ways for the time being. The siblings had made up and were gushing about all the cool shit they’d buy for themselves. Maine and Dorio went off with Kiwi for some talk, and Falco had sped away with the remnants of my Murkmobile, citing that he had some contacts in Pacifica that might be able to get the thing fixed without having to deal with Rayfield.

But it did still drive. And rather well, in fact. We’d been taking turns ripping donuts on the parking lot next to the warehouse just to see how the steering had been affected. Surprisingly, even a rocket to the face hadn’t been able to properly destroy the hypercar.

Rayfield begrudgingly had my respect for that.

Very begrudgingly.

I drove Lucy and I home and felt a swell of relaxation replace the sheer fury that had dominated all of my morning. Once we got on home, I collapsed in her couch.

She collapsed right after me, and we cuddled there.

“Alright,” she said softly. “Now… tell me.”

My relaxation loosened my lips. The words spewed forth with barely an effort. “My Sandy’s… running on borrowed time, apparently. Only got like two objective hours left. Add the one-thousand time dilation, and we’ve got two-thousand hours. Sure, that’s ample time, but… it ain’t just that. Nanny’s been keeping my brain straight as well as she can, but there’s something going on with my brain. Whenever I overuse the Sandy, I end up… seeing things. A person. They look different every time, but they’re the same. And I can’t help the feeling that they are pure evil. And that I’m pure evil, by extension. Remember back at the Tyger Claw data fortress?” She gave a tiny nod. “The day after is when it showed up. Told me I was going to hell. After I saw hell that day, back when that Balron kicked my ass. Saw my mom. All the people I killed.” I winced. “Hell isn’t… real. And even if it was, Night City is worse. Because Earth ain’t meant to be all about pure suffering, and yet that’s how we have it here.”

Dammit.

I was getting sucked into this bullshit moral argument of my own making, borne from my own half-understood knowledge of, what, Catholicism?

How helpful was any of that ‘thou shalt not kill’ bullshit anyway?

How much help would it give to normal people?

“I know it’s bullshit, but it shook me up.”

“What does Nanny say?” She sounded almost sarcastic as she said her name.

I looked at her. “She’s above doubt. Seriously.”

Lucy’s eyes pinched together. “No, it’s just… I don’t like sharing you.”

Wait, what? I couldn’t help but laugh. “No, she’s… I don’t even know what she is, but she sure as shit ain’t a woman.”

[Hey.]

D: Shut up.

[I’m not the only one she’s sharing you with.]

My eyes widened and I realized… we did need to talk.

“Lucy, so uh, at the end of the night, Fei kinda—“

“David, don’t,” she said. “I don’t wanna talk about that.”

“Before anything even happened, and I mean anything—besides her coming onto me—I told her I have a girlfriend,” I said. She froze. “I told her I loved you. She understood. She won’t come between us. She’s…” I sighed. “She’s a good person. A good choom. But she’s not you. No one is. So I said no.”

She sat up and looked down at me. I met her eyes unflinchingly. After a few seconds, she whispered, “That wasn’t wise.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t give a shit.” I pulled her head closer to my face and felt at her white hair. “I’d never do anything to hurt you. I’d never sacrifice you for me. Why would I ever do something that nakedly fucking selfish, Luce?”

She brushed my cheek with a sad smile. “Because you have a dream.”

I frowned at her. “Dreams are supposed to make you happy. If I can’t be happy, then what the fuck’s the point? And if I’m hurting you…” I could barely see her through the budding tears. “I can’t be happy. Lucy, I fucking love—”

She enveloped my open mouth with her lips, kissing me more intensely than I had ever felt before. My body felt both rigid and slack at the same time as we melted into one another, chasing each other’s passions, hoping to give as much as we got.

I knew now, about that melancholy I felt the night we first kissed.

The day we had first sealed the deal and made certain our feelings for one another.

Lucy had given her acquiescence with the knowledge that it would have to come with personal sacrifices.

And I had failed to reassure her.

I had failed to let her shine the way she now shone, above me on this couch. I had failed to truly reassure her that she was the only girl for me.

We disconnected for a moment, giving me the opportunity to finally speak. “I’ll never let you go,” I whispered. “Ever.”

I loved everything about her. The sharp edges. The soft ones. The good. The bad.

The fact that she didn’t lie, in a sense. About her feelings, yes. In that sense, she was a huge liar.

But when it came to other things, she was… not even honest, or forthcoming, but she wasn’t a deceiver.

She was good people. She was mine.

We pulled away from one another. Lucy’s eyes glistened. Droplets fell on my face, right underneath my eyes. “I love you, David.”

I gasped, then smiled. “I love you, too.”