Chapter 80

Fragment: The Kuwasu God

Posting the short story of The Feeding God written as thanks for the FA.

Contains spoilers up to volume 2 and developments from the book version.

A story where Uyuu, twenty years later, happens to visit the village of the guardian god of Kuwasu again.

***

A round shadow, more so than the branches of the withered trees, fell on the window of the slow train, and I lifted my face.

Sunlight pierced my eyes, exhausted from staring at documents for too long.

I, who hardly had the chance to read even textbooks, had already gotten used to a life buried in paperwork.

But I still hadn't gotten used to the handwriting on the envelope that read "Mr. Kirima Renjirou."

The train stopped.

I tightly shut my eyes once, then looked out the window. Something like a string of decorative balls hung from the wooden station building. Pink, orange, and purple ball ornaments were densely attached to the leafless branches like buds. Just as I thought they looked like New Year's decorations, a spark of memory flashed.

I thought I heard Ryoko's voice by my ear: "They're Cocoon Balls."

I clearly remembered having the same exchange twenty years ago. It was when I visited for the investigation of The Feeding God with Ryoko. I could picture her wry smile. Seeing that, I thought she looked like an elementary school teacher.

It was a memory from when I was still a fool who knew nothing—when I was Uyuu.

I looked at the old station building and thought I was still lost in reminiscence—but I was wrong.

This was the very village I visited twenty years ago.

Before I knew it, I had dashed off the train.

Though it was a different midwinter than that day, and the mountain once lush with green mulberry leaves had withered away, the station building adorned with Cocoon Balls was unchanged.

"I thought it was a rare business trip, and then this happens..."

The guardian god of Kuwasu was here.

A white, soft-looking silkworm god who helped me many times, even after being captured and used by humans.

Nostalgia made the back of my eyes ache even more.

I exhaled white breath and looked around.

The old man in the indigo-dyed shirt from back then was gone. Of course he was. It's been twenty years. He could easily be dead. The fact that I hadn't changed at all since then was the strange part.

I covered my chapped hands with my mouth and exhaled again, and the white trail fluttered long. It looked like thread.

When I lowered my hands, something white was still tangled between my fingers.

I realized something was wrong. This looked like real thread.

A chill ran through my brain. I shook my fingers as if burned. The thread swayed in the air with the motion of my arm. Unconsciously, I muttered toward the mountain where the mulberry trees grew.

"Feeding God, it's me. Uyuu. You helped me so many times, didn't you?"

Though I was panicking, part of me was calmly thinking that it had been a long time since I'd used my real name. The thread remained tangled.

I called out to the guardian god of Kuwasu over and over, waving my hand. From the side, I must've looked insane.

The thread stretching from between my fingers increased before my eyes, forming a bundle like silk. I shuddered. At the same time, I understood.

The being who lives here is a god who seals away evil gods to protect humans.

"So now I'm the one you've decided to seal away...?"

That might be true.

Since then, I've used The God Who Is There countless times. I haven't aged, and I can remember things from twenty years ago like they were yesterday. I've become something no longer human, in body and soul.

The thread tangled around my fingers kept multiplying, forming a pure white cocoon before me. I knew it was out of place, but I still thought it was beautiful. A dry smile escaped my lips with my breath.

Rather than continuing to use the name Kirima and fighting gods I might never be able to resolve until death, being wrapped in a cocoon might be far easier. As if reading my thoughts, the cocoon swelled.

"So that's how it is..."

Gods are beyond human control.

If the guardian god of Kuwasu had decided to seal me, there was nothing I could do. I reached out with the hand not tangled in thread.

I felt the rough texture of the cocoon.

"Even though you helped me, I ended up like this... I'm sorry..."

Kirima told me too, and yet I couldn't live properly.

The moment I thought that, my heart jumped.

That's right, I still haven't gotten back Kirima or Reizei.

Miyaki Rei still doesn't remember her father. Even now, she continues facing dangerous gods in dangerous places. There's no way I can leave the daughter entrusted to Kirima like that.

The thread pulled my hand.

"No, I still can't go..."

I forcefully pulled my arm back. I didn't care if a bone broke. I didn't care if it was a pathetic plea for life.

"I still haven't lived properly!"

Ignoring my scream, the thread guided my arm and my fingers were drawn into the cocoon.

I hadn't imagined it would feel so soft.

It was like a pure white ball of fluff bounced on the back of my hand.

I knew this sensation.

On the night the countermeasure headquarters was destroyed, before the guardian god of Kuwasu left the blood-soaked ruins, it patted my hand as if to encourage me.

The soft fur wrapped around my hand, brushing my skin again and again as if to comfort me.

The cocoon unraveled, and the white thread vanished from my sight.

All that remained was my white breath filling the wooden station building.

"Feeding God..."

There was no answer, but a light shining through the thin clouds covering the sky traced the ridge of the mulberry tree-covered mountain brightly.

I rubbed my eyes at the pure sunlight.

It seemed I was still a human worth protecting by the guardian god of Kuwasu.

The departure whistle rang out. I hurriedly slipped into the train car.

The moment I sat in my seat full of documents, the train departed.

In the scenery flowing past the window, the Cocoon Balls swayed like the antennae of a silkworm moth.