Their brows furrowed. Then Boom shook her head. “This is too complicated.”

Splat looked to her, and mutely, they exchanged objects. When Boom looked at the screw, she smiled. “This I can do.”

When Splat looked at the cell phone, his eyes widened.

“There’s no chance of damaging anything by duplicating it, is there?” I asked, maybe belatedly.

Splat waved his hand. “Chance. You could get hit by lightning right now, but it doesn’t stop you from standing out here in the open rather than hiding in the burrows like sensible people, now does it?”

“Maybe I should have you try something else.”

“Ah, this is important to you, hmm?”

It actually was a lot less useful than it used to be. But still. “Actually, it comes in two or three parts. Maybe you could try each part separately.” I held out my hand.

He grinned. “As long as I get to try. This is… well, fascinating. So many different materials in there. But it will be easier to do each part separately. How does it come apart?”

“Just give it to me, and I’ll do it.”

I popped the battery out, and handed that to him first. Duplication of batteries would be huge.

“Voila!” Boom shouted. She held two screws, one in each hand.

“Would you hold this, please?” I asked Lysandra, giving her the parts of my cell phone. Then I asked Boom, “Which one is the duplicate, and which one is the original?”

She giggled. “If you can tell, then I’ve failed, right?” She quickly moved her hands back and forth, and then handed me both at once. At that point, even she probably didn’t know which was which.

So I tested both. They both fit perfectly.

“Well?”

“Awesome. But you forgot one.”

“Huh?”

I reached behind her ear, and “found” the “third” screw. Then I showed it to her. “What’s with hiding it?”

“I – I didn’t!” She turned around and looked to Bing. “I didn’t, honestly!”

“Boom,” he said, gravely, clearly disappointed.

“Ha,” I said. “Got you back for the bucket.”

The gnomes started laughing. “You had an extra all along?” Bing asked.

“No.” I showed them the two screws. Then I closed my hands, and showed them there was just one. Then I “found” one in Bing’s ear. With such tiny objects, it wasn’t even challenging, but it seemed to amuse them.

Of course the essence of stage magic is misdirection. In this case, I misdirected myself. Splat grinned. “Well, here you go.” He handed me two cell phone batteries.

“I don’t suppose there’s any point in asking which is which?”

“Of course not. I know, but I’m not telling. But what would be the point? If I told you this one was the duplicate, and you tested it, you wouldn’t know that I hadn’t just switched them. So you have to test both anyway. I assume you have a way of testing?”

I nodded, and put each battery in. The first one worked, but of course it took a while to make sure. Then I tried the second one, and it worked, too.

We went through the same thing with the sim card, and the phone itself. They were beyond Boom’s abilities, but Splat managed to duplicate them. I don’t think I believed it would be possible, but I suppose with magic identical was identical. They even both had my password and my games on them.

“Satisfied?” Bing asked.

“Satisfied.”

“You can only take one of them with you.”

“Both.”

“One. Not budging, Abby. Sorry.”

Behind me, I heard Gren. “Side bets on who Abby takes? The hot chick or the one who can do more?”

“Hot chick,” Lysandra said. “Abby could replenish her mana you know how.” I wasn’t turning around, but I could hear the wink in her voice.

“Yep,” Betsy said. “And she can breed her to make sure there’s more artificers. Do they breed true?”

“I’ll take the other side of that bet, then,” Gren said.

I turned around. “You know, if you’re going to make bets on my actions, could you do it out of my hearing? Now it looks like I’m showing favoritism whatever I choose.”

“That’s okay,” Lysandra said. “You’ll make sure we don’t mind.”

I turned back to Bing. “Splat can do what we need him to do. Sorry, Boom.”

Boom sighed.

“But the only reason I wanted to go was because Boom was going,” Splat said.

Bing shook his head. “And the only reason she wanted to go was to get away from you.”

“That’s not true,” Boom said. “Not entirely, anyway. I want to see the rest of the world! And stuff.”

“Stuff?” Bing asked.

“Stuff,” Boom confirmed, but she didn’t elaborate.

The exchange had given me a moment to think, and the difference between things being duplicated in Abbyland, where I could keep an eye on things, and being duplicated here was looming larger in my mind. “You know, I don’t know that I want to do business if people aren’t allowed to freely travel and go where they want. If they both want to come to Abbyland, they should be able to, and I need both of them. But in return, I’ll appoint a military attaché to stay here, providing you with extra assurance of protection.” And also, keep track of the stuff I sent.

Boom beamed at me.

Bing stared at me for a moment, and then sighed. “You drive a hard bargain. But which of these will you leave as your attaché?” He gestured to my companions.

I’d intended to find some orc or troll who could be paid well to take the job, and I hadn’t any one particular in mind. Inka could certainly manage things, although she might not seem “military” enough for them.

“I’ll do it for a spell,” Betsy said. “At least until you send someone to relieve me. That way Aurea doesn’t have to carry me back, and the two gnomes combined probably weigh less than I do.”

“She certainly looks like she can handle herself,” Bing agreed. “Done.”  He reached out his hand to shake mine.

I thought of the joy buzzers I’d traded to the demons, but his hand looked empty. I took a chance, and shook it gravely. Now to find a discreet way to talk to Betsy before we left.

“I’ll expect a few more dimes coming my way,” Betsy said. “And found, of course. We should talk about that. I need three hots and a cot.”

I managed to wrap my mind around the last thing she said, at least. “You’ll feed Betsy, and give her a place to stay,” I said to Bing. “And we’ll do the same for Boom and Splat?”

“I expect she eats more than the two of them combined,” Bing said.

“I shrugged. “If there’s a third artificer that wants to come with us, to make it even…” I said, letting the sentence trail off.

“Nope!” Bing said quickly. “A deal is a deal! We’ll make sure she gets plenty to eat.”

Betsy grinned. “Now, Abby, let’s talk about my tin.”

“Your what?”

“My pay.” She strode off, and I followed, until we were well away from the gnomes.

“I assume,” she said, “That you want me to keep an eye on them. What, specifically, should I watch out for?”

“Not so much the gnomes per se, but what they do with the stuff I send them to duplicate.”

“Ah. I don’t fit too well in their tunnels, so I don’t know that I’m the best person for that. But I’ll do what I can, and keep my peepers and ears open.”

I nodded. I wasn’t too worried if it was mostly simply hardware that needed to fit together, like screws and plumbing fixtures and things. If the whole world got flush toilets, that was fine by me.

“I’m going to walk home,” Lysandra told me, when we rejoined the group.

“I can’t have you walking home alone, Lysandra.”

“Well, I’m not riding the dragon again.”

“I could go with her,” Gren said. “To keep her safe.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You didn’t like the ride, either?”

Gren scoffed. “No timid troll I! But Lysandra needs protection. We can’t have an elvish princess walking around by herself in the middle of nowhere.”

I sighed. No, we couldn’t. And Gren could certainly take care of herself. I’d feel better about it if they at least had a bike, but they didn’t fit through the opening of the bag, so those were all back in Blowhaven.

“Aurea,” I said.

“Yes?” she purred, knowing full well I was going to ask her for a favor.

“Could you focus on flying, well, gently on the way home?”

Aurea grinned. “Of course.” Her broad wink made it less reassuring.

“Thank you. Lysandra, we’re all flying home.”

Lysandra shook her head. “Unh-uh.”

“Lysandra.” I said, meeting her eyes. “We’re. All. Flying.”

This was it. She had to fly or admit she wasn’t mind-controlled, and I didn’t think there was any way she was going to get on the dragon express again.

Her face turned as white as a sheet. “Yes, Abby,” she said. “I hear and obey.”

Dammit.

Aurea had moved behind Lysandra at this point, and she winked again. Then she transformed from sexy fantasy book cover blonde to a hundred-foot-long reptile with wings.

We all took our places. I let Lysandra pick hers, which was toward the middle. I intended to take the spot right behind her, so I could keep a good eye on her. She had her free will, but now I felt like I’d bullied her into riding, and I felt responsible.

Inka boosted the gnomes up into place. They seemed to think it was all great fun, but of course Aurea hadn’t started flying yet.

“I thought the whole mind control thing was just in her head,” Gren said.

“It is. She’s just really committed to the bit.” I shrugged. “Maybe it’s become real in her own mind, I don’t know. I’m sorry I pushed her, but I was worried about her safety unless I sent everyone with her.”

Gren nodded. “Well, let’s do this.” She climbed on next to Valeria and Inka, and rather than climbing I used Dimension Step to get to my chosen spot. I got a pillow out of my bag and wedged it between me and the scale behind me, and then wrapped a blanket around the scale in front.

“Lean forward a second, Lysandra. This will make it more comfortable.”

She leaned and twisted so she could talk to me. “Doesn’t walking sound like a good idea?”

I shook my head. “Don’t worry. If you fall I’ll catch you. I can teleport, remember?”

“But who catches you?”

“I’ll just keep teleporting. I have a lot of mana these days.” If I teleported straight down over and over, I could probably avoid reaching terminal velocity. I raised my voice. “Aurea, could you not fly too high, either?”

No answer. Should have had that discussion with her when she was in human form.

“She’s not going to, you know.” Lysandra’s words came in a rush. “She’s going to go way up, so that the gnomes are just dots. If nothing else, she doesn’t want anyone to be able to shoot arrows at her. And then she’s going to try to break her old record. You heard her say that earlier, didn’t you? And she’ll probably do a loop around Blowhaven, just to show off. I think she likes scaring people. Oh no, here it –”

The rest of her words were drowned out. The dragon ran forward, gathering speed like an airplane on a runway, before leaping into the air and then flapping her mighty wings.

I spent the next two hours watching Lysandra clutch the scale in front of her in terror. Oddly, for me it wasn’t as bad as the first time. Partially because I knew what to expect, partially because I’d made myself more comfortable, but also because I knew I needed to be calm for Lysandra. Every once in a while she’d turn slightly to look at me, and I had to smile reassuringly and look like I didn’t have a care in the world.

When we landed, a bunch of female goblins rushed us. I thought for a moment that Aurea was going to breathe on them, but she just glared. I wanted to take care of Lysandra, who got off and slid down the dragons flank like it was a slide, landing in a most undignified, unprincess-like way on her butt in her rush to disembark, but the moment I teleported to her side the goblins surrounded me.

“Abby! You have to do something! It’s like a nightmare!” Maggie screamed at me.