“Do you think she’s going to be okay?” Gren asked me, anxiously, as we rode through the forest. “She may be stupidly strict in how she looks at things sometimes, but I like our paladin of pulchritude.”

“She’s our best chance for ending this thing peacefully,” I said.

“But if we end it by fighting, you’ll have a huge zombie army,” she pointed out. “With a few high level undead to serve as lieutenants. You wouldn’t have to be everywhere.”

Yeah! That’s the stuff!

“What are you saying?” I asked, sharply.

“I’m not saying it would be a good thing. I’m just saying there would be an upside. We won’t lose, Abby. I won’t let us.”

“We might not lose. But we would lose people in a fight. And from what Valeria said, they’ll have plenty of healers – some who don’t even have to touch the person they heal. Fighting them won’t be easy, even with all our tricks.”

“Nothing worthwhile ever is.”

Just when I start to like her, she says stuff like that. The best things in existence come easily, taken from foes who realize in despair they never had a chance just before you end their pointless little lives.

Well, if we lost, at least Enash would be gone forever. There was an upside to everything, I supposed.

Valeria had a radio, carefully concealed. I had mine clipped to the handlebar, ready for messages. The longer it took, the more anxious I got. When we got to the rendezvous point we’d agreed on, Xyla was waiting for us, but I was tempted to assume the worst and go in after Valeria. I decided I’d wait an hour.

Kathy dropped from the sky and joined us.

Fifty-five minutes into that hour, the radio crackled.

In a low voice, Valeria said, “Plan B. I’m on my way, with company. General Varsho will talk to you. No answer.”

I took a deep breath. No answer meant not to reply, probably because people could hear me if I did. And “with company” probably meant that it was more than just the General, since otherwise it was redundant. And of course Plan B meant that the General wasn’t going to turn back.

Xyla and Gren hid in the trees. Kathy took to the air, where she couldn’t be seen through the tree cover. Of course, she couldn’t see us, either, but if something went wrong we could yell. With my Dimension Step ability, I could get myself out of most jams, and Valeria wouldn’t be bringing them to me if she thought I’d be in too deep. I put on a cloak that covered everything, over one of my black dresses. The cowl was pulled low, so that my face was in shadow. Then I waited.

There were ten of them. Eight of them wore plate armor, and were armed with swords. One wore a robe. The tenth, of course, was Valeria, stripped of her armor and her weapon.

Valeria nodded in the direction of one of them, so I knew he was the leader.

Polymorph.

“General Varsho, leader of the armies of L’Shan,” Valeria said. “And Queen Abby of Abbyland.”

“Better known as the Uber Archfiend!” Varsho said with clear distate.

I tossed the hood of the cloak back. I wondered what I looked like, because I didn’t have a mirror and I didn’t feel any different. Hopefully the spell worked the way I thought it would, and I now was their leader’s ideal woman. “General Varsho,” I said. “An honor and a privilege to meet you. What brings you to our peaceful forest?” I didn’t turn on the charm, magical or otherwise, although of course I couldn’t do anything about Special Attraction. Still, I didn’t want to act like a seductress, or they’d get suspicious.

“The destruction of evil.”

“Am I evil, General?” I asked.

“She doesn’t detect as such,” said the man in the robe. A couple of the armored people agreed.

Varsho frowned. “You have some sort of magic that resists detection.”

I did at that. Fortunately, it also resisted lie detection. “I am here to protect the people of this region, and the forest. I would prefer to do so without bloodshed. I fail to see how any of that is evil.”

“She’s got a point,” said one of the armored people.

“You forget,” said the General. “That she practices necromancy; that she is the Uber Archfiend, consorting with devils; and that she marries and sleeps with other women.”

I really wasn’t sure how the third fit in, but normally people put the biggest point last.

“Really, General. It is true that I played a little prank on the demons, and that they fell for it, but that hardly makes me evil. No one is more interested in you understanding that than I, so if there’s anything I can do to make it so that you know that I am not lying, and not evil, I am willing to do that.”

His eyes narrowed. “One of us would have to touch you,” he said.

I sighed. “If that’s what must happen, it must,” I said. “But only you, General. If someone else does it I think you won’t believe them.” What man didn’t want to be told that a beautiful woman – and I was the most beautiful woman possible in that moment, to him  –   wanted to be touched by only him? I did nothing to make it a come on, but I was sure at least a part of his mind would interpret it in the way that fed his ego most.

“It could be a trap,” said a woman, one of the armored knights.

“If she violates the parley,” the General said, taking off his armored glove. “Take all appropriate action.”

“I hope,” I said. “That merely touching my hand is sufficient.”

“It works best if I can touch you, uh, touch you close to your heart.”

Valeria had briefed me on all of this, of course. I shrugged off the cloak. My dress didn’t show a lot of cleavage, because I wanted to appear at least somewhat modest, but it showed some.

His hand shook as he reached out. My lips quivered, but not because I was blushing so much as I found his hesitation kind of funny.

He put his hand on my chest.

I was gambling, of course, that my powers to avoid detection were more powerful than his method of overcoming them. But no matter what, I wasn’t evil, unless I’d crossed some line recently.

I was about to cross some lines.

Sexual Empathy.

While he searched my heart for darkness, I explored his libido. He liked big breasted blondes, so I supposed that was what I looked like now. He was a tit man, primarily. He liked the idea of having several wives, all devoted and faithful to him – typical harem fantasy stuff, although I couldn’t tell if he was already married or not, or how many times.

There was a little bit of him that was interested in sex with men, which he was ashamed of. And the shame only made it hotter for him, but it wasn’t an obsession.

He pressed his hand more firmly, compressing the top curves of my breasts. I wondered if that was really necessary, but I was pretty sure he was just doing it because he liked boobs. I probed more.

He had fantasies about his wives making out, and he felt shame about that, too. Ah. Something to work with, there.

Imbue Fetish.

“You seem to be good,” he said. I wasn’t sure whether he meant my boobs or my alignment.

“I mean to do only good in the world,” I said, honestly. “And I don’t wish to fight you.”

“But fight we must,” he said. “Unless you surrender.”

“If we fight,” I told him. “Then I will win.”

“Surely she lies, there,” said one of the knights.

“She does not,” Varsho said. “Which only means she believes it. But we have our orders, and we will carry them out.” He gave me a squeeze, which was completely gratuitous. “Such a waste.”

“More than a handful?” I teased. I couldn’t resist.

He pulled his hand back. That was okay, I was done with it anyway.

“I have one request, General, and I don’t think you’ll object to it.”

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Pray to L’Shan, and ask for guidance, as to whether women sleeping with women is truly the sin that you think it is.”

He frowned. “Ridiculous.”

I shrugged. “If you are afraid to even talk to your god about it, then perhaps you already know you are wrong.”

“Very well,” he said. “I will pray.”

“Sometimes,” Valeria said. “L’Shan answers in dreams.”

“It is not too late for you to turn back and take your punishment, Valeria,” Varsho told her.

“I shall live and die with Queen Abby,” Valeria said. “I have sworn an oath.”

“You have sworn other oaths.”

“And my greatest oath is to L’shan, and Him I will serve,” Valeria said.

“So shall we both,” Varsho said. “Even if it means we meet in battle.” He stepped back. “Send a messenger if you choose to surrender. It is not too late to avoid carnage.”

“It is not,” I said. “But the responsibility for avoiding it is yours, General. You, and you alone, can stop this.”

“We are at war, your majesty. And we fight very well.”

I didn’t expect much better. Imbue Fetish would take time to work. A month to take full effect, but we didn’t have that long. It wasn’t a lot to pin our hopes on.

We could hope for peace, but we would have to prepare for war.

Valeria got on the back of my bike, and we biked away until we were sure we were well away from the enemy. Then, Kathy flew down to join us. Xyla, of course, had no problems keeping up.

“Should I start picking them off?” Gren asked. Xyla grinned.

I hesitated. War meant death. Casualties could demoralize an enemy, but they could also enrage them and make it harder to compromise.

“We are at war,” Valeria said. “There is nothing dishonorable in fighting, or dying for a cause. We should do whatever we can to improve the odds.”

I was surprised at her. But best case, how many could Gren kill? They’d heal anyone who she only wounded. Worst case, I’d be risking Gren. Leave aside that she was pregnant with my child, she was an important part of my army. And the likelihood that what she could do by sniping would turn the tide of the war, if it came to a full out fight, was not large.

“No,” I said. “Not yet, anyway. Not unless it’s more than just Gren. Jill cleaned two stores out of compound bows, and we have thirty of them or so. We need to train people – trolls, orcs, maybe Lysandra –  in using them, and Gren would be the best at that.”

“And me,” Kathy said. “Train me. And then I’ll learn to use it from the air.”

Gren grinned.

I made a snap decision. “Kathy, would you take Gren back to base? Valeria and I will ride, but she’s got to get started. Get Zargaza and Gavabar to send some trainees. If they want war, we’ll give them war.”

The radio crackled. “Abby?” It was Lysandra’s voice.

“Yes?”

“A traveling Naga brought Zargaza news of an approaching demon army. Zargaza requests help, although she’s aware of the situation with the army of L’shan.”

Nagas? That was a thing?

I thought quickly. “Kathy, take Gren to the orc village instead. I’ll have Kendala ride there with Lysandra and a bunch of bows, and the trainees can meet there. I don’t know that we can afford to fight the demons, but at least it will give us options. We have a few days, anyway, before we’d need troops back at the crypt.”

“Aye, aye, ma’am,” Kathy said.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “Would you please bring Gren to Zargaza’s village?”

“It’s alright, Abby. You’re the Queen, I get it. Ready to fly?”

Gren shook her head. “Never. But she’s the Queen, so let’s do it. If you drop me, I’m going to shoot you as I fall.”

“I won’t drop you,” Kathy said. Leathery wings sprouted from her back, and she put her arms around Gren. A few moments later she was airborne, and Gren looked like she was going to puke.

“We can’t fight a war on two fronts,” Valeria said. “It’s one of the first rules of warfare.”

I nodded. “Yeah. Although there’s this thing Napoleon did a few times, called the strategy of the central position. You fight each army in turn, aiming at a decisive victory against one before turning on the other. And we have one advantage over Napoleon.”

“What’s that? Not that I know who Napoleon is.”

“Our enemies don’t like each other, and wouldn’t dream of coordinating. If only we had a traitor. But the paladins would see through a fake traitor instantly.”

“Huh?”