Instinctively I was on the side of cute cat girls against goblins. And Betsy, who I liked, was with the cat girl, even if they didn’t seem to get along horribly well.

On the other hand, it seemed very likely that the cat girl and her friends had already taken out two troll scouting groups. That was from before the trolls were my people, and before a bunch of them had tried to attack Xyla and her forest. Maybe they weren’t my responsibility, but it was a reminder that Shizuka wasn’t some nice cuddly house cat in human form. If she could spread the word that her home was haunted by murdering a few trolls, she was apparently okay with that.

“Well,” I said. “Make yourselves comfortable.” I gestured to the park bench. I wanted to find Val and ask her whether they were evil or not. I kept telling myself I didn’t believe her little spell, but I still wanted to know.

“But this matter is urgent, Abby,” Shizuka said.

But before I took more than a step, Hornung moved to intercept me. “They aren’t evil, any of them,” he told me. “Nor are they lying.”

“Right.” You couldn’t throw a stick in Blowhaven without hitting someone who could detect lies. “Um, thanks.”

God, doesn’t the stench of paladin make you sick after a while?

“Urgent or not,” I said, “We’re talking about it sitting down. Gren, can you get Kendala to serve us some drinks, and round up anyone who might have something to say about this?” She’d know who I meant.

“No sooner said then deeply done,” Gren said.

“As the bishop said to the actress,” I replied, to blank looks from everyone.

“Bishop?” the captain asked. ᴛʜɪs ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ɪs ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇ ʙʏ novel·fiɾe·net

“It’s a long story, and off-color. You wouldn’t like it.”

Everyone was still confused, and it wasn’t like I could tell them to look it up on the internet. I dropped it and joined the others at the table. Well, most of them were at the table. The centaur and the naga couldn’t really sit down.

“It’s nice to see you again, Betsy,” I said. “How’s life treating you?”

“Jes’ fine, pardner,” she said. “And you?”

“Peachy keen,” I said. Okay, I could have moaned about losing my world, my house, and my truck. But you can’t make a country-western song unless you lose your girlfriend, too, and if you end it by bragging about your harem, it just isn’t the same.

“We don’t have time for chit-chat,” Shizuka said.

“Alright. How many goblins are there.”

“Hundreds. Thousands, maybe.”

“And how many of you?”

“A hundred or so now. We’ve lost … people.”

“I’m sorry for your loss,” I said.

“Sorry enough to do something about it?”

Well, she was direct, and I could appreciate that.

People started assembling. One of Captain Hornung’s soldiers passed around shawls to the visiting women who had their chests bared. I rolled my eyes.

See how they mess everything up?

For once, I agreed with Enash.

“Is our manner of dress forbidden here?” asked a wolf girl.

“It’s –” started the guy handing out the shawls.

“Nope,” I said, talking over him, “Not at all. We have no rules against nudity of any kind.”

“Well,” said Shizuka, “in that case.”

I couldn’t see, because she was on the opposite side of the table, but from the way her arms moved and she shimmied, I was pretty sure she was taking off her skirt.

“So, we have a problem,” I said. “In that we need lumber, and we need a source for it other than the forest to the south.”

Shizuka’s eyes flashed. “Perfect.”

“Hmm?”

“You can slaughter all the goblins, and take their forest, and chop down all their trees,” she explained. “Everyone wins.”

She’s right, you know.

“Uh, no. Not what I had in mind. If I’m going to protect the forest you live in, we need to be able to get lumber from it, in a sustainable way.”

“Sustainable?” she asked. “What do you mean?”

“I mean we won’t take any more than grows there naturally, and we’ll even help replant new trees to replace the mature ones we take.”

“That’s a lot of work when you can just slaughter goblins and take their trees.”

I shrugged. “War is a lot of work, too. The point is, I protect my own.”

“Hmm?”

“And so if I’m going to protect you, it’s because you’re my people. Part of, um, Abbyland.” The name still felt immodest, and I struggled with it.

“You want to own us,” Shizuka said, hissing the last part.

“No. I want to have rights in your forest, if I’m going to protect your forest’s people.”

A wolfgirl said, “You want to be the head of our pack.”

“Sure,” I said.

“I’m in charge,” Shizuka said.

I looked up as Kendala put some cold water from the fridge in front of me. “Thank you, love,” I said, and kissed her on the cheek. I worried that I took her service for granted, but at times like this it was very convenient, and from the look on her face there was nothing she’d rather be doing. She moved on to pour a glass for Shizuka next and then moved clockwise around the table from there.

“We can debate it, if you like,” I said. “But I just don’t see a reason for me to get involved right now.”

Shizuka frowned. “We came prepared to offer you some of our men. We, um, didn’t realize…” she looked around. Valeria sat to my left. Lysandra to my right. Both of them leaned into me in a way that was scarcely platonic.

Gren, I noticed, was moving around, talking to our visitors in hushed tones. I don’t know what she was up to, but now and then one of them would look at me, and then look back at Gren with their eyes wide, and she’d nod. Maybe she was telling them all about my victory over the orcs or something.

“I don’t want any of your men, although I expect that if I’m going to fight for you, and bring trolls and orcs to do the same, that you’ll fight for me and them if we’re threatened.”

“That seems like all that should be needed for our help,” Shizuka said.

“There are only a hundred of you,” I pointed out. “And there are many more of us. No. We’ll pitch in to help you in other ways, too, but we need both your promise of mutual aid, and the right to use your forest for its resources, in a sustainable way.”

“People don’t log sustainably,” Shizuka said. “They just keep going and going.”

“Not while I’m in charge, they don’t. If you agree, your forest is mine, and you are my people. And I protect what’s mine, whether it be a forest or people.”

You know, you wouldn’t have these problems if you just took charge of the little green slut and made her agree to the same deal.

Name-calling aside, I knew he wasn’t completely wrong, and that I was going to great lengths to avoid pissing Xyla off. But my deal with Xyla was the oldest of all agreements I had made, and I intended to keep my promises. Especially those made to the women I loved.

Shizuka looked around and sighed. “We need to talk amongst ourselves,” she said.

I nodded. “Go ahead.” I pointed at the future site of Jill’s schoolhouse. “We’ll let you talk in peace, privately, over there.”

They got up as a group, and followed Shizuka, who was, as I suspected, completely naked.

“Should I listen in?” Gren asked.

I shook my head. “No. What have you been telling them?”

She grinned. “About your colossal cock, of course.”

I groaned.

“Honestly,” Val said. “What did you expect she’d be talking about?”

I just want to note that giving you a really big penis was totally my idea. You’re welcome.

He’d intended it for himself, so I didn’t’ see why he expected me to be thankful.

“I’ll get closer,” Gren said. “And see if I can hear some. It would be useful to know which beastkin b-, b-, which ones like us and which don’t.” She didn’t wait for me to say yes but moved to the far end of the table.

She was right, of course, and it was the first time I’d heard her stutter to try to come up with an alliteration.

“Your uberness,” Bapho said. “This is the perfect time to get their help in destroying the goblins, and then afterwards you can turn on them. They are few, so they would be easy to betray and enslave. Beastkin are valued as slaves and sell for significant prices.”

“No. Captain Hornung, you look like you have something to say.”

“Just that it seems the right thing to do to protect them, but we need to teach them to wear clothes.”

“So, violence is good, but nudity is where you draw the line?” He sounded like a television censor.

“Well, yes,” Captain Hornung said. “It’s not that bodies are evil, of course, but the display of so much naked female flesh can only be an incitement to lustful thoughts and behavior.”

“Excellent,” Delilah said.

Hornung glared at her. She smiled back, licked her lips, and winked.

“Val, what do you think?”

“I think you have my sword and my support for whatever you choose to do,” Valeria told me.

“Lysandra?”

“You have my bow,” she said. “And my body, of course.”

“Lesseth?”

She popped up half way out of the bag. She was bright red today, but I noticed that her breasts were particularly well defined. Usually she didn’t bother with nipples, and I wondered if the extra detail was to tick off Hornung. “I think we want to get access to both forests, if possible, yes? But at least one. Perhaps you should let Zargaza and Gavabar know that their forces might be needed soon?”

“I can tell Jill to radio them,” Kendala said. Jill was still inside the house, teaching a class on weaving, which she herself had just read about that morning. I suppose that meant the material was fresh, and I admitted we didn’t have a better way to disseminate the skills Abbyland needed.

I shrugged. “Until I know we’re going, I don’t want people or even zombies being pulled from working on buildings or farms or whatever, because that’s valuable too.”

“I don’t have to tell you,” Kathy said. “That we need the wood.”

“Abby has all the wood I need,” Lysandra said.

Shizuka walked back, followed by the others. The view from the front was as good as the view from the back, and she had a hip-swaying, prowlish stride to her. She had a strip of pubic hair, neatly trimmed or maybe it grew that way, but it went all the way to her belly button. I wasn’t going to stare long enough to decide what I thought of that look.

“We accept,” she said. “We will become your people, and our forest will become part of Abbyland, in exchange for you killing all the goblins with us, and for mating with three of us.”

“That wasn’t the deal I offered,” I said.

“Which three?” Gren asked.

“Myself,” Shizuka said. “And your choice of the rest from Lupina, Vixen, Betsy, and Ssssalith. She indicated a wolfgirl, a foxgirl, Betsy, and the naga. I wasn’t sure how the last was even possible.

“And they will be at a fertile time when she does it?” Gren asked.

“Of course,” Shizuka said.

“Wait. I didn’t agree to any of that,” I said. I stood up, because I didn’t like negotiating while looking up.

“You don’t want Abby junior growing up with no one to play with,” Gren said.

“Zargaza is pregnant,” Kendala pointed out. “And she can breed me, if she wishes, of course. Many others would volunteer.”

“You become my people,” I said to Shizuka, “and the Haunted Woods becomes part of Abbyland, and I will stop the goblins from invading the Haunted Woods. No promises on what I will do with them once I protect you and your lands.”

Shizuka moved forward. “And the mating,” she said. She brushed her hard nipples against my chest. I could smell her heavy scent – not bad, just strong, a mixture of sweet and tangy.

I thought Shizuka was attractive, and the fox and wolf girls were cute, too. Sorry, Betsy. And if my people’s future was at stake, I wasn’t going to draw the line at sex. But the situation rubbed me the wrong way. They needed us a lot more than we needed them.

“No. If you’re going to throw your people’s chance at rescue away for sex, I’m not interested.”

Shizuka glanced at the others, who shrugged at her.

“Do you not find me attractive?” she asked.

“I’m not saying I won’t, I’m just not making it part of the deal.”

“Ah.” She grinned, and closed all the distance between us. “Done. Seal it with a kiss.”

I opened my mouth to suggest a handshake, but she was fast, and opening my mouth was all she needed. Her tongue was rough, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Just very textured. She was a good kisser, and her body pressing against mine was good in every way.

The beastkin cheered.

“Would you like some clothes?” One of Hornung’s warriors asked. “Or perhaps the use of a room?”

Shizuka pulled back. “I am not yet in heat,” she said. “And besides, we have more urgent things to take care of. Fighting, then mating.”

If she kissed like that when she wasn’t in heat, I was curious to find out what she kissed like when she was. But she was right.

“Kendala, get Jill on the radio. We’ll get as many troops as we can get to meet us a half mile northeast of the end of the north road.” There wasn’t space to assemble an army in town, and besides, it would make us closer to the action. “I’ll take care of getting the zombies there, of course. But Gren and Valeria, could you oversee the living?”

“How long will all this take?” Shizuka asked.

“It might take most of the night. We’ll be ready to march in the morning, I’m hoping.”