CHAPTER 435: SEPARATION

DAEMON’S POV

"So for one year, I can’t be your wife, Daemon. Or your Queen."

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t expecting that from her. Not when he clearly saw the anguish and grief etched to every crevice of her.

She might have survived this, but her spirit remained broken. After all, he knew better than anyone what the pain of losing a mother felt like. Especially when it involved a sacrifice.

Ameneris had sacrificed her life for Zina. And while he was more than glad that meant she was alive, he knew better than anyone that he had to deal with the repercussions that came with this piece of good news.

As much as it pained and teared at him, he knew Zina simply wouldn’t recover from this wound simply by sheer will. Hell, he hadn’t forgotten about the woman whom he crawled out of her belly after twenty-eight years, and that said a lot.

But he didn’t want them to look at the past anymore. So far as he could be with Zina, he was willing to let go of everything. And he was willing to pay the cost.

So he held onto her hand like she was his lifeline, because she was his lifeline. Their mate bond might have broken and seemed barely present, but the feelings they shared remained. It went beyond a mere bond and ordinary understanding.

"I shall mourn with you then," he almost pleaded, "I know better than anyone how much pain this has caused you—how much it still causes you, so I will be with you every step of it."

Her lips wobbled uncontrollably and then she hugged him hard... wailing even harder.

"Why are you suddenly so understanding of me?" She wailed, her voice muffled from where her head was pressed against his neck, "You are yet to shout, scream, yell at me! You’re yet to show how much I must have hurt you! So why... just why are you being so good to me when I’m undeserving of it."

"Because you’re deserving of every inch of it," he growled, hugging her back harder, "it’s my fault for not eliminating every trace of doubt that you have. For not proving to you with a thread of doubt that you’re the most deserving. But it’s not too late to start, is it?"

He felt her nodding against him. "I also want to be with you. To prove to you that you’re the most deserving," she said, hiccuping badly against him, "But Daemon, you have a kingdom to repair. I on the other hand have a mother... to mourn. I hope to ask for her forgiveness, and to find healing in the process. Because you deserve a partner whole, and not broken. So don’t ever be that Alpha King who will leave everything behind for me. Don’t ever be that Alpha King, Daemon."

He gripped her harder, hating the voice of reason that she was. Just like that Theta who always advised him, Zina hadn’t changed a bit.

He didn’t want to listen. He wanted to drag her back to the North and confine her within her palace walls, to hell with what she wanted. He wanted to make sure that every single hour, minute, second, she was standing right before him. But because he loved her, he knew he could not do that to her.

There was no way he could deprive her of the space and time to heal from this trauma. Doing that would make him no less a beast, and it would only break her more.

Wasn’t it funny how he had become a slave to love? Who would have thought a day like that would come.

"I will not be that Alpha King then." He gritted instead, when he wanted to say the opposite.

She slowly disengaged from the hug, gazing at him. "I have no right to ask this of you," she said hesitantly, "it is probably most shameless, but I must ask; will you wait for me? Just for one year, will you wait? I promise... I will come back to you better and more whole than I am now, so will you wait?"

He wiped her tears with his thumb. "I suppose out of the both of us, I am the most shameless because I can wait for ten, twenty years. Not to mention just a year. But I have my conditions; regardless of the fact that Ameneris was from the West, your mourning will take place in the Temples of the North."

She smiled. "I wasn’t planning on ever leaving home." She said, and his heart did a weird dance.

Home. She had always seen the North as her home, their home.

He clenched her jaw loosely, gazing into his eyes with a hungry stare. "And even though we must officially separate now, you and I shall remarry after your mourning period." He warned. "Do not even think this is a medium to escape me and elope with some younger man struck by your beauty."

She chuckled, although her easy expression was unable to mask the pain in her eyes. A pain he would pay anything to wipe away.

"I do not believe anyone would find me marriageable," she teased, "Regardless, I would rather remain a nun at the Temple than remarry."

A strange silence settled between them for seconds while they remained staring at each other. He swallowed, the thought that he would not see her for almost four hundred days clawing at his heart.

The path ahead certainly wasn’t going to be easy, but he would keep himself busy in the meanwhile. For everyday Zina was away, Rowan and his Master would feel the weight of his rage.

She touched his arms tenderly, a soft smile on her lips. "Even though I will be mourning at the Temple, I shall also help you rebuild the North."

He clutched her hand back. "Won’t you find that too hard?" He asked.

She shook her head. "Not at all. Or have you forgotten that before becoming your wife, I was the mighty Theta of the North? I will always hold the rear for you, your majesty. All you need to do is forge ahead bravely, knowing I have your back."

He smiled, his heart aching something bad. They were not separated yet, but he was already feeling homesick.