CHAPTER 626: SOUL SEARCHING

I and the rest of my men went on their horses ahead.

It was currently dark and I was clouded by the fact I had forced my sister to her own death.

I was torn between being a brother and being an Alpha.

Torn between serving justice and loving his bloodline.

But I knew what was right.

What i had to do.

Still couldn’t shake away the fact that Anna had been so terrible to so many people.

I wanted to know why she had done all the things she had done.

But I knew I would never get a solid answer.

Even if she did give me one, I would never be satisfied.

Because how the hell could she be capable of such things?

It baffled me!

Mother was NEVER like this.

So how was my very own sister molded to be this way?

To hate and despise.

As the cold night breeze went past my body, I wondered if my parents would be proud of me for the decision I made.

I was angry and hurt that Anna had taken away my own child.

I felt betrayed!

She had betrayed her own blood.

For the first time in my life since I had watched my mother die, I felt the tears at the corner of my eyes.

I was an Alpha.

I wasn’t supposed to show such emotion.

So I quickly swallowed and bat my eyelashes over and over just to make the tears disappear.

I turned and looked at Erik wondering how he felt.

He was Anna’s destined mate.

How did he feel that she had now been sent on a death table.

Because she wasn’t going to be killed.

She was going to be kept immortal for a thousand years of torture until she was finally killed.

That meant for the rest of Erik’s life, he would still be mated to her.

Never be able to find another mate until she died.

And Erik was going to die before her.

I started to think of the times Erik had been avoiding Anna.

And the memory of how she had announced that they were mates.

Later discovering that Fiona and Erik was in love.

When the entire time I had thought that Erik was in love with Jasmine.

I shivered at the thought of Erik and Jasmine together.

And I was filled with shame.

To think that I had imagined wrong.

In fact most of my assumptions were always wrong.

I wanted to bury my head in shame.

Erik looked at me and our eyes made contact.

I quickly turned away.

He sighed at me and then drew his horse closer to mine.

He gently nudged my shoulders. "Hey. How are you holding up?"

I gave a light nod. "Fine."

He gave a weak smile.

"I should be asking you that." I pointed out.

He gave a light shrug and said nothing.

We hadn’t said a word to each other throughout the journey back.

I heard an owl hoot in the night sky and looked back up at the full moon.

"You’re never going to have a mate again." I pointed out to him.

He held the reins to his horse firmly.

"I’ve made peace with that." He said. "It’s better not having a mate than ever being with Anna."

I felt as though I had been stabbed.

I had sentenced her to death but she was still my sister.

"Sorry about that." Erik added silently.

I rose a brow to acknowledge it was fine.

"But you know something?" Erik asked me. "Anna. I knew all the things that she had done. Things she was capable to do. And I wonder sometimes if she could have ever changed. If she could have been different. Was it because of how she was raised? Or was it a flaw to her system? I don’t know. But I’ll like to believe that she could have changed."

I looked down at my hands.

The few months we had had together.

She had shattered it.

Destroyed it.

Everything she had shown.

Everything she had done to me, was all a lie.

She had murdered not just members of my pack. But hers too. Our parents. She desecrated everything our parents had built.

Her and that godforsaken Uther who had tried to take over my pack.

All under the guise of being a helpful person.

When this entire time he wanted my name for himself.

My fists clenched in rage. "No. There was no changing. She was a monster. And she would die a monster."

And then after that I gripped the reigns of my horse and rode off.

Once we were hours away from the pack, I halted at a lake I was familiar with.

The encourage stopped.

I came down from the horse and Erik did.

It was only Erik who had ever come out here with me before.

"Stay here." i said to my men. "I would return."

I started to head towards the lake when my men grumbled.

"We can’t let you go just like that." They argued.

"I’m fine." I said. "I just need to see someone in private."

"No Alpha. Considering all the terrible things that have happened we can’t trust you to go off on your own." One Beta said.

I was about shout an order and when I looked into under eyes I instantly knew what they were thinking.

They believed I was going to take my life.

They didn’t trust that after what I had went through I would still want to stay alive.

And to be fair they did have a point.

I had considered it but suicide was a coward’s way out.

They only cared about me and there was no harm in doing that

I sighed heavily.

"Fine." I said and grabbed Erik’s arm. "Erik here will come with me."

They whispered amongst themselves.

"If anything happens. If after two hours I don’t return then you can come looking for us agreed?" I asked.

They seemed reluctant but eventually nodded their heads.