CHAPTER 90: OUTGROW IT... OR NEVER.

"Are you alright? You’re zoning out."

Lola’s mouth fell open, utterly dumbfounded by where her mind had just taken her. She looked back at him, the culprit messing with her head.

"Oh, my god..." she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I didn’t just—"

Bitterness and shame quickly crept into her heart, clenching it so tight she wanted to disappear at that moment. How could she zone out and take this situation in such a different direction?

Confused, Atlas tilted his head. "Is there something wrong?" The moment the question left his tongue, he drew back as she glared daggers at him.

"Stay out of my head," she warned, pointing a finger at him. "Stay out of it."

"???"

"God," she scoffed, clicking her tongue as she strode off.

Watching her go, he furrowed his brows in confusion, his thought bubble overflowing with question marks.

"What did I do?" he wondered to himself.

He had simply caught her standing outside his bedroom. However, when she turned and faced him, she suddenly zoned out when he asked what she wanted.

Atlas arched a brow and glanced at his bedroom, then back at her retreating figure. "She’s the one who should stay out of my bedroom."

Otherwise, she might just end up getting trapped in it. The corners of his mouth curled up, and he shook his head. As he quietly reached for the doorknob, a thought crossed his mind.

Stay out of my head, Lola Young.

*****

Sleeping with the twins had become a routine Lola was starting to get used to. However, with how things unfolded, she ended up locking herself in another room next to it. Lying on the bed, with her feet touching the floor, she stared at the ceiling.

"Goodness, Lola Young," she murmured, burying her face in her palm. "What the hell?"

That was embarrassing, and even if Atlas didn’t know what had just happened in her mind, she would be embarrassed about it for the rest of her life. She ran her hands along her face before dropping one on her side while the other rested over her forehead.

"Lola..." she whispered, conflict flickering in her eyes. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily, calming her still-racing heart. "Imagination is for your craft, not for something like this."

Slowly, she rolled onto her side, her cheeks flushed beet red. Her mind replayed everything she had just imagined, her lips pressing into a tight, thin line. The more she thought about it, the more her body felt feverish.

"I am ovulating for sure," she muttered to herself, blinking ever so slowly. "...or, I probably still like him after all."

Another deep sigh escaped her as she closed her eyes, trying to calm herself and invite sleep. If sleep would even come tonight.

*

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[SHORT FLASHBACK]

"So? Why do you really like him?"

Lola and her mother, Loren, idled on the bed with their backs pressed against the soft headboard. They had been knitting together in peace while Lola talked about the chocolate recipes she had been trying.

Lola looked up at her supposedly sick mother, who seemed to find amusement in prying into her daughter’s little crush. She pursed her lips, a blush creeping up her cheeks. "Mom, why do you always ask about him? You know I’m too young for this, right?"

"If I weren’t sick, I would’ve scolded you," Loren quipped. "But with my health, I’d rather see these phases sooner."

Lola’s pout turned into a deep frown. "Mom."

"Baby, it’s alright," Loren tilted her head and touched her daughter’s arm. "I’m just saying it."

Lola’s eyes softened, a flicker of sadness in them. She knew her mother’s condition was worsening, but Loren wasn’t showing it. Even if she wanted to deny it, she knew one day she would lose her, and there was nothing she could do about it.

"Well." She cleared her throat, watching her mother straighten her back. "I told you, he’s good-looking, and watching him makes me realize how untouchable he could be. Unbothered, too."

"And?"

Lola’s brows rose, watching her mother’s interest shine in her eyes. "And... he’s a cool person, too."

"A cool person?"

"Mhm." She nodded. "There’s an ongoing bet in the school right now because he challenged the students of the Star Section—the elite section of the smartest kids in the entire academy. You see, he’s been at the top of his class, but always a few points away from entering the Star Section."

Lola blushed. "I am rooting for him."

"Lola, how is betting allowed in the school?" Loren furrowed her brows, only to see her daughter shrug.

"I’m also confused, but it made things interesting," Lola chuckled, pausing her knitting as she rested her head on her mother’s shoulder. "Mom."

"Hmm?"

"If I get rejected... I’ll be fine, right?"

Loren’s smile softened as she looked at her daughter, who was experiencing puppy love. Thinking about it made her chuckle, considering how timid her daughter had always been. She reached out to hold Lola’s hand, patting it.

"Lola, giving him that chocolate you’ve been trying to make, what are your expectations once you hand it to him?"

Lola glanced up at her mother, her head still resting on her shoulder. "I don’t know? I’m learning to bake because... I want to express my feelings. I haven’t thought that far yet."

"Whether he accepts it or not, what matters is you tried," Loren nodded encouragingly. "As long as you tried, that’s what’s important. Otherwise, you’d just keep wondering the what-ifs."

"But what if he rejects me? And says I’m too... too ugly to even think about it?"

"You’re not ugly."

"Mom." Lola sighed heavily.

Loren cupped her daughter’s face and shook her head. "Don’t say that again. You are not ugly. You are sweet, the kindest..."

"And ugly." Lola’s face twitched, holding her mother’s hand. "Mom, it’s okay. I accept it."

Loren pressed her lips together, torn between being heartbroken by her daughter’s self-perception or laughing at how easily Lola accepted it. After a second, a deep huff escaped her.

"Lola, beauty isn’t just about appearance, and even if it is, you are not what you call yourself," she scolded firmly. "Beauty comes from here, and here."

Loren pointed at her daughter’s temple and then at Lola’s chest. "You can be the most attractive person in the world, but if you don’t have both, it’s nothing. People who only go for looks are shallow and will only hurt you."

A moment of silence fell on them until Lola’s face softened. She nodded, taking her mother’s words to heart.

"If he accepts the chocolates or not, then at least you tried," Loren continued. "Besides, it’s just a crush. Everyone has a crush as they grow up, but you’ll eventually outgrow it."

"I will?"

"Of course, you will."

Lola believed her mother, that she would outgrow her feelings eventually. Tonight, however, Lola realized her mother was wrong. She may have outgrown the initial crush, but with Atlas back in her life, it had sparked and revived something in her already-dying heart.