CHAPTER 103: I WANT YOU

Before she could finish, Jake reached out and caught her wrist.

Bella gasped, and before she knew it, his lips were on hers.

It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t hesitation. It was everything he’d held back, his pain, his longing, and his love, all spilling into a single, desperate kiss. One that seemed like his lifeline depended on it.

For a heartbeat, Bella was too stunned to react. But then she felt how his warmth pressed into her, and how his trembling hand cupped her face as if afraid she’d vanish if he let go.

The sheer desperation in his touch, the ragged sound of his breathing, and the way he whispered her name against her lips seemed to shatter something deep inside her.

Bella froze, then melted. All the walls she’d built, all the boundaries she’d drawn between them, splintered beneath the weight of everything she still felt for him. Her heart raced wildly, and before she could stop herself, she kissed him back with equal passion.

It was slow at first, but then something fierce took over as though she’d been possessed. The taste of him, the sound of his sigh, the way his hand slid to the back of her neck, anchoring her to him made her forget everything else. Time folded in on itself. There was no past, no future, just that moment where pain and love blurred into something too powerful to name.

He deepened the kiss, his lips moving against hers with a tenderness that stole her breath and a hunger that burned through restraint. She felt his pulse thunder beneath his skin, the tremor in his hand as he pulled her closer like he’d spent years reaching for her in dreams and had finally found her again.

When he finally pulled away, both of them were breathing hard, gasping for air.

Bella’s breathing was fast. She looked at Jake’s chest, her hands still touching his face. The kiss was over, but the feeling was still strong, burning between them.

Jake slowly lifted his hands and put them over hers which were cupping his face, holding her touch against him. He wouldn’t let go.

"We shouldn’t have done that," Bella whispered. The words sounded small and uncertain.

They shouldn’t have but she couldn’t stop herself.

Jake just stared at her. His eyes were dark and serious. He tilted his head a little, looking like he was hurting.

"I know," he said, his voice rough. It was a clear warning that they were in trouble. But he kept holding her hands tight.

Bella looked down at his mouth. It looked soft and wet from the kiss, and she felt a painful need inside her.

"But you’re not sorry," she said, testing him.

Jake paused, then let out a slow, controlled breath.

"No," he admitted. His voice was low and deep. "I’m not sorry. I’m not sorry because you’re the one, Bella. The one I want. The one I’ve been searching for."

She blinked rapidly, her heart racing. This wasn’t what she was thinking, right? How did they get here?

"Tell me," he whispered. "Are you willing? Because I don’t want to live another day pretending you’re just my secretary. I can’t do it anymore. I want you to be my girlfriend. I want you. I want to have you, forever."

Bella’s breath caught in her throat. Her lips parted, but no words came. He was officially asking her to be his girlfriend.

Her heart screamed to say yes. Yes to the man who had stolen her heart, the man who still made it race after everything. The one who’d offered himself to her. But another voice, the voice of a mother, of guilt, and of fear rose just as loud.

Timothy.

Their child. The secret she’d guarded for years.

If she said yes, everything could unravel. He’d know. He’d ask questions. And she wasn’t ready to face that. Not yet. Even if she were to decide to tell him, now wasn’t the perfect time.

Jake was watching her, searching her eyes for an answer, unaware of the storm behind them.

Bella’s chest tightened painfully. Her emotions twisted between the truth she couldn’t speak and the love she couldn’t hide.

She took a slow, shaky breath, trying to calm the chaos inside her but her silence said everything.

"I mean it, Bella," he said when he saw the hesitation in her eyes. His hand brushed her cheek, his voice trembling. "If you’ll let me, Bell, I want you. All of you. After that encounter five years ago, I’ve always regretted letting you go. But this time, I don’t want to let you go. I want to make you mine. I want to be yours in every way that matters."

Bella’s lips parted, but no sound came. Her mind screamed reason, but her heart was already falling apart in his hands. "I can’t..." she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Jake’s brows furrowed. "Why not? What’s stopping you? You don’t want me? Is that what you want to say because I can see it in your eyes, Bell. You want me just as much as I want you."

He lifted a hand to cup her face, his thumb brushing her trembling lip. "Tell me you don’t wish I was yours. Tell me you don’t remember that night and just wish it could happen again. Look at me and tell me that you don’t still want me the way I want you right now. That you don’t wish to feel me inside of you."

Bella’s breath caught, her eyes glassy. Every word cut through her resolve, every heartbeat screaming the truth she wanted to deny.

"Tell me now," Jake whispered, his voice low, almost a plea. "Tell me you don’t want me right now, and I’ll walk away. Just say it and you’ll never see me this way again. Tell me you don’t want me, Bell."

She swallowed hard, her lips trembling. But when she looked into his eyes that were so full of pain, hope, and love, her strength collapsed.

"I... I want you, Jake. You know it," she whispered, her voice breaking.

Jake exhaled shakily, as though the air had just been knocked out of him. He rested his forehead against hers again, his voice trembling. "Then stop pushing me away. Let me love you. Completely and wholly. Let me be there to always hold you. To touch and make love to you like no one has ever done or will ever do."

Bella closed her eyes, her heart beating rapidly and her anticipation rising to its peak. "Then do it," she whispered back, her voice barely a breath.

Jake kissed her again, deeper this time, his hand sliding to the back of her neck as emotion surged between them, raw, unrestrained, and inevitable. And as the night stretched around them, Bella’s resistance melted into the warmth of his embrace.

Knowing they couldn’t do all the things they wished to do to each other there in the living room, Bella pulled him toward her room. Not out of recklessness, or desperation to save anyone like five years ago, but surrender to the one thing she’d spent five years running from. Her attraction to Jake.

And as the door closed softly behind them, the world outside seemed to disappear, leaving only two broken souls finding solace in each other’s arms.

Morning sunlight filtered softly through the curtains, brushing across Bella’s face.

She stirred, her lashes fluttering open. For a few seconds, she lay still, disoriented by the unfamiliar warmth pressed against her side and the steady rhythm of breathing beside her.

Then the memories of the night returned. Jake arriving, telling her his pain and how they’d somehow ended up making love. A faint smile graced her face when she remembered just how he’d said he’d make love to her like no one had done. Did he forget he was her first? Or did he think she must have gotten involved with someone else in the past five years?

Her smile faded when she thought of how much pain he’d been in when he arrived her house and heart squeezed painfully.

She turned slightly, watching him sleep. His arm was draped loosely over her waist, his face softened by the calm only sleep could bring. He looked nothing like the man who had come to her door last night, broken and lost. Now he looked... peaceful and safe.

And that was what made it worse.

A lump rose in her throat as she slowly slipped from under his arm and sat at the edge of the bed. Her fingers trembled as she reached for her robe.

What have I done?

She pressed a hand to her chest, trying to steady the storm building inside. I say I love him... but I’m already hurting him.

The guilt pressed heavy against her ribs. He had bared his heart to her, given her his truth. And in return, she’d given him half of hers all while hiding the one secret that could change everything.

Her gaze drifted toward the hallway, and the ache in her chest deepened when she thought of Timothy. He’s his son. Jake’s son. And he doesn’t even know.

She drew in a slow, shaky breath. "You said you’d never lie to him again and would tell him the truth," she whispered under her breath. "So why are you doing this?"

Because she was scared.

Scared that telling him would destroy this fragile peace he’d finally gotten after finding out about his parents.

She stood, forcing her thoughts away. Timothy needed to get ready for school. She couldn’t fall apart now.