Intermission – Quella – My Sin to Hold (Illustrations!)

    The mansion Meruria had set aside for us was the very definition of luxury—a wealth of expense stacked on top of opulent grossness. From the marble statues of herself that lined the entry hall to the life-sized paintings that disgustingly decorated the walls in our rooms, Meruria was everywhere.

    It was a reminder-- she was always watching—that we were...owned by her until our deaths.

    Lord Enele stayed for a few hours after escorting us—to ensure we were okay to be alone. He was a kind man. And Kaiho was somehow even gentler. He swam to each of us and let us hold and pet him in our laps—almost acting as an emotional support animal. And Lord Enele offered his ears.

    As we talked, the words just flooded out. But...neither of us said anything about Shuuta. He had asked since the name came up in the Apival Duchy, but I said he passed away during our second day.

    He looked into my eyes and nodded, hinting that he wouldn’t press the issue. Before he left, he cooked us a meal his mother had often made for him as a child.

    It was a soup filled with corn, peas, and fish.

    It was delicious.

    The Dark Lord of Justice chatted about his life while we ate. Lord Enele discussed his training and hard work and how he met Holy Lord Sajun 377 years ago. Sajun was a teenager. One with a deep fascination with portals. He was so dedicated to it that he spent all day and night invested in his research that he caught the attention of the local baron.

    But a few things went wrong. Lord Enele didn’t explain it all, but there were mistakes in the spell that caused an incident with the neighboring country. That led to a war, and Lord Enele was called to arbitrate the discussion. He said he wouldn’t have thought much of it, but Sajun was so determined to prove that he was sabotaged that Lord Enele felt he had to dig deeper.

    And he did, eventually uncovering foul play organized by the invading country, who had used a spy to alter the catalysts Sajun had used. The meeting ended with the ruler of the invading country trying to kill Sajun for his notes, but Enele handled it, using his status as the Dark Lord of Justice to judge the criminals against their crimes.

    And he had declared them guilty when sentencing them to death. He said it happened quick and painless—like a puppet master cutting their marionette’s strings.

    Lord Enele gradually helped Sajun throughout the next sixty years until he had evolved into a Holy Lord. The rest was history...

    Until he passed away in an accident 223 years ago. According to the diary entry, Meruria rose to power two weeks later. So... Meruria was probably 250 years old.

    But Lord Enele ended the story there because it was time for him to leave.

    It was close to 7 PM, and we chatted and took Lord Enele’s words to heart. We decided to implement a rule: we were to be each other’s support systems. If you have a problem or worry about anything, speak up. You never harbored anything inside for too long because that was how you fostered regrets.

    Communication was the cornerstone of why we worked so well with each other. Team Quella was best friends with Team Quella. We were nearly inseparable after what we endured.

    But Remy and her lord were cruel.

    It had happened in the middle of night—after we had showered, bathed, and spent a few more minutes checking on each other before we set off for our rooms.

    Meruria even...managed to fill our dressers with clothes, underwear, socks, and shoes. I picked a shirt and a pair of pants, and then, instead of using the lavish bed, I chose to sit on the floor, hugging my knees while leaning against it because I didn’t want to sleep. The nightmares... I was tired of them. I hadn’t had a decent night’s rest since Shuuta’s death, and at this point, the terrors would probably be all I’d know until my death.

    “Ugh... Can you leave me alone?” I asked when I saw a spark of light in the corner of the room. “Meruria said she’d give us a week to rest. I know she’s a liar, but she seriously can’t act like a good summoner for once in her life?”

    “Good evening to you too, Cutie Qutie,” Remy said, emerging through the portal. She sat beside me and stretched. “Yes, Lord Meruria’s giving you a week’s rest. But you can still work during a sabbatical.”

    “No, you can’t.”

    “If Lord Meruria says you can, then you can. Hey, your boobs are pretty big, you know that?”

    Instantly, I covered my chest and shuffled away, but Remy laughed.

    “Nah, you’re not my type. But I was spying when you all took a bath? Hey, did you know Elly and Ami took one together? And Melusine and your teacher did the same. Didn’t exactly pick them out to be lesbians, but you’ll be happy to know Greggie and Keeth aren’t homosexual. Also... The fat bastard is packing a real sausage between his legs. Let him lose a few dozen hundred pounds, and I might even ask Lord Meruria to let me take him as my husband. Keeth’s smaller than I would’ve liked, but he has a cute, youthful vibe. With his skills, he can probably make one hell of a fuck toy. I might even ask him.”

    “Do you seriously have nothing better to do than invade our privacy?! Goddamn it... Why are you—”

    “Nothing better?” Remy grinned and showed her teeth. She stood, grabbed my hands, and escorted me through another portal. We emerged in a prison, standing opposite a holding cell filled with people.

    “You’re to become their executioner,” she said, leaning against the wall. I obviously declined and refused.

    “Lord Meruria has granted your team a break. She won’t assign you any time-consuming missions.”

    “Then what the hell is this?”

    “It’s a reward. Killing grants experience, which unlocks new forms of your Soul Weapon. And this? It’s like fishing in a barrel. Criminals destined to die have been collected—just for you. The people you see here won’t live past next week. So, you’re going to kill them. If you don’t, I’ll fetch Elly Belly and the rest, and I’ll order them to do it in your stead. But you won’t let that happen, will you? You’re the glue that holds Team Quella together—the nail that binds the seven of you. Why don’t you show me that in action? And don’t worry. I won’t ever have you kill someone innocent.” She had then leaned in close and whispered. “You can leave those to me, Cutie Qutie.”

    “But just think about it.” Remy turned around and backflipped away on her hands. “Have you asked yourself why you’re in this position? Why you’re not lusting your brains out like Damon, who’s been enjoying his harem non-stop? It’s because he has Lord Meruria’s favor. He’s a loyal subject. He’s never failed a mission. But you, Elly, and the others chose to cast your favor with someone who never deserved to breathe the same air as our lord. If I remember, you spoke first. You were the catalyst. I just said you were Team Quella’s glue, but I was speaking literally. If you crumble...or show any fault or weakness, then... Well, you can imagine the outcome. A team leader must be strong. A leader must protect their team.”

    Spoiler[collapse]

    “And that is?”

    “We gotta talk about what we love. Why we grew the way we did... Why we fell in love with our strengths.”

    Elly made a great point, so that became our second rule. Feeling sad? Randomly speak about something you love.

    Having something to keep our minds off the obvious helped. And it was fun doing something together that didn’t involve killing to survive in a potentially impossible-to-survive situation.

    We never left the house that day. For the rest of our ‘break,’ we almost became hermits. After dancing and exercising, Greggie made us a nutritional breakfast, and we enjoyed each others'' reassuring presence throughout the day. Before bed, we exercised Team Quella’s second rule as a last reminder of our friendship. Any little bit would help, right?

    And that was our schedule for the following six days.

    But like clockwork...after night fell upon Junsa... Remy was an unfortunate constant in my life.

    She started to show up multiple times a night to make me kill whatever criminals they had locked away in cages. Remy was rarely alone, though. She was often with a girl named Willow—her sister, but they didn’t look similar. Willow’s hair, ears, and tail were white, with bright blue eyes.

    She was the same woman we had seen Meruria grope before she sent us to Melusine’s dungeon.

    Willow’s eyes were dead to the world. She looked more like a doll than a person while enduring Remy’s groping, teasing, and fingering. But she was alive. She followed Remy’s perverse orders while that damn bitch ordered me to kill.

    I had to do it with her loudly moaning.

    Often, the sound barrier wasn’t present. I had so many threats thrown my way from rapists and murderers, people begging for forgiveness even while their swords were tasting someone’s throat. I’ve destroyed buildings filled with prisoners who had killed and slaughtered their guards...just to save my friends from the agony of committing mass murder.

    I had...so much blood on my hands.

    This wasn’t self-defense. Every night...I lost more of what I used to be.

    And Remy... She made it more difficult by twisting our team’s second rule. She described her happiness when Meruria let her loose—when she directed her towards her enemies. The feelings of indescribable pleasure that came with eliminating one more threat that posed a danger to the one woman she loved more than anything else. And the ‘lust welling between her knees’ when she was rewarded with ‘play time’ with her sister.

    My mind was filled with increasingly negative thoughts—and Remy didn’t help lessen my mental burden. I sulked in my room, shaking—twitching from my sins, unable to think about anything other than my greatest regret.

    I admitted it to myself in my mind.

    I regretted ever speaking up for Shuuta.

    I felt it in my hearts of hearts—in the deepest crevices of my bloody soul, tainted with screams and cries of people being burned, boiled, crushed, frozen, shocked, shattered, dissolved, poisoned, and melted. Every time I unlocked a new form of my weapon, Remy ordered me to use it.

    If I refused, she kissed my neck with her daggers and encouraged me... Refusal again made her angry. A third time? She said she’d fetch my team and have them butcher the criminals in my place.

    And...I couldn’t allow that.

    So, I...shattered. Whatever made up Quella Debil? There were two of them. One still yearned for and would argue to the death that she made the correct choice to speak up. You should never have to apologize for trying to save someone from an undeserved death.

    But the other?

    She was weak. When night fell...when Remy showed up to collect her, this other Quella grew in power. Her thoughts were antithetical to what the other felt. She hated Shuuta. She despised weakness in her heart—wanted to kill her family for forcing the shitty motto into her mind since she was barely old enough to crawl.

    Even if Meruria’s promise of sending us to our world once our job was complete wasn’t a pile of bullshit, I couldn’t ever go back. I’ve changed too much.

    As I looked at the sunbeams filtering through the velvet curtains on the eighth day living in this mansion, I knew it was time to switch to the other Quella. The one who could still fake a smile. The one who still...didn’t regret any of her actions.

    As this Quella, I could ignore the first rule. Because that hatred, anger, and pent-up aggression only applied to her, not me.

    But... I didn’t have anything I loved anymore. Books? This Quella grew distasteful of them after the other had used her tomes for murder.

    As I descended the stairs to the living room, my heart sank to the pit of my stomach when I saw Meruria sitting at the table. Her fake-ass smile pissed me off. It took all I had to kill my frown.

    Because this was the Quella everyone saw.

    The true feelings I felt were reserved for the other one. That Quella could curse. And scream. And cry. And regret her entire life choices without feeling like she was betraying her team’s core rules.

    Seven days was too short. And... it’s...back to the grind... How...much longer can I endure this? What the hell is she going to make us do now?