CHAPTER 175: REGRET AND RELISH

Ariston

I sat on the edge of my bed, elbows on my knees, hands in my hair, feeling like I was splintering from the inside out. The walls of my room blurred in my vision, not because of tears—I had run dry—but because of exhaustion. My shirt still smelled of rain and blood. My body ached in places I didn’t even realize I’d been hit.

Everything felt heavy.

I failed.

I didn’t say it out loud. I didn’t need to. It echoed in every heartbeat, in every breath that scraped my lungs like glass.

I failed to protect her.

My duty. The one thing I promised to never falter in. I was supposed to keep her safe. That’s why I stayed close. Why I never let my guard down—not once. And yet—

She was gone.

Because I took her there.

Because I trusted him.

Rael.

How pathetic. How stupid.

I buried my fingers tighter into my scalp, biting down on a scream. What kind of fool puts his faith in a man who walks in and out of your life like wind through an open door?

I should’ve known better. I did know better. But when I saw him again... all that longing I kept buried clawed its way out. I wanted answers. I wanted him to be the man I remembered. But I should’ve known.

The blood wasn’t red.

It was black. Like rot. Like corruption.

Like betrayal.

I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes. My chest was tight—like there wasn’t enough room in me for the storm still raging from earlier. My throat was raw from yelling, from screaming. I had nothing left. Not even the will to punch a wall, not even the strength to break something just to feel it shatter under me.

I had nothing.

Except...

Drakkar.

A breath slipped out. Not quite a laugh. Not quite a sob. Just a broken sound, halfway between regret and something I didn’t have the courage to name.

He’d come for me.

I remembered the pounding footsteps across wet stone. The way he crashed into me like he’d run all the way without stopping. The way his arms wrapped around me so tightly I could barely breathe—but I didn’t want to breathe. Not without answers. Not with Rael’s betrayal still fresh on my skin.

And yet, he stayed. Held me while I fought him like a feral animal. Yelled at me when I tried to run after Rael like a fool. Threw himself in front of me when Draegon looked ready to snap my skull open like a melon.

He did all of that when I have been nothing but an ass to him.

I hadn’t even thanked him.

But I remembered. Every second of it.

I remembered how it felt when he yelled back at me—not in anger, but because he meant it. Because he cared. Even when I told him not to. Even when I called his feelings fake, even when I shoved him away again and again.

...

I had pushed everyone away, hadn’t I?

Because I was afraid he’d leave me too, like all the important people in my life.

My father, my mother...

Rael...

But Drakkar didn’t.

There was a knock.

Soft, barely audible, but still—it cut through the quiet like a blade. I didn’t respond. I didn’t need to.

The door creaked open anyway.

I didn’t even lift my head at first, not until the footsteps crossed the room. Then I looked up, half-expecting a servant or maybe even Draegon with another speech lined up.

But it was him.

Drakkar.

He didn’t say anything, just looked at me. I must’ve looked like hell—still in the same clothes, still with dried blood clinging to my sleeve, still hollow behind the eyes. But he didn’t look away, and he didn’t hesitate.

He just came to the bed and sat beside me.

I watched him for a moment, almost uncertain of what to say.

"You feeling better?" he asked after a long silence.

I nodded. "My mind’s clearer."

That much was true. The rage had cooled, like steam slowly fading off a scorched blade. The pain was still there, buried deep, but at least it didn’t choke me now.

"Have the soldiers been deployed?" I asked.

Drakkar nodded, his jaw tense. "Yeah. The search has already started. Every scout, every outpost—we’ll find her."

"Then I should go too." I pushed my hands into the mattress, trying to get up, but before I could stand, his hand wrapped around my arm and held me in place.

"Ariston," he said, calm but firm.

I looked at him, blinking.

"Are you really alright?" he asked again, quieter now.

Something about his voice made the silence heavier. Despite the chaos—despite the fact Aelin was gone and my father was a traitor—his concern carved through all of that. It anchored me. And for the first time in hours, maybe longer, I felt... still.

I swallowed, then nodded slowly. "I’m... a lot better. Thanks to you."

He looked at me for a moment longer, then gave a short nod, almost like he was relieved to hear it—even if he didn’t fully believe me.

"Betrayal from a father," he said, his voice lower now, "is never easy." The words stung, but they were true.

I turned my head and looked away.

***

Aelin

The guards froze at the sharp voice.

My eyes fluttered open fully.

Rael.

He stepped forward, slow and quiet like a shadow, his expression unreadable.

"I need to speak with her," he said calmly. "Alone."

One of the guards looked between him and the circle. "But Lord Reagen—"

"I said move." His tone darkened, just slightly, but with enough edge to send a chill down even my spine.

The guards exchanged glances, hesitant. But one by one, they backed away. Not far—only to the edge of the ritual site—but far enough that we were alone in the circle.

Rael stepped inside, the hem of his cloak brushing the blood markings. His boots barely made a sound against the stone.

He stopped in front of me

I blinked slowly, blood drying in the corners of my mouth.

"...why?" I managed to rasp.

He knelt, face shadowed, but his red eyes glowing faintly beneath his dark hood. "Because," he said quietly, "you shouldn’t die like this."