—Do you have a wish?

Kasumi Mogi (19), April 10

My first love probably ended when she appeared.

I’m determined not to give up, but…… Ugh, fine, I get it! There’s something unshakable between her and Hoshino that I could never build between us. I know it’s love. I can tell that much.

It’s a bright and sunny day, and the pink cherry blossoms are out and proud in full bloom. I’m practicing my draws again today at the archery range in the rehabilitation center’s large recreation facility.

My arms have gained a lot of muscle since the accident, but I’m still not strong enough and have trouble merely drawing back the bow. Just shooting the arrow is all I can manage; aiming is a whole other problem. Unsurprisingly, it misses the target.

I let out a small sigh. I’ve always been a poor athlete, but I honestly don’t think I have much of a knack for archery. Appearing in the Paralympics is probably out of the cards for me, too… But if I say that to my physical therapist, Ryoko, I’m sure she’ll get upset. I’m sick of hearing stories about how gold-medal-winner Takanashi was much worse than me at first, or how Goto the wheelchair tennis winner recovered from an attempted suicide. “Put your whole heart into it!” Ryoko says. “Nothing is impossible in the face of a true dream! Don’t give up—heat up!” Ugh, seriously, she is too intense. And strict. I wish she would cut me a little slack, since I can’t walk.

I don’t ever really get any special treatment in this huge hospital, but that makes sense. This place is full of wheelchair-using patients just like me. In fact, sometimes Ryoko seems less sympathetic toward me and genuinely jealous of my youth. She’s kinda weird, in my opinion.

“Kasumi!”

I lift my head as someone calls my name.

Ishizaki has noticed me and is waving his hand happily from the tennis court. I grimace slightly and return the wave. I’ve been trying to keep myself from getting that look on my face, but it never goes well. I mean, what’s the best way to respond to someone who told me they have feelings for me?

I draw the bow again, wanting to clear away all those complicated thoughts.

I used to think there wouldn’t be many guys who would be willing to accept me as I am. Anyone would probably feel that way in my shoes. And yet, at least around here, I’m…well, popular, although it feels strange to say it myself. I can understand why people with disabilities like mine would chat me up, but even abled people have tried flirting with me, too. I get hit on much more often than I did when I was a student.

At first, I kept wondering why someone would go for a girl with so many issues, at least physically, but lately, I think I’m starting to understand a bit. A lot of people out there like the feeling of supporting someone. Marrying me and providing for me would at least create meaning and satisfaction in life. They come after me because they can be assured of that.

And maybe I could find some happiness in that fairy-tale life with someone caring for me and tending to my every need. But I guess I’m still not sure how I should react to the affection of people like that. Don’t they just like me as someone disabled and not for who I am? Aren’t they simply putting me up on a pedestal and acting as if my disability gives me a special kind of beauty that abled people don’t have? Aren’t they merely looking to be with a partner who is weak and has no choice but to follow their lead? Maybe those thoughts make me a bad person; I don’t know.

Still, I can’t help but think, At least Hoshino treated me the same before and after I became a paraplegic.

This time, the arrow doesn’t even come close to hitting the target.

There was a major incident between us, something way more massive than my accident.

The thing is, I’m not even sure exactly what happened. It was an inexplicable, impossible incident.

I remember bits and pieces—I once caused trouble for Hoshino in some other world, and he definitively rejected me. Then there was the mess with Miyazaki. And the mysterious death of that first-year student Koudai Kamiuchi. The scare with the dog-people that Oomine apparently started. And—Hoshino losing his mind.

The key part is missing, though. These incidents seem as if they should be connected, but they don’t link up. It’s as though my memories of them have been cut apart into separate films. Or as if some god made sure to hide everything important.

Something else feels off, too, with Nana Yanagi and Toji Kijima. They were old friends of Hoshino’s whom I got to know in high school. There shouldn’t be anything especially unusual about this, but they fit in so naturally that it actually feels extremely wrong. I recall how I befriended them. I remember Nana kept making eyes at Hoshino, even though she had a boyfriend, and it drove me up the wall. But some part of these memories doesn’t seem real, or maybe it seems out of place. As if someone just slapped the memories in to make things seem plausible.

I think—I think I’ve forgotten something important. Something vital.

I may not know what it is, but one thing is certain.

I wanted to go back to school, but…

…Hoshino was not there.

My doctors had always recommended that I go to a big rehabilitation center with proper facilities. My desire to return to school with Hoshino was the reason why I held out against the idea for so long and stayed at my initial hospital. But Hoshino wasn’t at school anymore, so I inevitably lost my motivation to stay, and I left the town I knew.

Before I did, though, there was one thing I had to settle once and for all.

The day after I decided to transfer to the rehab center, I called Otonashi to the hospital. I asked the nurses to do me a favor and make sure we had the roof to ourselves. I could imagine myself getting worked up, so I didn’t want to talk in my room.

The cold autumn wind chilled me to the bone. When Maria Otonashi stood with the beautiful scarlet foliage of the distant mountains behind her, she looked as if she’d stepped out of a painting. No, Otonashi could be a painting even without the fall leaves.

Her long hair had once fallen to her hips, but she had cut it shoulder-length. The new style made her the slightest bit more approachable; some of the mystique was gone. Or maybe it was more than just the haircut.

I thought something as I looked at this beautiful girl again:

I don’t think I’ll ever like Otonashi.

There are a few things I’m convinced of. I know I could have started a relationship with Hoshino if she hadn’t come along. It’s her fault Hoshino ended up the way he is. If I could have gone back to my normal life, Otonashi would not have come back to school. Hoshino would have remained the same as before.

I have no doubt we would have gotten close enough for me to call him by his first name. To me, he would have been “Kazuki.”

It was all because of her.

It was all Maria Otonashi’s fault that my normal life came apart.

“I’m going to go away and stay at a big rehabilitation center.”

Thanks to her, I had no choice but to leave Hoshino behind.

When I told her, Otonashi’s expression didn’t change. She just said, “I see,” and after a moment, she added, “I’ll tell Kazuki, too.”

My emotions surged when she said his name. Do you have any idea how I feel about having to tell you this at all? Do you know how much determination it took? I wanted to throw the regret, the rage, and all the other negative emotions within me in her face. I wanted to curse at her, and I’d never cursed before. I wanted to make her pay for breaking Hoshino and everyone else. I wanted to make her apologize, and I wanted to slap her as hard as I could.

I clenched my fists to hold in my anger.

Those fists were very, very tight.

Then I told her what I had decided to say.

“Please take care of Hoshino.”

I bit my lip and bowed deeply.

Ugh, I hated it. I hated it so much.

But even though I despised my rival, this was how I had decided to deal with her.

“I want to support Hoshino. I want to stay by his side and care for him… But I understand. I still need the help of many others to finally get back to normal. I can’t do anything on my own. As helpless as I am…I would only be a burden…!”

I couldn’t lift my head. I was frustrated and sad and refusing to admit the truth. I was crying.

“Even after the accident—I was confident I could get Hoshino to notice me.”

“Yeah.”

That was a lie. I knew there was no way I could work my way between them. I wouldn’t have had a chance even if I were abled. Otonashi knew it, too, but she just listened to my blustering.

“I love Hoshino. I don’t even care that he can’t speak. I might love him forever.”

“Right.”

“I’ll never love anyone like this again. It’s something that’s important to me.”

“…Yeah.”

“Hoshino would care for me, too… That’s right—I haven’t lost to you! …I haven’t. I haven’t, not at all!”

I bit my lip again.

“…But, but…!!”

When it comes to what Hoshino needs—

“I’m not the one!”

—it’s her. It’s not Kasumi Mogi.

It’s Maria Otonashi.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

Though I tried to fight it down, I ended up screaming.

Otonashi didn’t do anything for me. She didn’t give me a hug or wipe away my tears. She just stood there watching until my crying quieted down.

“Mogi.” Once my tears subsided, Otonashi spoke to me in a firm tone. “Kazuki will make it back to his normal life.”

I looked at her. My eyes were red.

“You care for Kazuki, and I know that will have a good effect on him. Your feelings will play a part in bringing him back. It’s inevitable. So I’m going to go ahead and say this now.”

Maria Otonashi bowed her head low.

“Thank you for caring for Kazuki.”

I don’t know how to put it, exactly, but what she did calmed my emotions. I even found myself smiling. “I just can’t win.”

I really couldn’t.

I mean, Otonashi was certain Kazuki would come back to some sense of normalcy, even after seeing him in that state. I had said I would love him even if he never recovered, and I meant it. And therein was the problem.

After all, it meant that some part of me believed he wouldn’t make a comeback.

Maria Otonashi had no doubts, though. She held on to her faith in his return.

That was why she was the one who deserved to be by his side.

I could tell that my chest had gotten lighter all of a sudden. There was an indescribable sense of relief that left me both surprised and disappointed. Somewhere along the way, the love that had once been my salvation had become a heavy burden. Carrying it was starting to exhaust me.

“Yeah…”

My love was at an end.

Will I be able to have feelings for someone again?

Could I become someone’s emotional support?

Will I find a place where I belong?

During my reverie, several cherry blossom petals drift down onto my head.

I turn around in surprise.

“Hey there, Idol!”

That nickname again. My arms go slack, and I lower the bow.

It’s my physical therapist. Her face is tanned and makeup-free, but she’s wearing a clashing shade of white.

“…Please stop calling me that, Ryoko.”

She grins happily when she sees I’m annoyed.

“Come on, that’s what you are.”

“Why is that…?”

“The media’s here to report on you again. And that’s not all. It’s those super-famous twenty-four-hour TV guys. You’re happy to do it, of course?” And she’s loud as ever, too.

“…No way. Please turn them down.”

“Again? …Okay, can I shoot straight with you, here?”

“…Sure.”

“You need to be on TV!” She jabs her finger at me. “You’ll capture the hearts of millions—I guarantee it! You’ve got the perfect charismatic smile for it. You don’t inspire the pity most people feel for disabled people. Do you know how rare that is? You could single-handedly change the image of people with handicaps. The more exposure you get, the more supporters you’ll make, no doubt about it! The media knows this, too, and that’s why they’re all after you. You should be an idol—sing and dance and do meet-and-greets and get all the votes! Once you do, the revolution is on! It’d be a huge help for the patients and physical therapists to have more supporters, too. You’re the only one who can do it. It’s your mission!”

“…I’m sick of hearing about this.”

“Hmm? What was that?”

“You’ve said this over and over. You said you’re ‘shooting straight,’ but you’re just repeating yourself!”

However, Ryoko sincerely believes in my potential.

“……So—”

Thank you.

But I’m too embarrassed to say it out loud.

I think Ryoko is blowing things out of proportion, and it won’t go as well as she thinks.

Still, I have a chance to make a difference in society, even after everything. That alone both surprises me and gives me hope. My life doesn’t have to be defined by getting help from others.

Though I can’t deny that some options are unavailable to me now, there may be things that only I can do. Maybe something less dramatic than becoming an idol—a quieter and more modest path.

“…I’ll think about it when things are easier for me.”

For the time being, though, I’m too busy working on myself.

“Hmph, it sounds like you’re coming around to the idea a bit. I guess I’ll hold off on answering the TV station.”

“Uh… No, I’m saying I still can’t…” This is Ryoko I’m dealing with here. If I don’t make a firm refusal, she’ll twist my arm, and next thing I know, my appearance will be confirmed. “I mean it when I say it’d be a real problem for me!”

“Oh? How so?”

“Um, well…more people might start hitting on me after seeing me on TV…”

Uh-oh. I shouldn’t have said that.

I glance at Ryoko, and her temples are twitching. “I can’t believe you think that’s a real problem. Heads up, once you’re out of your teens, you won’t have nearly as many options! Japanese men are all into young girls!”

“Um…I’m sure you’re just right for somebody out there.”

“If you were trying to console me, you didn’t. That was so condescending.”

Yeah, well… Maybe not someone of the opposite gender…

“I can tell by your eyes that you’re thinking something rude. You’ve got some nerve. Fine, fine, I get it! Today’s therapy is going to be especially intense!”

“Please don’t! That’s unprofessional of you, Ryoko!”

“Idols don’t whine.”

“They do! They complain and bad-mouth their fans like crazy on their secret Twitter accounts!”

“That sounds awfully specific… And I noticed you didn’t deny you’re an idol that time.”

“I am not!”

Anyway.

Hoshino. That’s how things are for me now. I’m doing all right.

I imagine Otonashi is by your side even now. I wasn’t there to see it, but I heard she said something unbelievable during her inaugural address as student council president.

I’m kind of looking forward to when she makes good on her promise, but for the most part, I’m jealous.

There’s about a year and a half until it happens, according to her.

I hope to grow up a bit before then. I want to get stronger so I can be independent and support someone else. I want you to see me like that.

Right now, that’s my quiet little wish.

Yuri Yanagi (19), July 6

I want to have a hobby.

When I passed the entrance exam and successfully enrolled at Tokyo University, that was the first thought I had. I went to check out the clubs after I decided to join one, and the one that caught my interest was photography. They had some beautiful photos on display in their room, of children laughing against a blue sky. I was sure there were plenty of other beautiful things out there in the world, and I wanted to be able to find them. I wanted to preserve that beauty forever. That’s what I was thinking.

I asked my parents to buy me a slightly high-end single-lens reflex camera as my gift to celebrate getting accepted, and then I joined the photography club. I was surprised to find the members were basically all men, but everyone has been very kind. When I explain the kind of pictures I want to take, they’re very careful and thorough in teaching me how. They also loan me the expensive lenses I need. Everyone really wants to work in the darkroom with me for whatever reason—even though I own a digital camera—but in any case, I have everything I could ever want as a newcomer.

Since I started university, a slightly embarrassing fact has also come to my attention. I like frilly, girlish clothes, but I can’t shake the feeling that college girls don’t normally wear those things. But if I just dress the same as everyone else, I can’t show off my personality, and bleaching and perming my hair doesn’t work for me, either. I want to keep the same long black hair and straight bangs I’ve always had. I’ll always prefer skirts, I love ribbons, and lately, I’ve been getting into knee socks.

That’s why I have a nickname now.

“Otaku Club Princess.”

“I want to cry.”

I break down in tears at a Starbucks near the university.

“……Now, now, being the Otaku Club Princess isn’t so bad. At least you’re a princess.”

My best friend and fellow student at Tokyo University, Iroha Shindo, crunches on the ice in her coffee as she provides an unhelpful attempt at encouragement.

Her pupils are a bit dull; she doesn’t have the eyes of a snake with prey in its sights anymore. A certain someone wounded her deeply, and she has yet to heal from it. Even now, a year later, she’s still going to a clinic specializing in psychosomatic problems. Iroha herself describes it as “taking a break from life.” I get the feeling that someone who was running for as long as she was would’ve probably needed a break either way.

I’m not that worried, though. Even during this rest, she’s still a force to be reckoned with. The Tokyo University Science III test is said to be the most difficult of all, and she passed it right out of high school and entered medical school. Other students taking their exams can’t even compare.

“By the way, Yuri, I noticed you had a gaggle of guys around you when we met up, huh?”

“That’s everyone from the club. They escorted me, since they said it would be dangerous for me on my own.”

“At night is one thing, but it’s the middle of the afternoon… It shouldn’t be any surprise that people are calling you a princess, in that case.”

It isn’t as if I asked them to escort me, though… I’ve already learned that turning them down just makes things weird, too…

“That’s not it. Being called Otaku Club Princess isn’t what makes me want to cry. Sure, I didn’t like it at first, but now I’m used to it.”

“So what you’re saying is you’ve got something else bothering you?”

“Yeah. The truth is, one of the older guys in the club asked me to go out with him. He’s popular with other girls, but I’d never really paid much attention to him…”

“Oh dear. And you turned him down, of course. Well, I guess it does hurt to turn someone down when they like you, no matter who it is. Is that why you want to cry?”

“No, I accepted.”

“You accepted?!” Iroha slams the table with a bang and rises to her feet. Of course, this attracts the attention of the other customers. Aren’t you overreacting a bit? It’s embarrassing.

“Um, just hear me out. It’s that I…want to forget about…him if I can… I thought maybe I would be able to if I started seeing someone else, so…”

“…Yeah.”

Iroha has a sour look on her face. She’s still not happy with Kazuki after he broke her down, even if he did put her back on the right path. She’s unsure of how to process her feelings.

“But I couldn’t forget about him even after I started seeing someone else, and I never did develop feelings for my clubmate. As a result, we ended up breaking up after two weeks… I’m sorry…”

“Hmm, not that I don’t understand your side, but the other guy must. I’m sure you’re feeling guilty about treating him so badly, huh? Yeah, that’s definitely a reason to cry.”

“Oh, that’s not it.”

“That’s not it?!”

Bang—!

Iroha slams the table and rises to her feet again. This is mortifying… Now the staff are watching, too.

“That wasn’t the end of it. The fact is, one of the few girls in the club had feelings for him… She started avoiding me. It makes sense; she wouldn’t want to be around me after I started a relationship with someone she liked and then broke up with him so quickly.”

“Hmm, I suppose not.”

“She’s one of the only other girls, though, so I wanted to offer an olive branch.”

“By doing what?”

“I thought maybe she’d cool down a little if she got a boyfriend. I knew there was another guy she kinda liked, too. My idea was that everything would turn out fine if I could hook her up with him. So I decided to act as a go-between.”

“Hmph… Not really the way I’d go about it, but I suppose it could work for you.”

“Yeah. So I’d get them alone together, encourage them to ask each other out, things like that. The girl figured out what I was trying to do and started to warm up to me just a little, but…”

“There was a problem?”

“Yeah. Um, the guy got mad at me. He started yelling, like, ‘Why are you trying to force us to go out?’ and ‘Stop playing with me!’ It was scary…”

“Why would he be upset?”

“So, he had a crush on me…”

“That sucks! …Well, I guess you couldn’t really help it, since you didn’t know.”

“No, I knew.”

“You knew?!”

Bang—!

She hits the table again. Even the customers outside on the terrace are looking at us now…

“No, it’s just… I’m sorry. But you see, from my perspective, I’d just finished that whole mess with my other clubmate, so I’d never go out with this guy. It never even crossed my mind that this could happen… Still, none of that had anything to do with him… I’m so awful…”

“Hmm. Well, at least you never considered dating him. That’s something in your defense. But…this is still definitely your fault.”

“That’s true… I understand that. The thing is, all of this prompted him to start pursuing a relationship with me. I tried to fix things and tell him I can’t see anyone right now, but…he’s the type who flips out if he doesn’t get his way… The more I tried to explain why I couldn’t be with him, the more upset he got. Then one day, he finally—”

“Y-yeah…?”

“—assaulted me.”

Iroha’s eyes widen at my admission.

“By ‘assaulted,’ do you mean…what I think you mean?”

“Yeah… Oh, but I’m okay! I screamed, and there were people nearby, so I wasn’t hurt! I’m still a virgin!”

“Let’s set aside that question for now.”

Hey, that’s mean! I really am!

“You might have sown some of the seeds for it, but that doesn’t mean it was okay for that to happen to you. Yeah, you must have been terrified. It’s okay to cry.”

“No, that’s not it…”

“Not even that?! Get it over with and cry already!”

Why?!

“Just listen! So the professor who assaulted me—”

“Professor?!” Iroha hits the table and rises to her feet yet again. “Professor?! Oh no, I’ve heard enough! A professor! …A damn professor!!” She bangs the table several times.

“I-Iroha, stop making so much noise…”

Everyone in the shop is staring at us. Talk about awkward…

“Um…hey, didn’t you see the noticeboard? There was a professor who got in big trouble, right? It would’ve been on the news, too.”

“That was you?!”

“H-hey, it wasn’t my fault. He attacked me.”

“Yeah, well, I guess that’s true…” Iroha lets out a big sigh and takes her seat. She sips at her iced coffee, which is really melted ice with hints of coffee at this point. “And?” Oh, Iroha must’ve worn herself out.

“So the guy was a professor, and it was such a big deal, the university took disciplinary action against him, right? Which means word is going to spread. People are already saying I’m a slut who leads her professors on, and that’s not even the worst rumor. They’re saying I’m a bitch who got the boys of the photography club wrapped around her little finger and started bilking them for money. It’s horrible. These rumors are coming out of nowhere.”

“I wouldn’t say nowhere.”

“I-it is nowhere. And so…in the end, everything is still on edge in the club, and that girl quit and swore she wouldn’t have anything to do with me. Then, when I tried to do the responsible thing and quit, too, the members stopped me. So now I have no idea what to do…”

“You aren’t the Otaku Club Princess so much as a quintessential club wrecker,” she tells me coldly. “I get the picture, though. I can see why you’d want to cry in that situation.”

“……”

“No way—don’t tell me there’s more?”

“…Um, don’t be shocked.”

“Pfft, seriously? We’re way past shocked at this point.”

“Come on!”

“Why wouldn’t I be?! …Ugh, anyway, what is it that’s really got you down?”

“Well…thanks to all this, I’ve gained a lot of influence. I could make a lot of people quit the club now, or even drop out of school if I really wanted to.”

“…And?”

I summon my determination and tell her. “It feels good.”

“What?”

“This whole situation, having so many fates in the palm of my hand—it feels good. I could crush the elite of Tokyo University with just a few lies or a little flirting. It gives me chills to imagine what would happen if I actually did it. It even turns me on.”

I cradle my head.

“And that side of me is what makes me want to cry!”

Iroha throws her cup at me. I can’t blame her. Tee-hee!

After parting ways with Iroha, I head to a large park with my single-lens reflex camera in hand. I’m here to capture the park in the sunset light. The scent of the summer grass is heavy, and the air itself feels as if it’s buzzing with the cries of the cicadas.

I started riding a motorbike and living on my own after I started college, and it’s opened up my world to so much more than when I was in high school.

In a way, I feel I’ve come to know myself bit by bit.

When I was a high schooler, I was just studying in a blind haze, aiming for the top. It seemed hopeless, though, because I always had rivals I couldn’t best and barriers I couldn’t overcome. Iroha was the prime example of that, and I constantly felt defeated when it came to her. In my jealousy, I lost sight of myself.

Iroha is a revolutionary at heart. She’s never content with the status quo. She will always try to push herself and the world ever forward. She even entered Tokyo University’s medical school so she could change the world through medicine, which is a reason that makes no sense to the average person. She is sincerely ready to carry the world on her back, and I know she can do it.

I understand it now. There was no way I could win against someone like that by delving into my studies with no direction. Iroha may be quieter now after her setbacks, but there isn’t a doubt in my mind that once she is rested and recovered, she will be moving toward the revolution.

I’m fundamentally different from Iroha. I can’t be like her, nor would I want to be. I can’t even think about the world in any serious capacity. At best, all I care about is if those nearest and dearest to me are happy. Given my personality, Iroha will always be out of my league.

But I’m beginning to believe that maybe that’s okay.

I’m after something different from Iroha. I know exactly what it is, too, now that I’ve leveled up (or down?) into a club wrecker.

I want to make others act as I intend.

I want to make others into my puppets.

Oh, I am aware that desire is twisted. It isn’t pretty, at least. All the same, I seem to have quite a knack for it, and it’s an ability society needs.

In the past, a certain advertising agency once advocated ten maxims of strategy:

1. Make them use more.

2. Make them throw things away.

3. Make them consume wastefully.

4. Make them forget the season.

5. Make them give gifts.

6. Make them buy in sets.

7. Create opportunities.

8. Make them out of fashion.

9. Make them buy out of comfort and familiarity.

10. Create confusion.

These maxims really hit home for me when I saw them.

If I unleash my desire and demonstrate my talent, I’m sure I can drive the economy forward and contribute to society. There is a place where I’m needed.

At heart, I am an instigator.

I want to see the masses do my silly dance.

Life has become much easier now that I’ve found my path. I can proceed on a straight course without any wasted stamina or energy. I’ve started my search for employment in an advertising agency or the media.

If I excel as an instigator, I can probably even partner up with a revolutionary like Iroha, for instance. When that day comes, I will be able to stand on equal footing with her. Maybe I’ll be one of the people effecting change on the world. Then my inferiority complex toward Iroha will be gone.

And yet—

“I don’t really need to become someone so important.”

If I can move just one person to keep loving me and build a happy family with me, that would be enough.

“Kazuki…”

But my genuine, once-in-a-lifetime love will never be returned.

“Ugh…”

Though I sigh, the corners of my mouth perk up. Kazuki belongs to Maria Otonashi through and through.

But for whatever reason, I get the feeling that’s how I want it. It’s right that my love goes unrequited.

That declaration of Otonashi’s.

I had a big laugh the first time I heard about her announcement after we’d graduated. Poor Kazuki—the girl who finally got him is ridiculous.

But Kazuki needs that sort of power now.

“Oh.”

The sunset has painted the sky in lovely colors, and the reflection on the pond is just what I had in mind. I center the couple paddling a boat in the reticle and take my pictures. After a few different angles and exposure lengths, I’m able to snap some that are to my liking.

“Okay.”

Even someone like me can take beautiful pictures.

I have it in me to keep finding beauty, too.

There’s a little over two years until the day Otonashi finishes what she started with that announcement.

In the meantime, I’d like to close the distance between my dream and where I am now. I’d like to be able to believe, to really, truly believe, that I’m fine the way I am.

…And, if possible, I’d like to find an even more amazing partner than Kazuki!

Yes. That is my wish.