CHAPTER 297: A DESIRE BEYOND SURVIVAL

’Are you really 18? Even if you’re not that old, you’re like a nobleman who’s over 30 and has grandchildren.’

Since nobles usually married early, it was not strange to have grandchildren by the age of thirty.

In that sense, Curtis actually had a pretty good idea of Carl’s age.

"Your Majesty, do you have a lady in mind?"

While they were still talking about their grandchildren, the conversation moved on to romance.

No matter what, he was a hot-blooded youth, 18 years old, and he talked about this story so nonchalantly...

"None."

"...."

"It hasn’t been that long since I got over my illness, and I’ve been so busy since then."

Carl couldn’t talk about Camilla, and he couldn’t talk about Elke Gasto.

So he dismissed it like that.

"Ah, ahh...."

Curtis opened his mouth, then closed it again.

’Oh, Duren! That’s right!’

What kind of love is this when I was stuck in my room until I was 16, not knowing when I would die!

Another reason Curtis was still unmarried, even though he was in his mid-twenties, was because he had a terminal illness.

Although there were women who enjoyed casual romances with Curtis, no woman wanted to marry him.

If he suddenly died, it would be natural for her to become a widow at a young age.

What if the disease was passed on to their children? And what about the cost of the medicine that he had to take regularly?

"Well, but... dancing with a lady at a party or something...."

"I used to dance with my late mother often."

"...."

The worst conversation Curtis had ever had was now creaking.

It would have been better if it just stopped, but somehow the conversation kept going on.

He wished his beloved horse, Dolin, would start a mad dash right now and run away from this place with all its might.

"What is the first thing you want to do when you get better?"

Fortunately—or unfortunately—Carl brought up an appropriate topic.

"Of course, I should get married first!"

Curtis beamed and immediately shouted.

"Even without that, people around me are making a fuss because I’m 25 and can’t get married. I feel bad about that too. In fact, unless there’s a serious illness or something like that, there aren’t many people who can’t get married at this age, right?"

"Oh, really? Lady Catherine. How are you?"

"I don’t really care."

"...."

Catherine, who had lived her entire life as a knight to revive her family, was now in her late twenties.

She had never had a conversation with a man as a member of the opposite sex, let alone thought about getting married.

When Curtis met Catherine’s eyes, he turned his head in surprise and shut his mouth.

’Dolin, can you run away?’

Curtis timidly tugged on Dolin’s reins.

But Dolin had no intention of breaking away from the herd, as he ran recklessly down the snow-covered road.

"Lady Catherine, I’m sorry. I was not considerate enough. You were too busy following me around to pay attention to your wedding."

"It’s okay. I have no intention of getting married anyway. The family line will be continued by Vester, so I am content with making a name for myself as a knight of Lord Carl."

"Well then, that’s good."

Curtis felt embarrassed by the conversation between Carl and Catherine that followed.

Marriage was, of course, a serious matter.

However, compared to Carl—who recovered from his illness and immediately achieved many things as a prince, became an archduke, and led the war to victory—and Catherine, who was more confident in herself as a knight than in marriage, the goal of marriage felt too trivial.

He wished he could have said something like, "I want to make a name for myself as a knight!" when Carl asked him that question.

But Curtis couldn’t tell such a lie because he actually thought marriage was the priority.

"Sir Curtis, after you get better and get married, what do you want to do then?"

"...."

Curtis licked his lips at Carl’s continued question.

But he couldn’t bring himself to answer.

After thinking about it carefully, he realized that he had never thought about achieving anything as a knight after getting married.

Because, since he had to live with a fever and had to take potions, he couldn’t participate in things like battles.

Combat was no child’s play, and you had to consume potions even if you did nothing, so who would hire a knight like Curtis—who had mediocre skills—to fight?

Curtis was only a knight as a formality, as was customary for nobles to whom the Levin family had sworn allegiance for generations, and he rarely did anything as a knight on a regular basis.

Everything was meaningless to him.

Nothing had been accomplished, and nothing would be accomplished in the future.

’Surprisingly, it’s not bad.’

Carl quietly looked into Curtis’s miserable inner self with his expressionless face.

In the original, there was almost no mention of the story before Adrian cured his illness, so he didn’t know.

But when he actually met him and looked into it, he found out that Curtis was not completely reckless.

Could it be that the dirty aspects of his personality that he displayed under Adrian were also the result of his ego suddenly growing in an unbalanced manner due to this complex?

"Sir Curtis, do you know what?"

"...Yes, yes?"

Curtis looked at him, startled by Carl’s gentle voice.

Carl decided to give sweet honey to Curtis, who had been hiding his inferiority complex behind the guise of a cheerful southerner.

"When I cured the fever with the legendary fairy flower, I gained mana."

"...."

"Of course, this is a secret. Do you understand?"

"Yes...."

"You may be able to obtain mana right away like me. You are not as sickly as me and unable to move, so you will become a knight recognized by everyone."

"...Ah."

Curtis’s eyes widened.

"After that, do you think you will have no other desire than to get married and pass the responsibility on to your children?"

Curtis was picturing a future full of hope, but then Carl’s next words suddenly made him feel an eerie feeling as if he were falling off a cliff.

Carl still looked at him quietly with a gentle expression.

With such a gentle expression, he mercilessly tore at the frightened and miserable child cowering in Curtis’s mind.

Even though he wanted to turn away, he couldn’t because the little child was crying so hard, in so much pain.

Curtis felt like a clown thrown naked onto the stage, staring at the eyes of the young eighteen-year-old Duke quietly watching him.

Terrible shame and fear.

His hands and feet started to tremble, he felt chills, and he felt so hot that he broke out in a cold sweat.

He felt like he was going to throw up at any moment.

"Think about it carefully, Sir Curtis."

Carl spoke softly to the trembling, crouching Curtis, and moved past him.

Purruk.

Dolin, who realized that his master’s condition was strange, stopped and started to groan.

Curtis opened his cloak and hid himself, rolling his eyes in anxiety, then dodged when his eyes met the soldiers’ worried gazes.

He crouched down without moving an inch, trying to escape from other people’s gaze.

Even after the clever Dolin—who judged it dangerous to separate from the group—followed the soldiers’ tails carefully and stealthily without Curtis’s orders, Curtis kept himself hidden in his cloak for a while.

He had no choice but to face his raw self, which he had tried so hard to hide and suppress deep down.

It was no different than a human being being murdered.

The ego Curtis created to protect himself shattered, crumbled, and melted away.

In the end, all that was left was a young child, stained with frustration and failure, with an inferiority complex, who had given up on everything and was crouching down to do nothing.

The reason he came to see Carl was actually because he wanted to run away.

From the person who became a knight thanks to his family, barely surviving by using up his family’s wealth.

And from his past self, who had a loved one but couldn’t propose to them because of his illness and had no choice but to send them away.

That misery, that despair.

Those moments that he tried hard to ignore.

Carl brutally exposed them and made Curtis look straight at himself.

And it gave Curtis hope that instead of running from it, he could fight it.

You can have mana.

So, what’s next?

It created an irresistible desire in Curtis’s heart.

Curtis crouched in silence for a long time, then slowly raised his head and looked at the front of the line.

Carl’s red cloak was clearly visible even through the falling snow.

To Curtis, it was both a brutal destroyer and a dazzling savior.

--+-

Thanks for the reading a Chapter. I hope you will continue to do so."