CHAPTER 830: TO THE END

Luke’s tail went rigid. He stared at me, violet eyes wide. His hand quivered in my hands, his fingers curling against my chest. More tears trickled down his face, but he didn’t seem to notice them.

"You were gone," he whispered, voice cracking. "When Gayron said he left you, I...I hurt him, Xiviyah. I couldn’t stop myself. And when you appeared, and you didn’t remember me, I...I couldn’t bear it. It was like losing her all over again. It hurts so much."

Hurts. Not hurt. I squeezed his hand, fighting my own tears.

"That’s why you’re scared," I said. "But don’t you know? If you push me away, I’ll be gone. Not maybe, not in the future. Right now. And you wouldn’t just lose me. I’d lose you, too. And I don’t want that. I...I like being with you, Luke."

I let his hand slip, burying my face against his chest, unable to meet his gaze. My face was hot, my tail flicking back and forth. Any second, I expected him to push me away or to reject my feelings.

I jumped when his hand slid across my back, pulling me tight. My breath caught in my throat as his other hand held the back of my head, cradling me against his chest. There was much I felt, so many words to say, but everything faded away, lost in the moment.

"You’re right. I am scared," he murmured.

"Me too. But that’s what makes it worth it. I think."

He chuckled wryly, stroking my hair. "Is that right? Wouldn’t it be easier if there were never any risk or pain?"

"Maybe. But then what’s the point? A smile only means something because it could be a frown. That’s what Fate said, at least."

"You don’t sound too convinced."

I shrugged, hiding a smile against his tunic. Strange to hear my own thoughts echoed by someone else. Even stranger that I wasn’t sure if I still agreed with them.

"Luke, um, could we talk?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "More than we have? I don’t know how much more I can hear right now."

"Yeah."

His smile faded, and he let me go, sitting on the grass. He patted the ground next to him, and I sat, lacing my arm through his and leaning my head on his shoulder. The camp was quiet beneath us, the sun a few inches above the horizon. A few pink clouds drifted above the vapors of infernal mana plaguing the horizon.

"What would it take, Luke, for you to lose me? What would I have to do for you to leave me?"

"I’m not sure I follow."

I blushed, tail curling in embarrassment. I fought for the words, but just saying that much had been hard enough.

"Xiviyah, nothing can get between me and my vengeance. I’m not talking about a shard or kingdom, but in my war against the gods. I won’t rest until I’ve torn down the World Shard and ejected them from this world. If possible, I will ascend to fight them in the next."

I flinched, hugging his arm tighter. "You would leave Enusia?"

"I would, yes. The emperors have told me the gods’ grip on their realms is slipping. Millennia of war have pushed them to the brink. I want to be there when they fall, I want to see their hope taken like they took mine."

"I...understand," I whispered. "There are things just as important to me, too."

"And those are? What convictions do you hold that none can get between?"

"I want mortals to be free. From chains and curses, gods and demons. Everyone walks a path; I would have them choose which one."

He chuckled lightly, the vibrations rolling through his body into mine. "Our goals aren’t too far apart, then."

"But they are. The power you wield will enslave mortals as much as the gods. Nothing will change, save that the tyrants you hate will be replaced by the tyrants you serve. And yet there are still tyrants."

"You can’t ask me to give up my power," he said.

"I won’t. But I hope you understand I won’t let this world fall to demons any more than I will let the gods rule it."

"What choice do you have? Where there is Divine Mana, there will be demons. I don’t believe you could sacrifice all of Enusia’s magic, your magic, for that cause."

"There was something before the Divine Cycle, before demons and gods began their war. I’ve seen it, Luke, even if you don’t believe me. It’s never too late to change the path we’re on, not until we reach the end."

"Didn’t you hear me? We are at the end. It might not be in my lifetime, or a thousand years, but that’s but a blink in the eye of an immortal. The gods are going to fall, and with them, the words they’ve cherished and protected. If that’s not an end, I don’t know what is."

"Oblivion. Oblivion is the end, where there are no paths and no more fate. I don’t ask you to understand, just to believe me when I say that there is still hope."

"And, in turn, you’ll believe in me, and respect my convictions?" he asked.

I nodded. "I’ll stand beside you to the end, when you ascend from this world and take your fight to the Divine."

He was quiet for a long time, staring listlessly at the horizon. After a long time, he let out a heavy sigh, meeting my anxious gaze.

"To the end," he said.

I let out a pent-up breath, sagging against him. He smiled and untangled his arm from mine and slid it around my back, pulling me close. My heart fluttered as his tail brushed against mine. His cloak, now draped around my shoulders, smelled faintly of sweat and blood, but I barely noticed, caught up in his familiar scent.

"I’m sorry I forgot you," I whispered, leaning my head against his chest.

He rubbed my shoulder. "Me too. I should never have forced you to take such a desperate measure. Will you forgive me?"

"Yes," I answered softly, nuzzling him with my cheek. His heartbeat was heavy in my ear, beating faster than usual. Then again, so was mine.

We sat together for hours, watching silently as the sun approached the horizon. The sky turned crimson, the clouds burning with red, orange, and yellow. My eyes grew heavy, the events of the day catching up to me, but I couldn’t bear to let myself fall asleep. His warmth, his scent, his arm around me...I wanted it all to last forever.

"Is that one the first?"

My eyes snapped open as Luke suddenly spoke, catching me drifting on the edge of consciousness. I followed his pointing finger, finding a small fleck of silver twinkling in the eastern sky. It was beautiful, a diamond against dark velvet.

More stars appeared, chasing the graying reds and blues from east to west. My eyes misted over as I snuggled against Luke, overcome with the simple beauty of the scene. I couldn’t remember the first time I’d seen the night sky. Until this moment, I couldn’t remember seeing it at all, one of the many holes left in my mind. But I could remember wanting to see it again for the first time, and now I finally was.

"Xiviyah? Is everything alright?"

I touched my cheek, my finger coming away glistening with tears. I nodded, sniffling as I stared up at the sky.

"They’re beautiful," I said, not caring as another tear traced down my cheek.

"Only in that they remind me of you," he murmured.

It took a second for his words to register. I stiffened, my face flushing pink, my hand curling into his shirt.

"D-don’t tease me like that. I was being serious."

He smiled faintly. "So was I."

My blush darkened, and I rested my head against his chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart and breathing.

"Hey, um, Xiviyah?" Luke asked.

His heartbeat accelerated as his tail twitched, rubbing against mine.

"You know what I said before, about not being able to spare the shards?"

I nodded, and he took an uneasy breath.

"Well, er, I was telling the truth. The demon council we established at the marking of the horde would never accept something like that. But, er...Did you really find out where the World Barrier is located?"

Again, I nodded, feeling a small thrill of uncertainty. Where was he going with this?

"So, I was thinking, I wouldn’t really need to consume the shards until we begin the invasion of the southern continent. We’ve all but broken the last kingdom in the north, and a few more eighth-level demons won’t make a difference."

My heart fluttered. "What are you saying?"

"That if you can destroy the World Barrier, I will let the shards go. They’ll be useless anyway, once we take the world shard at the Divine Throne. I don’t think anyone could complain about that."

"Really?"

He smiled. "Really. And until you fail to destroy them, I’m going to assume you will. In fact, I would rather you wait as long as possible, until the very day we begin our assault. That way, the church thinks they’re safe and secure." His smile widened. "Until they’re not."

I twisted, throwing my arms around his chest. He stiffened, his eyes widening, as I hugged him tightly. He patted my back, but refrained from embracing me entirely.

"Thank you," I whispered, "Thank you, Luke."