Day 16 of Midwinter, Nightfall

The Watchful Crown, Falias

Annwn

I stood over Caicher’s mutilated body, struggling to breathe. I found myself getting lightheaded, and everything was swirling.

CALM YOURSELF, TADG. THIS WAS A NECESSARY ACCIDENT.

“Necessary accident?” I yelled aloud. I didn’t care who heard me. “I killed my brother! I murdered my kin! I am no better than my father.”

HE ATTACKED YOU. YOU CANNOT BE BLAMED FOR DEFENDING YOURSELF.

I sat down before I could pass out. I knew I needed to leave, but my mind could not get past the act I had just committed. I couldn’t take my eyes off my brother's body.

THE GUARDS APPROACH. WE MUST DISPOSE OF THE BODY.

When I didn’t respond or move, I felt Belenus take control again and approach Caicher. The room took on a red haze before my eyes. I felt heat and pressure in my face before it erupted out of my mouth, nose, and eye sockets, the sensation reminding me of how Belenus had first taken possession of my body back in Cruachan.

Caicher’s clothing was instantly incinerated. His body began to sizzle and bubble, his skin, hair, and bodily fluids quickly evaporating into a dense cloud of ash that floated around and coated my armor like fresh fallen snow, even as I heard the sound of more guards approaching.

A foreign pain shot down the length of my leg bones at the same time I felt my muscles stretching. The skin of my hands and forearms darkened slightly, my fingernails a shade darker than the area around them. I could feel my body changing. The darkness that literally manifested inside of me brought me back to the vision Belenus had shown me of the figures standing on the mouth of Tech Duinn.

As the two guards rushed into the hallway, the same scene played out again. This time, I had enough control over my body to grab a pair of leather gauntlets off the men before they were completely immolated. I thrust my changing hands into the gauntlets even as I watched them darken and change further. I was becoming a monster. No… I was already a monster, and there would be no escaping my new reality.

Belenus took us back into the residence and out onto the balcony on the opposite side of the spire. I knew, through our telepathic bond, that more guards were approaching, but we had locked all of the entryways between the hallway and where we stood. It should be enough to buy us time… but time for what, I didn’t know. There was no way for me–for us–to quietly steal Father’s sword now.

From where we stood, I could see the entire city. Beside us stood the eastern spire, the western spire obscured by the tower I was in. Below me, I saw another balcony, this one on a level reserved for military command. A figure stood there, alone and unaware of the danger he was in, his back to us.

I FEEL ALIVE.

“By taking the lives of others?” I asked, rhetorically in my mind.

WE ARE BOTH KILLERS, TADG. DO NOT LET YOUR MORALITY CONFUSE THAT FACT.

“I know what I am…”

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DO YOU? The presence of Belenus was mocking. DO YOU REALLY KNOW THE TRUE NATURE OF ANYONE… EVEN ETHADON?

My heart began to race at the mention of my brother. I forced our eyes back down to the balcony below me, to the man standing alone. He had turned to look out at the night, and sure enough, it was indeed my other older brother, Ethadon.

“Don’t do it!” I pleaded, thinking of Caicher. Even his body had disappeared, unable to be mourned. He was just… gone. Forever.

I felt an unfamiliar power radiate from me asPenitent Brand, a boon I had never used before, activated. My finger pointed to Ethadon’s back, and a bright red brand appeared on the back of his neck. He seemed completely unaware that anything was happening to him; however, upon first glance at the glowing red lines, I saw to the core of my brother.

I suddenly knew things about him that he had never told me. As a boy, he had stolen coins from a castle aide, using them to frame another. He had poisoned Bairic’s pet hawk as revenge after a particularly grueling day in the stables. I saw that for all our lives, he had dulled my blades before sparring with me. He had used his power and influence not just for the good of the kingdom, but also for his own selfish desires and pleasures. The seemingly endless list of sins played through my mind until I intentionally stopped the boon’s magic, unwilling to see more. Nᴇw novel chapters are publɪshed on ⓝovelFire.net

EVEN THOSE CLOSE TO YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF YOUR PROTECTION.

My mind reeled. Rationally, I knew that every person, changeling, human, or fae would be tainted by at least some small amount of selfishness and insecurity, and those flaws often led to hurting others. But I was shocked at the number of small and large cruelties that my brother had inflicted on those he supposedly loved. My idea of who Ethadon was had been forever changed.

YOU SEE IT NOW.

I shook my head. “I see a deeply flawed man… but he is still my brother.”

AND THAT SHOULD SAVE HIM FROM JUDGEMENT?

I didn’t know what to say for that, but I could feel a feral instinct growing inside of me, like a cat before a pounce. I bit my lip and forced my hands to grip onto the railing. “I won’t let you hurt him.”

WE WILL DO IT TOGETHER. The voice seemed to take on a cajoling tone in my mind, as if it were reassuring me as to the rightness of the violent justice it wanted to deliver.

“No!” I said. “I will call out to him and warn him.”

THAT WILL NOT PROTECT HIM.

I knew that he was right. I had met none other in Annwn that could perform the physical feats that we had done only moments before. Belenus had the strength to hunt down and destroy anyone in the central spire, with the possible exception of Father.

I wondered what else I could say or do that might sway Belenus, finally remembering another boon we hadn’t activated yet.

“I am going to show you what it means to be mortal, even in an undying world,” I said, activating Guilt-Sight before he could stop me.

We looked at Ethadon. The brand still glowed in the darkness of the balcony, but with it was now a lingering shadow, of sorts, that clung to his form. It overlapped with other shadows and floated, independent of the wind. The overlapping forms told another story to my boon-receptive mind. In them, I saw regret and sorrow for his cruel or selfish acts. For some, the grief was light and mostly forgotten, but for others, even those spaced out by countless moons, I saw deep sadness and remorse.

Through my eyes, both Belenus and I saw a deeply flawed man being held together by dissonance. All the killing and all the acts of insecurity over the years had created a lasting weight that Ethadon carried with him every day. Though I didn’t know how Guilt-Sight appeared on other individuals, I could see the heaviness of the burden he had created by his many misdeeds.

“He is flawed,” I said to the Old Power inside of me. “Like you and I. And he carries with him this burden that helps to remind him, every day, to do better… to be better.”

Belenus was silent. I wondered whether he was going over my words again, coming to the same conclusion I had. While I suspected Guilt-Sight was a boon intended to help me dole out judgment based on guilty acts, I had instead used it to paint a picture of the whole man, rather than only his deeds.

When I saw movement in the eastern spire, across from us, my hopes were dashed. Belenus was not contemplating the morality of Ethadon, but trying to assess the danger level of whoever or whatever he was watching.

With our combined attention, we were able to focus on what I recognized as a familiar man with red hair. Ruadan, my cousin and son of the Breo-Banríon, stood quietly watching us just as we had quietly watched Ethadon.

I felt the primal hunter inside of me redirect its energy from Ethadon to Ruadan, but neither party made a move to attack. I sighed, strongly suspecting a fight would be in our future, given my role in the capture of his mother. At the least, there would soon be a reckoning.