Day 18 of Midwinter, Sunrise

Granary Row, Falias

Annwn

For hours, Brigid and I fought our way toward the gatehouse that opened to the plains of Tir Tairngire, each of us wielding magic and melee weapons until our hair was matted with dried blood and our clothing pocked with singe marks from errant burning coals.

We were sweaty and tired, but we had done it. We had burned and cut our way through the Falias defenses, mowing down the city guard and any soldiers left behind by the departing army. We were more careful, the last hour or so, to avoid leaving an obvious trail of destruction in our wake, and as a result, were presently resting in the highest level of a barley silo on Granary Row.

Brigid looked out across the city, studying the wreckage of our handiwork. Lanterns and torches lit almost every thoroughfare between the southeastern gate and the Watchful Crown. The screams and moans of the dying echoed off the buildings to reach our ears, even as high as we were in our hidden perch. Fires burned across the city from where we had blown through those who wished to keep us prisoner. Hundreds who had stood in our path lay dead, with hundreds more lying injured in the streets.

I had expended boon after boon without tiring. Brigid, too, had fought at full potency until the very last fireball. Still, by the time we’d reached our refuge, the effort showed on her face, as did the wear of the days she’d spent lying in a magically induced coma. Inside me, I felt Belenus’ primal engine continuing to pump power through my limbs, and I knew that he could have fought through the budding sunrise and likely into midday before even beginning to tire.

Even if the surviving guards still looked for us, which I doubted very much, they would be unlikely to find us up here. Though Brigid was careful to stand in the shadows as she looked out over the city, I knew this place was unlikely to be visited in the few hours before sunrise. In our youth, my brothers and I had climbed each and every one of the 25 granary silos on this street in our attempts to elude father’s prying eyes. I knew from experience that we would be safe here for now…or more accurately, those that still searched would be safe from us while we remained in these silos. I also knew that I would not be safe from Brigid’s inevitable line of questioning, now that we had a moment to breathe.

“Why, Tadg? Why did he do it? No…” she murmured. “I know why he did it. But why did you go along with it?”

I leaned back against the silo wall, feeling ill. “Because I was weak.”

She hadn’t expected the stark honesty of my answer, making two of us. I could feel her gaze on me despite the darkness, and though I guessed she had some sort of dark vision boon, I felt some comfort in being blanketed by the night.

I knew I had…changed since we’d begun fighting our way from the spires. With every death, I had felt myself transforming into more of what Belenus had become. Aillén. I realized, for the first time, what the vision had truly shown me. No one had trapped the corrupted Belenus beneath Cruachan. No, as he saw himself evolving, Belenus himself had mustered all of his remaining will and buried himself deep within those impenetrable walls, a last act of the good man he had been. I felt the feathers that now decorated my flesh from hands to shoulders and wondered if I would one day have the strength to do as he had done.

I arched my back at the piercing pain shooting up my body as it moved through another growth cycle, making me larger still. The pain rippled down my arms, and feeling the gauntlets tighten painfully, I tore them off to see the beginning of black talons. Brigid took a step back from me as I tried and failed to hold back the bestial roars coming from my throat.

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When the pain subsided, I realized I couldn’t make my limbs move anymore, yet move they did. I was again nothing more than a passenger, watching as the body I had controlled my entire long life was operated by a monster.

YOU WILL SOON SEE WHAT WE ARE.

“Stay back!” I said, forcing the panicked words out through gritted teeth. “I am not the man you remember.”

The fiery queen’s expression was one of pity. “I know without seeing you fully that you are changed, both for good and for ill.” She twisted her hand in a slight motion similar to a snap–a motion I had seen many times before she used her fire magic.

“No, Brigid! Not in here!” I blurted. “You cannot light a flame in a granary silo.” It was true enough that the space inside a silo was made up as much chaff dust as it was air, with particles of grain and flour known to explode around fire, but the real reason was that I wasn’t ready for her to see what I was becoming, even as I knew I could not hide behind the dark for long. Behind Brigid, the sky had already begun to lighten.

“Listen to me,” I began. I felt Belenus’ amusement inside me, knowing it was likely the only reason he was allowing me to speak at all. “Gorias is riding to war against the Fomorians.”

“What?” Brigid startled. “We would never…”

“Please. Let me finish.” Each of my hard-fought words took twice the energy to produce. While Belenus seemed willing to let this play out, he wasn’t making this easy on me. “So much has happened since we left Emain Ablach. Your home was invaded.”

“Who would dare?!” she demanded in outrage. Flames began to flicker in her eyes as anger and worry replaced the hesitation that had kept her away from me. “Tell me what happened.”

I sighed. “Balor and Corb led a rogue group of Fomorians into Gorias and were able to secure the city, though only temporarily. The Morrigan led their army down the Slí Draíochta, with Fíadan, Bren, and your father. Your brother led the townspeople to the gate, and their combined might won the city back.”

The flames in her eyes died, leaving only pride. Fear and anger still simmered beneath the surface, but it was pride that won out. And love, I realized, love of her people and her family. It was a reaction, I realized, I had never seen in the stern countenance of my father, even as I had desperately longed for it.

“And now,” Brigid finally said. “Gorias marches to war?”

I nodded. “They take to the field of battle at sunrise today.”

Brigid turned to look at the rising sun, panic in her expression. “Why then do we sit here? We must join my people!”

If I could have held up a hand to steady her, I would have. Instead, it was Belenus who stood, though he continued to allow me control of my words. “I can get us there in moments, if you can trust me just a bit further.”

She stepped closer to me. I now towered over her, and I could feel that the proportions of my body had shifted, such that my chest stuck out slightly. With every passing moment, it was more and more visible that I was becoming something “other.” She met my gaze without a hint of fear, revulsion, or even lingering anger at having left her to rot in a cell. She smiled at me, unshed tears shining in her brilliant eyes, and moved her hands to gently cup my cheeks.

“If it is possible for a queen to be both benevolent and unyielding, then it is possible for a man to be both terrible and just. I am proud of you, Tadg.”

She pulled me into an embrace, her arms wrapping around me. Strangely, Belenus made no move to push her away. Feeling the slightest bit of slack come into my limbs, I wondered if perhaps there was a portion of Belenus that hadn’t been fully corrupted…a part of him that perhaps longed for the embrace of a loved one.

I lifted my arms slowly to return her embrace, fighting the urge to cry my pent-up tension into the golden coils of her hair. I relaxed slightly, content to simply hold her and be held in return. I knew that never again would Brigid and I share such a moment.

As the rays of sunlight fell on us more fully through the window, I activated Radiant Surge, taking us away from Falias toward the front line. I had no way of knowing if Ruadan had completed the tasks we had discussed, both acquiring the sword and bringing the fianna into the fray. I suppose I would find out soon enough.

War had indeed changed me, in ways I couldn’t have foreseen when Bairic had spoken his fateful words only a few short days ago. I felt a surge of fear, knowing that war would continue to change me.

YES, IT WILL.