The atmosphere was bleak.

Ōnoki hovered slightly above the ground, one hand pressed into his aching lower back as he glared at the mountainous pile of war expenses and resource charts.

His aide stood stiffly to the side.

"...We're broke."

That was the only way to say it. The war with Konoha had cost millions, and losing two Jinchūriki was already disastrous—but then Aizen Sōsuke came and charged them for the privilege.

The audacity.

The nerve.

The financial trauma.

"We continue for another three months and we'll owe the Land of Earth two decades of debt repayments," his aide added grimly.

Ōnoki grimaced.

He may be old, but he wasn't about to die a fool.

"...Fine," he muttered darkly. "Send word to Hiruzen. We'll pull out. Let the war end before that smug bastard decides to sell our grandchildren."

Fun fact: if they didn't pull out, he would have made sure they did.

Plus... Ōnoki now had this lingering fear in his heart that Particle Style, when used now, would spawn in his village. He wasn't trying to risk that until he found the seal.

Also—PS—that was a lie... the destroyed part of his village? Seijuro did that about a week ago during the trades, but had his Kyōka Suigetsu activated, so everyone saw it as normal. He planned for Ōnoki to try some dumb shit like attacking him.

Also, he didn't have a Particle Style counter. That was another bluff. With his illusion, while Ōnoki was forming the Particle Style jutsu, he didn't see nor feel the jutsu.

Now, tell me—

Is the jutsu really there if you cannot see it, feel it, or launch it?

Only person who could see the beam of Particle Style cubes was Seijuro—and he had the balls to lie like this.

Oh well. The second Ōnoki lost focus, the jutsu was gone. But oh well.

He didn't have to know that.

Hehehehe.

Hahahahah.

Land of Rain – Orphan Camp (During the time of the first trade)

You see, he needed a good alibi, so—hum—he used Mitosis. While yes, it reduced his strength, what it didn't reduce was the strength of his seal. That part was knowledge and skill only, so the cloning didn't do shit to it.

So anyway, around the time that his other self was beating Ōnoki and Han—

He went to the Land of Rain. The perfect alibi, really. He couldn't be in two places at once.

And to those saying, but wait, you're a slug sage, don't you have that mitosis move—yes, he did.

However, as far as the Slug Sages were aware... Seijuro's body was weak. His Yin to Yang ratio was way too unbalanced. He barely had it under control now.

His body had way too much Yin energy. If he were to split and split his Yang energy in half, both clones would die—thus killing him.

TL;DR: He couldn't perform Mitosis...

Anyway, he was here to collect the samples.

"Remember," he instructed, "mold the chakra into your soles. Balance. Focus."

Konan wobbled. Yahiko swore. Nagato just floated upward like a goddamn prodigy.

"...Tch," Jiraiya muttered.

"So you were serious about teaching them," he said, yawning a bit.

He sighed before turning, already recognizing that voice.

Seijuro.

Wearing a travel cloak, hood down, a big bag in hand, and that too-handsome-for-his-own-good smirk.

Jiraiya crossed his arms. "What are you doing here?"

"Just making sure you didn't forget how to raise children properly," Seijuro replied, holding out a satchel.

He crouched in front of the kids and opened it—

Sweets. Homemade, probably chakra-infused. Brightly colored and dusted with powdered sugar.

The orphans blinked.

Konan grabbed first. Yahiko followed. Nagato, cautious but curious, took a bite—

As for why Nagato couldn't tell his soul was split...

If the ocean was split, and you were at the bottom, would you notice any difference at all?

Or even better yet—if the universe's size was reduced by half, would you, on Earth looking up at the sky, be able to tell?

Yes. That was how large Seijuro's soul appeared to the boy.

"...This is the best thing I've ever eaten," Nagato said, deadpan.

"You flatter me," Seijuro grinned. "I made them myself," he said calmly.

Konan smiled. "You're really cool."

Jiraiya watched the trio cluster around Seijuro like ducklings around their cooler, sugar-bearing uncle. His eye twitched.

"Do you mind not stealing my students?"

Seijuro blinked. "I'm just existing, old man."

"You're interfering."

"I'm being nurturing."

Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "With snacks."

"...And a jutsu lesson." Seijuro stood and tapped the ground. "Observe."

He weaved a single hand sign.

"Earth Style: Earth Wall Jutsu."

A slab of thick earth rose behind him like a fortress.

"I wanna learn that!" Yahiko shouted.

"Me too!" Konan echoed.

Jiraiya looked visibly pained.

Nagato had already formed the tiger seal and raised a full wall behind him—flawlessly.

"Hm, natural affinity for the Earth element... hm, good to know," Seijuro said softly.

Jiraiya groaned.

"You know, for a guy who's not their teacher, you're doing a lot of teaching."

Seijuro, with a deadpan look, said, "Just being helpful."

"Help elsewhere."

"...But then who would warn Konan about you?"

Konan blinked. "Huh?"

Seijuro leaned in conspiratorially. "Rumor has it, the Pervy Sage likes them young."

Jiraiya choked. "WHAT?!"

Konan took a full step back.

Yahiko laughed. "Really?!"

"I AM NOT LIKE THAT!" Jiraiya shouted. "Besides—she doesn't even have a—!"

Konan's eyes narrowed. "A what?"

"NOTHING!" he yelped. "You're lovely just the way you are—!"

Seijuro clapped him on the shoulder. "Digging that hole, huh?"

"I WILL BURY YOU IN IT."

Nagato's second wall went up behind Jiraiya.

"Now that's symmetry," Seijuro chuckled.

Jiraiya grabbed his hair and groaned. "You're lucky Tsunade likes you."

"She likes me a lot, actually."

"Yeah? Remind me to poison your sake later."

"Sensei will not be too happy knowing you were planning to assassinate her favorite student," he said softly.