CHAPTER 32: CHANGE

Chapter 32

JULIAN POLE

We got home, and for real, my dad grounded us.

He said it calmly, the way he says everything, which somehow makes it worse.

After talking to the doctor and getting a few more updates, they said I could go home. So my dad drove us back that night.

Physically, I’m fine. Health-wise, I mean. But with everything that’s happened, I’m not fine inside. My body’s just tired, but my brain won’t stop running laps.

Now it’s late, and my friends and I are all lying on my bed. We already had dinner, but Rico and Luka refused to go home. They said they’re staying the night since we’ll just head to school straight from here tomorrow.

Honestly, I didn’t argue. I didn’t want to be alone anyway.

The room feels too quiet even with them snoring beside me. I can’t tell if it’s just a long night or if I’m the problem. I keep turning, over and over again. My head’s pounding like there’s a movie playing in there with no pause button.

After tossing for what feels like forever, I finally get up and grab my phone from the nightstand. I unlock it, start scrolling through my contacts, pretending to browse aimlessly. But I know who I’m looking for.

I just keep scrolling like an idiot, trying to fool myself.

After everything that’s happened, my heart still whispers the same name. It still wants him. I’m not crazy, but it’s him I want. Jace Marino. The man who lies like it’s a language, fights like he’s got nothing to lose, and still looks at me like I’m something he can’t let go.

He told me he’s not getting married, and maybe I’m a fool, but I’m holding onto that.

I open his contact, my thumb hovering over the screen. I hesitate. Should I call him or text him? If I call, there’s so much I want to say, but I know my voice will betray me. I’ll either choke or cry or say something stupid.

So I settled for texting.

Me: "You okay?"

Delete.

Me: "I miss you."

Delete.

Me: "Are you coming to college tomorrow?"

Delete.

I type again:

"When I see you tomorrow, you’re not going to say a word. You’ll just hold me, squeeze my hands, kiss me, and tell me how much you missed me, and then—"

And then—and then—and then...

I deleted it.

I don’t just lock my phone; I switch it off completely.

I don’t even realize I’m crying until the tears start falling. Quiet at first, then harder. I don’t bother hiding it. I just let them fall.

I thought my friends were asleep, but then Rico’s arm wraps around my shoulder. Luka shifts closer, and before I know it, I’m in their arms. I just cried there. It’s not the first time. Probably won’t be the last.

"Come lie down in the middle," Rico says quietly.

And I do. Between the two of them, with their warmth pressing in from both sides, the ache eases just a little.

Morning comes faster than I expect.

My mom keeps checking in on me every five minutes. What can I say? She’s a nurse — it’s basically her full-time personality.

We have breakfast together. She keeps refilling my cup with orange juice like it’ll fix anything. I smile, thank her, and pretend to eat even though I can barely taste anything.

By the time we set out for school, my body’s buzzing with nerves. I tell myself it’s just first-day-back anxiety, but I know it’s something else.

I can’t wait to see him.

Since the bus stop’s close to my house, we decided to take the bus. Luka and Rico are on either side of me, like bodyguards. They keep talking about how they’ll handle things if "shit goes down." I laugh at them, but deep down, I’m grateful.

When we get to campus, it’s crowded — probably because exams are coming up. Students are rushing everywhere, the air filled with chatter and caffeine. It’s weird how normal everything looks when my whole life feels upside down.

"Are you gonna be alright seeing him today?" Rico asks, glancing at me.

I nod. "Yeah."

"Cool," he says simply.

"If you need us, we’re one call away," Luka adds.

I smile. "I know."

These two — I don’t joke with them. They’ve been here since day one. Through my panic attacks, my breakdowns, the weird nights when I thought I was losing my mind.

Out of nowhere, someone hugs all three of us from behind.

"Guess who?"

We all groan.

Liam.

Yeah, that Liam — the guy whose party Luka dragged us to, where we almost died.

"What do you want?" Rico asks without even looking back.

"Dude, aren’t you happy to see me?" Liam says, grinning.

"Not at all," Rico replies flatly.

"Come on, man! I never did anything bad to you."

Rico raises an eyebrow. Luka jumps in before it turns ugly. "Should I remind you what you did?"

"One, you spilled Red Bull on his shirt last semester."

"I said I was sorry! I was rushing to practice, and that was ages ago!" Liam defends himself.

"Sorry, man," Luka says, "he holds grudges. And two, you almost got us killed at your party. What the hell does your family even do?"

"Man, I’m sorry. I swear, I don’t even know what happened that night," Liam says, his eyes full of guilt.

Rico clicks his tongue. "Why are you here?"

"We’re heading the same way, if you haven’t noticed," Liam says. "Dude, stop being so cold to me. I just want to be your friend! That’s why I threw that party, to make real friends. But everyone turned out fake. I like how you guys roll. Am I asking for too much?"

He says it all in one breath.

"Dude, breathe," Luka says, patting his back.

"What do you expect? I’m a swimmer," Liam says with a grin.

Rico rolls his eyes. "Fine."

"Yes!" Liam fist-pumps.

"But don’t celebrate yet," Rico adds. "There are terms and conditions."

"I don’t mind," Liam says quickly. "You guys are so cool."

I laugh a little. I always thought we were boring. Guess not.

We keep walking through the quad, the wind blowing leaves across the pavement.

"Anyone check the student news board?" Liam asks suddenly.

We all say "no" at the same time.

He shrugs. "Professor Jace’s board is empty. It says he quit over the weekend."

My world stops.

"What?" I say, too sharp, too loud.

"What?" Liam echoes, confused. "Yeah, the notice was pinned this morning."

He didn’t tell me anything like that.

Did he really leave?

No.

He promised he’d come back.

He wouldn’t leave me like this. Not after everything.

"Jules," Luka’s voice pulls me back.

"I’m fine," I say quickly. "I’m fine."

But I’m not.

I shrug his hand off my shoulder and start walking ahead. My heart’s hammering. The world’s too bright, too loud.

He better be joking.

He better be.

Because if he really left, if he just disappeared again after everything — after the hospital, after the look in his eyes when he said I’m not getting married — then I swear I’ll drag him back myself.

He thinks he’s the only one who gets to decide for both of us?

Bullshit.

I’m taking him back.

I was here before Aiko.

Hell, I’ve seen him vulnerable — raw, broken, human.

I’m taking him back.

I don’t care.

I don’t care.

He’s not marrying shit.

I’m dragging his ass back with me.

He’s mine.