CHAPTER 44: BABY

Chapter 44

JULIAN POLE

"Do you even know how to hold a brush?" I asked Rico, who wouldn’t stop distracting me while I was painting.

"Dude, be for real. I hold my toothbrush well."

I stared at him blankly before we both burst out laughing.

"Go away."

"I’m itching for someone to disturb. Luka won’t let me."

"Then leave us alone. You’re way too loud."

I looked at him suspiciously. That’s what he does when something isn’t right or maybe he’s just trying to take my mind off the shit that’s been happening these last few days.

We’re all still camping at Luka’s. I don’t think any of us have any intention of going home until... whenever.

"You gon’ teach me or not?" he said, stomping his feet like a baby.

I groaned. "Why do you even want to paint now?"

He’s just trying to make conversation. I showed them the unknown text I got the other day, and things haven’t been the same since.

"Fine, fine," I said. He smirked.

"I don’t think you can hold a brush, maybe a pencil can do."

"I can," he whined.

"Richard, we’re starting from sketching some random, simple objects. In or not?"

"I’m sure our birth certificates clearly say who’s older," he said matter-of-factly. I stared at him.

"Fine."

"That’s what I thought."

"Jules."

We both turned toward the door.

"Jules," Luka called again.

"What?" I asked. He was holding my phone.

He turned the screen so I could see why he was fussing, but he was still standing at the door, too far for me to read it.

"Boy, if you don’t get in here," Rico said.

Luka sighed and came closer. "It’s Jace. He texted you."

The way I stood up. Honestly, I don’t think the flash has ever moved that fast. I didn’t even care about the paint I’d just spilled. I’d clean it later.

I grabbed the phone from him. And lo and behold, there it was:

Just one word.

Baby.

I think my friends could hear my heartbeat. My whole body felt alive and dead at the same time.

"Can I call him?"

"Why the hell are you asking us?" Luka said.

"I... I don’t know. Maybe—"

"Jesus, Jules. Calm down, you’re shaking. Call him, text him, whatever you want. He’s your man. We’re here if you need anything." Luka said, and I nodded before heading upstairs to his room.

I sat on the bed, debating. Call or text? What if he’s sleeping?

I miss you.

I really do. I think my heart’s going to stop from how much I miss him.

Then my phone started ringing.

He’s calling me.

I should pick up, right?

Of course I’m going to pick up.

I sat up straight on the bed and answered. "Jace," I whispered.

And then his deep voice came through. "Baby."

That was all it took for me to start crying. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear his voice until now.

"Please don’t cry," he said softly. "I’m trying to stay strong, but if you cry, I think I’ll fall apart."

"Little bear?" he murmured. "Talk to me, baby."

"I miss you," I managed. "I miss you so much it’s becoming unhealthy."

"Do you mind?" he asked.

"What?"

"If I burn this world so it would be just us left?"

My laugh was small. "Can you even do that?"

"I can, and I will if I must. The stupid world is making my little bear cry. They’re hurting what’s mine, forgetting that I’m a possessive motherfucker."

I laughed through my tears.

"Sorry," he said quickly. "Didn’t mean to swear."

"I don’t know if you’re serious or just bluffing."

"I don’t bluff."

"Sure you don’t." My tears were drying now.

"You didn’t find me," I whispered.

"I will. With my last drop of blood, I will." His voice deepened, serious now.

"I love you."

I swear I didn’t know when the words slipped out. I’d been biting them back because I felt like if I gave him all of me, I’d be the one left hurting. But I couldn’t hold it anymore, and I’m grateful I said it because I don’t think I’ll get another chance.

"I promise never to hurt you or make you cry," he said. "I’m working on it. I love you a lot."

I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me.

"We’re gonna get past this phase. And when we reach the one where we get married, I’m gonna say, I told you so."

"Are you proposing to me in advance?"

"Oh shit, if I’m proposing in advance, I gotta give you a promise ring, right?"

I laughed out loud.

"I bet you look so beautiful right now. You’re so fucking beautiful when you laugh or smile. Don’t smile for anybody else, I’m the only one who gets to see it."

"Okay, okay."

"I’m serious, ciccino."

"What does that mean?"

"Ciccino?"

"Yes."

"That’ll be your homework."

"I think you forgot you’re no longer my professor. I can do what I want now."

"Hahaha," he faked a laugh. "You wanna find out?"

The way his voice dropped sent a shiver down my spine.

My voice was shaky when I answered, but I masked it with a cough. "Yes."

"You wouldn’t like that."

"I’m always up for a new challenge."

I couldn’t see him, but I knew he was nodding, that evil smirk on his face.

"Good," he said. "Because I don’t plan on going easy on you."

I gulped.

"Tell me about school since I left. I like when you talk."

I lay back on the bed and started rambling about everything. classes, Luka and Rico. Leaving out the rumors spreading about him on campus. We talked about everything and nothing at the same time.

We must’ve been on the phone for five hours. Oh my god.

When we finally ended the call, I just lay there, smiling like an idiot. My friends came up, and I sat up grinning at them.

"How do you feel, lover boy?" Rico asked.

"I feel... I don’t know. Euphoric? I feel so good."

"Of course you do. The clock says 3:22 a.m., of course you feel good," Luka said.

"I thought you guys would be asleep by now."

"No, we want to hear about this call. Everything," Luka said, climbing onto the bed. Rico followed.

"Privacy, Lukas."

They both stared at me. I caved immediately.

"He said he was going to marry me and I think he was serious."

"I call dibs on the best man," Rico said. "Luka’s gonna be the maid of honor."

"What the hell? No."

"Yes! If they’re getting married, Juju’s gonna be the wife, so he needs a maid of honor. Since we’re two, you’re the maid of honor, I’m the best man."

"You don’t get to decide that," Luka said, rolling his eyes. "Jules, who are you choosing?"

They both looked so serious, like I was actually getting married tomorrow.

"You both," I said finally, "are going to be my flower boys."

"Hell no."