The Heroes Who Executed Me Are Obsessed With Me
Chapter 185 : When You Don't Know Yourself (1)
"Lin."
Barungenia.
Clay had sought out Lin's laboratory and was asking.
"Have you looked into what I asked for?"
"I looked into it. But..."
Lin, her words trailing off, sighed.
"I couldn't figure it out."
"You couldn't figure it out?"
"I can't grasp what kind of body it is. I can't be sure what kind of being Selimia is."
What Clay had asked of Lin was to find out whatever she could about Selimia's body.
The judgment was that if they learned about her body, they would naturally get a clue as to what kind of being she was.
"I asked Golche too, and that one said it didn't know either."
"Golche? Didn't Selimia express any aversion?"
"It was fine. Selimia was actually the one who asked for it first."
"It seems you couldn't examine her secretly."
"She had already figured it all out."
Although Clay had asked her to check Selimia's body under the pretext of a health check-up, if possible without her noticing, she already knew about the situation she was in.
"I think she just didn't say anything because she didn't want to make you uncomfortable."
Lin shrugged her shoulders.
"Because she doesn't know if she's a being that will be a help or a harm."
"I did it because I didn't want her to worry about that."
Selimia was an unknown entity. Although Clay had described her as another card, whether she could actually become one was something they would have to wait and see.
That was why he had also asked Lin to look into Selimia.
"It can't be helped."
In fact, it was rather difficult to hope that Selimia wouldn't know about this situation. If she had accepted it herself, it might have been a relief.
"So you're saying you found out nothing about Selimia?"
"Hmm..., not exactly."
Lin brought a piece of paper from her desk.
"This is what I found out about Selimia, want to take a look?"
Clay took the paper and checked its contents.
"What does this mean?"
The conclusion written there was that she was neither human, nor demon, nor any other spirit or inanimate object.
"It's just as it says. It means she's something else that doesn't fall into those categories."
Lin interpreted the contents for him.
"From what I can see, the possibility of her being a divine being seems the highest."
"A divine being?"
"Yes."
Lin nodded her head.
"Unless her very 'rank' is high, it's difficult for my tests to yield so little information."
"......"
A divine being.
At those words, Clay let out a groan.
'She didn't seem like something like that.'
But it was also true that there were some suspicious points that made it hard to just call her a byproduct of nature.
"Could it be related to the fact that Selimia has feelings for me?"
"That... I don't think so."
At Clay's question, Lin made a troubled face.
"But you do care about that kind of thing."
"That kind of thing?"
"About what kind of feelings the people around you have for you."
"I wonder."
Because you can feel those things without paying attention. In the first place, was there anyone who didn't know what kind of feelings Selimia had for him?
"I'm just stating what anyone can see."
"So you don't care?"
"I do."
Perhaps it was an unexpected answer, as Lin's eyes widened.
"You do?"
"Yes."
Although he acted indifferently, he was originally a person rich in emotions.
"It's just that, unlike before, I don't know how to deal with those emotions, so I just treat everyone without much difference."
"Wow."
Lin was impressed.
"I see. I thought you were a really stiff person."
"Well, I am now, so you're not wrong."
"No, but aren't you different with Beatrice?"
Lin asked as if in doubt.
"You seem pretty affectionate with Beatrice."
"On Beatrice's side?"
"You too. So, both sides."
At those words, Clay stroked his chin with his hand.
"Did I show it that much?"
"You didn't make a big show of it, but I think you showed it to some extent."
"I see."
Clay let out a slight sigh.
"Beatrice is the one who made me who I am now. Without her, I would have had no choice but to just die."
"It seems you are that kind of being to Beatrice too."
"Yes."
Beatrice too was about to turn her back on the world when she met Clay.
"We leaned on each other and continued on to our next life. So even the me of now will probably be a little more honest with Beatrice. Conversely, the same would be true for Beatrice."
"Then how about showing some interest in Selimia too?"
Lin suddenly suggested.
"It'll be hard for her to realize what she is if you just tell her to find out on her own. If it were an easy task, she would have found out on her own long ago."
"I don't know if anything will change just because I show interest."
"In the first place, there might be something in the reason she came to have feelings for you, right?"
Even if her current feelings for him were a different story, there might be some clue at the starting point.
"Try moving around with Selimia again for a while. In the meantime, I'll look into it a bit more based on the tests I've done so far."
As she said that, Lin recommended a place for him to go with Selimia.
"You know there's a library here in Barungenia, right? There are quite a lot of ancient books that even I haven't read."
There were many that only the Demon King was allowed to read.
"Even if you give permission, the amount is so large that it would be overwhelming for Selimia to read on her own. It might be helpful if you showed some interest and stayed with her."
"Hmm."
The library.
The fact that he hadn't looked into it beforehand was something Clay couldn't help but regret, as the information here might have been more clearly recorded in the Akashic Records.
'It can't be helped.'
Considering Yuru, it was better to give up any lingering attachment to the Akashic Records.
'It's not even certain if the Akashic Records are truly an all-powerful library.'
Looking at the situation so far, if the Akashic Records were a repository of all information, then Yuru's movements would inevitably raise questions.
After all, if Yuru, who had reached Origin, were to master all the information in the Akashic Records, she would become a truly unapproachable monster.
'Of course, even if the information is there, finding it might be the harder part.'
The fact that it recorded all the events of the world also meant that there was a vast amount of information.
Even if the search process was simplified with magic, the time it would take to filter out the necessary content would by no means be short.
In other words, at this point in time when the situation was changing from moment to moment, it might be difficult for it to display immediate effectiveness.
'It's all just speculation.'
Even if he tried to find an answer, there was nothing certain. All he could do was to choose what he could choose right now.
"I understand for now, Lin."
He decided to act on Lin's advice.
"I will also put effort into Selimia's matter."
"I'll tell you where she is. She told me where she was going after the check-up."
As she said that, Lin stared intently at him.
"But you have to tell me if there's something wrong with you too."
"Wrong?"
"You destroyed the method to restore your body yourself."
The matter of breaking the stone monument. Seeing Lin mention it, Clay let out a hollow laugh.
"You're not holding it against me, are you?"
"It would be a lie if I said I wasn't."
Lin grumbled.
"I worked hard to make it. It was all for you."
"I know."
But that was his resolve. Clay couldn't back down from here.
"Elhaen is a cunning god. He won't show his true form unless he thinks he can take me."
Catching his underlings or clones wouldn't end this twisted story.
"Somehow, Elhaen's true body must be destroyed. To do that, I must also know how to use myself as bait."
"Don't overdo it."
Lin expressed her concern.
"Everyone has changed a little since you became the Demon King. Those who lived barbarically have learned a system and are now dreaming of a revival."
"It's just that a chance for a positive interpretation has arisen by chance."
"That's not it."
Lin said.
"It's thanks to you."
From a certain point, the demon race had been engrossed only in fighting. There was no particular reason for that fight.
"There's not much difference between the previous Demon King and you in terms of seeking revenge, but the emotions you aim for are different."
Before, the demons were filled only with hatred. Except for the previous Demon King, everyone was just buried in baseless emotions.
"Under your command, they began to understand strategy and negotiation. They also started to distinguish friend from foe by sides rather than by race."
In fact, that was something very basic, but,
"The demons had lost the basics. Because you acted with thought, everyone was influenced."
Whether Clay intended it or not, the demons were regaining their status as a race that held one of the axes of this world.
"So right now, your existence is incredibly important to the demons."
Achieving a balance of power and status was only possible because Clay was holding the center.
"I have no intention of living my life classified as a monster in this world."
Lin clenched her small fist tightly.
"Make us the definitive ruling race."
That was the ideal ending she wished for the demon race.
"There's still a long way to go. So getting hurt or dying is not an option."
Hearing those words, Clay finally understood what she was talking about.
"Yes. I'll try."
It seemed he was now receiving the expectations from the demon race that he had once received from humanity. It could have felt like a burden, but Clay didn't dislike the feeling.
Was it because it was once the driving force that kept him alive?
If so, he should have disliked it, but the fact that he couldn't made it nothing short of ironic.
"Now then, can you tell me Selimia's location?"
"Ah, where Selimia went was..."
At Clay's question, Lin hurriedly pointed her finger somewhere. Clay looked at Lin for a moment, then started to walk.
***
♧
Selimia was in a state of confusion.
Because the instruction to find out about herself was too vague.
'What... am I?'
Doesn't one usually know what kind of being they are?
'Why do I have no thoughts at all...'
She could have at least harbored some suspicion all this time, but she had just been living. As if she had just been living like that.
'I don't know.'
It seemed she hadn't been living as something clearly defined. Even when she was in Hanumayer, she had only lived by imitating something.
She knew that in a colorless world where she had no self, only Clay had looked different.
He hadn't tried to define her as a specific being even though he knew she wasn't human.
As if he had caught a glimpse of something extraordinary in her.
She couldn't know what he had actually been thinking. It was just that at the time, for some reason, it had been a comfort.
"Selimia."
At the sudden voice, she turned her head back.
Standing there was none other than Clay.
(End of Chapter)