CHAPTER 155: CHAPTER 155: THE BREAKING POINT

Lorraine’s POV

It felt like a dream. No.... it felt worse than a dream.

Dreams, at least, faded.

This wouldn’t.

I blinked once. Twice. Then again.

The stump was still there.

A wave of nausea rolled through me. My stomach tightened, rising like bile in my throat. I turned my face away, trying not to look. But I couldn’t help it. My eyes kept going back, like my body didn’t believe it yet. As though one more glance would show it wasn’t real.

But it was real.

Where my arm should have been, smooth, pink skin had healed over. No raw tissue. No bleeding. My wolf had done its job. It had sealed the wound.

It had saved my life.

But it hadn’t brought back my arm.

"No... No no no no no" The words fell out of my mouth in choked, trembling gasps.

This wasn’t real.

I felt the panic creep up my spine like a thousand icy spiders. My chest tightened, my breath came in rapid bursts, and the walls, goddess, the walls, they felt like they were pressing in on me, too close, too tight.

I screamed.

Loud. Raw. A sound that clawed up from my lungs and tore out of my throat like something primal.

And then I thrashed.

I kicked the blanket away violently. I jerked back so hard I hit the headboard. My legs scrambled across the mattress as though trying to run from the truth, from the stump, from this body I didn’t recognize anymore.

My right hand kept reaching for something that was no longer there. I reached to push myself up, only to collapse with a gasp when there was no balance, no strength on that side to hold me.

I nearly fell off the bed. My heart beat like a hammer in my ears. I was crying, gasping, choking all at once. The tears poured hot and wild down my face. My lips trembled. My throat ached.

"Lorraine," I heard Kieran’s voice, panicked, closer now.

"Stay away from me!" I screamed.

My voice cracked. It didn’t even sound like me.

I was slipping. Spiraling.

"I can’t...." I was barely forming words. "I can’t do this. I can’t.... This isn’t happening!"

My entire body was trembling.

It felt like the ground under me had cracked open, and I was falling, freefalling into something dark, endless, and cold. Like I’d crossed into a version of myself I didn’t know, couldn’t recognize. I wasn’t a fighter. Not right now. Not anymore.

I was... broken.

"I said stay the hell away from me!" I screamed again when I felt Kieran step forward.

He paused, wounded, but didn’t say another word.

I turned to Astrid, shaking like a leaf in a storm.

"Why?" I asked her, my voice broken, but my eyes locked onto hers like a lifeline. "Why didn’t it grow back?"

"Lorraine...."

"No!" I shouted. "Answer me! I lost a finger before, and it grew back. So why not now? Why didn’t my wolf grow it back?!" I was screaming now, but I didn’t care. The grief had hollowed out my chest, replaced it with something acidic and burning.

Astrid stared at me, silent. That silence was confirmation enough.

There was no fixing this.

And suddenly, I hated my wolf. I hated myself. I hated that I lived. I hated everything.

I felt Kieran try again, a step forward, maybe two.

But the fire in my chest snapped like a whip.

"Get. Out."

He stopped. I didn’t look to see the expression on his face, I couldn’t bear it. I just kept crying.

"Everyone, leave. I don’t want to see any of you. Not him. Not anyone."

Astrid turned to the others, gave a tight nod.

I heard the door open and close. Then thete was silence.

Finally.

I tried to breathe, but it hitched. My sobs shook me again, and my body collapsed sideways onto the bed.

That’s when Astrid came to me.

She didn’t say anything. Just moved to the edge of the bed and opened her arms.

And I broke all over again.

I collapsed into her embrace like I was five years old again and the world had ended. I cried so hard I thought my throat would bleed.

I didn’t know how long I sobbed in Astrid’s arms before I finally found the voice to ask it. My voice was raw and trembling, barely more than a whisper.

"Is there.... really nothing you can do?"

Astrid held me tighter for a second before slowly pulling back to look into my face. Her expression was still, but her eyes, those calculating eyes, held something rare.

Regret.

I repeated, louder now, almost pleading, "Some kind of magic? A spell? A forbidden ritual? Anything..... anything at all?"

She opened her mouth. Closed it. Then shook her head slowly.

"No, Lorraine," she said gently. "If your wolf didn’t bring it back... then there’s nothing we can do."

"No," I whispered.

She reached to touch my face, to ground me maybe, but I jerked away from her hand.

"No, you’re wrong," I croaked, tears spilling again. "You have to be wrong."

"There’s nothing," she repeated, softer this time. "I’m so sorry."

And just like that, the tiny flicker of hope I’d been gripping with bloodied fists went out.

Gone.

My breath hitched. My chest tightened. Something cold and bottomless opened up inside me.

"Then you shouldn’t have tried to wake me up," I whispered.

"What?" Astrid asked, her brows drawing together.

"You shouldn’t have saved me!" I screamed, louder this time, the pain crashing through me like a tsunami. "None of you should have! You all wasted your effort, your magic, your time. You should’ve just let me die!"

Astrid tried to reach for me again, but I shoved her off with my good arm. "Don’t touch me!"

"Lorraine, please..."

"I don’t want to live like this!" I wailed, and my voice cracked from the weight of it. "I can’t, do you understand? I can’t be like this for the rest of my life! I fought.... I fought so hard, and now this is what I have left?! Half a body?!"

Astrid’s expression tightened with hurt, but she stayed silent. Still. Letting me scream. Letting me bleed.

"I lpst Callum. I lost almost allmy feral mates. I lost Elise," I whispered, my voice breaking all over again. "I lost my arm. I lost everything that made me feel strong. What’s even left of me now?"

She took a slow step toward me again. "You’re still here."

"I don’t want to be," I muttered. "I don’t want to be here like this."

I turned my face away from her, trembling and exhausted.

"I want to be alone."

"Lorraine...."

"I said I want to be alone," I said again, sharper this time.

Astrid paused for a beat, looking at me

I didn’t look at her, but I heard the soft shuffle of her boots. The faint sound of her breath catching, as if she wanted to say something but didn’t.

Then the door creaked open.

And closed.

She was gone.

And I was alone.

Just me... and the absence where my arm used to be.

I don’t know how long I laid there, just me and the shadows and the hollow throb in my chest.

No one came back in. Not Astrid. Not Kieran. Good.

Because if anyone had seen me like this again, what was left of me, I think I’d shatter for real.

I turned my face toward the wall, cold against my skin. My good arm pressed against my stomach as if that could hold me together. My breath hitched. Over and over.

I can’t do this.

Not like this.

I can’t fight like this. I can’t win anything. I can’t get revenge for Elise. I can’t even lift a damn blade properly.

I stared at the empty space where my left arm should’ve been.

A stump.

A scar.

A cruel reminder.

My breath grew shallow, my heart banging against my ribs like a prisoner desperate to escape.

And then I saw it, just there, on the metal table beside the bed.

A scalpel.

Small. Sharp. Precise.

Just one slice. I thought

It wouldn’t even hurt, not really. Not compared to what I’ve already felt. What I am currently feeling.

It is better than living like this.

Better than being half of myself. A broken warrior. A crippled feral girl who dared to dream of surviving a world that was never built for her.

I slid off the bed.

The world spun. My legs buckled. They were now too weak and shaky to lift me up

I hit the floor hard, gasping, but I didn’t cry out. I couldn’t.

I couldn’t even do that with dignity.

So I crawled.

Slowly. Desperately. My good hand dragging my weight toward the table.

It was a pathetic sight.

But I reached.

My fingers wrapped around the scalpel. Cold. Comforting.

I turned it in my hand. The edge glinted faintly in the dark.

Just one cut.

And it will all stop.

I brought it to my throat.

Tears streamed down my cheeks, quiet and unrelenting.

"I’m sorry," I whispered to Elise. To myself. To the ghost I’ve become.

And then....

I slashed.

The pain was instant. A flash of heat. The spray of blood was warm against my chest.

The world tilted sideways. The walls blurred. My body collapsed like a ragdoll.

Darkness crept in.

And just as it started to take me, just as I welcomed the silence.....

"Lorraine!"

The door slammed open.

I heard the voice.

Kieran.

No.... not now, please, don’t see me like this....

But he did.

I saw his face as I slipped.

The horror in his eyes.

The blood draining from his own skin.

"NO NO!" he roared.

And then the dark took me.