"Zoom! Woosh! Nyoom! Fly, kitty, fly!" Miji giggled as she held a small Catkagi in the air while running around the garden with her like a toy plane. "Nyooom! Bang! Bang! Bang! Boom!"

"MEW! MEW! MEW MEW!" Akagi meowed as she was wooshed around while Miji made plane-shooting noises as she pretended to take out flying enemies.

"Kitty will beat all the bad guys!" Miji continued to giggle as she ran around the garden, all while Akagi made plane and wooshing noises to make it more realistic.

"What in the hell am I watching?" Kana deadpanned as her eyes followed the two run around. She'd heard all kinds of noise outside, and figured that her sister was playing with Miji.

*BANG* *BANG* *BANG* *ZOOM* *WOOSH* *ZAP*

"And here we have an intense aerial battle between the Flying Kitty Forces of Dumetor and the Invisomonsters, of course!" Mika said while recording a video to post on her socials. "Do you not see the heroic Kitty forces downing all those evil monsters who seek to disturb our peace?!? She protects us all from such evil beings! Truly she is a kitty of goodness!"

"Mika, the only thing disturbed here is you." Kana said as she rolled her eyes while her friend continued to laugh. "But then again, we like that part about you."

"Yeah, it's why we keep her." Naomi agreed with a chuckle.

"It's not because I'm cute?!?" Mika asked with fake shock.

"I mean, you're a bit cute." Kana replied with a snicker of her own. "But that wacky side is why we like you."

“It keeps things lively.” Naomi nodded in agreement as the two laughed.

"Hmpf." Mika huffed as she shut off her recording. “Meanies!”

{Don't be jealous of my inexorability!} (Mika)

"Oh look, Kitty! More friends!" Miji's voice brought the three out of their little discussion just in time to see dozens of small paper airplanes zipping toward the garden from high altitude.

"Oh no! It's the Visomonsters! They're even more dangerous than their invisible counterparts! Kitty, save us!" Mika said before getting a bap on the back of the head from Kana and Naomi for her bad joke.

"Go get 'em, Kitty!" Miji held out the small Catkagi and aimed her at the incoming paper planes.

"MEW!" Akagi mewed before unleashing blasts of lasers from her eyes and shooting down the planes, which caught fire and crashed softly into the grass.

*ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP* *ZAP*

"Oh, man! I really should've kept recording recording!" Mika pouted as she rubbed the back of her head from the pain. "Kitty zapping planes would've been a million views! Easy!"

"Mika, I swear..." Kana sighed before shaking her head, deciding not to respond. "Never mind."

"At this rate, Mika's just going to turn into one of those influencer types that does nothing but post on the net all day." Naomi commented.

"Turn into?" Kana said with raised an eyebrow. "She already is

. Mika has a whole channel dedicated to Onee-chan doing dumb things and she even has a second one dedicated to her own Magical Girl persona!”

{And somehow THAT one has more subscribers! HOW?!?} (Kana)

"What can I say, people love Magical Girl Star Guardian!" Mika said with a toothy smile. “My cutness level bring in all the good people of the world!

"More like degenerates on the internet enjoy seeing a 'real' Magical Girl." Kana retorted, her words tripping with heavy innuendo.

"That's fine too." Mika shrugged, not caring about such things. "Whatever keeps them coming is fine with me since at the end of the day they're showing up to appreciate me."

"Oh god, she's going to go off the deep end and become a true attention whore." Kana said with a groan as she imagined what Mika would get up to in the future.

{Please don't go on the internet and post things you'd be ashamed to show your parents, Mika.} (Kana)

"Too late for that." Naomi said. "That's been Mika since the day we met her."

"Hey! It's called engagement farming! Get it right!" Mika hissed, protesting the use of such a negative descriptor. "I find out what people want and give it to them! There's nothing wrong with that!"

{I'm an entrepreneur! The people want cute so I give it to them! Its simple!} (Mika)

"Yeah, but by that logic, you could transform into Star Guardian and start-" Kana's very inappropriate comment was interrupted by Miji's loud shriek.

"Hurrah! You blew them all up, Kitty!" Miji said as she spun around with the kitty in her arms, laughing. "We did it! We beat the evil bad guys!" She said as she pulled the Catkagi in for a tight hug. “You blewed them all up!”

"MEW!" Akagi mewed happily as she was squished.

"Oh no, Onee-chan is going to explode..." Kana sighed as she imagined the sight of a crying and scared Miji picking up the scattered pieces of the kitty.

{Pop goes the kitty...} (Kana)

"Didn't Yumi threaten to take away snuggle time if she explodes in front of Miji?" Mika asked as she watched Akagi get squeezed like a hug pillow.

"She did, but I'm 99% certain that Yumi would last all of five minutes before caving." Kana replied, waiving off Yumi's threat as the farce that it was. “That idiot can't live without this idiot.”

"Yeah, she'd probably beg for forgiveness for daring to reject Akagi's pet requests." Naomi laughed as she imagined Yumi pleading for forgiveness.

"I can imagine Yumi bawling her eyes out as she squishes the kitty in the corner and requests that she find it in her heart to forgive-" Mika's comment was interrupted by another smack on the back of her head, this time from one of Yumi's paper fans.

*SMACK*

"Stop spouting nonsense." Yumi grumbled as she put the fan away. "I would never do such a thing. I'll have you know that I'm more than capable of holding my ground against her."

"Shall I break out the list of all the times you didn't?" Kana asked with a snicker.

"I got her to let us worship her and didn't back down, so that should be enough proof that I can dig my heels in when it comes to what I feel is right." Yumi said as Mika rubbed the back of her head.

{WHY MUST EVERYONE SMACK ME?!? NAOMI AND KANA WERE MAKING FUN OF HER TOO! SO WHERE ARE THEIR SMACKS?!? THIS IS DISCRIMINATION!} (Mika)

"All it's going to take is a little kitty whimpers and you're hearts going to melt." Kana said as she mocked the Priestess. "Yumis, pweeze pets mees. Am goodest kitty!" She said while making a cute voice to mimic Akagi's cat voice.

{Kana is wayyyyyy to good at that voice.} (Mika x Naomi)

"I'd hit you with this fan, but it won't do anything." Yumi hissed as she lamented being unable to properly hurt Kana.

{OH! SO YOU ONLY HIT ME BECAUSE IT HURT?!? AT LEAST HIT NAOMI TOO TO MAKE IT FAIR!} (Mika)

"Sister!" Miji said with a big smile as she ran over, kitty in her arms. "Did you see me and the kitty shoot down all the bad paper guys? Didjya?!?"

"Yes, and it was very cool." Yumi's face returned to its usual warmth as she pat Miji on the head. "You saved us all. Thank you, Miji!"

"And look!" Miji held Akagi out in front of her. "I found out that the kitty can do something funny when you squeeze her!"

{Oh no...} (Yumi x Kana x Mika x Naomi)

"Come on, kitty. Do it again!" Miji said as she squeezed the poor Catkagi tighter than she ever had before, resulting in the unexpected sound of a squeak coming from the small cat. "Isn't it funny? Listen!"

*SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK*

"Pff..." Kana barely continued her laughter at hearing her sister squeak like a chew toy.

{Onee-chan...} (Kana)

"Since when do you squeak?!?" Yumi asked with complete bafflement.

{And why haven't you squeaked for me?!?} (Yumi)

"I knew I should've been recording all this." Mika clicked her tongue, angry that she'd lost out on the chance to put another cat video on the internet.

"That's adorable." Naomi said while laughing. "Let me see her."

"She likes to squeak!" Miji giggled while handling the Catkagi to Naomi.

{I BET SHE DOES!} (Yumi)

"Are you going to squeak for me?" Naomi asked the Catkagi in her arms, who only tilted her head and mewd in return. "I suppose we'll just have to find out." She said before squishing the kitty.

*SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK* *SQUEAK*

"This is too funny." Naomi finished her squeakfest and passed the Catkagi to Kana so she could experience the squeaky cat. "Give it a try."

"Why do I have to..." Kana sighed as the Catkagi in her arms nuzzled against her cutely, which was how she asked for cuddles. "Okay fine... But only one squeak, okay?"

"MEW!" Akagi mewd in agreement.

"Alright, then here we go." Kana squeezed the Catkagi in an attempt to make her squeak but rather than make a funny noise the Cat instead screamed in pain.

"Ahhh! It hurts! The pain! My bones! I'm dying!" Akagi yelled in agony as she was squeezed tightly.

"Kitty no!" (Miji x Mika)

"Why did you go and do that?!?" Kana said as she tossed Akagi to the ground, smacking the cat into the dirt.

{STUPID CAT!} (Kana)

"You squeezed me too hard!" Akagi said as she righted herself. "I felt my life being drained away!" She said over dramatically as she gave them a tale about the impending doom that was forced upon her by the death squeeze. "It was clawful! I nearwee dieded!" She said with a smirk.

"You're just something else, aren't you?" Kana shook her head. “I should've known you'd be stupid.”

"Am just a dewecate widdle kitty! How coulds youse hurts mees?!?" Akagi said while fake crying from the 'traumatic experience.' "Alls eyes wanteded was to be cuddled! And yous hurts mees!"

{I hate that I mimic'd that kitty speak now...} (Kana)

"Are you hurt, Kitty?" Miji said as she picked the Catkagi up and hugged her in a protective fashion. “Did mean Kana make you cry?”

“Miji!” The Catkagi cried out as she hugged her back.

"This is why I should never play along with her..." Kana pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Nothing good ever comes of getting down to her IQ level."

"Doesn't she have a higher one than you at this point?" Mika retorted but was ignored.

"That wasn't very nice of you." Yumi said as she wagged her finger at the cat. "You should apologize for your actions."

"Kitty doesn't need to be sorry!" Miji interjected as she held the Catkagi away from her. "Kitty was hurt! Kana is the bad person!"

"Miji, the kitty did a bad thing and should say she's sorry." Yumi sighed as she and her sister got into a back-and-forth over whether or not Akagi was in the wrong, all while said Catkagi snickered, smirked, and giggled in the young girl's arms about the whole situation.

"You know, Akagi really is your sister, Kana." Naomi said.

"Yeah." Mika nodded. “They're basically twins.”

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!?" Kana yelped.

{And why are we now picking on me?!?} (Kana)