Chapter 51

Nari left the guildmaster’s office and walked for a long time through the dark, dim cave. She tripped several times over tree roots, brushed herself off and stood back up, and in the middle of it all found it strange that she had not gotten a single scratch.

The farther she went, the louder the sound of rushing water became. Cool air met her, and at the same time she came face to face with it.

“Goodness!”

Nari was standing at the edge of a sheer cliff. A fierce river ran below, and a sign right in front of her warned her to be careful of the current.

↓ Tears Nari has shed up to now

(Caution, the current is very strong!)

Across the river there was a large cave.

“You want me to go over there? Give me a break!”

But how? The question took over Nari’s head. She wondered if there was some way, but nothing suitable came to mind, so she took out her frustration on her unconscious mind for no reason.

“Hey! You want me to punch through that current, swim, and then climb that cliff? If I were going to do that, I would have become a paladin, not an illusionist! Hurry up and give me another option!”

Another mark appeared immediately above the sign.

→ Easy way across

(But do you really want to go this way?)

Nari looked to the right. At some point a rickety rope bridge had appeared.

Since her unconscious mind was trying to dissuade her, it nagged at her a little, but she had no confidence she could climb down the cliff, fight that torrent, swim through, and climb up the other side. Nari did not hesitate and turned her body to the right.

“Come on. Don't be ridiculous. I am really going that way!”

She stepped onto the rope bridge, fuming. It wobbled with a bounce, and she instinctively clutched the side rope tight.

For something advertised as the easy way, the bridge was flimsier than she expected.

With every step there was a creaking sound, and there were many places where the planks were missing, so if she misplaced her foot she would fall straight down. Nari took a deep breath.

“...I can do this!”

Clutching the rope tightly, she inched forward step by careful step, and when she had somehow reached the middle of the bridge, she heard a familiar voice.

“Are you really going that way, noona?”

A hazy face formed in front of Nari. Then a body appeared beneath the face, and Nari let out a deep sigh when she saw who it was.

“...I figured as much, since the cat.”

Min Jaeyoon, wearing a headband with cat ears, tapped himself on the head with a playful “bonk” like he was giving himself a flick.

“Hehe, I am cute, right?”

“Your character concept is really something. Truly.”

As Nari sighed in disbelief, Min Jaeyoon sat on the rope. The bridge swayed with a wobble and Nari, gripping the rope, shouted.

“Hey! What do you think you are doing? I almost fell!”

“Would that be bad?”

Nari gave him a triangular-eyed glare, as if to say “of course.” Min Jaeyoon chuckled and smiled at her, spinning playfully.

“But it will be nothing too dangerous.”

“What are you talking about? If I jump in there, I will drown! I don't want to die in my unconscious mind, okay?!”

“You will be fine because you are strong!”

Nari stared at Min Jaeyoon, at a loss for words. He gave a soft laugh and clapped his hands.

“It is okay, noona. They are your tears. They will never harm you.”

“...Can I not just take the easy way? I don't want to fall into something like my own tears. If there is an easy route, I want to take it.”

“Hmm~”

Min Jaeyoon scratched his cheek as if thinking for a moment. He folded his arms and chose his words, then spoke again.

“You can do that, but I would like you to look at yourself once more.”

“Even if I look, there is nothing there. If I dig into it, it will only get more pathetic and sad.”

“Do you know what my role is?”

At the sudden question, Nari arched an eyebrow.

She remembered that a moment ago Kang Sujin had said she played the role of an “adult.” If so, then what about Min Jaeyoon?

As if he had read the question in Nari’s mind, Min Jaeyoon clapped his hands again and said,

“I am your ‘days when you overcame the past.’!”

“The past and what?”

“I am the big and small results that you brought forth by overcoming a painful past with small kindnesses and a sense of duty. I am ranked third, right? I became something amazing.”

After saying that, Min Jaeyoon gave a mischievous grin.

“So I promise you, you can create something big too.”

“Wait, no, hold on. That doesn’t mean I can just jump right now…!”

Min Jaeyoon smirked. Nari instinctively squeezed the rope. Her body knew what he was about to do.

“It is all right. The hard part is just the moment before you jump...”

Min Jaeyoon said that, grabbed the rope, sprang lightly upward, and then said,

“Once you jump, everything after that is easy!!”

“Aaaaaaaaah!”

Thud. He landed back on the rope bridge. The bridge swayed wildly, Nari lost her grip on the rope, and she fell.

Below, the roar of the torrent filled her ears. The last thing she saw was Min Jaeyoon’s smiling face spinning like a pinwheel. Nari bellowed like a lion.

“Min Jaeyoon! When we get back I swear I will not let you off!”

Min Jaeyoon, who had been waving, slowly dissolved like a mirage.

Just as Nari was screaming that she would kill him, and she thought only his smile would remain in her eyes,

Splash. Nari plunged into her own tears.

* * *

“Huff…!”

At the river’s edge, Nari crawled up, dripping wet and looking like a ghost, and coughed for a long time.

“Damn it. Tears my ass! It’s just like lake water!”

She coughed up water for quite a while, cursed up a storm in her head, and then flopped down on the riverbank.

Somehow, the blue sky was facing Nari again.

“They say once you accept it, it is easy… If this were reality, I would be dead.”

Feeling a breeze that was neither cold nor hot but just right, Nari sat up. Her clothes were drying quickly.

“...I don't know. I still really don't know.”

Muttering to herself, Nari grabbed her knees and stood. If she wanted to remove the growth limit, she had to come here. If she jumped, everything after would be fine. Everything was full of words she could not make sense of.

Perhaps it was only natural. Even though she was an illusionist, she had hardly ever spoken with herself. Still, one thing was clear.

No matter what, she had to keep moving forward. In the deep world it was impossible to gauge how much time was passing.

The last time she had had a light conversation with the Lord of Chaos, a day had gone by. She did not know what the situation outside was like, but she needed to escape this strange land as quickly as possible.

Behind the river she found a forest path, with grass pressed flat in a way that suggested people had walked it often. Nari began to walk along it slowly.

“...Wow.”

Along the edge of the path, colorful mushrooms and pretty flowers were in bloom, and Nari blinked when she saw a cute brick house with smoke puffing up from its chimney.

On the exterior walls, childlike crayon drawings were scrawled in crooked lines, and in the yard all kinds of weeds were growing.

Walking cautiously across the yard, Nari stopped before a blue door with a hesitant look on her face.

“I suppose it is okay to go in, right?”

Nari glanced around and hesitated a little. There really was nothing else around, so she sighed, gripped the doorknob, and pulled it open.

“Excuse me?”

“...Oh.”

She found herself face to face with Jeong Suho, who was watering a cradle with a watering can. Nari’s expression twisted into a look of disbelief in an instant.

“...What are you supposed to be?”

“I-I am… the Azure Duke…”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

The Jeong Suho before her gave an awkward smile. Nari let out a deep sigh and glanced around the house. Despite the title of “Duke,” the house was just a small two-room place.

Except for the area by the window where sunlight streamed in and the cradle sat, piles and piles of junk left only enough space for a person to squeeze through.

“Right, right. Good boy. One moment.”

When the cradle gave a fretful cry, Jeong Suho reached out and made it as if to pat it gently.

When the baby quieted, he put on a navy frock coat that hung on the stand, tied a cravat, and then lifted the swaddled baby into his arms with practiced ease.

“Um, I-I need to go outside. Could you please step aside?”

“What? Where to?”

Even as she spoke, Nari was already opening the cabin door and stepping out. Holding the bundle, Jeong Suho donned a hat, put on his shoes, and stepped outside after her.

“I have to go to a trial…”

“A trial?!”

They walked slowly toward a back path behind the cabin, and Nari hurried to catch up. The surroundings changed abruptly into a bamboo grove and a stone-paved path.

“Yes. I did not take proper care of this little one. The Q-Queen asked me to.”

He soothed the crying baby a few times, looking embarrassed, and Nari glanced sideways at him.

“Are you the Jeong Suho that was in my unconscious mind?”

“Ah, yes. I… I am not the actual Jeong Suho.”

Jeong Suho had said he had harmed Nari because he was “different from ordinary people.” Nari wondered if she could get a hint about Jeong Suho’s “difference” and carefully asked,

“Then do you know what condition Jeong Suho is in?”

“Well… I don't think I know that much. I am the Jeong Suho you knew from the past after all.”

Nari sighed deeply, thinking, “So it is like that.” Cradling the baby, Jeong Suho looked toward the front of the bamboo grove and spoke.

“B-But is that important?”

“Is it not? Jeong Suho ended up like that because it was my fault.”

Jeong Suho propped his chin and pondered something. He saw Nari lower her eyes and gave a small smile.

“Even so… you don't like other people finding out that you are… Lude.”

“That is true. Kang Ihyun was a very lucky exception.”

“So then, perhaps it is better to wait for the real Jeong Suho to…. tell you himself. The fact that you said those things to him and the fact that you did not know his condition are separate issues.”

“...Is that so.”

Jeong Suho nodded. Thinking it over, it was indeed so. The harsh words she had thrown at Jeong Suho and his condition were separate matters. Even if he had not been different from others, it was still something she should apologize for.

Just as Nari did not want to reveal that she was Lude’s main self, it was right to let it slide unless Jeong Suho chose to say it himself, even if the other party had figured it out.

“H-He is working hard to fix himself… I don’t think you have to force yourself to find out...”

“I understand what you mean.”

Nari let out a long breath. She heard his small laugh as he watched her.

“Well, it is about time for me to go. Here.”

“...Hmm?”

Jeong Suho handed the baby to Nari. As she lowered her eyes to check the baby’s face within the swaddling cloth, Jeong Suho turned around.

“I have to go to my trial. So, Nari, p-please watch this child for a while.”

At those words, Nari looked up from the bundle. Jeong Suho smiled at her. Sunlight filtered through the bamboo, shining in backlight. He adjusted his hat and slipped away between the stalks.

Left alone on the stone path, Nari loosened the cloth around the crying baby and drew in a breath.

There was no baby at all. Inside the bundle was only a sky-blue envelope. Nari tucked the letter into the pocket of her apron.