CHAPTER 54: THE ABYSS OF SUFFERING BEHIND THE PERFECT GIRL’S MASK (1)

«Th-Thanks for agreeing to talk to me despite what happened between us, and I appreciate even more that you decided to do it somewhere quiet, but...» Shin murmurs, sipping some hot chocolate and glancing around in confusion before managing a faint smile. «...out of all the places in Ueda, you really had to bring me to a maid café?»

Aoshi and Shin are sitting across from each other in one of those completely soundproof private karaoke rooms inside the downtown maid café Takuma loves so much.

«W-Well, um... it was the best place I could think of in the moment...» Aoshi replies, forcing an awkward smile before turning serious again. «Now we’re alone — tell me everything.»

«Y-Yeah, so... first of all, I want to apologize for what happened that night. I know you lost your job because of me and, as if that wasn’t enough, I also threw a bunch of awful insults your way, even though you were just acting to protect my sister. Actually, the punch you gave me was nothing compared to what I really deserved — it was shameful of me to take a nude photo of my own sister just to impress my friends, something a brother should never, ever even think of doing. I-If I... if I hadn’t done that...»

Shin breaks into violent sobs, his already red eyes swelling further with tears. «...maybe Miori would still be alive...»

«N-Don’t tell me... Miori killed herself out of shame because of what you did?!» Aoshi bursts out, slamming his fists on the table.

«N-No, that’s not it...» Shin mumbles, shaking his head as he wipes his tears. «You know, in my group of friends, there are some older guys from Ueda University, and whenever they talked about my sister, they used that tone — that look — like they were talking about a celebrity. I guess Miori must’ve given you the same impression: perfect in every way, beautiful, smart, strong, confident... but also a bit bitchy, cold, someone who never let people get too close and who had this darker side she tried so hard to hide in public... even if it slipped out sometimes...»

Aoshi nods silently, agreeing with every word.

«But Miori wasn’t bad, I swear on my life. She was the sweetest, most caring sister I could ever ask for. She was always super protective of me. When I was younger, especially — after fighting with my mom — I’d lock myself in Miori’s room and cry until I fell asleep exhausted in her arms. She would hold me tight — all the way until dawn...»

Tears stream down Shin’s face as he relives those memories. «...then, when I got older, she even started taking the blame for me over the stupidest things — like when I left something out of place, forgot to wash my dish, or left the bathroom wet... just so Mom wouldn’t get mad at me...»

«It’s really hard to believe everything you’re telling me — it doesn’t even feel like we’re talking about the same person,» Aoshi mutters, deep in thought, trying to process Shin’s words. «I’m not saying I doubt you, but... it’s hard for me to believe Miori was really like that.»

«W-Why do you find it so hard to believe...?» Shin asks in a faint voice.

Aoshi takes a deep breath, choosing his words carefully so as not to hurt the already devastated boy in front of him any more than the news of his sister’s death already has.

«I don’t know who told you Miori and I were great friends, but... that was a big lie. Actually, I don’t think there was anyone in the world I considered less of a friend than her. You see, Miori and I were... d-dating, if you can even call it that. It only lasted a month, but during that short time I loved her with everything I had — and she crushed those feelings like they meant nothing, just for the fun of it, to watch me suffer, to break me right when I was happiest with her. And that wasn’t enough — she tried again a second time, and I was one step away from falling for it again. Maybe because I was naive... or maybe because she was a master manipulator who twisted reality. Probably both. And I’m sure she did the same to Renji — her ex — and who knows how many others before us. I’m not saying she wasn’t an amazing sister — and seeing her die like that is obviously something that moves anyone. But I hope you understand when I say I can’t feel any more sympathy than the usual regret you feel when you hear a young girl took her own life.» Aoshi finishes, his tone empathetic yet serious.

«Y-Yeah, I get you. I guess that was her way of letting out all the anger she kept inside, and I don’t blame you — I’d feel the same if I were in your shoes...»

«A-Anger? What anger?» Aoshi repeats, puzzled. «She was gorgeous, smart — top of the entire university — rich, admired by everyone... why would someone like her have so much pent-up anger...?»

Shin suddenly falls silent and lowers his gaze.

«Mom would go berserk if she knew I was talking about this... but considering what my sister did to you and the way you see her, maybe telling you could help even a little with the resentment and remorse you feel toward her... but promise me what I’m about to say stays between us, okay?» Shin begs, full of worry.

Aoshi nods silently.

«P-Perfect... so, you should know my sister was far from the flawless girl everyone thought she was. From the little she told me... and from what I overheard in my parents’ conversations... Miori was just three when the pediatrician treating her noticed strange behaviors — a worrying delay in learning to walk and later to talk, a coldness toward everything around her that was unnatural for a child her age... but the most concerning thing were the sudden, uncontrollable bursts of rage — real, violent hysterical fits hitting her without any clear cause. According to the pediatrician, there could only be one explanation for it... but my parents flat-out refused to accept it — for them, it was unthinkable that the firstborn of the prestigious Yukinaga family could have such a problem.»

Shin pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath and slowly sipping more hot chocolate, as if trying to buy himself time to reorganize his memories.

«My parents kept consulting countless pediatricians until they finally found one — probably incompetent, or maybe just someone willing to agree with them in bad faith just to take their money — who told them it was nothing more than a phase of pent-up anger some children go through, and that it could be easily solved by letting her release it through sports. And of course, my parents took those words as undeniable truth. They immediately enrolled Miori in a martial arts class but, as expected, nothing changed — in fact, as time went on, her anger only worsened, along with every other symptom she had. She showed no affection or interest toward anyone, and the only emotion she ever expressed was anger, which she unleashed against anything within reach during one of her outbursts — and not even the pile of medications that doctor prescribed could completely stop them. From what I’ve been told, though, something in her changed the moment I was born.»

Shin pauses again for a moment, while Aoshi watches him silently.

«For some reason, right from the start, she showed an almost obsessive attachment to me. And what gave my parents hope again was seeing how she smiled at me, how she played with me, how she hugged me and held me in her arms — things she had never done before, not even with all the dolls she’d been given. And in that moment, in their eyes, I probably became the cure for the shame that, according to them, Miori had brought upon the Yukinaga family... but unfortunately, that turned out to be nothing more than a fragile illusion...»

Shin sobs, his gaze fixed on the surface of the hot chocolate rippling from the trembling of his hands.

«Miori’s cold and hostile behavior toward the rest of the world didn’t change one bit — if anything, it only kept getting worse. Yet in this whole situation, there was at least one upside: her beauty and intelligence, both far beyond the norm. Thanks to those qualities, her natural impassiveness and detachment from the world could be passed off as the typical attitude of a self-important snob — the kind of girl who considered herself so far above everyone else that she didn’t even see the point in greeting them. But the truth was something entirely different... a truth my parents initially refused to accept. And once the evidence became impossible to ignore, they did everything they could to conceal it — pouring all their frustration onto her instead. The frustration of their expectations crumbling apart, and the shame that Miori’s birth had brought upon the Yukinaga family: their firstborn daughter was autistic.»