And then, when I found out I was pregnant, I had dreamed of leaving with Lilith and my child and starting fresh. Maybe having a little cottage with a garden and getting to see as many sunsets as possible before the end came.

    Most of all, just living life honestly, being dating, and doing the things that I’d never had the courage to do before.

    “Yes,” I whispered. “I did have a bucket list.”

    “Well, just because you’re no longer actively dying doesn’t mean you should push those dreams away.”

    He was right, of course. I had forgotten about most of those nsb, /bcaught up as I was in the strange domesticity of preparing for the baby and supporting Alexander’s campaign.

    “You should still enjoy your life,” Liam continued. “Do what you’ve always wanted to do. Don’t just exist in the space Alexander makes for you.”

    “It’s not like that. I’m not just… existing.”

    Liam didn’t look convinced. “When was thest time you did something just for yourself? Something that had nothing to do with Alexander or the baby or the campaign?”

    I opened my mouth to argue, but no examples came to mind. Every decision I’d made in the past few months had been filtered through the lens of what would be best for the pregnancy or what would help

    Alexander win the election.

    “That doesn’t mean I’m not happy,” I said weakly.

    “I’m not saying you’re not happy. I’m saying you deserve to be happy on your own terms, not just as an extension of someone else’s life.” Liam tilted his head. “Do you love Alexander?”

    Lovei. /i

    The word made a fire ignite in my chest. It was warm andforting for a moment, but then it burned so hot that it singed me from the inside out.

    “No,” I blurted out.

    Liam, of course, never missed a beat. “Your face is telling a very different story than your words, E.”

    “It’s not love. It’s just… chemistry. Biology. The mate bond makes everything feel more intense than it really is.”

    “Mhm.”

    The truth was, I wasn’t sure anymore where the mate bond ended and my actual feelings began. Onceb, /bI

    b1/3 /b

    415 BONUS

    had certainly wanted to love Alexander, but he made it so fucking difficult. And then there was the fister surrounding my wolf’s dormancy…

    Over that time, I supposed I had fallen out of love with him

    Buttely, ever since I found out I was pregnant with his child and he marked me, it was hard to feel the same way. I couldn’t seem to decide if I truly felt love for him or if it was just abination of pregnancy hormones and the mate bond making me foolish.

    And yet, I couldn’t help but think about Alexander’s face as he built our baby’s crib. About the way he rolled up his sleeves and focused wholly on preparing for our pup. About the feeling of his hand bresting /bon the small of my back at every single campaign event.

    About how it was all a beautiful lie built to help him win the election.

    “I can’t love him,” I finally said. “It would be too dangerous.”

    “Dangerous things typically belong on a bucket list,” Liam replied. “bYou /bwon’t know until you talk to him.” Talking to Alexander. Strangely, the thought of that still felt so fucking daunting despite everything. We had spent five years pointedly not talking to each other, so it felt like an impossible task now.

    Suddenly, a wave of nausea hit me that was more violent than anything I’d experienced before. Bile rose in my throat, hot and acidic, and I found myself stumbling away from the table and toward the bathroom before Liam even had a chance to call after me.