CHAPTER 34: I CAN’T BE SCARED OF HIM

"The little boy in that picture, it’s your brother isn’t it?" I whispered, his eyes were on mine, he stared at me for a second, chained to the wall and he didn’t say a word to me.

He killed someone, someone that he cared about because he could not control his wolf, he killed his brother, that’s why he was mad when he saw me with the picture, that’s why he didn’t want to be at that house because it reminded him of all of the thing they went through, that’s why he felt the way he did.

I stared at him with a frown on my face, my eyes filled with tears.

"Luca." I breathed out, inching even closer. "I know you are in there, I know you would not hurt me," I spoke, his wolf growled for a moment, he is trying to fight back, trying to turn into his form.

I didn’t come any closer anymore; I stared at him with another smile.

"How do you live with it?" I breathed out. "I can’t even imagine the thought of it," I whispered, It must be horrible.

Having known that you killed your brother, you took away someone so important from his life, if someone killed him, it would have been different, but he didn’t, he did, this to him.

I didn’t cry because I felt sad, I cried for Luca, I cried because of the things he could have felt, and his wolf didn’t growl, it stared at me with emotions.

"You are not a monster, you were forced to be one, born with a curse that you can’t handle, born with a curse you didn’t bargain for." I breathed out, it’s not his fault.

He didn’t have to go through this alone, he needs all the help he can get.

"You know when I was younger, I always heard about you, the great Alpha, your family, your bloodline, it was all across the place I would always think, why do you have all r the things you have, I always thought you had the perfect life, you have control, you have love, you have your pack, but now it seems different, your parents didn’t tell anyone that you had a brother, but why, he was alive for a long time before any horrible thing happened". I whispered again.

His wolf stared at me, scratching himself against the wall, Luca is going to be hurt when he comes back to normal, what he was doing, he is trying to harm himself like he told me.

I stared at him again remembering all of the things I used to know about him,

"When I moved here and I learnt Conrad was working with you, I was scared, I told Conrad that I didn’t want that, that I thought one day you will snap and kill him, or one day he will make a mistake and you will want to punish us and Conrad didn’t defend you, he didn’t know that you are nor a monster and each day he will come home and talk about how be didn’t want to be a Beta, how he wanted to be powerful, he would always say, if I didn’t have strength, I would have money, I would have power and I would have amenities, people would want to be with me, they will respect me, even if they don’t want to," I spoke.

I would always laugh when he said that to me, I watched as Luca didn’t stop scratching himself and this time I could see blood on the wall, I couldn’t move closer to him, even if I wanted to, my eyes filled with more tears as I saw what was happening.

I didn’t know how to help him, how can you help someone from not hurting himself in this state, all I wanted to do was help him and it seems like I can’t, I wanted to do desperately.

"Luca no," I yelled when I saw him banging his head against the wall. "I know you are in there Luca and I need you to fight, I need you to stop doing that, please Luca," I yelled and he turned to look at me, his eyes met mine and more tears streamed down my cheek.

I stared at him unable to find the words that wanted to escape my lips when he stayed put, that’s all I ever wanted, for him not to shirt himself, watching him like that, I realized you can’t fully know anyone form what the world says about them, you would have to let them invite you in and that’s what Luca did, he wanted me to know.

Only I know about this.

I sat on the floor again, my eyes were on his and I gave him a smile, I didn’t know what to say to him even though I had the words on my lips, I had no idea what to say, I had no idea the words to utter to him anymore.

"I think I care about you more than I want to and that scares me, maybe I like you even more than I want to and it scares me even more and I think that when I see you, you don’t make me feel like Conrad did and it scares me even more, you make me feel differently, you make me feel otherwise, when my wolf is near you; she feels like she can do anything, sometimes she is scared and intimidated but she gets comfortable with you, she wants to always be close to you and it scares me because Conrad was my mate and he didn’t make me feel like that. He didn’t care that I didn’t find my wolf strong and you do." I smiled.

I inched toward the cage and I smiled at him when I saw him coming closer In a second he bit me, a curse escaped my lips when I moved away, by the time I stared at him, the pain had stopped and I moved closer to him.

He didn’t mean to bite me, I know Luca would not hurt me and it didn’t hurt anymore, it’s teeth only made contact with my neck for a little while.

I stared at him for a single second, this time making my movements a bit away, when he came back to normal, he would not be happy with the fact that he was in pain.

"Luca." I breathed out when his eye met mine, he was changing into his human form, it felt like he was fighting his wolf to remain like that.

"You have to leave, you can’t see me like that," Luca spoke and I didn’t like the words that escaped his lips, he can’t keep running away from the way he feels, he can’t keep pushing people away because of how he has felt before in the past.

"I will stay, when you turn back again, your wolf would see me, when you get back to normal, I would still be here Luca, don’t think I would be leaving you."

"Leave". He yelled again when his leg snapped, my eyes filled with tears as I stared at him, the sound of his leg snapping filled my ears and I felt a wave of emotions washing over me, I had never felt like this before, I had never felt this much pain for someone.

"Luca you need to stop fighting him, just let him in, I will be here to make sure he does not hurt you," I spoke and he didn’t listen, he wanted to stop him from taking over him fully again.

I wish it worked in another way, I wish he were a different type of wolf and he was cured, no one deserves to go through the things that he had, he should not be in their much pain, I didn’t want him to.

I moved closer to him, and I placed my hand against his face.

"Luca let him in."

"What if he hurts you again to an extent that you would want to leave, you would not want to stay, leave I will be fine, you can see me in the morning, I have dealt with this before, I have done this over and over again."

"Always alone but not this time."

"Don’t make me say it again." He yelled and his spine cracked know a painful sound. "Please."

"If I leave because of this, it means only one thing" I breathed out, I was about to speak when I heard footsteps heading toward us, my breath hitches as I heard it even more clearly.

It’s not in my head, there is someone coming and it’s someone that can’t be trusted

"Luca." I heard her voice and I froze, she can’t be here, she should not be here, her footsteps were getting close and I realized one thing, no one can see Luca like this