CHAPTER 50: I DON’T NEED HIM ANYMORE

I raced out of the room and Luca followed me from behind, I felt like the ground was starting to close up on me.

"Luca," I whispered against my breath, my heart tightened against my chest and I stared at him, every memory came rushing back to me, the way they stared at each other after he said white fur, the way they didn’t want to fight anymore, they bowed down.

I glanced at Luca again when I rushed out of the room and I rushed to our bedroom, my feet felt wobbly against the floor and I could feel my heart racing against my rib cage, I had never felt like this before, not even when he thought I was betraying him.

It felt like I could not breathe, my throat was starting to close up, and my eyes glimmered with more tears.

I could barely see the room perfectly because of the tears that covered my eyes and I felt myself losing my balance when a hand wrapped around me, stopping me from falling.

"Breathe." The voice said, I closed my eyes for a second, the tears fell against my cheek when I started to breathe softly, I continued to breathe until my sight was clear and I had an idea of what was going on.

When I realized that he was the one holding me and I pushed him away.

"Don’t even." I breathed out, when I moved away and his eyes met mine. "Luca you." I was about to say when I choked back on a sob. "The speech, the way you stared at me, you told them you love me, you slept with me, you fucking marked me and you behaved like you didn’t know that you were doing it," I yelled.

"Listen to me- no," I yelled cutting him off, my eyes met his for a second when I looked away from him, I felt a wave of anger wash over me.

My head felt heavy, the throbbing didn’t stop, it felt like I didn’t have control over myself, I didn’t have control over what I felt, and my chest, was blazing with anger and frustration.

"Tell me he is lying, tell me that he is not saying the truth, this is just a fabricated lie, because he wants me to be hurt, because he hated that I am happy without him, because what he wanted didn’t happen, because my ex husband is a sadistic man who wanted nothing but to ruin me and to help a cousin that wants to use and dump him when he is done, you say the word and I will believe Luca, you tell me the reason you have that look of regret is because you feel bad for me, it’s because you didn’t come to take me away from him sooner and you feel like you should have because you can think about all the pain he put me through when he was with me," I whispered. "Please say the words Luca." I breathed out.

My eyes filled with tears as I stared at him, waiting for him to say the words.

"Please I am begging you, Luca, please say the word." I breathed out. "Tell me he is wrong."

I moved further toward him, his eyes were on mine when my hand hit his chest softly. "Say the fucking words, Luca," I yelled, and more tears streamed down my cheek.

"I just- I am sorry." He spoke, I pulled away from him despite the fact that he was holding my hand, I didn’t care, I didn’t want him to, how could he look at me and say the word, how could he even pretend all these times.

"So all of this was just a game to you, so you didn’t care about me, so you didn’t even fucking bother how I feel, and like every other person, you used me, I don’t even blame you, it’s my fault." I breathed out.

He wanted to come close to me, he wanted to touch me but I didn’t let him, he is not going to manipulate me amore, I don’t want to hear the word that escaped his lips and I don’t believe it. Of all people, Conrad is saying the truth.

"How long, how long were you going to keep this up, how long were you going to keep using me, until you are done, until you are sure it’s completely gone, how fucking long Luca?" I yelled.

I never felt like this, even when my husband left me, I guess I saw it coming, I knew he would leave me eventually, he just took me by surprise by doing what he did yet I didn’t expect much from him because I had stopped loving and trusting him a long time ago.

No matter what happened, I knew that he was always going to betray me in the end.

"I never lied about loving you," Luca said and a chuckle escaped my lips

"Come on Luca I have been a fool for so long but not anymore, don’t you think I am a fool, don’t you think that i deserve even a bit of honesty after everything, come on, I can go down there and he will tell me everything at least he didn’t lie, he has always been homesy with me I just didn’t see it, but you, wow you are the greatest alpha indeed because you can make just about anyone believe that you are good person."

"I didn’t lie to you when I slept with you when I said I will care you when I told my men that if anything happens to you they will be dead, I didn’t lie to you when I said that you mean all to me when I said that you are everything to me and when I said that I love you, I never lied."

"You manipulated the truth, and you knew I would believe these words of yours, I guess I should have even better. Better than being this stupid, I can’t even look at you again Luca."

"Would you let me explain?"

"Were you ever going to tell me the truth, was there any part of you that would tell me the fucking truth?" I asked, my head was starting to throb with pain, I stared at him unable to find the words that escaped my lips.

His eyes were on mine.

"I was going to- when Luca, when I become the fucking mother of your child, or when I finally find out from someone else; you make this huge deal about me and in reality you didn’t even care, you didn’t even give more shit about me, you say you are not like him but you are worse than him."

"Don’t say words you don’t mean, don’t say words we will never be able to recover from."

"I think you and I Luca, we would never be able to recover from this, atleast Conrad never showed me he loved me before he sold me, for months he stayed away from me, made me think that he is good but I saw through all of it, and I realized the truth, for months I didn’t even know what was going on, for years he was starting to move away from me, when he sold me, the sting of betrayal was not much because I fucking knew he would ruin me," I yelled.

My eyes met his, I stared at him with anger written all over my eyes, how did he even think this was going to work, what did he even think was going to happen?

"Luca, don’t even come close to me." I breathed out, "don’t even think about it, when all of this is over, I am leaving, I don’t care about this fucking mark, I don’t care about what you think, I don’t care if you are hurt, I don’t care if your wolf would ever be able to live with you, I don’t care if you hate me, I don’t care if you would not be able to look yourself in the mirror." I yelled.

"You don’t mean it, you don’t fucking mean it, you want to leave me, you can’t leave, you are mine," Luca yelled

"You are wrong Luca, I belong to myself, I don’t belong to you or to Conrad or your fucking pack, I don’t belong to your members of the pack, I don’t belong to a fucking Beta or a fucking Alpha, it doesn’t matter because I belong to myself, I am done with all of this, I am done with you," I yelled

He moved close to me when he wrapped his hand around me and I could feel his burning gaze on mine, his breath writhing with anger.

"What is it Luca, are you worried that you would lose everything because of me, are you worried that they will all see you for the monster that you are?" I asked, and I have never felt like this before.

"Make no mistake, if you think of leaving me, I will show you the monster I am." Luca threatened.

I was about to speak when a scream pierced through my ear and I pulled away from him.