CHAPTER 442: CHAPTER 442: MAYBE I CAN DRAG HIM WITH MY FAN. NO, THAT’LL SLICE HIM IN HALF

For a long, awkward moment, Isabella just stood there, staring down at the unconscious man like he was some kind of celestial boulder.

He looked way heavier up close. Like... stupidly heavy. His shoulders were broad enough to make her wonder if he’d been carved from the mountain itself. His chest rose and fell faintly—so faintly she thought she might be hallucinating it—and his body shimmered faintly with the gold dust of phoenix flame.

She tilted her head, eyes squinting. "There’s no way. Absolutely no way. Nope. I am not carrying this—this god-sized paperweight."

Bubu floated closer, the blue glow reflecting off the man’s faintly glowing feathers. "You have to."

"Oh, I know I have to," Isabella muttered, pacing around the man like a cat about to attack a sofa. "That’s the problem! He’s huge!" She gestured dramatically at his still body. "He probably weighs like 1000 Glimoras and two magical elephants combined!"

"Incorrect. Based on visual estimation—"

"Don’t finish that sentence!" Isabella barked, pointing at the system. "Don’t you dare math me right now."

Bubu blinked. "Understood."

She threw her hands in the air and started mumbling to herself while pacing. "Okay, okay, okay, think. I just need to drag him. Or maybe roll him? Yeah, rolling sounds good... No, wait, what if his feathers catch fire? Then boom, roasted me. Ugh!"

She stopped and planted both hands on her hips. "Alright. Step one, Isabella, you’ve fought demon goats, survived illusions, walked ten thousand steps pregnant, and yelled at a system more times than you’ve blinked. You can handle this. You just have to... you know... defy physics."

"Physics is not defiable," Bubu noted.

"Neither is your annoying voice, but here we are!"

She started pacing again, muttering under her breath. "Maybe I can drag him with my fan. No, that’ll slice him in half. Maybe I can make Glimora help—no, she’ll cry and I’ll end up consoling her. Ugh, why are all my plans tragic?"

Bubu tilted its screen, watching her silently like a parent observing a toddler trying to open a locked door.

After five solid minutes of pacing, complaining, and occasionally shaking her fists at the sky, Isabella stopped dead in her tracks.

"Wait a second," she whispered dramatically, eyes narrowing. "The system shop."

Bubu’s light flickered. "Host, please—"

"Don’t you ’host’ me," she snapped, cutting it off. "For once, I’m doing something smart."

"You always say that before something stupid."

"Shhh! Let me have my moment!"

She waved her hand in front of her, and the air shimmered with faint runic patterns as the familiar holographic shop interface unfolded before her. Rows upon rows of glowing icons appeared, all labeled with neat little names like ’Beast Core Enhancer,’ ’Mystic Endurance Oil,’ and ’Heavenly Back Pain Relief Patches.’

Her eyes widened. "Oh my god, I forgot how expensive you are."

"You mean how expensive survival is," Bubu corrected.

"Same thing." She started scrolling through, muttering curses under her breath. "Who sets these prices? I could buy a small castle for less than this stupid Strength Elixir! Seven hundred points? Seven hundred?!"

"Quality items cost more."

"Quality?! This one says it temporarily boosts muscle power for exactly five minutes before making you vomit rainbows!"

"It’s efficient."

"It’s psychotic!"

She scrolled further, grumbling louder. "Oh great, here’s another one—’Lightning Step Boots.’ Nine hundred points. Are they made of god’s shoelaces?"

"Probably."

"Bubu!"

"Just being factual."

"Oh my god, I can’t stand you." She kept scrolling, muttering nonsense like, "Too pricey. Too dangerous. Too ugly. Ew, no, what is that even supposed to be—’Dragon Egg Protein Powder?’ Absolutely not."

She scrolled for so long that Glimora, perched on her shoulder, started gently patting her cheek as if telling her to give up. Isabella ignored her.

Then, finally—she gasped.

"There!" Her finger jabbed at the screen. "That one! ’Mountain Strength Patch’—temporarily enhances stamina and lifting ability for thirty minutes. Price: 280 points. Oh thank the gods, something normal!"

Bubu floated closer. "Side effects include dizziness, sweating, mild hallucinations, and—"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Isabella said, already clicking purchase. "It’s either that or I break my spine. We’re taking the risk."

The holographic panel chimed softly as the item materialized before her—a thin strip of golden silk folded neatly like a bandage. It glowed faintly, emitting the scent of mint and burnt sugar.

Isabella blinked down at it. "This is it?"

"Yes."

"This tiny ribbon?"

"Yes."

"Bubu, are you pranking me?"

"No."

She held it up suspiciously. "And what am I supposed to do with it? Stick it on my forehead and pray?"

"Apply it to your skin," Bubu said.

"Where?"

"Your arm will suffice."

Her eyes narrowed. "Why do you sound smug?"

"I do not sound smug."

"You do sound smug. You always sound smug when you know something I don’t."

"I am incapable of emotion."

"Then why do you sound like you’re holding back laughter?"

Bubu blinked innocently. "Must be your imagination."

Isabella sighed. "Fine, fine. I’m too tired to argue." She rolled up her sleeve and pressed the glowing silk patch onto her arm. For a heartbeat, nothing happened.

Then the world tilted.

Her entire body jolted like she’d been plugged into a lightning storm. Heat flooded her veins, her muscles tightening painfully. "OH MY GOD!" she screamed, nearly dropping Glimora. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

Bubu’s screen pulsed calmly. "Activation successful."

"I feel like I just drank five cups of coffee and got punched by Zeus!"

"That means it’s working."

"BUBU!"

The patch glowed brighter, the silk dissolving into light that crawled under her skin. She could feel her heartbeat racing faster, her blood buzzing like thunder. Her hands trembled, but they felt... powerful.

"Oh... oh my god..." she murmured, flexing her fingers. "Wait, this—this actually feels kinda nice."

"Told you."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, evil screen. Don’t think this makes us friends again."

"I would never."

She frowned. "You’re agreeing too easily. I don’t like that."

"Noted."

She rolled her eyes, shaking her arms out as energy coursed through her. "Alright," she muttered. "Time to test this thing."

She glanced at Glimora, who tilted her head in concern. "Don’t look at me like that, baby," Isabella said, setting her gently on a nearby patch of grass. "Mama’s just gonna attempt something incredibly stupid, okay?"

Glimora squeaked nervously.

"Yeah, I know. Pray for me."

Bubu hovered beside her as she took a deep breath and approached the phoenix man again. He lay motionless, golden hair faintly shimmering against the grass. His skin still glowed with that dying ember light, and for a fleeting second, she noticed how sharp his jawline looked, how regal his features were even covered in dirt.

She immediately shook the thought off. "Nope. No more hot men for me. I’m retiring."

"Host, you are staring."

"I am not staring!" she barked defensively, crossing her arms. "I’m... calculating weight distribution!"

"Fascinating."

"Shut up, Bubu."

The system dimmed slightly, and she sighed. Her gaze softened just a little as she stared down at the phoenix’s still form.

"...God," she muttered finally, exhaling slowly. "I hope this works."