The System is Abstract, Luckily, So Am I
Chapter 138 : Sleeping Naked is Not Allowed in the East
"Summer," "sunrise," "cicada song," "orange-flavored soda," "youth," how to make a sentence with these words?
Lin Li would probably answer, "In the summer, Bai Bufan made the youth cry out like a cicada with orange-flavored soda."
Of course, it was also possible for Bai Bufan to be made to cry out like a cicada. There was no standard answer to this question.
As for Chen Yuying, facing this prompt, no matter how she made the sentence, she would probably think of the scene before her eyes.
She clamped the hem of her skirt with her smooth thighs, freed a hand to brush her hair away, and the scene became clear. She saw Lin Li's other free hand raised high, just in time to catch the sun hat that had been blown away.
Perhaps he himself didn't expect to catch it. Lin Li's smile was filled with deep surprise, and then a little bit of showing off. Just by looking at this expression, Chen Yuying felt as if she could hear his voice saying, "How about it, am I handsome?"
So although Lin Li didn't really ask, Chen Yuying still gave him a thumbs-up.
Lin Li, who was singing a duet of "Wild Child" with Wen Shuyang, noticed and smiled even more brightly. He pressed the sun hat on his head, transformed into Michael Jackson, and started to do a moonwalk that didn't look like a moonwalk at all.
The laughter on the lawn thus became even more melodious.
...
Time flowed away hidden in the songs.
"Low battery, please charge."
The music suddenly lowered, and a mechanical prompt sounded from the speaker.
"It's over, it's over," hearing this sound, after another song ended, Lin Li waved the magic wand in his hand slightly and said to everyone.
Although there were definitely still power banks present, they were indeed a little tired of singing.
"Boo—" The deeper the love, the deeper the hate. These humanoid things, who were just his crazed fans, were now starting to boo him. "You can't do it anymore?"
"How can a man say no..." Bai Bufan was about to continue fanning the flames when he suddenly realized that Lin Li hadn't said he couldn't do it, but that he was done.
Bai Bufan blinked.
The person who invented the word 'done' is a genius.
A man can indeed say he's done.
"You guys should be happy. In a few years, when I hold a concert, the seats you're in now will be the front row of the inner field that costs tens of thousands to get. You're blessed but you don't know it. You know, Jay Chou is known as little Lin Li," Lin Li gave them the middle finger and then said with a laugh:
"And you guys aren't tired one by one, but my WeChat steps have increased by two thousand!"
Although Lin Li hadn't moved more than five meters in relative distance, jumping around and pointing was also very tiring. Not to mention, he was the one who sang the most.
Dying of thirst, Lin Li returned to his bag under the tree, sat down with a plop, took out and squeezed the plastic bottle, and began to drink heartily.
The plastic bottle let out a crackling cry and gradually flattened.
"Ah—I'm alive again," half a bottle of water was gone in an instant. Lin Li let out a long sigh of relief.
Feeling the cool water rush into his body, Lin Li leaned back against the tree trunk comfortably.
As for whether it was dirty or not, a thirty-two-yuan-and-ninety-cent shirt with two extra holes didn't need to be considered so much.
The fate of this kind of clothes was either to be used as pajamas or as a rag for mopping the floor at home.
"Aren't you going to wipe your sweat?" Chen Yuying, who was beside him, handed Lin Li a tissue.
Upon hearing this, Lin Li's two hands drooped limply, and he moved his head closer to Chen Yuying, "Class President, you may not know, but my holy sword is like the Golden Cudgel. It looks light, but it actually weighs one and a half kilograms. My hands are completely powerless now..."
Before he could finish his words, his vision was half-blocked by a snow-white palm. A tissue was pressed against his forehead and moved left and right, absorbing the sweat.
A faint coolness, a faint fragrance.
"You're really wiping it?" After a moment's pause, Lin Li spoke.
"Hmm?" Chen Yuying tilted her head slightly, allowing their gazes to meet again.
"The heat has all flown away," Lin Li gave a thumbs-up.
Chen Yuying couldn't help but laugh.
"As for the rest, you can wipe it yourself when your hands have recovered," Chen Yuying only simply wiped his forehead, and then placed the tissue next to Lin Li and said.
In order to prevent Ding Sihan from serving him with a steel wool ball, Lin Li quickly wiped his sweat himself.
"Lin Li, when we go down the mountain later, will you want to walk down the mountain by yourself?" Chen Yuying asked. "If you still think so, then you have to tell the teacher early and start now. After all, we can't let everyone wait for us at the bottom of the mountain."
"Do I want to... I don't know right now," upon hearing this, Lin Li pressed the back of his hand against his nose and said with some embarrassment, "I have a serious procrastination problem. I can't make a decision now."
Chen Yuying: "?"
Procrastination shouldn't be like this, right?
"Just kidding. Let's take the cable car down the mountain," after thinking about it, the system probably wouldn't issue a mission like this. Seeing Chen Yuying's strange expression, Lin Li changed his words.
If a mission was really issued, the worst that could happen was that he would buy a ticket and come back after he got home.
"Okay," Chen Yuying nodded.
The bark of the tree was rugged and not comfortable to lean against. After the conversation ended, Lin Li lay on the ground again and played on his phone with force.
—'With force' refers to physical force. Lin Li didn't want to be hit in the face by his phone.
After the boisterousness, the lawn became quiet again, with only the whispers of some people left.
Chen Yuying looked at her phone, enjoying the tranquility of this moment.
"Eh, Lin Li, look..." When she scrolled to a very interesting video, Chen Yuying turned her head, about to share it with Lin Li, and then immediately stopped her voice.
Lin Li's originally bent legs were now down. One hand was covering his eyes, and the other was on his chest. His phone was casually hanging around his neck.
He was asleep.
Chen Yuying smiled and tried her best to avoid making any noise.
After looking at her phone for a few more seconds, Chen Yuying felt that something was strange. She moved and stared at Lin Li for a few more glances, then picked up a leaf from the ground and placed it on Lin Li's stomach.
Only then did Chen Yuying nod with satisfaction.
The ways of the ancestors cannot be changed. One must cover themselves with something when sleeping.
Chen Yuying looked at her phone for a second, then turned her head again.
Hmm... should I cover him with another one?
...
"Lin Li, Lin Li."
The surrounding sounds became noisy. Hearing someone calling his name, Lin Li opened his eyes.
Opening his eyes, he saw Bai Bufan's super-large humanoid face. He smiled and congratulated, "The surgery was a success. You're a girl now. Go try some mugwort."
"So disgusting," Lin Li murmured softly and closed his eyes again.
Bai Bufan: "..."
You mother.
Lin Li wouldn't find those words disgusting. Obviously, his comment was about his face.
It's hard for the brain to lie when a person has just woken up, especially since Lin Li had murmured it softly. This 'so disgusting' instantly bypassed all of Bai Bufan's defenses and caused real damage.
"You can die here. I'll feed the little bull that was cut off during the surgery to Baowei," Bai Bufan got up and kicked Lin Li's calf.
Lin Li kicked back at the air.
"Lin Li, wake up. It's time to gather and go down the mountain," Chen Yuying's voice came from far away.
Now he had to get up.
Lin Li sat up, rubbed his eyes, and then looked up in some surprise. Is this big tree balding so badly?
He shouldn't have slept for long. How come his stomach was covered in fallen leaves, and there were even small white flowers?
He patted off the fallen leaves and stretched. Chen Yuying and the others should have just come back from the bathroom. Their hands were still a little wet.
The moment their eyes met, Ding Sihan and Chen Yuying burst out laughing first.
"What's wrong?" Lin Li was a little confused.
"Nothing," Ding Sihan shook her head and stepped forward to cover Chen Yuying's mouth, who was about to speak.
There's a dog.
Lin Li sighed, "Class President, lend me your mirror."
Under the '正' characters, there was also a meaningless arrow pointing at Lin Li's mouth.
Others were full of righteousness, while Lin Li was full of '正' characters.
As for the suspect, the girls could probably be ruled out. Lin Li smiled and said to the group of boys, "Who did it?"
"It should be Sun Xiaochuan," Wang Ze said with a laugh.
"Anyway, that guy is going to get hemorrhoids and a perianal abscess tomorrow," Lin Li added with a cold smile.
Bai Bufan frowned upon hearing this and advised, "Lin Li, I think whether it's Sun Xiaochuan or not, he might just be joking. There's no need to curse him so viciously."
Only a criminal would empathize with a criminal.
Lin Li started to chase after him. Bai Bufan started to run, but before he could run a few steps, he was tripped by the lawn.
"Run, why aren't you running?"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Bai Bufan apologized with a fawning smile to Lin Li, who had followed closely behind and was holding him down.
"Sorry? Is an apology useful? Kneel down, raise your head, and let me see your tongue coating!" Lin Li touched the '正' character on his face and showed a vengeful smile.
"Then can I see Bufan's perianal abscess? It's urgent, it has to be you," Wang Ze came over and asked upon hearing this.
"Can you f*cking look at something normal?" Bai Bufan was really scared now. He covered his mouth and butt, curled up, pitiful, weak, and helpless.
...
"Alright, everyone check on each other to see if everyone is here. If everyone is here, we'll take the cable car down the mountain and go back," walking to the door, Xue Jian clapped his hands to attract attention and said loudly.
"Eh, where's Baowei?"
Only when Xue Jian said this did Lin Li and Bai Bufan realize that Zhou Baowei hadn't followed.
The two of them exchanged a look and tacitly turned back to walk.
A wisp of white smoke was rising from the barbecue area. Beside the smoke, Zhou Baowei was looking at the skewers with a pious gaze.
Lin Li and Bai Bufan now completely understood why most self-service restaurants strictly limited the time to two hours.
Zhou Baowei was so selfish. He didn't consider the toilet's feelings at all.
Lin Li didn't even dare to imagine how big of a challenge his toilet would face tonight.
"Let's go! Baowei! Stop f*cking eating!" the two of them shouted.
"Ah? Hmm? Oh!" Only then did Zhou Baowei raise his head and get up to follow. But after walking two steps, he hesitated again. Looking at the skewers that were probably not cooked yet, he hardened his heart, grabbed them all at once, stuffed them into his mouth, and finished them in a flash. Then he shouted to the two of them indistinctly, "Coming."
Lin Li, Bai Bufan: "..."
Mr. Toilet, it's okay. At least you probably won't be clogged.
After all, he was most likely going to have diarrhea.
"Did you guys play a game? Why is 'SB' written on your face?" After Zhou Baowei ran over, he pointed at the two clear letters on Bai Bufan's face and asked curiously.
"It's 'shuai bi' (handsome dude), don't mind it," Bai Bufan waved his hand, indicating that it was not important.
He was not allowed to wipe it off before returning to the base. This was the price of being a jerk.
...
Heading to the cable car entrance.
The system didn't issue any more missions to cause Lin Li any more trouble. It had finally grown up and learned to be a little more considerate.
"Lin Li, look at your phone," Ding Sihan shouted to Lin Li from behind.
Lin Li opened it and found that there was a new photo in the group chat.
The first thing he saw was a group photo of the three of them, but they only occupied the edges of the photo. None of them even had their full upper body showing.
Because in the middle of the picture was him, lying down. The color tone had been changed to black and white. His stomach was covered in leaves, and a white flower was placed on his chest.
Above were four large, black, tragic characters—Forever in Our Hearts.
Lin Li: "..."
"Ding Sihan, I'm really going to post on my Moments for you. The photoshopping beast sleeping in my body is about to awaken," Lin Li turned his head and stared at Ding Sihan.
"Don't be angry, I'll send you a good-looking one," Ding Sihan said immediately.
Lin Li immediately lowered the brightness of his phone upon hearing this, but then he suddenly remembered that the good-looking one Ding Sihan was sending him was probably not the kind he was thinking of.
There was nothing he could do. The 'good-looking ones' his good brothers talked about were never things that could be openly appreciated in public. He had a bit of PTSD and a conditioned reflex, so Lin Li raised the brightness again.
A message popped up in the group chat.
This time, Ding Sihan sent a video.
Lin Li clicked on it.
In the video, Chen Yuying was kneeling beside him, carefully placing leaves on his body one by one, trying to build a leaf tower on his stomach.
She was pursing her lips, very serious, her eyes sparkling.
So it wasn't the big tree balding.
Every time Chen Yuying placed a leaf, she would look at Lin Li warily. After confirming that he was not awake, the corners of her mouth would curve up in a triumphant manner, and then she would continue.
In the middle, for some reason, she actually picked up a stone, but after hesitating, she didn't put it down.
That was close. He was almost crushed to death.
「Lin Li: Quoting [Image], @Ding Sihan, if you're not satisfied with this photo, just say the word. I'm willing to die in any way you want.」
Lin Li forgave Ding Sihan. Let the child photoshop however she wants. What's wrong with a father doting on her a little?
Before he could finish watching the video, the sound of a scuffle came from behind.
"When did you film this!"
"When Yingbao, you were sulking and humming after the leaf tower was blown down by the wind. It was so cute."
Lin Li didn't want to forgive Ding Sihan anymore. This scene wasn't even filmed. What a useless thing. He didn't have such a daughter.
"Ahhh!!! Sihan, give me your phone," Lin Li turned his head and saw Chen Yuying, whose face had suddenly turned red, snatching Ding Sihan's phone.
Chen Yuying probably wouldn't borrow twenty thousand from Ding Sihan's phone, so Lin Li immediately became wary.
Save the video, forward the video to his alternate account, main account, and the group chat he used as a memo.
A cunning rabbit has eighteen burrows.
As expected, not long after, in the group chat of the four people, only "Ding Sihan has retracted a message" was left.
Chen Yuying breathed a sigh of relief.
"Ahhh, Yingbao, why did you delete my original file too! Can't I watch it either?" When Ding Sihan clicked on the recently deleted folder of her phone and found that Chen Yuying had even checked here, her face showed pain.
"Lin Li, did you save it? Quick, send it to me!" Ding Sihan looked at Lin Li expectantly. He had bought her so much time.
"No, I didn't have time," hearing this bad news, Lin Li shook his head regretfully.
"You're useless!! Useless thing!"
"I'm sorry!!" Lin Li apologized at the top of his lungs.
Chen Yuying breathed a big sigh of relief.
Saved.
Next time she did something so childish and embarrassing, she had to be more careful.
She opened her phone.
A group chat that had been pushed down by other messages popped up. It was the group from last night with only her and Lin Li. The group chat name was Memo 3.
She clicked on it.
The familiar video.
Chen Yuying: "..."
「Chen Yuying: ?」
「Lin Li has retracted a message.」
「Lin Li: Sorry, this group is also in my memo group, so I just forwarded it. Class President, just pretend you didn't see it. Thanks for your cooperation.」
(End of Chapter)