For the entire year following Mei’s death, my thoughts remained focused on my work.

Any time my riven mind drifted to Mei’s death, my entire being would freeze as the thoughts of my body and the feelings of my soul warred against each other.

I knew that her death was caused by her blessing working to manipulate me in future lives. I just didn’t understand what its goal was. I knew that I couldn't outthink something that could predict my every reaction, so my thoughts kept trying to make me move on and focus on what was important. My soul, however, kept returning to the last moment I saw Mei alive.

That genuine smile of warmth didn’t come from her blessing. Her blessing couldn’t mess with me directly like that anymore. How had her blessing been able to drive her to suicide so soon after we separated? There had to be more to the story, but my feelings didn’t hold any sway over my body.

My body and soul were in conflict about what I should do after Mei’s passing, but both were glad that my time as city lord had come to an end. The title of city lord had become nothing but a distraction. There was no longer anything I could learn from the position that would help me in my mission to acquire the spatial fire seed, so any further participation in the city’s governance was meaningless.

With that title shed, I no longer needed to plan the future of the pill factory or its associated farms, and I didn’t need to think about training disciples. Mei had taken care of most of these things for me, but there had still been tasks that I hadn’t been able to delegate away. Having stepped down from my position, I was free of them and could do whatever I wanted.

I needed to keep my focus on my ultimate goal. In a hundred years, Formation Emperor Du XiongMing would die, and I needed to find a way to be next to him when he did.

I needed to form a connection with the ruling family of Brilliant Sun, and I was already in a position to do just that. I was a decent Pill Lord, and I had designs for a revolutionary pill factory. The only problem was that I couldn’t teach formations in this life without risking the long-term consequences of breaking my Oath to the Hu Clan.

Breaking such an Oath wouldn’t have much of an effect after I left Eight Flower, but I was still hesitant to do so. Would the Heavenly Dao remember the broken Oath throughout future timelines? Would breaking it cause Eight Flower’s Bagua Formation to permanently turn against me? I didn’t know, but I wasn’t willing to take the risk.

This was fine, though. There was a lot that I needed to do, even without my designs for a pill factory.

I needed to learn more about the Formation Emperor that I was targeting. I knew nothing about who he was or the cause of his death. Based on his name, it was likely that Du XiongMing was a member of the imperial Du Clan, but I couldn’t be certain of this. I needed to learn more. The more I learned, the easier it would be to acquire the fire seed.

Learning more about Du XiongMing would be my task for the rest of this life.

Slowly, the thoughts converged, and I gained a firmer hold over my mind. I regained my focus.

Even though I was no longer a city lord, I still had connections in Eight Flower, and I could work on slowly raising my alchemy skills while time passed around me. After a hundred years, I would just need to pay for news about the events in Brilliant Sun, and then everything I needed to do in this life would be complete.

This last thought made me smile. I felt happy. Once this job was complete, this life could be over.

I took a carriage out of North Lake City and returned to the capital. I booked a room in the Blue Wind Residences, and then, after a long day of rest, I headed to the Workshops.

I had planned to let the world pass me by for a hundred years, but after only one, the peace and tranquility of my seclusion was broken.

I was working late at night when the door of my workshop burst open in a shower of splinters.

Standing in the doorway was someone I hadn’t seen in decades. SuYin. She was dressed in a ragged, travel-stained robe. Her hair was a mess, and tears were streaming down her face. “What did you do? What did you do, you bastard?”

I looked at her blankly. My mind couldn’t process what was happening. Why was SuYin here? “What–”

“Mei! What the hell did you do to her?”

I dropped my head. “It wasn’t me. Her blessing drove her to suicide. I still don’t understand it.”

SuYin moved faster than I could see. She appeared directly in front of me and slapped me across the face. The strike was so powerful that it knocked me off my feet.

I looked at SuYin with wide eyes. She had to be at least a Peak Lord. How had she gotten so powerful? What kind of benefits had she gotten from the Verdant Forest Sect? My thoughts began to wonder if there was something here that could prove useful, but SuYin snapped me back to the present.

“Don’t you dare say that!” she snarled. “You think I don’t know what’s been going on?”

She reached into a storage bag, pulled out a stack of letters, and slammed them down on my workbench, nearly cracking it in half. “Mei sent me letters. She told me how you’ve been treating her. Don’t you dare say it was her blessing.”

I stared at the stack of letters. Without looking at SuYin, I picked the top one off the stack. The letter was smudged and tear-stained. The writing was barely legible.

————

Yinyin,

I need to talk to someone, and I don’t know who else can understand.

I just met with Fang. He— The way he talked— It’s like he didn’t see me as a human. He spoke about me like I was only a puppet being played with by my blessing.

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He— He did something to me. He took away the voices. Whenever I look at him, everything is so… silent. I don’t know what to do. When I look at him, my emotions overwhelm me. It’s like everything the voices have been suppressing is released all at once. The feeling is… terrifying.

After that, he just left. I— I don’t think he wants to talk to me anymore. I don’t know what to do. Please, I don’t know if you can come here, but please write. I need a friend.

-Mei

————

I picked up the next letter.

————

Yinyin,

It’s been a year, and Fang still hasn’t contacted me. I don’t know what’s going on. I tried to send him messages, but he never responded. I don’t know if he isn’t getting them, or if he’s just choosing to ignore them.

I can’t leave the city to go find him. I’m barely keeping things together here as it is. I don’t know what to do.

————

Yinyin,

I finally saw Fang again today. It was at the selection for my… husband. He decided to participate, but I was too terrified to even look at him. If I did, and the voices disappeared again, I would have broken down in front of everyone.

There were a few other guys in the final selection, and I tried to use them to get a better understanding of what I should do, but it didn’t help. It’s so frustrating not knowing how to act around him. What should I do?

We’re going to be husband and wife, but I haven’t even spoken to him for over a decade. I’m afraid of being alone with him, but maybe if we can just talk to each other, if we can reconnect…

————

I flipped through the stack and picked up the last envelope.

————

Yinyin,

I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore. I think he is as afraid of talking to me as I am of talking to him.

It’s my last day as his Flower, and after this, I won’t have any purpose any longer. I think… he will cut me loose. I don’t know what to do. Thanks to what he has given me, I can live another 400 years, but what’s the point? Why live so long when there is nothing more for me to do?

I’ve decided to be his wife for the rest of my life, and there’s only one way that can happen.

Take care, Yinyin. I hope you have a happy life.

-Mei

————

I stared at the letters as thoughts raced through my mind.

The entire time I was reading, SuYin stood over me, glaring down at me.

“What voices?” I had never heard Mei talk about any voices.

“Did you ever even talk to your wife!? Mei’s ‘blessing’ was a stream of incessant voices in her head that she couldn’t understand. They constantly suppressed her emotions, even when she was alone. Her feelings existed, and she knew what they were, but those feelings were blocked from affecting her body. When she looked at someone, some of the voices would get louder, pulling and tugging at her thoughts and emotions to give her information about how to behave.”

Slumped on the floor, I thought about everything I knew about Mei, and I tried to match it with what I had just read.

My thoughts

began trying to find ways to use this new knowledge to accomplish my goals, but the mechanics of how her blessing operated wouldn’t make much difference. These revelations provided little to help me acquire the fire seed.

I began to feel that having Mei with me would be a benefit to my pursuits, though. If I were to go back to the beginning, I could start over and bring her along to help me.

These feelings made me realize something…

“I was wrong. Even when she was alone, her damn blessing was controlling her. It could even get her to write these things,” I muttered. “It’s still trying to manipulate me.”

SuYin kicked me on the side of my head and knocked me to the floor.

She took a storage bag from her waist and threw it at my chest.

“Mei told me what you were doing. This is what she wanted me to give you. We’re done. Never contact me again.”

Before I could respond, SuYin stormed out of the workshop.

I felt I should chase after her, but I knew I shouldn’t. There was nothing I could say. SuYin was just…

I slowly bent my body to sit up. I ran my hands through my hair to calm down.

SuYin had been affected by Mei–she had to have been. She and Mei had spent a lot of time together back when we were in the Pavilion, and SuYin’s blessing made it so that she never forgot anything. Every little thing Mei was forced to do would have left an impression on her.

I breathed out. My thoughts took a firm hold over my body, making me focus on what was important, granting me a moment of clarity. I needed to work harder to get the fire seed.

Tears began to stream down my cheeks, but my body paid them no attention. It began categorizing the contents of the storage bag. From what SuYin had said, it contained things that Mei’s blessing thought I needed, so it should be useful for what I needed to do in Brilliant Sun. I couldn’t trust her blessing, but I would accept its help.

Inside the bag was a wealth of technique manuals. The highlight was a set of Mid-Earth wood qi cultivation techniques for the Warrior Tier. Aside from this, all the other manuals were basic techniques that were useful for growing low-level herbs.

When I set up an herb farm in Brilliant Sun, these would indeed be extremely useful.

The bag also contained a small packet of assorted, unknown seeds. With no immediate understanding of how to use them, I tossed this packet into my storage space. Because of its small size, it didn’t take up much room, and the seeds might prove useful in the future.

Then, I read through all the manuals, storing the information in my mental library. After that, it was time to decide where to go from here. For the first time since Mei’s death, my body and soul began to work together to plot out how I should proceed.

My thoughts wanted me to stay the course. Living in the Eight Flower Kingdom was safe, especially if I remained within the buildings owned by the Blue Wind Pavilion. I wouldn’t have to worry about surviving long enough to see the fallout of the Formation Emperor’s death, and after that, I would be able to gain a wealth of knowledge that would help me in my next life.

My feelings argued against this. There was no way that I could know what would happen in a hundred years. Better to go to Brilliant now and begin establishing a foundation. If I acted quickly enough, I might even be able to grab the fire seed in this life and save myself a significant amount of time. I needed to hurry. If I tried to be too safe, I might miss something important.

I needed to take risks. Yes, I might die, but that was fine, right?

I thought that made a lot of sense. My goal was to get the fire seed as quickly as possible. Why was I so set on waiting until my next life? I needed to get it sooner. It was more dangerous, but I wouldn’t be losing much if I failed. Risking a couple of decades to save a century was a good bet.

However, before I rushed off to Brilliant Sun, both my thoughts and feelings agreed I needed to prepare for a restart before beginning a journey that could well end in my death. Of all my possessions, the one I was most hesitant to lose was Emperor Li’s book. Before I died, I needed to save as much of it as I could.

I tried several tricks to smuggle information into my mental library, such as copying slightly incorrect information or storing only mnemonics, but nothing worked. Anything that would help me access Rank 4 information was banned from the library. So, I had no other option but to memorize it the old-fashioned way.

I chose which parts of the book to memorize carefully.

Some of it was simplistic information that I had already learned and advanced beyond. While having a perfect copy of this basic information might be useful as a reference, it wasn’t critical.

Some parts were at a level that was still far beyond me that the information slipped from my mind mere moments after I read it. While these sections were no doubt the most important, memorizing them was, unfortunately, impossible.

The best I could do was to focus on the sections that discussed topics slightly more advanced than my current level and memorize them to the best of my ability.

In the end, I spent over two years memorizing this book, and this focused study caused my memories of SuYin’s visit to dull and fade. I could think about it later–after my mission was complete.