CHAPTER 1070: TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE

"Did that man die long ago, and I was just too blind to notice?"

Rosie’s words crushed Tommin’s heart, along with the few scraps of pride that had held him up when he learned that she and Tonnis were still alive. For a fleeting moment, he’d hoped that there might still be a place for him in this world... That he could find some scrap of the father that his son once admired, or a shred of the husband who had held Rosie in his arms with the gentleness that a priest would cradle a sacred relic.

"Rosie, I..." Tommin began, only to be cut off by a stern, sharp command.

"Enough," Ashlynn said, stepping between Rosie and Tommin before the fallen Templar could speak again. "I think we all know how hollow and empty your words have been tonight, Sir Tommin. Anything more would just hurt Lady Rosie more than you already have," she said, turning away from Tommin to take Rosie’s free hand in both of hers.

Behind her, Tommin’s body visibly deflated. His shoulders slumped and he nearly fell over as he clutched his head with his hands. He had so much that he wanted to say... things that he should have said years ago that he’d always put off until the next time he returned home from the battlefields, or things he’d never put into words because he felt they didn’t need to be said between two people who loved each other as much as he and Rosie had.

Now, at the very end of his life, he’d finally realized that nothing should ever go unsaid. That the time to say things had been long ago, but Rosie would never hear those words and neither would Tonnis. He wanted to scream in rage at the injustice of it all. He wanted to yell and curse at Owain for hauling him off on so many ’adventures’ to fight demons at the edges of the march, or in the dark, hidden enclaves within its interior that ordinary men didn’t dare to venture into...

Blasphemous words hung unsaid on his tongue as he swallowed back a mouthful of bile when he realized that he could blame Owain for the time he was away from his family... but he couldn’t blame his absent lord for the way he’d behaved toward his wife and child when they were home together... Just like he couldn’t blame the Church for taking advantage of him when he offered himself up in exchange for protection from Owain’s cruelty.

All of these decisions had been his and his alone, and no matter how much he wanted to say the things he should have said long ago, he’d squandered those opportunities all on his own, and no one was going to give him another one when he’d failed so often before.

"You were very brave to face him tonight," Ashlynn said as her fierce gaze turned gentle when she directed it toward Tommin’s wife, ignoring the sobbing knight behind her to focus on the woman who had suffered from his neglect almost as much as Ashlynn herself had suffered from his blind obedience to his faith and Owain’s orders.

"He knows now that you loved him," Ashlynn said reassuringly. "And that you and Tonnis are safe. It’s more than he deserves after abandoning you to Owain’s schemes," she said, reaching up to gently touch the other woman’s tear stained cheeks.

"Your Dominion, I..." Rosie started, stopping herself when she saw Ashlynn shaking her head. "Thank you," she said as she turned to look at Tommin’s broken, shattered figure where he knelt on the cold flagstones. "Thank you for letting me say goodbye."

"He owed you this much and more," Ashlynn said firmly, with emerald eyes that grew cold once again. "Now go, you shouldn’t be here for what comes next. Sionid will see you back to the village."

"W-what should I tell Tonnis?" Rosie asked hesitantly. "He, he’s sure to hear what happened to his father eventually, so..."

"Tell him that his father died fighting for what he believed in," Ashlynn said with a heavy sigh. "It’s close enough to the truth, and Tonnis doesn’t deserve to have his memories of a loving father tainted by the ugliness of his end. When he’s old enough, when he’s ready, you can tell him more if you wish," she said, giving the older woman’s hands a final squeeze.

"When this war is over," Ashlynn continued. "Many of us will have to learn to set aside the hurts of old wars," she said, blinking back the moisture that gathered in the corner of her eyes as she thought of other hurts to put aside. "A soldier fights for his lord, and a knight fights for his virtues. Sir Tommin fought for his faith. No matter how misguided he may have been, there’s still honor in that for Tonnis to learn from," Ashlynn said in a voice that held fragile hope for far more than Tommin’s son.

"Now, go," Ashlynn said, stepping back and turning to face Sir Tommin. "We’ll speak again soon, Lady Rosie," she promised over her shoulder as she took a deep breath, gathering emerald energy to her hand.

The air in the courtyard grew heavy as Sionid escorted Rosie into the depths of the ancient fortress, leading the soon to be widow away from the place where her husband was destined to die. Several eyes turned to follow her as she left, and it wasn’t until her sobs had faded away with distance that anyone returned their gaze to Ashlynn and Sir Tommin at the center of the courtyard.

"Rosie is a kind woman," Ashlynn said as she knelt on the flagstones before Sir Tommin, placing a hand once again on his cheek and feeling his quiet, steady pulse beneath her fingers. "Kind, and brave, and she loved you with all her heart. You didn’t deserve her," she said, speaking as though it was the greatest of crimes that he was guilty of.

"No, I didn’t," Tommin said in a hoarse voice barely louder than a whisper. "She deserved much better than me. And you’re right," he added, looking up at Ashlynn with sightless eyes and a face stained with tears. "Just knowing that she and Tonnis are safe and well is more than I deserved. Thank you," he said, speaking, perhaps for the first time, with deep, genuine emotion that flowed from his heart.

"Thank you for doing what I failed to do," he said. "Thank you for saving their lives and keeping them safe. I, I can face my end now," he said as he bowed his head, ready to receive the blow of an axe or sword...