CHAPTER 832: ISABELL’S DECISION

"Isabell," Ashlynn said, rushing to the older woman’s side and wrapping her arms around her. "Isabell, I’m sorry," she said softly. "I’m sorry for getting you involved in my mess. Owain would never have targeted your children if I hadn’t asked you to get involved with things back in Blackwell City," she said as she gave Isabell a reassuring squeeze.

"No," Isabell said as she forced herself to step back and look at things logically. "You were right when you sent me the first letter. Owain would have dragged me into this eventually, and if he didn’t, the Holy War would have, one way or another. You gave me the opportunity to get involved on my own terms instead of being forced into it by someone else, so please, don’t apologize."

"Still," Ashlynn said as she pulled back from the embrace. "I didn’t mean to lay something so heavy on you. When I wrote that letter, I don’t think I understood yet what things would turn into, and I never imagined that I would be asking you to become a witch and join my coven."

"I knew it would be a harder decision for you than it was for the others," Ashlynn said as she looked deeply into her friend’s gray eyes. "But I didn’t think it would feel this agonizing. So, you don’t have to. I won’t pressure you. I think I understand now why it’s so hard, so you can forget about it."

"Just be my friend," Ashlynn said gently. "Help us build this place and I’ll make sure that we find a way to bring your family safely to you," she said as she stood. "You don’t have to take on the burdens of witchcraft or become involved in this war."

"No, wait," Isabell said as she reached out and caught Ashlynn’s hand. "I didn’t say no." She held on tightly, as if Ashlynn might disappear if she let go. "I’m just... I need a moment to think this through properly."

Isabell pulled Ashlynn back down to sit beside her, still holding her hands as she stared into the fire for a long, quiet moment, watching the flames dance and flicker. They were the flames of a gentle, warming hearth, one that made for a comfortable home with friends or family. At the same time, they reminded her of the flames she’d rained down on towns filled with innocent villagers who were on the ’wrong’ side of a war between two feuding royals. When she finally spoke again, her voice was quieter, more thoughtful.

"When I fought for the Emerald Prince, I fought for someone else’s war, not for myself. I think... I think that let me stay distant from some of it. I could be detached in a way that people fighting for their homes never could be." She turned to meet Ashlynn’s eyes. "But that detachment came with a price. I could build engines of war because I told myself it was for a just cause. Because I believed that the war was necessary to give people a better future."

"The truth is," Isabell said as she removed her spectacles and cleaned them slowly, giving her hands a task to stay busy with while she organized her thoughts. "I’ve been afraid of getting attached to another great cause. Afraid of caring too much, because caring too much is what leads to the kind of destructive desires you warned me about."

"I’ve done the best I could in Blackwell City, but I’ve never taken any great risks or poured my heart and soul into any of the projects I took on for your father," she said as she put her spectacles back on and looked around the comfortable room, then out the window toward the lights of Vale City below. "It was enough just to do right by my family, and beyond that, to do well for the Illustrious Company of Engineers."

"I don’t think my father ever felt that you slighted him," Ashlynn said gently as she rested a hand on her friend’s slender shoulder. "He always praised your work, whether it was on Blackwell Manor or on projects for the city and the county. Even if your work wasn’t filled with passion, you were so blindingly competent and capable that everyone knew you were doing your best for them."

"I don’t know if I ever did ’my best’ work for your father, but I do care about helping people," Isabell said with growing conviction. "I like it here in the Vale of Mists. I see the potential of this place, and I want to bring my family here. I want to help build something that will last, something that will bring people together instead of forcefully keeping them apart. I want to be a part of the dream you have for a world where the wars between humans and the Eldritch have come to an end because we’ve built a peace that can endure," she said as her hands trembled slightly until she clasped them firmly together in her lap.

"And that’s exactly why I’m terrified," Isabell continued. "Because if I bring my family here, I can’t stand apart from the fighting and the violence anymore. If I bring them here and someone threatens them, I’ll have to do everything in my power to keep them safe. Even if that means becoming the very thing I swore I’d left behind in the Emerald Kingdom."

"Even if it means completely destroying the people who would harm what you, what we," she corrected herself, "are trying to build here. So I’m frightened by the power and the potential to do great harm because I’ve already wielded the power to destroy whole villages and towns, and it’s a terrifying thing to do. I guess what I’m really asking is, if I join your coven and I join your fight, do you really think I can still be a woman who is building the future? Or is the need to defend my loved ones going to turn into the ’desire’ that overwhelms me?"

"Isabell," Ashlynn said gently as she reached out to stroke her friend’s soft, gray hair. "I wouldn’t have asked you to do this if I didn’t believe that you could do it. I, I know what it’s like to have a strong dark desire and a bloodlust that is all but impossible to ignore," she said softly. "But I also know what it’s like to have a whole coven rallying around you when you’re at your lowest and your worst."

"You’ve already stepped up for me along with the rest of the coven," Ashlynn pointed out. "You’ve already stood in harm’s way when I was losing control. So why would you think that we would do any less for you?"

"You’re right," Isabell said slowly. "I’d been thinking that I would have to face it all by myself, but Lady Heila said it again and again... I just didn’t hear it. The coven really is a second family, isn’t it?"

"It is," Ashlynn said with a warm smile. "Does that mean that you’re ready to join it?"

"It does," Isabell said with a slight smile of her own as she felt the heavy weight of the decision falling from her shoulders. She was still frightened, and there was still a great deal she had to learn about witches, but there would be time to soothe her fears and learn what she must learn. "When do I need to be ready to face the test you mentioned? In the spring, I imagine? Once you’re done with the war against Owain and the forces of the march?"

"Tomorrow morning," Ashlynn said as she placed a hand on her chest where a seed of witchcraft had been growing ever since she gave Virve her seed. "There’s time enough while Dame Sybyll prepares to assault Hanrahan Town, and we await Owain’s response to the destruction of the Summer Villa. And I need to prepare another seed so that it’s ready when the time comes," she said with a faraway look.

"So you were certain that I would accept from the very beginning," Isabell said with a wry smile. "You just needed the stubborn old woman to realize that the youngsters had already arrived at the right answer long ago," she teased.

"I wasn’t certain," Ashlynn said, shaking her head at the other woman. "If you’d refused, I would have planted the seed and allowed it to grow into a witchwood tree. I always meant for you to be free to make this decision."

She just hadn’t intended to ask Isabell to make this decision so quickly. But, she could only cultivate one seed of witchcraft at once, and the next one she needed to prepare would be the most important one yet, perhaps the most important one ever... and she just couldn’t wait.

"You should rest tonight," Ashlynn said as she took Isabell’s hands in hers and gave her a tight, reassuring squeeze. "I’ll ask Georg to prepare a special breakfast for you. The process can take up to nine days, so you’ll want to eat a hearty meal."

"And, Isabell," Ashlynn added after a moment of hesitation. "If there’s a message you want to leave behind, for Casquas or your children, it’s best to write it down. I have faith that you’ll succeed in your trial, or I wouldn’t offer you this seed, but only you know about the dangers and desires that lurk in your own heart. If they consume you, you won’t ever wake from this trial."

"I know," Isabell said softly. "While you were... training, I asked both Lady Heila and Sir Ollie what their trials were like. They’ve explained the dangers to me."

"And you’re still willing?" Ashlynn asked, not because she doubted, but because she needed to hear Isabell accept the risks.

"I am," Isabell said firmly. "There are dangers, but there’s also the opportunity to build a brighter future, for my family and for all the families here. If I let myself walk away from that kind of chance," she said with a broad grin and a twinkle in her gray eyes that seemed eager for a challenge. "Then what kind of engineer am I?"