CHAPTER 259: THE QUEEN’S FEAR

ERIS

I was lost in my own thoughts, feeling a kind of tension radiating from Soren’s body wrapped around mine but perhaps he was just exhausted like I was.

My body screamed for rest... every muscle ached, every bone felt hollow, divine fire still smoldering in my veins where it shouldn’t be. But my mind? My mind refused to quiet.

While Soren continued his gentle kisses trailing across my shoulder and neck, my brain spun and calculated despite the intimacy of the moment.

Today played back in sharp detail... Vetra’s accusations delivered with perfect maternal concern, the planted evidence too amateur to be convincing, the bought witnesses crumbling under basic scrutiny, nobles turning on their emperor like pack animals sensing weakness. All lies. All schemes. All Vetra.

I saw the pattern clearly now, could trace her strategy like lines on a map. First, spread rumors to isolate me from potential allies. Second, physical attack with demons to make people fear me, to associate my presence with death and destruction. Third, public accusation with fake evidence to force investigation and arrest, to corner Soren into choosing between me and his throne.

But what was the fourth step? What came next?

She wouldn’t stop. People like Vetra never stopped until they won or were destroyed everything. She’d escalate, push harder, find new weapons to wield. And if I waited for her next move, more innocents would die as collateral damage in a war that had nothing to do with them.

I needed to dismantle her support first. Cut away her weapons and shields one by one, leave her exposed and vulnerable and alone with no one to hide behind. Then strike the final devastating blow.

The method crystallized in my mind... direct and straightforward but unexpected. Not complicated schemes layered on elaborate plots. Just using what they wouldn’t see coming. I’d turn their own weaknesses against them, their own sins, their own greed. Simple. Elegant. Brutal.

Something old and familiar bubbled up inside me, rising from depths I’d tried to bury. That power. That purpose. That cruel dark satisfaction I’d felt when I destroyed enemies and burned people in my first life as the true villainess, the Queen of Fire and Destruction.

And there was grief too... real and heavy, pressing against my ribs like stones. For the innocent citizens who died. Children, mothers, fathers, gone because Vetra needed a weapon against me and chose innocent lives as her ammunition.

But underneath the grief lived something else. Fulfillment. Purpose.

Because this was my element... court intrigue, political warfare, manipulation, destruction, strategy, victory. I was good at this. Always had been. This was who I was at my core, the villainess returning to form after months of trying to be something softer, something better.

And Vetra had stooped so low. Killed her own citizens by the hundreds just to frame one woman, stop one wedding, keep power she had no right to anymore. That level of evil, that disregard for life, made my own villainy feel righteous. Necessary. Like justice and duty to remove this cancer from the empire permanently, completely, brutally.

I also remembered the dark shadowy presence I’d felt during the Council meeting... familiar. I’d felt it before. In the market, when my fire went out of control, when everything had nearly burned. The witch. She must have survived somehow, must still be in the palace somewhere, hiding in Vetra’s shadow.

Though it was only suspicion, the pieces fit too well to ignore.

The guilt of lives lost weighed heavy on my shoulders as I wondered what I could actually do to help beyond destroying those responsible. A realization dawned slowly, surprising me with its clarity... I genuinely wanted to help the Nevarians. Not because it served my interests or protected my position. Just... because.

I looked at myself through new eyes and saw how much I’d changed. Had never thought in either life that my heart would be big enough to accommodate anyone who wasn’t directly beneficial to me.

I remembered the old Eris... the one with no compassion for anyone, who killed her own people without remorse, who reduced soldiers to ash without blinking, the one who had to be defeated for the story to end properly. What would that version think of who I’d become? She’d probably see me as weak, pathetic even. To her, fear meant strength. Terror equaled power. Love was vulnerability to be exploited.

But now I felt every sharp edge softening, felt my heart that had always been like stone blackened with ash cracking further and further into something tender, something that felt things it shouldn’t.

And it was all because of one man.

The one behind me now, holding me like I’d run away if he let go. Soren.

I melted into his touch despite trying not to, remembering what Pyronox had said about me falling in love with "the child who bears Aenithra’s mark." I couldn’t come to terms with it before... had pushed the thought away, buried it, pretended it wasn’t happening.

But now, back in his arms with his heartbeat steady against my spine, the truth was as glaring as noon sun.

I was in love with him.

Falling so helplessly like this terrified me.

Even knowing Soren probably wouldn’t hurt me the way Caelen did... wouldn’t use my love as weapon against me, wouldn’t twist devotion into chains... I was still more than terrified of acknowledging these feelings. It made them too real, too overwhelming for something I desperately needed to keep in check.

I knew how fiercely I could love. How intense my emotions were when I let them loose. I’d loved Caelen with everything I had in my first life, had given him devotion that grew into obsession, and look how that ended. With him driving a sword through my heart while I smiled, grateful it was finally over.

I might end up loving Soren too much. Might smother him with intensity he didn’t want or need. Might scare him away just like I’d scared Caelen away with demands and possession disguised as affection.

The fear tasted like ash in my mouth.

But loving Soren made me feel whole in ways I never had before. I could feel his heartbeat against my back, steady and strong. Just the brush of his lips, his breath cold against my overheated skin, sparked something inside my tired body that felt like coming home after years of wandering.

What would I do with these feelings? Where would they lead except toward inevitable heartbreak?

His voice came soft and low against my ear, pulling me from spiraling thoughts. "Can you really tell when someone is lying? Do the Ignivas truly have that secret ability?"

I smiled slightly, grateful for the distraction. "What do you think?"

"I think you’re lying."

"Well then." I let my smile widen. "There’s your answer."

Soren chuckled against my skin, the vibration traveling through me. "You’re beyond clever Your Majesty. Making up a lie like that to coax the truth out of someone who’d already convinced themselves you were guilty."

"I had no choice," I said simply. "They’d bought witnesses and fabricated evidence. Needed something they couldn’t counter with more gold or staged proof."